"Cowboy"? Better find another insult, pard.

I was just reading about that French play called "George W. Bush ou le triste cowboy de Dieu" (George W. Bush or God's sad cowboy), how the director was bushwhacked (okie doke...pun intended) a while back and the play was shut down for a spell ("for the protection of the actors") and how it's about to start runnin' agin. Who says the French are lily-white cowards? Not me, that's fer durn sure.

Anyway, I don't rightly understand why them little French guys think calling somebody a cowboy is such a big insult. I reckon none of 'em have ever met a real cowboy. I figgered them little French guys would have a better way with words than that, anyhow. Maybe they're just ashamed of their own insults so they're havin' to borrow words from us. I can understand that. If'n you had to go around all day talkin' like you had a mouthful of snails or somethin' I reckon you'd wish for some good old American words, too.

Anyway, I reckon that if the worst thang folks could call me was cowboy, I'd be pretty dang happy with that monicker. 'Cause here's what being a real cowboy means...

• He don't sit around talkin' about something that needs doin' until it cain't be done...he gits on his horse and he goes and does it.
  
  
• When he tells somebody he's gonna do something, he by gum does it, come hell or high water.
  
  
• There's no friend like a cowboy; he'll tell you when you're wrong, help you make it right, and go to hell and back with you or for you, whichever the situation calls for.
  
  
• He'll go outta his way and three counties over to avoid a fight if'n he sees an honorable way to make peace. But if you back him into a corner — if you mess with his spread or his kin — he won't bring a knife to the gunfight.
  
  
• He don't rightly give a snake's butt what you think a him. If you ain't a cowboy yourself, he understands that you just cain't help yourself.

Yessir, I've known plenty a cowboys in my time, and I wouldn't trade a one of 'em for a whole herd of cheese wranglers. But here's the deal: it ain't too late for them little French guys to come around to the cowboy way. But they're gonna have to show a little backbone first. As my pard Texas Bix Bender is fond a sayin', sometimes courage takes nuthin' more than sittin' down, suckin' it in and listenin'. But, in the end, there's always this, agin from ol' TBB: the bigger the mouth, the better it looks shut.

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Monkey is not a Color

Our local newspaper doesn't carry "Get Fuzzy" and it's a shame, really. Comic strips should be experienced in treeware form; the online versions may be more colorful, but the ambience just isn't there. Anyway, if you're a fan of the strip, you really ought to jump over to Meet The Makers for this interview with Darby Conley, the cartoonist.

Among other things, I learned that

• Café Press handles the promotional products for almost all the major syndicated strips (the "Big 3" being the notable exceptions)...
  
  
• Conley spends 60 hours per week doing the strip (presumably, a week's worth of offerings)...
  
  
• The main syndicates choose 3-5 new strips each year out of about 8,000 submissions.

Oh, and if you act now, you'll receive — absolutely free — a link to this great Alanis Morissette Lyric Generator.

Russian Frustration

I'm far from expert in the area of US-Russian diplomatic wrangling, so this op-ed piece in today's Moscow Times is an eye-opener for me.

The writer's description of Russian military maneuvers during Colin Powell's visit to Moscow earlier this month is just amazing:

While Powell was in Moscow, several Russian strategic bombers --Tu-95 Bears and Tu-160 Blackjacks -- flew from a base in the Volga region to the Indian Ocean to simulate an attack by nuclear-tipped long-range cruise missiles on U.S. Navy ships and the main U.S. air base in the region at Diego Garcia.

The mission by long-range bombers was coordinated with a naval exercise in the Indian Ocean by a large task force of Russian surface ships and nuclear attack submarines (sent to the region before the fall of Saddam Hussein's regime), which simulated attacks on U.S. aircraft carrier groups. The Defense Ministry did not make much of a secret of the purely anti-American nature of the Indian Ocean military exercise and leaked the details to friendly journalists in an apparent attempt to influence foreign policy decision-making.

The reported end of the Cold War was apparently premature, at least in the minds of some of Russia's military leaders:

Under growing public pressure to reform a wasteful Soviet-style military, the generals are desperately trying to retain the United States as their main antagonist, hoping this will result in a drastic growth in defense spending sometime in the future and help keep an extended armed forces structure at present. The apparent victory by pro-Western forces did not change the Defense Ministry's underlying anti-American posture.

Frankly, I figure Russia can wargame until the cows come home and we're not likely to lose much sleep. The rest of the article is actually more disturbing, as it deals with issues that are likely to require our attention, namely the discovery of previously undisclosed uranium enrichment facilities in Iran, and Russia's contracts to provide enriched uranium to fuel the nuclear power reactor now under construction at Bushehr on the Persian Gulf. One possible interpretation of the US position?

In fact, the Bush administration seems to be moving toward sending the Kremlin an ultimatum: End Bushehr or we will bomb it to bits anyway.

Russia suffered real losses in Iraq, both economically and politically. Wonder how much they can afford to lose in Iran?

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The "Buh-bye to Blogger" countdown

I've had it up to here with Blogger, and as soon as I can work out a few things with my webhost, I'm moving (no pun intended) to Movable Type. Let the countdown begin!

Getting smarter by the minute

My copy of Zeldman's designing with web standards (yes, that's the style of the title on the book; if it's good enough for Zeldman, it's good enough for me) arrived in the mail late yesterday. I'm about 35 pages into it, and it's thus far meeting my high expectations. He isn't just an expert in his field; he surveyed, platted, cleared and planted the dang thang. We, the readers, have the privilege of harvesting it.

