Well said! I have buried 8-10 suicides in my 20+ years of pastoral ministry. It is never easy ... but I express the same view that you have shared. Funerals are bad enough ... they are a whole lot tougher when it is a suicide.

Long time ago, the father of a girl in my Young Life club killed himself. She had a younger brother who was in junior high at the time. I've been to a few funerals, but I have to say that the funeral of a suicide death is the saddest kind. There was a darkness in the church that day - a heavyness, a burdened spirit within the body of grievers. I don't know his eternal fate, and that may explain the gravity of that particular funeral.

But there was good news that came out of his death. That girl drew strength from her Lord. We were able to minister to her and through her to her mother and brother. And a couple of years later, her brother became the driving force behind the growth of the ministry at his high school. I can't begin to count the lives that were changed for Jesus Christ because of the suicide of that kid's father.

I should have mentioned that I was a volunteer leader of that Young Life club not a student. I'm not sure it was clear.

My wife, Toni (The Purdiest girl in the world) has also some experience, as her father took his life when she was twelve. Unfortunately and most grievously, he most likely did not know the Lord. Alas...

Theognome

Paul, I can't imagine how difficult it is to preside over a service like that, especially if the person isn't saved, or if you don't know his or her spiritual condition. We have an associate pastor who handles almost all the funerals in our church, to take the burden off our senior pastor. He did 10 services between Thanksgiving and Christmas. It takes a very special person to perform this ministry.

Jen and Theo, it almost sounds like you are describing the same situation, albeit from different perspectives. The fact that God is able to turn our mourning into dancing is a blessing, although it can be years before we're ready to understand and receive it.

As I get older, I catch myself occasionally looking at myself in the mirror and thinking "You know, one day I will just cease to be," and I'm always filled with melancholy, but I cannot today imagine taking that step on my own, even though I did consider such a thing many years ago, BC (before Christ).

As much as I try to be understanding of suicides, I always come back to the fact that it's a pretty deep act of cowardice and self-centeredness. No one gets out of the situation without hurt and pain.

Bryan, having a bit more mileage on me than you, I've somehow managed to lose my ability to judge things like this in such black-and-white terms. While the "hurt and pain" caused by suicide is inarguable and tragic, I also understand that some hurts in life are so deep and pervasive as to be inconceivable by those who haven't experienced them. I'm not trying to make excuses for those who commit suicide, but more than ever I feel the truth of the saying, "there but for the grace of God go I."