September 2014 Archives

The Directional Driller's 23rd Psalm
September 27, 2014 7:00 AM | Posted in: ,

My pal Kelly posted his version of the 23rd Psalm on his Facebook wall, written from the perspective of an oil driller. I was inspired by his version to create my version, which is similar - but since my company drills nothing but horizontal wells while Kelly tells me he's primarily drilling vertical wells, my angle (see what I did there?) is from the perspective of a directional driller. If you're not in the oil business, some of the jargon may be unfamiliar, so I've included links to pages that may clarify things a bit.

By the way, I don't think this is sacrilegious or disrespectful of Scripture, because we all seek (and find) God from where we are, and I believe He cares about all the details of our lives, and this includes what we do for a living. I think it's helpful and even important to try to relate Scripture to the everyday aspects of our lives. Given that, how might you re-word Psalm 23 to fit your personal situation?

The Lord is my Geosteerer; I shall not miss my target bottom hole location.

He makes me slide through soft shale; He leads me past thief zones.

He restores my mud motors; He leads me in the well path of mild doglegs for His name's sake.

Yea, though I drill through the zone of limestone stringers and chert, I will fear no DBR'd bit, for You are with me; Your agitator and kickpad they comfort me.

You prepare a directional plan before me in the presence of management skeptics;

You lube my wellbore with oil-based mud; my reserve pit doesn't run over.

Surely one-BHA laterals and cement to surface will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the cooling house[1] of the Lord forever.

[1] A cooling house, aka safety trailer or safety house, is an air-conditioned trailer placed on a drill site for the use of rig personnel who might be suffering from heat exhaustion.


Despite the fact that only nine customers (out of 10 million orders) have reported problems with iPhone 6 bending, the alleged phenomenon has spawned numerous memes and generated its own Twitter hashtag, #bendgate. 

Since the internet is never wrong about stuff like this, I immediately recognized that this is a world-class problem in desperate need of a world-class solution, and I wasted no time (OK, perhaps I wasted some time, but not a lot) in focusing my awesome engineering skills on bailing Apple out of this horrible pretend crisis. 

I present for your consideration the ultimate iPhone rigidifying accessory, the iBeam.

The iBeam, for the prevention of bendy iPhones

Simply affix the iBeam to your phone (you only take selfies with anyway, so you won't miss the camera on the back) and you're guaranteed* to never have to suffer the embarrassment of a floppy phone.

*Certain exclusions apply.

Running Thoughts
September 24, 2014 8:35 PM | Posted in:

Some random observations arising from yesterday's run...

It's amazing what a 10° difference in temperature makes. A week ago, with temps in the low 90s, I was struggling after only a couple of miles. Yesterday, I made almost five miles (I stop at 45 minutes regardless of distance) and felt good.

OK, "good" is a relative term, of course. In this case, it means "I didn't eagerly desire the comfort of death."

About half of the distance was on unpaved roads and trails that wind through the pastures around our neighborhood. Conventional wisdom tells us that running off-road is easier on one's joints, but our trails are pretty hard-packed and/or rocky, so I'm not sure there's much benefit from that respect. But the almost complete absence of traffic and the frequent appearance of wildlife are indisputably positive factors.

T-Rex, sort of
Typical West Texas wildlife.

I also have my own theory that running on uneven surfaces has physical benefits like improving coordination and strengthening joints and muscles due to the continuous changes in direction required to avoid ruts, mud (yes, we occasionally have mud), cactus, and other obstacles. 

I like running because it's a minimalist activity. Although cycling is my preferred form of outdoor exercise, the equipment requirements are steep. That's not to say that I don't have my own requirements for running gear. I'm very picky about shoes, and I'm now running in a new pair of New Balance Fresh Foam 980 trail shoes - the red, yellow, and black version (think coral snake). They look a lot faster than I am, but the main advantage besides being comfortable is that they don't pick up gravel in the soles that can scratch wood flooring after a run.

New Balance trail shoes
Mesmerizing, isn't it? IRL, the shoes don't float. Pity.

I don't wear a watch when I run, but I have the MapMyRun app going on my iPhone. It records my route and associated statistics, and I have it set up to alert me every quarter mile so I'll know why I'm feeling so bad. It will also play music from my iTunes collection if I ask it to, but I prefer the rhythm of the blood pounding in my brain in syncopation to my raspy breathing.

MapMyRun screenshot
Ran uphill a total of 30' over 5 miles. Leadville, here I come.

I did have two pleasant surprises during the run. First, there were occasional sprinkles of rain to help keep things cool, without being heavy enough to create mud (I'm not into shoe cleaning). Second, Berry Simpson rode up on his mountain bike and we chatted a bit (he's remarkably skilled at slow-motion maneuvering). I don't normally like to run with anyone else - my wife excepted - but his company was a welcome, albeit brief distraction.

Mud run
I would hate to have to clean those shoes.