The best aspect of the book so far? The promise of sheer practicality, rather than blind adherence to standards even when they don't make business sense. Don't get me wrong. We need pathfinders and "early adopters" who are willing and able to build 100% standards-compliant sites without regard to "market issues," but for most of us, that's not the world in which we move.

"Illiterate" Christian Jurors

As a Christian, I am disheartened by this story, where a death penalty handed down in a murder case was thrown out because some of the jury members consulted a Bible during penalty-phase deliberations. But my disappointment comes not from the judge's ruling — as this column points out, "...our courts forbid jurors from considering outside information in criminal trials during deliberations. Legal principles dictate that verdicts be based on the evidence and the law given to jurors by the judge."

No, I'm disappointed because I don't believe that the point at which you've been asked to decide the fate of a man's life is the right time to start considering what the Bible has to say about such an issue. Some on the jury in question were quoted as saying that the Bible forms, in effect, a substantial basis for how they live their lives and how they make important decisions. If that's true, it behooves them to understand more about what the Bible actually says about those things, especially when faced with the very real possibility of having to make a life-or-death decision about them.

I mean, no one gets selected for a capital murder trial without knowing in advance that contemplation of the death penalty is likely. The voire dire process was sorely lacking if this never became an issue, and I'd question the state of consciousness of the prospective jurors if the possibility was described but lost on them. Thus, the "Bible-believing" jurist should have plenty of opportunity to do a little Scriptural research in advance, if he or she is a little unclear on what is found in the Good Book.

If it sounds like I'm being a little hard on these folks, well, maybe I am...and I stand subject to the same criticism I level at them. (Perhaps that's why I can be confident in pointing a finger.) But I tend to believe that too many of us Christians are long on opinion and short on Biblical support for same, and there is no excuse for it. Scriptural illiteracy is all too prevalent; "I think..." is heard too often in place of "God says..." when addressing specific issues of ethics or morality.

No, I absolutely find nothing wrong with people consulting their moral compasses before deciding the fate of a man's life...it's horrifying to think people might not do that. But the time to do that is well before reaching for the voting lever.

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"Maybe we could cross-market it as a defibrillator..."

Electronic giant Toshiba is working on a prototype of a water-cooled notebook computer which it hopes to start marketing late next year. The advantages are that such a design runs more quietly (no fan) and provides the maximum in computing power (processor efficiency isn't lost as heat). There are downsides, however, as the Wall Street Journal reports: "The water adds weight and if it's not assembled correctly it could short-circuit components and even electrocute the computer user." Watch for a new line of rubber clothing from geekwear.

Dublin Core Metadata Element proposal for blogs

More navel-gazing, blogger-style. Since reading den Beste's post which authoritatively stated that "90% of blogs are crap, if not an even higher proportion than that" I've been thinking that we owe it to one another to self-certify our own blogs so that potential visitors can decide whether to waste their time or not. One way to do this is with a new DC Metadata element, which I'll dub "DC.Quality."

The concept is simple. Each of us needs to honestly assess the level of crapiness inherent in our offerings, then reflect this assessment in our source coding, just as we would for Description or Keywords or Language. However, unlike my esteemed colleague (and I'll bet it really frosts him to realize that, indeed, that's what he is, by virtue of the Personal Publishing Revolution®), this is not as simple a proposition as crap/not-crap. We need a little more discernment, I think; a little more objectivity in establishing levels of craptitude. Now, we could use previously established criteria, or we could just collapse in a weepy-eyed heap and admit that, yes, our blogs ARE crap, and for very good, non-statistical reasons.

Rather than post my personal guidelines for assessing the quality of blogs, I challenge each of you to gauge your own work on a scale of 1-100 (with 1 being as good as, say, mine, and 100 as good as, say, someone else's) and let's see where this takes us. Just remember, according to some, only 7.4 (and possibly fewer) of the blogs linked at right are "not-crap." Surely we can do better than this!

Oh, by the way...Mr. den Beste's assertion from May 2, 2003 looks suspiciously similar to this one, from more than a year earlier. I'm afraid quality points must be deducted for originality.

Memorial Day 2003

Another Memorial Day has come and gone, and I have those familiar feelings that I didn't properly observe the occasion. I didn't attend any of the ceremonies, motorcycle cavalcades or services. I didn't spend hours in contemplation with bowed head.

I did fly our flag, and gave brief thought as to why, exactly, I was putting it up for the first time since the declaration that the major combat phase in Iraq was finished. I did watch a 1949 war movie entitled "Battleground," and couldn't help contrasting that depiction of warfare with what I just saw on CNN, et al. And I lingered awhile on the awful irony that as we observed Memorial Day in the comfort of our safety and freedom, American soldiers were still making the ultimate sacrifice.

I don't know personally anyone who lost his or her life in combat. One of my uncles was an x-ray technician in the Army Medical Corps, and he died of cancer at a very early age (early 30s, I believe), and while the link is obvious, he wasn't a direct casualty of combat. My dad was wounded twice in WWII, once via flying shrapnel in Belgium, then later by a German sniper's bullet in France. The latter ended his combat experience (and a buddy ended the sniper's life experience). His arm was saved by a POW German army doctor who apparently provided medical expertise worthy of anything we ever saw on M.A.S.H. My dad is a first generation American; his dad — my grandfather — was an immigrant from Germany. The ironies of war are as huge as killing to preserve life and as small as countrymen arbitrarily divided by battle lines helping each other.

Why recount these events? I'm not sure; I guess it's all I know how to do.

