An Unmarried Woman's Perspective on Abstinence
Category: Faith...
Posted Monday, December 29, 2003 at 09:39 AM [GMT-6]

Dawn over at The Dawn Patrol has yet another insightful post, this one directed toward those who continue to believe the lie that expecting unmarried people to practice sexual abstinence is a pipedream.

The "money quote":

I still have urges to do things that would require what amfAR so delicately calls "protection." But I know that even if such protection were 100% effective against HIV, it would still be 0% effective against a much more certain disease arising from sex without love: heartsickness. Loveless sex is a very poor Band-Aid against loneliness, and it ultimately keeps the wound from healing.

Dawn has the answer (or, rather, The Answer) to this problem. If you need a hint, just look at the category into which I've placed this post.

On a related note, I'm impress and encouraged by the number of female bloggers who are stepping up and articulately endorsing what Dawn has written. In recent months, for example, we've seen similar offerings from Jen and Irene, two intelligent and thoughtful women who also know The Answer.

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Comments

Thanks, Eric. Dawn is absolutely right, of course. It saddens me that so many kids (boys and girls) are constantly bombarded with lies about sex and abstinence.

Posted by: jen at December 29, 2003 10:11 AM

Thanks, Eric. My personal belief is that men & women are all searching for love, but end up searching in all the wrong places. The only One who can love us the way we long to be loved is God, who *is* Love. Nothing else will be able to fill that emptiness within us.

Posted by: irene at December 29, 2003 12:26 PM

Irene, while I don't disagree that God's love is wholly sufficient, I also believe that He has provided for many people a human "conduit" of His love in the form of a mate whom He has selected in advance. The pure love of a wife and husband who have come together within and through God's will is about as good a picture of heaven as we'll see on earth! That's why it's worth waiting for, right?

Posted by: Eric at December 29, 2003 04:56 PM

Yes, I agree, and like the Reverend Mother in The Sound of Music says, "Love between a man and woman can be holy too" (my favourite film of all time!). But one has to be in love with God *first* or else the love we seek in others will be a paltry substitute.

I went through years when I kept on telling God I was lonely and grumbling at Him for taking so long to send my mate... when I actually knew that "he" -- whoever he was -- would not come as long as I did not want God more than I wanted a relationship. It was one thing to know that, and another thing entirely to let go!

But I knew that it would be wrong to get into a relationship merely to assuage the loneliness. That would have been a Very Bad Mistake. I could just imagine myself being all clingy and possessive and demanding all of the guy's attention... I knew I'd choke the relationship to death as long as I didn't have that sense of security in God's love.

I wasn't sure I'd ever get to where I am today, though. It still amazes me that I've come so far. Putting God in the centre of my life is much easier said than done!

Posted by: irene at December 30, 2003 11:03 AM

Irene, you're exactly right, of course, about the importance of having the proper priorities, and I commend you for attempting to apply them to your life. God will bless you for doing that!

Posted by: Eric at December 31, 2003 07:15 AM
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