Thrashing About in the World of Sports
Category: Sports (Pro/College/HS)...
Posted Wednesday, October 15, 2003 at 11:08 AM [GMT-6]

• Can You Make A Living Doing That? — I see where Anna Kournikova, having fully proven the validity of "The Peter Principle" in the world of tennis, is contemplating giving up the sport in order to pursue mediocrity in the fields of acting and TV announcing.
  
  Her ATP competitors were unanimous in their expressions of disappointment over her planned departure. One player, wishing to remain anonymous, had this to say: "Anna will be sorely missed. She was always good for advancement to one more round."



• Is There A Plastic Surgeon In The House? — So...a Cubs fan robs Moises of an inning-ending foul ball, and the Cubbies revert to type, blowing a three run lead and probably losing their shot at The Series. Setting aside the fact that the team still gave up eight runs in one inning — can you really blame that on one foul ball? — you have to feel sorry for the poor fan.
  
  In Tikrit, Saddam Hussein, wishing to remain anonymous, was overheard to say, "Boy, I'd hate to be in that guy's shoes!"



• Life's Hard, and Then You Die — That lovable scamp, Tampa Bay defensive lineman Warren Sapp, has just picked up a big fine for "mistreating officials."
  
  One official, wishing to remain anonymous, explained the situation: "I'm pretty sure he's the meanie that also took my binkie."
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