Perhaps this is all many of us can do to honor fallen patriots. Think about what they did, within whatever context is meaningful to each of us, and, where possible, write it down. In doing so, the cumulative thoughts and words will help to ensure that sacrifices in the name of freedom will not be forgotten.

Censored and Political Cartoons

Yikes! Does Lileks know about this?

Speaking of cartoons, there's nothing like a good political cartoon to get your day off right, especially when that cartoon is from, say, 1884. The more things change, the more they stay the same. 120 years back, the Repubican presidential candidate, James Blaine, spoke at a fundraiser in NYC. Here's Harper's Weekly report:

"Blaine spoke on the topic of the Republican role in generating economic prosperity for New York City and the nation. Unfortunately for the candidate, it lent credence to Democratic claims that the Republicans cared only for the interests of the rich, not the working class, whom Blaine had been targeting with his emphasis on the protective tariff.

The cartoon depicts Blaine as the Babylonian king Belshazzar, for whom "the moving finger writ..." as described in the Bible (book of Daniel). Said king kicked the bucket that very evening.

Of course, Blaine ultimately lost the election to the scintillating and charismatic Grover Cleveland.

I suppose Oliver Stone could draw all kinds of meaningful parallels from this episode, but the moral of this story is, in my opinion...nothing. Absolutely nothing. Except to say that "biting" political commentary via cartoons is not a new phenomenon; just take a look at a few aimed at Abraham Lincoln, starting, perhaps, with this one.

And, by the way, isn't is wonderful that the Internet allows the preservation of and, more importantly, access to these sorts of historical and cultural documents?

[Link tip from Metafilter thread]

Real work intervenes...

Please excuse the lack of posts; real work has reared its ugly head, and I've got three new website projects going simultaneously (plus the usual gaggle of maintenance requests). It's a good problem to have, but I hate to neglect the blog.

Just so you won't feel too neglected, here's an interesting website: Warriors of the Net. These guys "create educational material in form of animations and illustrations explaining technical or abstract concepts. Our focus lies in making difficult concepts much easier to understand for the viewer." One of their projects is a 13 minute animated movie — using the steampunk genre — that illustrates how data packets move through the Internet. If you have time for a 73mb MPEG download (121mb for high quality), it's pretty dang cool. (For more info on the movie, visit Mappa Mundi.)

The Heartland responds to Iraq...

...(in a good way)...

The following report just came across the Southern Baptist International Mission Board's newswire (no link available).

FARGO, N.D. (BP) -- When Temple Baptist Church in Fargo, N.D., heard the International Mission Board was sending boxes of food to hungry families in Iraq, they wanted to help. The 100-member congregation decided they could manage to assemble 25 boxes of food.

They never dreamed what God actually had in mind: Community members outside the church responded, donating more food than anyone imagined. The church's initial goal of 25 boxes multiplied into 181.

"God intervened," said James Sabot, development director for South Valley Baptist Association. "I made a few calls to local producers and growers, and they responded generously."

Sabot explained that it's hard to convince producers to help with a giving program because they have so many people and organizations asking for gifts. But when the flour-grinding mill in Grand Forks immediately donated 2,500 lbs. of flour, "that got us going," Sabot said.

Producers and growers donated about 80 percent of the total food count. Monetary gifts used to purchase additional food brought the total to 12,000 pounds of product. "That's over $10,000 worth of food," Sabot said.

Thirty people came out Saturday, May 17, to help pack and load the 181 boxes Temple Baptist and two other Baptist churches in the area donated. The Fargo-Moorhead area of North Dakota numbers 200,000 in population and, while it is a Christian area, it is not heavily Baptist, Sabot commented. "People just wanted to help," he said.

The three local network television stations and the local newspaper were present Saturday and reported on the churches' efforts.

Sabot's request for help went out only about two weeks earlier, and the amazing results followed quickly. Sabot summed up the whole event as an "amazing continuation of God at work."

181 boxes of food may not sound like much in the cosmic scheme of things. But each box will feed a family of five for almost a month, and this scene was multiplied by hundreds of communities across the country. And...guess what...none of the boxes will contain so much as a Bible or a tract. The message? Essentially just this: "from our family to yours."

Mad Cow Disease in Canada

No, this isn't a Scrappleface column. Sadly, it's the real thing. Look for this to be a big story. There aren't many things that would be worse for Alberta, including SARS. Let's hope they can nip this quickly.

Monday Debriefing....

We hit 105° yesterday, beating the previous record by 6 degrees. That's the meteorological equivalent of hitting 85 home runs in a season or running a 3 minute mile. OK, that's an exaggeration and a bad analogy to boot, but you get the picture.


I just heard Matt Laurer open the Today Show by saying that he's reporting live from the Korean DMZ, "the most dangerous place in the world." Hmm. Try telling that to the folks in Rwanda, or southern Sudan. Or to the bus commuters in Tel Aviv.


Headline in today's newspaper: "State health official warns of obesity at A&M graduation." I hope they've adequately reinforced the stage.


Piling on the French...even mainstream cartoonists are getting into the act.


James Lileks dissects the plot of an alien vampire movie and declares it illogical. Still, "Lifeforce" makes "Matrix: Reloaded" look like an algebra textbook. We saw MR on Saturday, in a theater that was half-empty, courtesy, I suppose, of the R rating. It had a promising start — the AT&T commercial featuring the terminally irritating Carrot Top had no sound; the audience sat in stunned gratitude. But the movie itself suffered from the dreaded "sophomore season curse," and I came away mainly wondering if I would contract SARS from the hacking cough of the guy sitting about four seats down on our row. (That's how it starts, you know; just watch "Outbreak," if you don't believe me!) We had been advised to sit through the world's longest sequence of credits in order to see the trailer for MRev, so we did. You can if you want; doing so does offer the advantage of letting the traffic clear a bit before you leave...but not much else.


