Spidey Friday: A Non-Review
Category: Movies...
Posted Friday, May 18, 2007 at 08:50 PM [GMT-6]

[The post title really is a rhyme if you say it fast enough, and with a mouth full of popcorn.]

This isn't a review of Spiderman 3, just a few irrelevant observations. However, a couple of them are seriously spoilerish, in case you haven't seen the movie but intend to.

  • I'm have increasing difficulty distinguishing between Peter Parker and Frodo Baggins. They both cry a lot.* Fortunately, Frodo has hairy feet.

  • And speaking of feet, who knew that Spiderman wore stirrup pants? What a revelation. And not even broad, manly ones, but narrow sissy ones. The stirrups, that is. Well, I guess the pants as well, given that they're spandex.

  • I was fascinated by the prowess of the animators who brought the Sandman to life. I'm pretty jaded when it comes to special effects, but that was awesome.

  • But what was up with the black alien gel? It could travel across space, take control over other lifeforms, rendering them superhuman – but it couldn't withstand some common harmonic frequencies? Next thing you know, they'll be making movies about aliens who invade earth only to die of head colds. Oh wait...
  • I actually preferred Goth Dork Spidey to Whitebread Dork Spidey, even with the eyeliner.

  • However, the dance scene in the jazz club – although undeniably cool – reminded me of Jim Carrey in The Mask.

  • J.J. Jameson cracks me up.

*This observation was affirmed by Robert, who with wife Sherry sat in the row behind us and smooched during the slow parts (of which there were too many, although probably not for Robert and Sherry). Sherry thanked me after the movie for giving Robert the idea of taking the afternoon off and catching a movie (oops! I guess your boss wasn't supposed to know that, huh?). I guess I'm going have to start charging a consulting fee.

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Comments

I like the idea of an afternoon off, spent at the movies .... any of y' scurvy dogs want to shanghaii the cinema next week for POTC3?

Posted by: Jeff at May 20, 2007 07:08 AM

Unfortunately, the next two weekends are booked for us -- high school graduation next Saturday, followed by a family reunion. I figure it'll take that long for the crowds to die down, anyway.

Posted by: Eric at May 20, 2007 07:29 AM

At the risk of bringing up something you already knew, the original business with the black Spidey suit wasn't about his inner darkness manifesting itself (I assume, having seen the trailers but not the movie) at all. The black costume came out of Marvel's mostly ridiculous Secret Wars and later turned out to be an alien symbiote, which encouraged Petey's dark side. But it wasn't as if his inner badness just sort of seeped out through his pores and took over.

And, as a means of eradicating invading aliens, Slim Whitman is still my hands down fave.

Posted by: Foo at May 20, 2007 08:30 AM

I'm glad you reminded us of that most excellent plot line in Mars Attacks, a much more entertaining implementation of the "sound as a weapon" tactic.

I'm not a comic book fan, so I had no idea of the origins of the black suit. However, Spidey 3 does stay true to your description of how the symbiotes affected their hosts.

As a cyclist, you'll appreciate this. When I first saw a closeup of the black suit, my thought was, "cool – carbon fiber!"

Posted by: Eric at May 20, 2007 09:01 AM

ZAP! "Come back, we are your friends!" ZAP!

I can't even think about that movie without cracking up.

Posted by: Jim at May 20, 2007 01:33 PM

Rachel, I agree that it wasn't the best of the franchise. It was pretty uneven, and the plot wasn't that compelling. If I was rating it, I'd give it 3 ants (out of 5).

Posted by: Eric at May 20, 2007 09:41 PM
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