"I'm also thinking about converting to the "straight lacing pattern" (keep those comments to yourself) so that, like the Army, I can cut my laces with one swipe of my knife if I'm ever injured, like when I get distracted by a baby squirrel and fall off the back of the treadmill."

Or when you're attacked by lawn furniture during a night mission into the backyard. :-)

Or when you're attacked by lawn furniture during a night mission into the backyard. :-)

Oh, you just had to bring that up, didn't you?

Well, for your information, the night that happened, I was wearing thong sandals. So there.

It's that elite squirrel tactical team in the elm, isn't it?

It's always a bad idea staging an op without adequate fire team support.

The only way you can slice through your laces with one swipe is if you have the right knife.

Here at Freen's Militaria, we gotcha covered. You need a Strider combat knife. With all that extra cord wrapping on the handle, you'll have plenty to re-lace your boots as well!

Just to play it safe, make sure you pick up one of their Combat Shroud Cutters as a back-up unit.

It also comes in handy for slicing open those pesky netting bags in the produce section. There isn't grocery clerk who'll dare say a peep when you decide to select your own oranges!

Hmm, I actually tried googling into your site without much success. Who knew there was so much to know about linear shoe lacing? This is exactly the kind of information that keeps your readers coming back for more. :-)

Eric,
You have given this topic way too much thought.

Oh BTW - "I was wearing thong sandals"
thank goodness they were sandals, you could have scared off the squirrels permantly.

Mr. Freen, as always, your suggestions are both practical and scary. ;-)

Gwynne, I know what my readers expect, and I'll do my best not to disappoint them!

And, Shannon...you're jumping to a bit of a conclusion there, aren't you? I didn't say I was wearing anything else but those sandals, did I? ;-)

Okay, you guys are scaring me.