You've touched, indirectly, on a very interesting point, Eric.

There was an era when a "stay-at-home-mom" was called a "home maker" and did just that, make a home. I didn't fully appreciate what that fully entailed until I recently acquired a voluminous cook book printed in the early-50s. In it were pictures of "home makers" preparing the delicacies described in the recipies, and such delicacies! It also has massive chapters on home entertaining.

Several weeks of reading and re-reading made me realize that women played an entirely different role in the lives of their families than they do now. Back then, "home making" was a full-time job in itself. Women of the time focused on being able to produce exquisite food, to create and maintain their homes as gorgeous living environments, to nurture and sustain the lives of their families, to "make a home".

A woman didn't have a career outside of furthering her husband's and it was through home entertaining that all her skills were put to the test. People talk about "networking" as if it's some new business concept that was created in the greedy, yuppie 80's. It's a new name for a very old idea. From the look of it, networking still happened back then, if not more regularly. It just happened in people's homes in the "small gatherings" they hosted. Women created new opportunities for their husbands through such "dinner functions", where her success directly influenced his success.

In short, nothing like today. Sure, women have gained greater freedom than those socially-oppressive days when such behavior was the only creative outlet for women. But at what cost to them and their families?

True, a cookbook like that showed an unrealistic ideal that most families never achieved. But are today's ideals for women any more unrealistic? Women are supposed to take on the same professional work load as their husbands as well as everything else. It makes me wonder how much more their home-life and their families suffer when today's unrealistic ideals aren't achieved any more than those of the past.

Especially when there's so much increased promotion of abominations like "Hamburger Helper and (worse) "Did Somebody Say McDonald's" as the solution to the thoroughly modern, busy family's dining.

Realizing that there was actually an era when women prepared something like Poulet à la Toulousaine for their families makes me realize they've lost at home more than they've gained in the workplace.

Sorry for the delay in responding to your usual perceptive comments. Gourmet dishes aside (my own stay-at-home mom never cooked anything more exotic than chicken chop suey), I think you're right on the money in lamenting the loss of something very precious. This is, however, such a complex issue that I find it impossible to lay down a set of rules that I'm comfortable applying to anyone else's situation.

But, I can't think of any situation which can't be improved by parents who spend more time with their kids...whether over Happy Meals or Chicken Kiev (which the kids won't eat anyway!).