The Happy Crumpeter*
Category: Food...
Posted Thursday, January 08, 2004 at 09:53 AM [GMT-6]

Proving once again that I shall go to any lengths to provide useful culinary recommendations to my loyal readers, I have immersed myself in the hoity-toity world of British breakfast pastries, and I bring you glad tidings of great joy: crumpets are the cat's meow!

I rejoice in breakfast; it's my favorite meal of the day, and I enjoy a wide variety of morning consumables: regional faves like huevos rancheros and migas; down-home delights like biscuits and red-eye gravy and aigs fried in bacon-grease; upper-crust creations such as scones, English muffins and bagels-and-lox (not that we ever have any of the latter worth writing about here in Mid-Land). The only thing I draw the line at is menudo, for reasons which I shan't document here.

I now add the crumpet to the list of A-OK breakfast provisions. I always thought that crumpets were more cookie-like..."crumpets and tea" just conjured visions of a delicate butter cookie. But if Wolferman's is authentic (and I don't doubt that it is), a crumpet is actually more like a working man's English muffin: a tad denser and more compact, perhaps just a bit sweeter, and just a little less chewy. Don't be fooled by its resemblance to a frozen toaster pancake (the creation of which is a crime against humanity deserving of the most severe sanctions).

They're also pretty nutritious, compared to some alternatives (Krispy Kreme comes to mind). The plain crumpets from Wolferman's are 90 calories each, all carbs (sorry, Atkins Apologists). Of course, I can't leave well enough alone; the temptation to slather them with butter as soon as they pop from the toaster is just too great.

If you prefer a sweeter topping, you'd do well to consider another Wolferman's product, their Raspberry Curd. It's sweet-tart and creamy, and makes your run-of-the-mill jellies and jams seem like something you'd find in a little peel-open plastic container at the end of a school cafeteria line.

I think that about covers it. Let's see...lunch in 90 minutes...hmmm...did I mention that crumpets are great for dessert, too?

*A tip of the stetson to Bert Kaempfert for penning "The Happy Trumpeter" waaaaay back in 1962!