Movie Review: "300"
Category: Movies...
Posted Saturday, March 24, 2007 at 09:13 PM [GMT-6]

Warning: This post is rife with spoilers. In fact, you can't swing a dead Spartan without hitting a spoiler.

I keep waiting for Jeff's review of 300, but perhaps "Wow!" is sufficient to express everything he feels need to be said. I'm not sure I'd argue with that, either.

Rather than rehashing the movie's plot and its cinematic brilliance and genre-busting busting of genres, please indulge me the creation of a simple list of observations.

• The non-warring Spartans had weird tan lines. Their heads were tan, as were their necks, but their shoulders and chests were white. Perhaps they just broke out the v-neck togas for special staying-at-home-from-war occasions.


• A lot of Spartans seemed to have Scottish accents. Who knew?


• Lena Headey should smack the screenwriter(s) for making her Queen Gorgo -- a particularly unappealing name, by the way -- such an inconsistent character. One moment she's the perfect example of the strength and confidence one would expect from the first lady of Sparta; the next, she's weak, submissive, and willing to sacrifice her honor for political gain. Very odd. But when she's gets her groove back, she completely redeems those weak moments.


• Every now and then, I thought I'd fallen asleep and awakened in the middle of Gladiator. What is it about wheat fields and blowing pollen that is so apparently irresistible to directors of movies of this genre? There were also a lot of closeups of dirty feet.


• The violence wasn't as abhorrent as I had feared (one reason why I delayed in seeing the movie). If you can make it through Saving Private Ryan, you can make it through this. I suppose that war movies should naturally get a pass on the violence issue. The bad stuff was much more gratuitous and thus offensive (to me, anyway) in the previous Frank Miller screen adaptation, Sin City.


• Gollum really bulked up for his appearance in this movie, by the way.


• I never figured out how the captain's son could exhibit reflexes in battle that were practically clairvoyant, and yet couldn't hear and react to a galloping horse quickly enough to keep from being separated from his head. And didn't any of the onlookers -- including his father -- ever think it might be helpful to shout a warning, seeing as how they were looking right at the enemy warrior?


• The captain's breakdown following that turn of events seemed completely out of character for a Spartan.


• Some people are taking the movie way too seriously.


• Grindhouse will, judging solely by the trailer, be this year's Sin City.

OK, despite my lighthearted jabs at some of the details of the movie, I do agree with Jeff's assessment. This is a powerful, beautifully made film, and kudos go out to the director and producers for not casting The Rock or Vin Diesel or even what's-his-face -- the phone throwing guy -- in the movie.