The Gazette's Store Reopens!
After an extended hiatus for reasons best left unexamined, the Fire Ant Gazette's CafePress store is once again open for business*...just in time for Valentine's Day! Now every member of the family -- including the dog! -- can snarf up some of that Gazette mystique and stride proudly and boldly through any trailer park in the country.
Did I mention that your canine compadres can get in on the Fire Ant craze that's literally sweeping the nation? Take a gander at this little gem:
Now, I'm not saying that Abbye would actually be caught dead in one of these shirts. She's more the basic black shift with a string of pearls type of pooch, but not everyone's so hoity-toity.
All merchandise sports the official Classic® Fire™ Ant© logo (mainly because I'm too lazy to update it). And all proceeds are guaranteed to go toward either that operation I've been saving up for or the first 12-pack of Black Cherry Fresca I run across.
Anyhoo, feel free to browse through the store for the ultimate in conspicuous consumption gear. And stay tuned...black t-shirts are on their way! Awesome, d00d!
*In case you're wondering if the store violates the terms of my charter membership in the Coalition of Unpaid Bloggers, rest assured that if sales from the reopened store were to increase by 1,000% over the previous performance, the profits still wouldn't cover hosting for this here blog.
Why, thank you kindly, Complete Stranger Giving A Sincere Unsolicited Testimonial. It's heartwarming to see how the Gazette's products can literally change lives for the better.
[Now, tell me again where I send your check?]
Posted by: Eric at January 27, 2006 06:00 PMWe too would like to add our kudo's to this fine family of products.....though we have never actually purchased one. My wife, The Bride, won a lovely and gracious FireAntŠ tile in a Big Contest last year.....I think it was for identifying an album cover as, The Beatles, Rubber Soul.
We were wondering if you are going to be adding a genuine ant farm soon?
Posted by: Wallace-Midland, Texas at January 27, 2006 07:47 PMWe were wondering if you are going to be adding a genuine ant farm soon?
I'm still in negotiations with PETA.
Posted by: Eric at January 27, 2006 08:24 PMI didn't purchase my fine TFAG coaster, but I sure luv it. :wink:
Black Cherry Fresca: dang, but that stuff is hard to find in any form, although I'm able to snag the occasional 12-pack. Peach, too. It's the 2-liters that are going extinct. Frustrating!
Posted by: jen at January 28, 2006 02:47 PMGlad you're enjoying your coaster. I was sorta hoping that you and Beau would register at the Gazette's store before your wedding, so you could get a whole set of mugs and coasters, but I guess that slipped your mind. ;-)
We can find Black Cherry Fresca only at Albertson's. The peach flavor is good, but we like the cherry better.
Posted by: Eric at January 28, 2006 04:00 PM***ATTENTION SHOPPERS***
We will match or beat any price posted at the FireAnt Gazette store. Just visit Gold Dog Goodies, a division of Wal-Mart and email your receipt from FireAnt to us.
Posted by: Wallace-Midland, Texas at January 29, 2006 02:17 PMHaw. The joke's on you, Wallace, for thinking that anyone's actually reading this!
Posted by: Eric at January 29, 2006 04:04 PMAbout the publisher
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Dear sir or madam,
I just wanted to take a moment to write you a letter, to tell you how happy I have been with the Fire Ant Gazette coffee mug I purchased through the Cafe Press store.
It has met and exceeded, in every way, the expectations I had at the time of purchase. I swear, it makes my day-old, reheated coffee from the Rip 'n' Off convenience store taste like a freshly-brewed cup of Starbucks' finest roast.
The next time I go shopping for the accessories I need for my demanding lifestyle, I shall look for the Fire Ant Gazette brand. And, you can be sure I'll tell all my friends.
Sincerely yours,
Jeff McDonald, Web Editor
Posted by: Jeff at January 27, 2006 05:55 PMwww.newswest9.com
Midland, Texas