One of the legislative victims of the Texas Dems' walkout last week was a bill that would give Texans the option of getting a personalized license plate reading "Choose Life." The proceeds from the sale of this plate would go to non-profit organizations who offer counseling about alternatives to abortion. How convenient for the Democrats, who managed to kill lots of birds with one stone (and there's absolutely no pun intended). This bill, however, will almost surely be re-introduced if a special summer legislative session is called.

And, finally...is there such a thing as a generic icon representing a blog? If not, don't you think we need one? You know, a small symbol that can be placed on a web page to indicate a link to a blog? Surely someone can come up with a decent simple graphic that we can adopt across the board.

Friday Inanities

Today's edition of the local newspaper supplied a bounty of subjects to poke fun at, something that's always worthwhile on a Friday afternoon.

Take the following ad, for example. Is it just me, or does this ad for airport parking border on tasteless? Admittedly, Baghdad Bob is a legitimate target for derision, but I think it's just a little early to be appropriating his likeness for commercial purposes. I mean, we still have soldiers in harm's way in Iraq, and the memories of combat are (should be) fresh. Plus, the ad is just not that funny.

"You say tomayto; I say tomahto. You say black; I say, um...blanco?" I think the following ad speaks -- however imprecisely -- for itself:

Ministry use of Internet

"Message and the Media" presentation...

I spent most of the day at the local community college in a seminar for church staff, where the attendees heard from various media reps on how to better utilize the media to communicate their agendas to the public at-large. I was last on the program and right before lunch — never a great position due to schedule creep and hunger-related distractions. We were still pretty much on time, however, when I took the floor and fired up the ol' video projector and...nothing. The Blank Screen of Shattered Expectations.

See, this kind of thing is precisely why I'm a Mac user. The college provided the Windows laptop and video projector and I brought my presentation on disk and loaded before the start of the seminar. We tested it and it worked perfectly. But between that time and my entrance, the projector went into standbye mode, followed by the laptop, and everyone who's ever dealt with that combination knows that only the Holy Breath of Bill Gates can bring them back to life in the proper sequence. (Yes, I was the only speaker on the program using a computerized presentation. It just didn't seem right for me to talk about using technology without, um, using it.)

Fortunately, as a consultant, my life is now based on the mantra of "adaptability - flexibility - instability" so I went on with the show while two (2) tech guys from the college worked furiously to get the picture back on the screen. The presentation made its appearance about halfway through my program, and, frankly, didn't add a heck of lot from that point on. Which is a lesson in itself.

I bring up the Mac only to compare this experience with the one I had last month when I presented a program on blogging at the local Mac users group. We ran an iBook/video projector combination, using a PowerPoint presentation that was converted on the fly to Keynote (which itself had barely climbed out of the beta ooze)...and it performed flawlessly. It. Just. Worked.

Anyway...

Despite these snags, today's presentation went well. I wasn't surprised that almost no one in the audience had a clue about blogging (which I presented as an option for pastors to use to publish regular devotionals, Bible studies, etc. on their churchs' websites). At least one of the pastors came up afterward and proclaimed his intention to research that idea in more detail.

The biggest concerns I heard from the attendees were fears of putting email addresses on websites due to spam, and issues related to privacy. Some churches (usually the smaller ones) are sending out "prayer letters" via email, and those messages often include personal details about members and their families. I expressed my opinion that this is not a good thing to do, if for no other reason than you lose control over email once it leaves your outbox. And, no one had heard of COPPA.

Some churches are well up on the learning curve, but overall, it seems that this group is lagging behind on taking advantage of the technology resources that are now readily available and extremely effective.

Laptops and video projectors excluded, of course.

New links...

The www being the [relatively] small world it is, I got an email today from James McNally, who had stumbled onto my blog via a referer log-instigated ramble. You may recognize James' name from Digital Web magazine, for which he has written a number of articles. He also maintains an excellent blog called Consolation Champs, which I've added to my links at right (under Writers, of course). Drop by and see him, if you haven't already done so.

I also "borrowed" a link from him, to Steve Wozniak's "SEG Stories." As you know, Woz co-founded Apple Computer with that other guy named Steve, and he now spends his time dinking with Photoshop and giving away money and thinking up new technology. He'll even supply you with a .psd file so you can make your own "SEG Story."

Economies of medicine

Update: The strange economies of medicine...

Stephen over at Five Points has an interesting post about a study suggesting that federal programs (and money) should be diverted from convincing people to stop smoking, and re-focused on convincing people to stop eating, um...to lose weight. The premise is that obese people are in poor health but live longer than smokers, putting an added burden on Medicare and Social Security. From a purely economic perspective, smokers are really preferred to obese folks, as the former group's shorter life expectancies place less strain on the country's financial safety nets.

Studies such as this highlight the intricacies of the healthcare ecosystem. A pebble dropped in a remote part of the pond sends out ripples that move throughout the system, causing disruptions in the oddest places.

Take, for example, the new arterial stent that was recently approved by the FDA. This "drug-eluting" stent is similar to those which have been used for years to open, and keep open, clogged arteries. The difference is that the new version is coated with a scar tissue-preventing drug that presumably will significantly decrease the likelihood that stented arteries will close up and require additional surgery. How well does the new stent work? Medicare approved reimbursement for it before the FDA gave it final approval (and it's up to four times as expensive as the old version).

