HBTM
Someone* once said, with respect to blogging, that it's not all about you (the blogger). I've given careful consideration to his words through the years, mining that wisdom to the bedrock, and have come to the conclusion that the person who said that is an idiot. Of course it's all about me. Duh.
And so it is that I'm not just privileged but I'm downright compelled to announce that today's my birthday. However, I'm not completely self-involved, not like Ann Coulter, for example, and so I'm happy to share this occasion with the rest of you who, unfortunately, do not have birthdays today. I'm happy to act as a Birthday Proxy for you, giving you the opportunity to feel the joy of my birthday, without actually getting any of the presents.
In my official self-designated role as your Birthday Proxy, I'm pleased to report that you are hereby entitled to enjoy the knowledge that I am enjoying, on your behalf, the following gifts:
- From MLB, an amazing and wonderful Canon CanoScan 9950F flatbed scanner, the first scanner I've had that will handle negatives and slides. She also gave me a copy of SilverFast AI, a powerful piece of scanner software whose capabilities far exceed mine. The only downside I can see to this whole package is that it comes with an implied assignment of finally digitizing the hundreds of decades-old slides that have been slowly deteriorating in our closet.
- Also from MLB, a new Craftsman cordless screwdriver to replace the one that crapped out six months ago and for which I've been pining ever since. This new one comes with a stupefying array of bits, the completeness of which would make MacGyver -- to borrow a phrase from Mel Brooks -- stand up and salute even as he remains seated.
- From my parents, you will be able to enjoy by proxy the following books:
- King Dork, the book that out Napoleons Napoleon Dynamite;
- Garner's Modern American Usage, raved about by David Foster Wallace; and
- DOM Scripting: Web Design with JavaScript and the Document Object Model, because blogging and reading novels doesn't pay the bills.
- From my father-in-law, a very generous gift Barnes & Noble gift card which will enable you to enjoy by proxy our weekly gathering for coffee and dessert and reading magazines instead of buying them.
So, many thanks to the above folks, as well as to those who have been thoughtful enough to adorn my mailbox with ecards of exquisite taste and decorum -- especially the one about cutting the cheese -- and also my best wishes to you for whom I'm generously providing Birthday Proxy services at absolutely no cost. Enjoy!
*Mea culpa
Happy birthday!
Posted by: jen at June 28, 2006 11:23 AMI am enjoying banana cake for your birthday (er, my birthday, by proxy). Mmmm.
Happy Birthday! :-)
Cake. Dang. I knew I was missing something. Well, I did have a big ol' piece of chocolate cake from Outback, with a couple of scoops of Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla on top for dessert last night. Does that count?
Beth, thanks for the kind sentiments, which made my heart leap and my spirit sore. Soar.
Jen, thanks...I'll also assume you're speaking for two. ;-)
Gwynne, please do enjoy your evil banana cake, and don't worry about all the Giant Killer Spiders that migrated into your kitchen with those nanners. I'm sure they're quite well behaved.
Posted by: Eric at June 28, 2006 11:39 AMWow! I'm enjoying all of those wonderful birthday gifts. Thanks for sharing them.
Happy Birthday! So how are you going to celebrate finally entering your 30's?
Posted by: Jim at June 28, 2006 11:41 AMThanks for sharing them.
My pleasure; that's just the kind of guy I am.
So how are you going to celebrate finally entering your 30's?
Oh, Jim, don't tell me that you subscribe to that theory that IQ shrinks with age! ;-)
Posted by: Eric at June 28, 2006 11:55 AMHappy Birthday! I suppose they know how to celebrate in Midland, even. Enjoy!
Forget the cake. Have some bacon.
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday!!!!
And many many many many more!
Rob, we're still trying to catch up with Lubbock in that regard, but thanks for the wishes. And, by the way, when are you going to unveil the new blog? Hmmm?
Les, thanks. Will fajitas be an acceptable substitute for bacon?
Thanks, Jennifer. The only problem is that I'm reaching the limit of my ability to count as high as the number of my birthdays, so something's gonna have to give...
Posted by: Eric at June 28, 2006 02:31 PMHappy Birthday Eric! Hope you have a great birthday evening (since I missed the morning and arvo (slang for afternoon :)!).
Posted by: Rachel at June 28, 2006 06:28 PMThanks, Rachel (and for the sweet e-card, as well!). Hope you're feeling better...I hate for anyone to be sick on my birthday. ;-)
Posted by: Eric at June 28, 2006 09:26 PMHappy Birthday, old fella!
I see I'm not the only one who uses overpriced coffee as an excuse to not purchase magazines...
Posted by: Brian at June 28, 2006 10:09 PMHappy Birthday, Eric. You DO get interesting presents. YLB sure is good to you, isn't she? So are your folks! What did Abbye get you?
Thanks, Brian. And I'm guessing that the profit margin on the coffee and cheesecake is much greater than for the magazines, so B&N is happy with the trade-off.
Phyllis, there's no doubt that I'm blessed beyond what I deserve. Abbye refuses to acknowledge birthdays.
Posted by: Eric at June 28, 2006 10:23 PMHappy birthday, Eric! Unlike Gwynne, who has banana cake with which to honor your day, I have only a banana. But I'll be thinking of you when I eat it.
On second thought, no I won't. But happy birthday anyway.
Posted by: Foo at June 29, 2006 07:34 AMI made you a chocolate cake this morning, but then remembered someone in my office had a birthday today, so I brought YOUR cake to MY office to share. There's some left over if you want to come up and have some.
BTW - How old are you now? And don't say "a year older than last year".
