Super Bowl 2007: 1st Quarter
Category: Sports (Pro/College/HS)...
Posted Sunday, February 04, 2007 at 05:28 PM [GMT-6]

End of 1st Quarter.

#17 - Go Daddy: sleazy as expected. I saved this one just for them:

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#18 - Coke: computer game, take off on Grand Theft Auto

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The 21st Century Version of Teach the World to Sing.

***

Uh oh. Two Bears down on the ground, one of 'em being Cedric. Turns out they whacked each other. Some teammates.

I don't recall that Benson has ever had a serious injury throughout his high school, college and (short) pro career. Looks like he's OK now, as well. Hope so.

Want to know how you can tell that you don't have much confidence in your QB as a passer? You run on 3rd-and-seven. And you don't make it. Bears kick...more commercials, please.

Ooh, there's David Spade and Patrick Warburton, sitting in the stands, no umbrella. As one of the announcers says, if their new show is a hit, they'll get a suite next time. For now, let 'em soak.

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Oh, hey, did I mention that my wife and I are now hard-core gamer dudez? She bought a Nintendo DS Lite this afternoon, after seeing our pfriend Phyllis's. It's in the charger now. I hoped I don't get lured away from this productive enterprise by the siren song of the schoolboyish software.

I also just made good use of Firefox's awesome "Undo Close Tab" feature. I'll let you guess why.

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Let's see...score is 14-6, Chicago. Cedric Benson's name just got called, but he was just a decoy. Cedric used to play catch in the street in front of our house when he was in high school. His quarterback, Jon Rogers, lived across the street. Pretty impressive, huh?

Bad luck to speak of Benson, as he just fumbled and Indy recovered. My bad.

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Commercial #15 - Chevrolet: Amateurs singing Chevy songs

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Puzzling at first, but gets better as you figure out what it means.

#16 - Bud Lite: ESL class

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Extra points for including the convenience store clerk from My Name is Earl

OK, the Letterman ad featuring Oprah rawked! More, please...

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Two plays, two fumbles, two turnovers. I've seen better football in junior high games. Thomas Jones runs 52 yards, to the Bear's five yard line, to answer Manning's previous long pass.

I gave the Toyota commercial shown below a couple of extra points for believability, by the way, even though it was pretty run-of-the-mill overall. They actually had me believing that truck was about to go over the edge of that canyon.

Uh, Bears score.

#13 - Snickers: mechanics eating candy, accidentally kissing, doing something manly

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Ripping off the chest hair was almost redemptive, but not quite.

#14 - Schick: girl falling off treadmill after seeing clean-shaven guy

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***

It's raining steadily now. In Florida, that is, not in Midland. Wouldn't you just love to have paid $2,000 for a ticket to the game and have to sit behind some guy with a giant umbrella?

Fortunately, the sloppy weather provides a good excuse for the sloppy play.

Ooh. That wasn't sloppy...Manning throws 53 yards for a touchdown. Somebody in the Bears defensive backfield must have fallen down.

Nope, just bad coverage. Indy misses the extra point though, so it's 7-6.

#9 - Toyota Tundra: drive to the edge of the canyon

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#10 - Fed Ex: space station office with weightless workers

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#11 Bud Lite: auctioneer wedding

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By the way, be sure to refresh your browser window when you come back (ha! pretty funny...assuming that anyone will actually be coming back), to get the freshest, bloggiest content possible.

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Da Bears couldn't do anything with the ball after the interception. More

#5 - Sierra Mist: Beard comb-over

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#6 - Salesgenie.com: whatever

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#7 - Sierra Mist: Martial arts class

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Interesting strategy by Sierra Mist, by the way, running two commercials in such close sequence. Too bad they're so forgettable, especially the second one.

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Peyton Manning just proved that if you try something long enough, you'll finally succeed. He succeeded in throwing an interception.

1st commercial: Bud Light - rock, paper, scissors, with a real rock

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2nd commercial: Doritos, amateur submission (live the flavor)

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3rd commercial: Blockbuster "click and drag the [live] mouse"

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Sure, it was the eight kickoff return for a touchdown in SB history, but I was referring to the opening kickoff. Bet it was the first.

In case you're wondering, here's how this is going to work. Instead of creating new posts for each report, I'm just going to have one per quarter and update it throughout the quarter. Look for the triple stars to delineate each entry.

The Bears have a sixteen year old playing on defense, judging by the photos introducing the starters. I didn't realize that. Surely there's a law against that.

***

OK, we're off to a less-than-auspicious start, as I missed the singing of the National Anthem, choosing instead to accompany MLB on Abbye's afternoon walk. It's a beautiful day here, by the way.

Here's the kick off...

...and it's a touchdown for da Bears! OK, first time in Super Bowl history?