Van Helsing: What a Mess!
Category: Movies...
Posted Saturday, May 22, 2004 at 04:17 PM [GMT-6]

Two movies in two days...don't even mention popcorn to me for at least, um, a week.

Anyhoo, we finally saw "Van Helsing" this afternoon. It was nice to avoid Shrekmania, but that was the best thing about the movie. I'm trying to recall a more disjointed, can't-decide-what-it-wants-to-be-when-it-grows-up film. Is it a comedy? Is it a horror flick? Is it a romantic swash-buckler? Is it a blatant rip-off of "Aliens"? Answers: not intentionally; rarely; oh puh-lease; whatever would even bring that to my mind?

And to top it off, every time Frankenstein appeared onscreen, all I could think of was Peter Boyle.

[It took me awhile but I finally put a name to the actor playing Igor: Kevin J. O'Connor, the irritating sidekick-turned-beetle-mousse in "The Mummy."]

Permalink
Comments

Two other notables:

Carl (Van Helsing's sidekick monk) was played by David Wenham who also played Faramir in the LOTR series.

Richard Roxburgh (Dracula) played the evil Duke in Moulin Rouge.

In case they, too, looked familiar...that is why.

Posted by: Natalie at May 22, 2004 06:21 PM

The monk DID look familiar, but I never placed him as Faramir, although I see that now.

But I would never have guessed that Dracula was the smarmy guy in Moulin Rouge. I was too focused on his horrible accent.

Posted by: Eric at May 22, 2004 10:04 PM

It's a sad and sorry time when vampire movies are classified by how bad they are.

In case you're wondering, Underworld is worse.

IMHO, there hasn't been a good vampire movie made since "Bram Stoker's Dracula" (or, if I'm feeling charitable, "Interview With A Vampire").

Posted by: Mr. Freen at May 23, 2004 03:51 PM

Thank you for confirming my suspicions. I was interested in this movie for about two weeks, after thinking it would stink upon hearing of it. Once those two weeks were up, I decided it probably did stink and that I wouldn't see it. Given what I'm hearing about it, I think I made the right choice.

Posted by: Jared at May 23, 2004 09:23 PM

Mr. Freen, I think the best vampire movie of all time was actually a TV mini-series: "Salem's Lot."

I also liked Roman Polanski's "The Vampire Killers," although it's been literally decades since I saw it.

And, I don't mind admitting to a certain secret pleasure in Wesley Snipes and the "Blade" series.

Posted by: Eric at May 23, 2004 10:17 PM

Jared, it's definitely rental material (and I suspect you won't have to wait too long...the studio really needs something to recoup the costs.

Posted by: Eric at May 23, 2004 10:17 PM

)

I'm obsessive-compulsive like that, you know.

Posted by: Eric at May 23, 2004 10:18 PM
Post a comment [Take your time...we're in no hurry.]
Note: You must provide either a website URL or an email address...but there's no rule that says you have to tell the truth. If you don't want your email address published on this site, just input a website URL, or make up an email address.









Remember personal info?