You can already see where this is going, can't you? But I'll bet the numbers will still surprise you. According to this article, the new stents "are expected to prevent repeat procedures for about 130,000 Americans a year." And, further [bold text mine]...

Dr. Joseph Carrozza, chief of interventional cardiology at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, said the new stents will not only prevent additional procedures but "will have a big impact on how many people go to surgery and how many need medicine. It will alter the entire landscape of how we treat people with coronary artery disease," said Carrozza, who occasionally speaks about the stents for Johnson & Johnson.

At the same time, he said, the hospitals that treat these patients are bracing for a plunge in profits that many can ill afford. Executives at many hospital systems, such as Partners HealthCare, which includes Mass. General, are compiling detailed projections of the damage, probably a 15 to 20 percent drop in cardiac bypass surgery patients over the next five years. And doctors across the country are talking about rationing the new stents to save money, although physicians at teaching hospitals in Boston said they have no plans to limit their use unless patients don't qualify medically.

Open heart surgery is the most profitable procedure at most hospitals; according to this article, the profit margin is in excess of 40%. This extra money is important to many hospitals so that they can fund unprofitable programs, like psych and indigent care (which is often governmentally-mandated, but unfunded) and research.

I visited with a local cardiac surgeon late last year (my mother-in-law was just a tad too early with her angioplasties to get the new stent), and he expressed real concern over the ability of some hospitals to continue their cardic surgical programs. That's how dependent they are on "repeat business." How ironic that essential services could be jeopardized for some because technological advances have reduced the reliance by others on those services.

It's hard to argue against such advances. They are literally life-savers. But the ripples...nothing's ever as simple as it seems.

Texas Dems Exodus - Part 2

Update: Texas Dems Exodus Revisited...

After further reflection and a little more research, I think I was a little premature in my reaction yesterday to the fleeing of Texas House Democrats in protest of Republican moves regarding redistricting in the state. I now believe this is a good example of bipartisan stupidity, with both parties being guilty of violating the public trust.

It's not hyperbole to say that our state is facing crises in both school financing and overall budgeting, and yet the legislature is focused on gerrymandering voter lines...again? I suggest that our elected representatives need to get a grip on reality, and reprioritize their efforts to concentrate on fixing things that really matter to the rank-and-file citizenry.

"Speaker Pro Tem Sylvester Turner of Houston, one of the House Democrats who stayed, asked [Speaker of the House] Mr. Craddick to pull the redistricting bill from the calendar so the House could move on to more pressing matters, such as the state budget.

"Congressional redistricting is not a must-do thing," Mr. Turner said. 'The budget is No. 1.'"

I find that in this case, I'm leaning toward agreement with the Democrats — probably not for the same reasons; their motives aren't completely pure either. In any event, this is a no-win situation.

This and that...

In this edition: Random observations (it's what we do)...

It hit 101° yesterday. That's a full month earlier than our first 100 degree day last year (I'm an accountant, and anal retentive, at that...I keep track of these things. Someone has to do it!). In the past, I'd be tempted to say something like "sure is shaping up to be a long, hot summer," but I've come to realize that weather is like mutual funds, in that past performance is not a reliable predictor of the future. Still, that's just too dang hot for mid-May. And it doesn't help that our year-to-date rainfall is around 1.5".

On second thought, maybe it is shaping up to be a long, hot summer.

...

I've been asked to participate in a program on Thursday entitled "The Message and the Media." It's a look at how churches can better utilize print, broadcast and internet media in getting the word out about their ministries. All the members of the local Ministerial Alliance and the Midland Association of Churches have been invited. My part of the program is related to "new media": websites and email. It begs the question of when, exactly, will these things cease to be referred to as "new media"? The concept of a church website is no longer novel; my church has had one since 1996. Granted, there are a lot of smaller congregations who haven't yet found the resources or expertise to take full advantage of the medium, and others who still have some sort of notion that the internet is the tool of the devil, but for the most part, websites and email should be moving into the "taken for granted" category.

Nevertheless, I have 30 minutes in which to share some tips on using websites and email as part of an overall communication strategy. Given that the audience will consist entirely of pastors and church staff, I've decided to title my presentation "The 10 Commandments of Websites and the 7 Deadly Sins of Email." Catchy, huh? If it goes well, I'll share my observations from the discussion; if it doesn't, we'll just pretend it never happened. And, if you are interested in the presentation itself, I'll have it uploaded in PowerPoint format and I'll be happy to provide you with an URI for the download. Feel free to email me.

The fun aspect of my part of the program is that it occurs just before lunch. It's a dream come true, really. After all those years of sitting in a pew on a Sunday morning, listening to the preacher drone on into the lunch hour...and now I have a roomful of preachers in the same position. You know what they say about payback...?!

...

I watched "American Idol" last night for the first time ever. I was impressed by the talent of the three semi-finalists, but what really made an impression is the fact that none of the nine songs they performed were newer than about 1985, and some went waaaaay back ("Mack the Knife," for example). Is this a commentary on the current state of songwriting? Are there no new songs — written, say, within the past 3-5 years — that can be considered "modern classics"? Apparently not.

Zeldman's book on order...

Update: Buy Zeldman's book...

When I first started building websites, the first online "guru" I discovered was Jeffrey Zeldman. He's my idol (in a completely non-spiritual sense, of course). OK, so he can get a little over the top with respect to web standards, but he still epitomizes style and cool on the web. And, to be honest, his standards spiel is starting to win me over. I'm woefully lacking in the skills needed to achieve full compliance, but I'm working on that.

