Quotes fer Real Texans...Who comes up with this stuff?
Category: Kitchen Sink...
Posted Wednesday, January 08, 2003 at 03:47 PM [GMT-6]

"There are rules to horse ridin', but the horse won't necessarily know them."

That's one of many great quotes from a little book I received as a Christmas stocking stuffer. The book is entitled "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On! II," so I guess there's a volume one, unless the author's just messin' with my head. Actually, a quick Googling reveals that there is a volume one, along with a number of other similar books by Texas Bix Bender. He now lives in Nashville, so I don't know that we can take him all that seriously anymore. On the other hand, the ability to overlook the results of embarrassing decisions is part of The Cowboy Way, so I say live and let live.

Anyway, there's something appealing and satisfying about how those old-timey sayings can shed rays of wisdom on current situations that we'd be tempted to say are much too complicated and, well, advanced for such rustic advice. In fact, I found myself in a recent situation with a website client where the preceding quote was so applicable I spewed Diet Vanilla Coke out my nose when I realized it. But that's another story (which is code for "he may read this blog").

If you live in Midland, did you happen to catch the article headline on the front page of the MRT?

"Animals Play Key Role In Rodeo Success"

You coulda knocked me over with a feather. All this time I've been marvelling at the skill and dexterity of them guys in them horse and bull suits...not to mention the sheer courage of the ones who climb into the steer suits. You gotta be pretty secure to play a steer.

But now we come to find out that it's really...gasp...animals that are playing the roles, of, well, animals. What's this world coming to?

On a not-so-light note, I almost walked into the living room wall this morning as I was heading out to pick up the paper and heard this line emanating from the mouth of a local morning show anchor (who shall remain unnamed but who bears an eerie resemblance to Sandy Duncan, and, yes, I know...that pretty much rules out Mel Hudman):

"Texas boasts the highest police fatality rate in the nation."

OK, to their credit, they changed this lead-in the next time the story cycled, but still...?! "Boasts"? I know we Texans take pride in our tough and rugged, um, whatever (look at the guys in the steer suits), but that was just embarrassing.

You can do better, folks.