Posted by: julie at June 29, 2006 09:50 AMOn second thought, no I won't.
Thank goodness. Call me old-fashioned but I'm not in favor of the phrases "thinking of you" and "eating a banana" appearing in the same sentence uttered by a guy.
Julie, it's the thought that counts. Well, not really, but that's what everyone says. But I figure they've all got chocolate cake, so they can get away with saying that.
And don't say "a year older than last year".
Oh, I would never be so disingenuous.
I'm a year younger than I will be next year. ;-)
Posted by: Eric at June 29, 2006 10:37 AMHe's the youngest guy his age that my husband and I know! But his youthful outlook, appearance and health don't hold a birthday candle to HLB!! She's timeless!
Posted by: Phyllis at June 29, 2006 10:38 AMHey, Phyllis...which part of "it's all about me" did you not get? Save the gooshy stuff for MLB's birthday. ;-)
Posted by: Eric at June 29, 2006 10:40 AMHe's Eleventy-One!
Right, Eric? Cause then you get to do the whole disappearing thing with the magic ring...oh...maybe not.
Posted by: beth at June 29, 2006 11:23 AMBeth, my magic ring is in the shop for repairs, and the loaner they gave me serves only to make me look pale and thin.
Oh wait...that's just my usual self. Never mind.
Posted by: Eric at June 29, 2006 12:02 PMI'm a day late, but hope wishing you happiness and more good things to eat and lovely people to share them with!
Posted by: Deb Thompson at June 29, 2006 02:09 PMHey, happy birthday (belatedly)! My big day is tomorrow, so we'll have to celebrate on the 29th someday.
Greetings from Tennessee,
Bret
Posted by: Bret at June 29, 2006 04:14 PMDeb, I like late greetings...it makes the birthday last longer! ;-)
Bret, allow me to wish you a happy birthday a day early, and thus we've restored balance to the universe.
And...how come I have you on my Texas blogroll? I thought you were in Houston. Well, what's done is done. I can't go changing my blogroll just because of some minor geographical snafu. You're simply going to have to relocate to Houston. Sorry about that, but I don't make the rules.
Posted by: Eric at June 29, 2006 04:40 PMI missed it!
Here's to making your birthday longer, then!
Happy Birthday!
And Happy 30th (or whatever)!
Posted by: Denise at June 29, 2006 08:11 PMSomeone once told me I would be late to my own funeral - I sure as heck hope so...
Anyway, this is what I get for being slow to check my favorite buds blogs. (try saying that three times).
Happy Birthday, Eric!
Posted by: Cowtown Pattie at June 29, 2006 08:12 PMThanks, Denise and CP...I appreciate your stopping by!
And, Denise, it's definitely "whatever." ;-)
Posted by: Eric at June 29, 2006 11:05 PMThat was a very enjoyable birthday by proxy; hope it was thrice as much fun for you as it was for me!
Posted by: mis_nomer at June 30, 2006 01:00 AMWhy, thank you very much...not only for the wish, but also for using the word "thrice," which I happen to think is a vastly underutilized adverb!
Posted by: Eric at June 30, 2006 08:28 AMHappy elebenty sebenth (or whatever Dennis the Menace says) Birthday!! Speaking of Dennis - that may be my new nickname for you(or Eric the Menace). Scooter scuffed toes, tripping in an unlit backyard in the middle of blogathon night and if I thought about it more, I'm sure I could think of some more.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO "EtM"
Oh, sure...focus on the negatives, why don't you? What about that time I...well, no that's not a good example. But there's that other time that...um...yeah, that didn't turn out so well, either. Hmm. Never mind.
Posted by: Eric at June 30, 2006 09:34 AMHappy belated birthday from the Stephen and myself!!
Posted by: Janie at June 30, 2006 02:10 PMYou are not mistaken; I am indeed a Houstonian; just posted from the road this last time. I'm back where the air is thick and the temperature hot. Ah!
Posted by: Bret at July 1, 2006 12:35 PMMuchas gracias, Janie!
Bret, I did figure that out when I saw your next post. Hope you had a great trip.
Posted by: Eric at July 1, 2006 03:16 PMOK, so I missed it, but it sounds like it was a happy one. :) Have a great three hundred-something non-birthdays until That Day arrives again. :)
Posted by: Stephen Shores at July 4, 2006 06:11 PMAbout the publisher
Random Abbye photos...
Random Thursday: The Abbreviated Tuesday Political Edition
More rattler than meets the eye
Poop happens. And then disappears.
How the West was Won
Beware of Vampire Dog
Tieing? There's no tieing in gymnastics!
NBC Bungles Web Video
Random Thursday: The Monday Olympics Edition
On Holiday
Random Thursday
Chair Play
Book Review: "The Road"
Education is paramount. Well, next to jet skiing.
Warbirds, Old and New
The Neighborhood:
West Texas Blogs:
[Midland unless otherwise indicated]
Other Texas Blogs:
The Business:
The Church:
The World:
Cake? There was no mention of cake! How do I know if you're enjoying the proper kind of cake for me to get the proper amount of vicarious sugar highs and satiate the appropriate number of chocolate longings. It is chocolate cake you're partaking of for our proxical needs, right?
Many happy returns! Had I but known, I would've endeavored to find something even more amusing than a comment about cutting the cheese...as it is, I must fall back on an old standard that is true on any day, but most especially birthdays:
"Never kiss your honey
when your nose is runny.
You may think it's funny
but it'snot."
Happy birthday! :)
Posted by: beth at June 28, 2006 11:17 AM