Got just what you need, Eric!

Here's a handy guide to choosing just the right type of spider killer.

These days, it's more than just deciding between wood and aluminum. You have to factor in your age, weight, height, and the maximum likely size of the attacking spider. Yes, attacking spider. There's some sense to Florida's Castle Doctrine. It's a (now) legally justified presumption that a spider who forcibly enters or intrudes into your home or occupied vehicle is there to cause death or great bodily harm, therefore a person may use any manner of force, including deadly force, against that spider.

One of the small compensations of Yankee-land is that the bitter winters keeps arachnoid sizes down to that of half-dollar at the most. A good wire (not plastic) handled fly swatter takes care of them nicely.

I dread to think of places where the spiders are dish sized and swatting them simply makes 'em angry. There are scorpions down there, too, yes? *shudder*

Now, you are hard on our good friends, the spirders.

A recent statistic said no human is ever more than 3 feet from a spider. They're everywhere, They're everywhere.

My wife hates the fact that I like spiders. They eat bugs. I don't mind the webs. A couple weeks ago I was sitting in Gene world headquarters typing away on when like Miss Muffett a spider rappelled down from the ceiling and landed on my keyboard.

That was enough of that. I dispatched him and all his friends who had mistaken my tolerance for invitation.

But living in the frozen north (except in summer) our spiders are pretty insignificant compared to some I have seen in the south. Yellow Wolf spiders. Yikes.

Doesn't Lowes have something for that?

Here's a handy guide to choosing just the right type of spider killer.

While I'm not above using a brute force method, I much prefer chemical warfare.

And, yes, we do have scorpions to deal with. Fortunately, our neighborhood has very little new construction to disrupt their natural habitat and drive them indoors. The newer sections of town aren't so lucky.

Gene, I'm glad to see that your "tolerance" has reasonable limits, although I would argue that you've really carried your policy of live-and-let-live a bit too far. I trust you've learned a valuable lesson about preemptive strikes.

Ugh. Spiders. I HATE them. There was the time my daughter and I were jumping up and down screaming "Arachnia" and my young son rolled his eyes and stepped on it for us. I think that's when he lost all respect for us "girls"!

But since this blog comes from West Texas I have to share the story of my friend's niece who was living in Texas at the time.

She was sleeping when a torrential downpour occurred. She was awakened by something crawling on her and when she turned on her nightstand light she saw that her bed and bedroom were covered in tarantulas.

She became hysterical and ran from her house out into the pouring rain. She showed up at her friend's house dripping wet and incoherent.

By the time she got calmed down and her friend figured out what was going on, the rain had stopped. Of course, when her friend went to her house the tarantuals had all gone back from whence they came.

Needless to say, she never entered her house again and her friends had to pack her things to take to her new abode.

My friend says her niece has never been the same since.

You know, normally I'd place such a story firmly in the category of "Spiders; Urban Legends" but given my tendency to believe the absolute worst about those eight legged freaks, I'll buy this one, hook, line and sinker.

Oh, and thanks for ensuring that I won't have a good night's sleep for the next six months or so! ;-)