School Bond Boneheads...Super Bowl Commercials...
Category: Kitchen Sink...
Posted Monday, January 27, 2003 at 05:17 AM [GMT-6]

I expected the Midland School Bond rhetoric to heat up in this week preceding voting day, and the letters to the editor in yesterday's MRT didn't disappoint.

In other local blogs the school bond opposition has generally been described in terms of intellectual prowess (or lack thereof, actually). At first, I tended to agree. These folks either were sadly misinformed - meaning that they had inhabited a sensory deprivation chamber for months at a time - or they just didn't get it. In this age of lowered expectations, we can understand - if not entirely tolerate - ignorance, intentional or otherwise.

However, I now subscribe to the theory described by one astute letter writer: the CFR and like-minded supporters seem to be motivated out of a sense of personal dislike...for the School Board, for the MISD Administration, for "The Establishment," the members of which are obviously taking The Public for a huge ride on the backs of hardworking taxpayers. Their venom seems to have nothing to do with the facts or the real issues. "Kill 'em all and sort out the bodies later."

I don't know how you deal with this, at least not in a democratic society. The only answer is for those without such personal, emotion-based agendas get out and vote, and hope that the intentionally ignorant are and remain a small minority.

The 2003 edition of the Super Bowl is history, and an otherwise forgettable game was somewhat enlivened by the sub-plot of whether Tampa Bay would finally break loose of its legacy as a world class loser. It did so emphatically, although at one point it appeared the "Ultimate Football Contest" would turn into the world's most watched game of "keep away."

This was the first game of the season I watched from start to finish (including the really awful halftime), but I really was just in it for the commercials. Collectively, the ads graded out at only about a C+, with the following being the standouts (not always in a good way). Note that some of these commercials may not have been made just for the Super Bowl, but since I don't usually watch pro football, they were new to me, and this is, after all, my awards list...

• Best Overall – The Bud commercial with the football-playing horses and the zebra reviewing the play. Rated high for relevance, anthropomorphism, and humor. Actually could have done without the cowboy commentary at the end, but that would have given the audience too much credit.
  
  
• Grossest – Hands-down, this award goes to the Dodge truck commercial, where a vehicular Heimlich maneuver is applied to the redneck passenger choking on a slug of beef jerkey. We know it's successful by the splat on the windshield, of which we get a close-up. (Question: Was the choker the driver of the beater Dodge Charger in that other commercial, the one with the line, "hey, has that thing got a Hemi?"?). Runner-up: Bud Light's Big-Butted Mom (if you saw it, you know)
  
  
• Funniest, in a sad sort of way – The ad for Pepsi Twist with Ozzy Osbourne and Donnie and Marie Osmond. This one had been "pre-released" so it wasn't a total surprise (although I didn't anticipate the end...which I won't give away here, so that you can be surprised the first of the next 12,000 times you see it). The sad part? I'm not sure Ozzy was acting.
  
  
• Lamest – H&R Block's commercial with Willie Nelson. It probably would have scored higher except for the high level of pre-game hype. It just didn't meet expectations. Runner-up: The Bud Light commercial with the three-armed guy.
  
  
• Edge-iest – This one was a tie between Bud Light (again), with the upside down clown (again, you just have to see it to, um, appreciate it) and Trident chewing gum, with the squirrel and panel of dentists. Actually, the more I think about it, the better the Trident pitch stacks up for the funniest. Who'da thought?
  
  
• Strangest – Michelob Ultra beer as a sports drink...? What were they thinking?
  
  
• Most Obscure - Reebok's "Office Linebacker"...I have no idea what this was all about.
  
  
• Biggest Disappointment - All of the AT&T commercials (the Gilligan's Island take-off was a contender for lamest, but ultimately wasn't even good enough to compete). Why disappointing? AT&T's campaign from a couple of year's ago - based around the spinning blue ball that morphed into various intriguing yet simple line animations - was a modern classic. Now we get "mLife." How fallen are the mighty. Permalink