Naming of the Screw: Your Ideas Wanted!
Today was our friend Tommy's birthday, and a bunch of us gathered at a local Tex-Mex eatery to celebrate the occasion. As you may recall, Tommy is the guy whose skiing career met a tragic end at Lake Tahoe this time last year. Enough time has passed that we can laugh about it -- sort of -- and one of his gifts from his wife was a block of clear acrylic encasing four of the long and nasty-looking stainless steel screws that helped hold together the shattered bones of his leg up until a few months ago (he's still equipped with a half dozen or so more, plus a steel plate).
It's actually a pretty cool monument, but it's lacking something -- an inscription. She intentionally left the block unengraved, wanting to wait for just the right words. And so I figured, who better to come up with "just the right words" than -- you guessed it -- the intelligent, witty, literate, and occasionally irreverent readers of the Gazette!
So, here's your challenge: come up with some ideas to present to Tommy for inscriptions on his big block o'screws. I'm sure he'll appreciate your offerings, even if he elects to ignore them.
And, lest you're already going there, "Screwed in Lake Tahoe - 2006" has already been offered (and rejected).
Leave your ideas in the comments and I'll make sure he sees 'em. Thanks!
Update: Below is a photo of the screws, provided by Tommy's wife, for your inspiration. The bottom three are self-tapping and hollow. Very interesting, from an engineering perspective.
Steering clear of the obvious frat boy humor is more difficult than it should be (especially for a middle aged woman). My submissions (hey, it's tax season, cut me some slack). ;-)
- There's more where these came from
- I went skiing in Tahoe and all I got were these stupid screws
- That was ex-screw-ciating!
- Watch out for that treeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Posted by: Gwynne at March 6, 2007 11:42 PM
Bret, Gwynne -- you've come up with some great suggestions! In fact, I'm thinking about having orthopedic surgery myself, just so I can have my own acrylic block and use some of your phrases!
I'm sort of partial to "Heavenly Metal," by the way. Wonderfully appropriate pun.
Posted by: Eric at March 7, 2007 08:21 AM1 - 2 - 3 - 4, What the heck am I limping for?
DIY Terminator Kit
Posted by: Kelly at March 7, 2007 09:18 AMOkay - my two suggestions:
Tree - 1; Tommy - 0
Or - depending on how talented the engraver is:
a pair of skis inside a circle with a slash through it: the universal sign for "NO"
By the way - if there's a prize involved (and you never indicated there was): my suggestions should carry more "weight" than the others....for obvious reasons!
Posted by: Toni at March 7, 2007 09:31 AMNo particular engraving suggestion, if you are beginning to laugh about it now, someday you may recognize these as a "Heavenly Twist of Fate"
Posted by: Gregg at March 7, 2007 01:54 PM"In case of emergency, please break glass ... er ... leg ... er ... lucite. Yeah, lucite."
(Imagine "glass" and "leg" with a strikethrough...)
Posted by: Brian at March 7, 2007 05:27 PMOn the off chance that Tommy is reading this - H.A.P.P.Y B.I.R.T.H.D.A.Y T.O.M.M.Y! (and hi Toni!)
(I said it slow so that Eric doesn't get confused with that Kiwi accent of mine again hehe).
Posted by: Rach at March 8, 2007 03:32 AMAbout the publisher
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I've been on the runs (but not between them; I know my limits) you described -- in fact, was on them just a couple months before you guys were last season. I hope his leg has healed beyond the initial dim expectations.
On to the contest! Let's see:
- Heavenly Hath No Fury Like a Stump Scorned?
- Heavenly Metal?
- "Step Over Here for a Hand Search, Sir?"
- The Re-fab Four?
- Quadrofibia? (You know, the rock opera after Tommy? Never mind...)
- Who Needs Doppler?
- I'm Saving These for the Guy on the Lift Who Was Laughing?
- What Happens in Tahoe, Stays on your Deductible?
- It Could Have Been Nails?
Yep, I got nothin'...
Posted by: Bret at March 6, 2007 10:43 PM