King Arthur
Category: Movies...
Posted Saturday, July 10, 2004 at 07:20 PM [GMT-6]

MLB and I caught a matinee showing of "King Arthur" this afternoon. The reviews we'd read hadn't been exactly glowing, so we didn't go in with high expectations. As a result, we were pleasantly surprised, enjoying a very interesting and entertaining telling of a familiar story from an unfamiliar perspective.

This movie won't win any Oscars, but it's not as bad as some reviewers have made it out to be. I didn't think the plot was a mess, and the subplot of the papal influence emanating from Rome was a variation on the King Arthur story that I'd never before heard.

As usual, here are a few of my less insightful observations about this movie, with no spoilers:

• That wise philosopher and world-traveler, Roy O'Bannon once commented about England, "this country blows," because of the inclement weather (among other things). "King Arthur" does a great job of reinforcing that climatological perception.


• Keira Knightley, the new Wynona Ryder (hopefully with less sticky fingers) will undoubtedly win the award for Most Obviously Uncomfortable Costume in a Supporting (heh) Role. But, she makes a most fetching Woad.


• Unlike in most King Arthur-era movies, there's no glamorization of the lifestyle. There's no shining armor, but there's lots of stringy hair and sleeping on the ground. Actually, the group reminds me more of the (anti)heroes in movies like "The Wild Bunch" or "The Dirty Dozen."


• Remember the over-the-top portrayal of Merlin by Nicol Williamson in Excalibur? From that perspective, Stephen Dillane's character in "King Arthur" is the anti-Merlin. He looks (and acts, at time) more like a homeless guy from Houston than a great wizard.


• Some people will disagree, but the remarkable absence of gore didn't hurt the movie, in my opinion. The violence was mostly implied, making the PG-13 rating pretty accurate. If you're hoping for decapitations and disembowelments, you'll have to wait for "AVP."


• The characters' accents were all over the map, which was a bit disconcerting. Stellan Skarsgård played the head Saxon -- the baaaaaad guy. Stellan is Swedish, but I swear his accent was Californian. His son sounded Transylvanian. Guinevere/Keira had a very refined British accent for a Woad; the rest of the Woads spoke some sort of unintelligible dialect.


• Boy, for denizens of the Dark Ages, most of those folks sure had purty teeth!

I'd still give "King Arthur" three ants (out of five).