Political Ills
April 11 (AP) - Washington, D.C. -- Actor, former Senator, and potential presidential candidate Fred Thompson revealed today that he's been diagnosed with lymphoma. That revelation, coupled with the announcement that the wife of candidate John Edwards was suffering from a recurrence of breast cancer, has the other candidates scrambling to get on the personal health crisis bandwagon.
In a hastily called news conference just before noon, Democratic hopeful Barack Obama disclosed that he's been suffering from dengue fever and malaria, although, as he put it, "it's the good kind and won't really affect my plans."
The other Democratic front runner, Hillary Rodham Clinton, staged her own press conference, expressing a desire that the American people understand very clearly that she, also, was a sick woman, having been diagnosed with chronic phlebitis. Then, adopting her now-famous faux Southern accent she revealed that she "is pretty sure she has a tapeworm the size of a garden hose." Senator Clinton also stated that she's been suffering from headaches for years, a fact quickly confirmed by her husband, former president Bill Clinton.
On the Republican side, Senator John McCain derided his opponents for what he termed "johnny-come-lately whiners," pointing out that he's had non-working body parts for longer than some of them have been alive.
The other leading Republican candidates, Rudy Guiliani and Mitt Romney, had no official comments but their campaign spokesmen confirmed that each was consulting with top physicians to identify what was wrong with them.
In a related announcement, the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta, Georgia today released the findings of a study about the health effects of presidential campaigns. That study concluded that there was no correlation between the illnesses of candidates and their campaigns. However, the findings weren't so clearcut with regard to the voters.
Technorati tags: Fred Thompson | Campaigns make me queasy
Six months is still four months too long.
Posted by: Eric at April 11, 2007 08:08 PMHmm...with only 2 months of campaigning they might have to focus on issues or something. Then we'd be informed voters and there'd be no mud slinging. That just would not do. :)
Posted by: beth at April 11, 2007 08:32 PMthey might have to focus on issues or something
Oh, now that's just crazy talk!
Posted by: Eric at April 11, 2007 08:34 PMIt's always a contest. "I'm sicker than you are". Can't wait for one to come up with herpes to see how many jump on that bandwagon.
Posted by: bob at April 11, 2007 09:52 PMHilarious!! We think most of the candidates suffer from an excessive amount of gas as well.
Posted by: Mark & Becky at April 11, 2007 10:24 PM***snorts ice cold water through nose at 11:31 pm***
wide awake now.
thank you very much.
Posted by: Janie at April 11, 2007 11:32 PMMy interest was picqued when I saw that Thompson was getting into the fray.
But I'm not so sure that I see the logic in his announcement. He's effectively saying, "I'm an especially viable candidate to run this fine country of ours since my focus will no doubt be divided between the country's needs and my own failing health."
Seems like this'd be the kind of thing a presidential candidate would want to conceal or downplay rather than trumpet.
Posted by: Rob O. at April 12, 2007 02:53 AMRob, I think Thompson's announcement falls into the "the best defense is a good offense" category. Things like this should be revealed on your own terms, not on those of your opponents.
Janie, I apologize for inducing insomnia. My posts usually have just the opposite effect.
Mark, as a physician, your diagnosis carries extra weight. Don't be surprised if a few candidates show up on your doorstep wanting your endorsement!
Bob, I'm sure there's a great untapped STD constituency out there just waiting for a poster candidate. ;-)
Posted by: Eric at April 12, 2007 08:20 AM"Senator Clinton also stated that she's been suffering from headaches for years, a fact quickly confirmed by her husband, former president Bill Clinton."
This is the point at which I had to stop and check the posting date. Noting that the day has two 1s—not one, as I half expected—I continued reading in the context of a straight news article.
Which, of course, makes the quote that much funnier.
Posted by: Foo at April 12, 2007 10:45 AMP.S...
"the best defense is a good offense"
I find more than a few of the candidates rather offensive, so you must be right. Er... correct.
Posted by: Foo at April 12, 2007 11:30 AMI wish Sen. Fred well -- somebody's gotta be out there for me to vote for! :)
Posted by: Patti at April 12, 2007 01:35 PMPatti, I wish him well, too, whether or not he's my candidate. Same for Elizabeth Edwards.
Oh, and for you, as well...and even more so, actually. ;-)
Posted by: Eric at April 12, 2007 03:05 PMAbout the publisher
Random Abbye photos...
Reason #21 to wear shoes in West Texas
From my rooftop, I can see my own mortality
The USPS: We're now 27% more efficient at mangling your mail!
My Favorite Yard Work
Review: The Amazon Kindle
Personal Library Exploration Continues
Tech Support That's Out of This World
Flower and Butterfly
The Season's First Roundup
Recording History
Want a Healthier Mind? Fuggedaboutit!
Redefining a Bust
Thank you...
Farewell to Abbye
The Neighborhood:
West Texas Blogs:
[Midland unless otherwise indicated]
Other Texas Blogs:
The Business:
The Church:
The World:
While I wish no candidate ill, or illness, I dream of campaign finance reform that would set the start date for all campaigning at 6 months prior to the election.
Barring that, I'll just join John the Revelator in saying, "Even so, come, Lord Jesus."
Posted by: Kelly at April 11, 2007 04:48 PM