Superhuman Predator on TV
Category: Sports (Pro/College/HS)...
Posted Monday, September 17, 2007 at 02:09 PM [GMT-6]

TNT ran Blade and Blade II back-to-back yesterday afternoon. Perhaps you've seen one or both movies. They tell the story of a vampire who can blend in with humans, and whose crusade is to hunt and destroy other vampires. (Don't ask; it's complicated.) The hero has powers that neither humans or vampires can hope to match.

So, I spent the afternoon watching a predator hunt down and destroy his fellow beings, methodically and without pity, demonstrating a prowess that left onlookers speechless. The carnage was both electrifying and heartbreaking.

Yes, that's right. I watched Tiger Woods punk-slap the best golfers in the world into a mopey band of guys with dreadful fashion sense. What he did in winning the Tour Championship and the Fed Ex Cup was too intense for a Discovery Channel nature special. It was as if the NCAA had finally instituted a football championship playoff system, with USC meeting LSU in the final game after four rounds of proving they deserved to be there, and USC wins by 60 points. With the point being, what's the point?

There's an exchange in Joe Versus The Volcano where the incomparable Ossie Davis, playing a limo chauffeur, is responding to Tom Hanks's question about what kinds of clothes he should wear. Davis asks, "what kind of clothes do you have now?" Tom replies, "well, they're like these I'm wearing." Ossie glances in the rearview mirror, smirks, and says "so, you got no clothes."

Years from now, a young boy (or girl) will ask his (or her) grandfather a question. "Grandad, what was your career in the early part of the century?" (Children of the future will be more erudite and better conversationalists.) "Why, child, I was a professional golfer, same time as Tiger Woods." The child will nod and reply sagely, "so, you got no career."