Anyway, Zeldman's got a new book coming out in a couple of days, entitled (surprise!) "Designing With Web Standards." I followed one of his links last night and came to the New Riders website where I could download a couple of chapters in PDF format. After reading two paragraphs, I had two new useful tips with immediate relevancy...and I immediately bounced over to Amazon and oneclicked the book for pre-order. If you have any interest in website design (and why wouldn't you?), you'll want to do the same.

Windows? Windoze?

Update: Window smashing leads to Windows bashing...

Thailand's Finance Minister was trapped in his Beemer on Monday when the car's computer system failed. Security guards had to rescue him by smashing a window. I'm sure it comes as no shock to anyone — and especially not to those of us who are of the Macintosh persuasion — that the software for this "advance" came from our friends in Redmond.

I understand Microsoft is now sending registered users a "security patch" consisting of a 2 lb. sledge hammer.

[Thanks to my pal John Comeaux (non-blogger) for this tip!]

Texas Dems walkout and more...

In this edition: Texas Dems set new standard in childishness...Katie at (To)Night...Josh's WMD clock is ticking...

As if we in Texas didn't have enough to deal with, given yet another multiple murder of children by their mother, we have to endure the spectacle of 53 House Democrats going AWOL, hiding out in Oklahoma in a protest against what they perceive to be bullying at the hands of the majority Republicans over a redistricting plan that will likely result in even more Republicans being elected, according to the whiners losers Dems.

The Austin American-Statesman has the best quote about this ridiculous situation:

Fifty-three Texas House Democrats, more powerful when they don't show up than when they do, hid out Monday and halted the legislative process as state police tracked them down in Oklahoma.

This is yet another example of the Whining of America, where the growing sentiment of the duly elected minority is to "take my ball and go home" when it isn't able to exert influence disproportionate to the will of the electorate. This is an especially egregious situation in Texas, at this particular time, given the school funding crisis, the state budget shortfall and other significant issues that require immediate attention. Thanks to the immature and self-serving actions by this group, it's likely that a special summer session of the Legislature will be required to attempt to address these issues.

And, once more, the real loser in this playground battle is the tax-paying citizen. I suspect (hope?) that the voters will remember this abdication of responsibility during the next election, and will turn the Democrats' accusations into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

...

Katie Couric's "Tonight Show" guest host debut was a mixed bag of cuteness, obvious nervousness, sympathy laughter and some genuinely funny moments. Not surprisingly, the advice "keep your (To)day job" does apply, but she was more at ease in this situation than Jay Leno was in hers. The high points? Pre-recorded cameos by Larry King and Tom Brokaw ("Good career move, Katie; look at what it did for Joan Rivers!"), and a really funny spoof of Al Roker's morning aerobics, with Al's head superimposed over the frenetic underwear-dancing guy (you know the one).

...

Joshua Claybourn is counting down the time he'll give the Administration to prove that Iraq did, indeed, possess "massive quantities" of WMD. As expected, this post is drawing lots of comment, mostly on the side of accusing Bush, et al of using the pretext of [non-existent] WMD to justify doing what they wanted to do all along: overthrow Saddam. My take on the situation is that it's too early to point fingers that way, and we don't know enough about the intelligence that convinced the Administration that the WMD threat was real.

This and that...

In this edition: Miscellany...

My wife and I spent the weekend in Fort Stockton (home of the world's largest living fiberglass Road Runner) where most of our immediate family lives, including both our mothers (and fathers...we're blessed in that regard). We did the obligatory Friday night dinner at K-Bob's (all-you-can-eat catfish, imported from...well, I really don't want to know), the Saturday night dinner at Sarah's (we've been eating Tex-Mex there for almost 40 years now; it hasn't aged well, but it's a sentimental favorite), and the Mother's Day lunch buffet at the Sunday House (we got a discount for either being seniors or locals or both...neither category applied to all of us, but we didn't question it). In between, we did some yardwork at her folks' house and toured the latest land acquisition by my brother and his wife. [Note to real estate speculators: You can buy a LOT of land in rural Pecos County for not a lot of money. The taxes on this newest bit of property run $80/year...and that's for more than 400 acres! But you have to have a real love of desert terrain to appreciate the land.]

I came home to a couple of interesting media "events." First is the Great Leno/Couric Trading Places Caper. I watched the first 30 minutes of Jay Leno's hosting gig on The Today Show, and found him to be remarkably ill-at-ease. Perhaps he loosened up as time went on, but I didn't have the patience to find out. His interview of Colin Powell had a "Jay-Walking meets Meet the Press" surrealism about it (and Powell wasn't much more at ease than Leno). I suspect that Katie will be better playing Jay's role on the Tonight Show than he was in hers, if for no other reason than she's just so gosh-darn cute and we're all pulling for the little lady. I must admit that I'm looking forward to Thursday when Matt Laurer swaps places with a NYC cabbie.

The Today Show was preceded by the morning show on the local ABC affiliate (yes, we're equal opportunity TV zombies). In the weekly "Computer Expert" segment, I got to hear our local "Computer Expert" introduce blogging, and describe it as "a great way to keep up with family and friends." OK...I don't know for sure how I'd explain blogging in a two minute segment (especially where the gosh-darn cute anchorette talks for half of that time), but I think I'd do better than "it's a great way to keep up with family and friends." He did provide links to Blogger and Blogcritics, so the diligent viewers could do more research.

