The Somnolence of the Cams
I've logged hundreds of hours behind a TV camera in my role as volunteer operator at church, but yesterday's experience during the morning worship service was a new one.
Here's the set up. Normally, we have four cameras, with the signal from each running through a control board which allows the control room to specify which images will appear on-screen at any given time. I've always taken that control panel for granted, never contemplating what might happen if it ever stopped functioning, because, after all, it never had. Until yesterday morning.
Like any well-designed piece of electrical equipment, the board has a fuse meant to protect it from damaging power surges. Yesterday morning, the fuse picked a particularly uncomfortable time for self-emolation, as it did so while my camera was on the air.
That meant that instead of having three other camera shots to choose from, the control room was limited to whatever my lens was pointed toward. And instead of switching shots every 10-15 seconds...I was it.
This wouldn't have been so bad if it had happened during the sermon, when we change shots much less frequently (we've yet to adopt an MTV-style for that part of the service, although I'm sure that's on the horizon). But we were still in the music part of the service and we just happened to have an edgier-than-usual (shall we say?) praise band on the platform. The result was that they were rockin' out and I was doing these slow-motion pans and zooms and pull-outs more appropriate to the Lawrence Welk Show (which, for you kiddos out there, was a dark ages "musical variety show" transmitted via smoke signals and wherein the band played instruments made of mammoth tusks while ladies in evening gowns made from sabre-tooth skins danced a primitive jig known as a "polka.").
The situation lasted only about five minutes, but it seemed like an eternity. Perhaps it needs to be added to an updated map of the levels of hell: "Camera operator forced to do an eternity of slo-mo pans while listening to polkas."
I loved Lawrence Welk. I used to watch with my Nana. Now when I see reruns I can even smell the 'nilla wafers and cherry ice cream we'd have as a special treat while it was on.
I definitely think you needed to have champagne bubbles.
Posted by: beth at May 8, 2006 11:08 AMIt's a Baptist church? Whaddaya think? ;-)
Posted by: Eric at May 8, 2006 11:11 AMWhaddaya think?
Non-alcoholic champagne bubbles. ;-)
Posted by: Gwynne at May 8, 2006 12:50 PMYou're not a Southern Baptist, are you, Gwynne? If you were, you'd know why that wouldn't work, because someone might still think it's the real thing, which is almost worse than it being so. ;-)
Posted by: Eric at May 8, 2006 01:01 PMOh, this just makes me want to go into a Southern Baptist church with a bunch of sparkling apple cider and cut loose. Maybe just drink it straight out of the bottle, wrapped in a brown paper bag. No, you're right, not Southern. Just Baptist. Like that tells you anything. ;-)
Posted by: Gwynne at May 8, 2006 07:41 PMOK, my curiosity is piqued. Care to elaborate on your denominational cubbyhole?
Posted by: Eric at May 8, 2006 07:56 PMBaptized as an infant in a Presbyterian church, raised in a spiritual void (sadly), born again in college (non-denominational), baptized again at this church:
http://www.pleasantvalley.org
So you tell me. ;-) I don't get too hung up on the differences between denominations, and honestly, I do not know to which sub-denomination this church belongs. I should probably more rightly say that I am a non-denominational Christian rather than make all the Baptists mad. ;-) I like this church because it is Bible based, conservative and friendly. It's a large church (which tends to make it a seeker-friendly church which also tends to make it "lite" as Beth used the term earlier, but the pastor speaks to my heart and the small groups do a good job of discipleship.
Posted by: Gwynne at May 8, 2006 08:56 PMWell, here's at least one Baptist you won't make mad. Thanks for the enlightenment. I didn't intend for you to share your life's spiritual history, although I'm glad you did. Anyway, it sounds like you're part of a great church with the right set of core beliefs, and that's what matters. "Bible-based, conservative and friendly" covers pretty much all of my priorities...as long as they don't frown on ballroom dancing. ;-)
I'd be interested in knowing how you guys do small groups, if you ever run out of things to post.
Posted by: Eric at May 8, 2006 09:09 PMYou mean, you're looking for a serious post? But if ever I'm to become your apprentice, I thought the goal was to be "content-free." ;-)
Posted by: Gwynne at May 8, 2006 09:21 PMWell, grasshopper, I can see we still have a lot of work to do. For example, you apparently equate "church related post" with "serious post."
Posted by: Eric at May 8, 2006 09:26 PMHow many people do you get at a regular Church service? I'm getting excited to see your Church!
Posted by: Rachel at May 8, 2006 09:46 PMRachel, we generally have around 2,500 people attend on Sunday mornings. But keep in mind that we have three worship services and two Sunday Schools (except we've been told to start referring to them as "Bible Life Groups").
Our early and late worship services are more traditional, while the middle service (the one we attend) is "contemporary" (whatever that means). The middle service is also the best attended. In fact, we're contemplating switching the late service to a contemporary style as well.
We also have two Sunday evening worship services that run simultaneously. One is a very traditional service, and the other is a shorts-sandals-and-ball caps type of "seeker" service. It was the praise band from that service that was leading the music for us yesterday morning.
We're looking forward to sharing our church with you, as well! ;-)
Posted by: Eric at May 8, 2006 10:01 PMWow, thats way bigger than mine hehe. Cool!
Posted by: Rachel at May 9, 2006 08:54 PMAbout the publisher
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Were there champagne bubbles?
Posted by: Gwynne at May 8, 2006 10:45 AM