Berry is one of those guys who thinks deep thoughts and wrestles with philosophical and theological issues and writes entire books while he runs. I, on the other hand, focus mainly on questions of more tangible import. You know, things like, "what are the symptoms of a heart attack?" and "would someone find my body before the coyotes?" and my theological musings are limited to making deals with God if He'll let me survive and the only things I mentally compose are addenda to my will.

Berry commented that we needed to enjoy the trails while we could because they would probably soon be developed into neighborhoods. He could be right, but the more oil wells they drill, the more reluctant developers are going to be to build houses. And my run took me within a quarter mile of two well sites, one recently drilled and one with a rig still on it.

I'm not very fast, but at least I don't run very far. I've been running for 30 years, and for much of that period, 8 minute miles were the Holy Grail of Pace. But now that I suffer from an incurable condition known as RBS (Receding Birthday Syndrome), that goal is now a foggy dream.

On the other hand, every time I set out on a run (or a ride, or even a walk), I offer a prayer of thanks for the ability to do whatever it is I can do on that particular day. I don't take my health or fitness - however diminishing it might be or become - for granted. Every step is a blessing.

It took almost seven years...
September 21, 2014 1:26 PM | Posted in: ,

...but they finally made it to our backyard.

Photo - Squirrel in tree

I'm not thrilled about having squirrels in our neighborhood, but their appearance was inevitable. We are sequestered by at least a quarter mile of treeless pasture on every side, but a lot of trees come in via landscapers and it was just a matter of time before some of these guys hitched a ride.

It's not that I have anything against squirrels, but I'm dealing with enough distractions as it is without...oh, look!...

Driving Mr. Crazy
September 13, 2014 11:20 AM | Posted in: ,

Everyone who drives slower than me is an idiot, and everyone who drives faster than me is a jerk.
 --Me, and probably every other driver in Midland, Texas

Last week, while driving home after work, I encountered the following at consecutive intersections:

  • A driver in a pickup turned left in front of me after the signal had turned green for me to go through the intersection. Having driven in Midland for decades, I anticipated that and had slowed. What I didn't anticipate was the woman in the small sedan hugging his bumper and completely blocked from view who never came close to making a legal turn, and who glared at me for almost t-boning her.

  • A few blocks later, I pulled up behind an overly (in my opinion) timid driver who stopped as soon as the light turned yellow, causing us both to have to wait for the city's longest signal (an admittedly subjective assessment but after a day at the office, it's entirely warranted, if you know what I mean).

So, let's recap. Within the space of three minutes, I was angered by (1) a driver who ran a red light, and (B) a driver who refused to run a [almost-red] light. What's wrong with this picture?

Ask anyone who regularly drives the streets of our fair city and they'll tell you that the population of insane drivers has skyrocketed in direct proportion to the rig count. But, having said that, I've realized that my hypocritical attitude is not doing my mental state and blood pressure any favors...and it's certainly not improving the driving habits of others.

I confess that I have many faults, but angry judgment of other drivers is one of the worst, and the preceding realization has brought that into focus. I'm now making a conscious effort to remain calm in the face of what I perceive (and, honestly, it's a fair judgment) as inconsiderate, inattentive, and just plain bad driving. My wife will likely tell you that the effort is a work in progress with little discernible improvement, but I really am trying. As is the case with much in life, I can't control my surroundings, but I can control my reaction to them.

Well, theoretically, anyway.

Nest Report
September 5, 2014 8:38 PM | Posted in:

One of the guys at work claimed he'd seen a hummingbird nest in one of the trees outside our new office building. I was skeptical; in all our years of putting up feeders and watching the little guys, I'd never seen a hummer's nest.

So, today after lunch, Debbie and I walked past a live oak tree and she said it was where the nest was allegedly located. I looked up and immediately saw this:

Hummingbird nest

OK, so it's not the best photo in the world. The wind was gusting and it was threatening rain, and my phone had a hard time figuring out where to focus. But this is definitely a hummingbird's nest, no larger than two inches across. I figured it would be hidden better, but the tiny size means it's difficult to spot unless you're seriously searching for it.

I didn't see any activity around the nest and it was too high in the branches for me to peek inside. I have the same problem with the barn swallow nest on our front porch, but the occupants have no problem peeking at me:

Barn swallow nest with two fledglings

Here's the interesting thing about this. This is the THIRD brood of hatchlings this season in this nest! The swallows have been frisky little things this summer. And notice how the nest has grown taller; it's almost bumping up against the ceiling.

I'm not sure whether I'll leave this nest up once they migrate for the winter. As I've mentioned before, it's in a fairly out-of-the-way location, and if I knock it down, they might pick a less convenient place to rebuild. But after two years, it's bound to be pretty gross, and maybe it's time to make them start over next spring.

In closing, here's a picture of our Horseshoe Bay watch lizard, Poirot the Anole.

Green anole on fence


About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries from September 2014 listed from newest to oldest.

August 2014 is the previous archive.

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