I missed reading blogs while I was out of town. I had internet access, but didn't want to take time away from the family. But it was nice to get caught up this morning. Lileks was a good read (when isn't he?) but a little on the whiny side, as he complained about the rainy weekend in Minneapolis. It's all a matter of perspective, friend. We haven't had any measurable rainfall since the first day of spring (if you're counting, that's over six weeks), and the thought of a steady drizzle over several days — even over a weekend — is a picture of heaven on earth to those of us in west Texas. Granted, I'm not dealing with a 2-year old with cabin fever, but I'll happily babysit Gnat for a weekend if you can guarantee the rain to go along with it!

Easing into the weekend...

In this edition: Easing into the weekend - "Excuse me...do I know you?"

First off, do you recognize the quote in the headline? Of course you do...it's Steve Martin, from "Father of the Bride, Part 2," proof that the sequel to an excellent remake of a wonderful original can be just as good as its predecessors. If you can't remember the scene, go rent the movie. There are worse things you could do on a weekend in May.

Anyway...we are coming up on the summer months, and around here that means one thing: family reunions. I won't try to debate whether family reunions are a blessing from God or a curse from hell, as the line blurs depending on whose deviled eggs are being foisted upon you at the time. One thing we can all agree on, however, is the frequent occurrence of this question: "who is that?"

Take my family — please. Just kidding. My mom had 11 siblings; my dad had 9. My mother has nieces who are older than her. I have cousins ranging in ages from early 30s to late 70s. And, I gotta tell you, they Just. Keep. Multiplying.

Still, when you start to grow long in the tooth, and wise in the ways of the world, you begin to see preciousness where before there was only annoyance. You start treasuring the time together, rather than dreading it. You realize that there are far fewer reunions in the future than are in the past. And you note that even as the strollers multiply, some of the oldtimers' seats are now vacant — permanently.

But enough of the maudlin sentimentality. What we really need for these events is a scorecard. We need to know how to figure out how we're related to all these people. We need a Relationship Chart (see image above).

If you don't know the difference between a third cousin once removed and a second cousin twice removed, this chart will sort it out, toot sweet. You and your Unclassified Relation find your common ancestor, then read down or across to see how you're related. But, frankly, I've got to tell you that if you find that you're consulting the lower right corner of the chart at your next reunion, you might consider whether your family is taking a little too seriously the Biblical charge to go forth and multiply, if you know what I mean!

Navel gazing...

Update: Blogging about blogging about blogging abo...

Assuming I had one, this post would fall into the navel-gazing category. Bryan, over at Arguing With Signposts, has decided that I'm engaging in such activity by analyzing and categorizing bloggers, and he continues to keep the subject alive by linking to another "navel-gazing" entry at Signposts. (Incidentally, the fact that Signposts and Arguing With Signposts are cross-linking is wonderful, even though they are — somewhat disappointingly — not arguing at all. I don't think they're trying very hard.)

Anyway, Dan (who is apparently half of the blogging team at Signposts) ponders how some bloggers reveal much about themselves while others choose to remain relatively anonymous. What are their various motivations? And, more importantly, are readers understanding those motivations?

I contend that there's no such thing as an anonymous blogger, at least not in the reader's mind. If you blog, you have an identity. That identity will likely be different for each of your readers, depending on how much you choose to help your readers build it. But you know very well that your posts always define you in some fashion, and in the aggregate they give you a personality and even a soul (non-metaphysically speaking, of course).

The Bible warns about the power of the spoken word, of man's inability to tame his tongue. Well, the written word is even more out-of-control, perhaps because it sticks around a lot longer, but certainly because it strides forth on its own, without the softening or context-providing safety nets that non-verbal cues can often give to spoken words. I mention this only as a cautionary note: if you truly want to remain unknown, don't blog. And if you truly want to be identified accurately, blog very carefully.

Even Linkers build identities in their visitors' minds. Anil Dash's "Daily Links" is the purest Linker blog I know of, but Mr. Dash still tells us about himself via the TITLE tag for each link. Does he know what we're learning about him? I suspect he does...but not absolutely. Obviously, he's content with that.

Which brings us to the Gross Generalization of the Day:

Writers want you to know who they are, and they make it easy. Linkers want you to know who they are, and they make it difficult.

As for me, I enjoy immensely getting to "know" bloggers via their online musings. They're all smarter than me, so I learn something new every day. They all write better than I do, and reading them gives me an opportunity to get better. And, for the most part, they're all nice people...at least in the personae I've created for them. [Well, the jury's still out on the puppy-blending Glenn.] Those who aren't nice — well, I kick 'em off my blogroll and they are instantly irrelevant. [Implied warning]

Virtual License Plates

Update: I'm unique — just read my license plate...

One thing led to another and I found myself reading this article about a special auction of license plates in England (only they call them "car number plates," which doesn't make sense because they obviously can contain letters). My thought: how sad; these poor schmucks have to make do with "plates resembling names" including "TAN 111A, S73 WRT and E110 TTT." Uh, names of what?

It's yet another reminder — I must be careful not to sound patronizing — of American superiority, at least in the area of Vanity Plates. I mean, can you imagine how, well, uncivilized it must be to live in a world where Firebirds don't sport tags like "HAIR DOC" and LeSabres must drive without plates like "TOOBIG1"?

Yes, in America we can all be unique in our own, um, special ways, because we can have Vanity Plates that have actual words on them (as opposed to "characters that may resemble words if you scrunch up your eyes"). Unfortunately, they cost money...sometimes a lot of money...and not all of us can squeeze 'em into our budgets. Never fear; now we all can share in the Vanity Plate pleasure, courtesy of the good folks at Acme License Maker. Why, even the Gazette can now afford its own tag:

Rumor has it that Baghdad Bob is getting into the act:

Mouse Gestures for Mozilla

Update: Mouse gestures...

