"But, really, are we that dumb?"

Smart companies aren't taking any chances when it comes to human stupidity. Besides, it's not just the stupid consumers that sue, it's the dishonest ones. It's people like Anna Ayala who falsely claimed she found a finger in her Wendy's chili. The woman made a career of filing claims trying to score a settlement. Even worse, she'd had some previous success.

Then there's the group of obese teens suing McDonald's because the food "made" them fat

Everyone is looking for an excuse to sue and cash in. People like them are the reason everything has a warning and why legitimate injury claims are looked at with suspicion and derision.

That's why a company has to explain that the laptop isn't included in an ad for a laptop security product. They don't want to get sued for "breach of contract" or whatnot. If sued, it will be cheaper for a company to settle and buy the plaintiff the laptop of their dreams rather than fight and probably lose in court.

One of the real problems in our society isn't the morons or the hustlers filing the suits, or the ambulance chasers who represent them, it's the morons who end up in the jury box. The "reasonable person" doctrine seems to be lost on Mr. and Mrs. Dumbed Down America.

Could a reasonable person expect to drive around with a cup of hot coffee in their lap without burning themselves?

The jury said yes and awarded the plaintiff millions. It was McDonalds' fault the coffee was too hot, not the unsafe handling of the moron who bought it.

Could a reasonable person expect to eat greasy fast food and stay Kate Moss thin?

Could a reasonable person expect to get a fully functional laptop for $6.99 because one was shown in an ad selling a laptop security kit?

Companies are afraid another jury will say yes.

Yeah, the jury thing is really puzzling to me. Do those people believe that perhaps someday they'll be the recipient of such largesse? Do they not understand that, ultimately, they're awarded that money out of their own dang pockets?

Well, I could correct this in the original comment but I'm too lazy to do the rebuild. awarded should be awarding.

I have to contribute my current favorite warning. It's from the bottom of a molded plastic stepstool we keep in the bathroom so the kids can reach the sink. It says...

WARNING! Never leave a child unattended. Do not use as a car seat, booster seat, bath seat or any other function. Use on a flat surface only.

"...any other function."

So, it's decorative, then?

Brian, that's classic CYA language! I'll bet the company's lawyers were high-fiving each other for days after they drafted that jewel. ;-)