OK, so am I the only one on the planet who didn't know about mouse gestures? Why didn't someone clue me in?

Sure, I've never used Opera, which is where mouse gestures were pioneered in a browser, and even if I had, Opera for Mac only has limited support. But now I find that I can use 'em in Netscape 7.0 (and most if not all versions of Mozilla), so I walk in the blindness of ignorance no longer.

If you claim to not know what mouse gestures are, in order to make me feel better, then humor me while I explain that they allow you to control your browser by making small movements with a clicked mouse. The movements are mapped in the following graphic, and they resemble nothing so much as Palm's Graffiti® PDA stylus movements.

Mouse gestures for Mozilla/Netscape are downloaded and installed as a plug-in...very painless. A panel in the browser preferences (advanced) lets you customize the mouse movements so as to minimize conflicts between gestures and other behavior (such as highlighting text). The preferences panel even comes with an uninstall button in case you decide gestures isn't your cup of tea.

I'm still in the early learning stages, using gestures primarily to move forward and backward in history, and to increase/decrease text size. Combine gestures with a wireless mouse and you have a situation that will potentially provide great relief for RMS-type ailments.

[Link tip to Simon Willison]

Running across the USA...

Dave and Scott are two lunatics college graduates who share a single burning desire: to run 3200 miles, coast-to-coast, with no support and without paying for lodging. They are now more than 70 days into this Grand Pursuit. How do I know this? Because, of course, they're blogging on the way. Follow the exploits of this zany* duo as they consume mass quantities of presumably free beer until the wee hours of the morning, then arise and run 25 miles or so across this great land. Ah, youth.

While we're on the subject, did you know there is a website devoted to running barefoot?

[Link tips courtesy of Runner's World (the mag, not the website)]

*Yes, I realize I've used the word "zany" twice today. It has a nice ring to it. Zany, zany, zany...

More about my blogroll

Bryan over at Arguing With Signposts notes my blogroll "reorganization," referring to it as an exercise in "navel-gazing." This surprises me, for two reasons. One, I was cloned in a lab and thus I have no navel. And, (b) I didn't know anyone actually read my blog.

OK, only one of those statements is accurate. But that's beside the point. Since Bryan's post had only two lines, I resorted to reading between the words, and, finally, reading between the letters to get to the crux of the matter. I have apparently caused a shift in the space-time-twinkies continuum of the blogosphere with my cruelly-logical organization and categorization of my links. So I guess I — like the intrepid adventurers in the epic and zany film, "The Core" — will have to resort to heroic and self-sacrificing measures to restore order. In other words, it's spin time.

A few weeks back, I presented a short program about blogging to our local Mac users group. Being a mere blogging novice myself, I did extensive research to prepare. That is, I clicked on the "I'm feeling lucky" button on a search for "history of blogs." The result was a goldmine of useful information, courtesy of Rebecca's Pocket. There I learned that blogging probably began sometime in '97, and really took off in '99. But here's the relevant quote (the bolded emphasis is mine):

The original weblogs were link-driven sites. Each was a mixture in unique proportions of links, commentary, and personal thoughts and essays.

Even waaaay back in '97, the www was a big and complicated thing, and people needed help in getting around in it. Bloggers served as little tourist information centers on the information superhighway. They found and described interesting little corners of the net that the family in the mini-van wouldn't likely stumble across on its own. Yes, these bloggers also added commentary and opinion, but they were first and foremost linkers. They were the Founding Fathers of the blogosphere, and they were Linkers.

What follows is my own opinion, based on my version of reality. Linkers came first, and Writers followed, in the blogosphere, at least. The first Linkers were hardcore coders; there was no Blogger, no Blog*Spot, no Movable Type, etc. You had to roll your own. Most Writers didn't have the expertise, the inclination or the time to do this. They were too busy Writing. But when all the cool free (FREE!) blogging tools came on the scene, Writers, being lazy cheapskates, immediately recognized the potential of Personal Publishing and embraced the new medium, likely as an adjunct to their more traditional outlets.

Over time...lo, these many years...the distinctions between Linkers and Writers has blurred, but only somewhat. They both play important, but different roles. Some move easily between worlds, like Glenn Reynolds (Writer by MSNBC, Linker by InstaPundit); some play in both yards, but with a big wall between (like Dave Barry, whose blog is 100% Linker, and whose columns are 100% treeware but accessible online. Umm, in the interest of full disclosure, I must note that his latest column deals with fire ants.).

So, we see that Linkers and Writers each play important roles in the blogging ecology. One tells us where to go; the other tells us what to do when we get there. And if I were as smart as I think I am, I'd stop here. Ha!

Here's the real difference between Linkers and Writers:

<gross generalization>

Linkers blog for the benefit of others. Writers blog for the benefit of themselves.

</gross generalization>

Oh, come on...quit being such a crybaby; you know it's true. Writers are driven by their egos. Granted, they want to create reactions in their readers; they want to make a difference somehow in their readers' lives. But, in the end, they really just want to be read. Linkers, on the other hand, know that they must be read to make a difference, but the real test is whether people follow their links or not. A Linker's blog is just a delivery system — like a cigarette delivers nicotine. The cigarette as an object is unimportant.

Having said that, here's another real difference between Writers and Linkers:

<gross generalization>

Writers who blog engage in primary creativity; Linkers who blog engage in secondary creativity.

</gross generalization>

By "primary" creativity, I mean the creation of something from nothing. By "secondary" creativity, I mean the building upon something created by someone else. Linkers are tradesman; Writers are artists. Oh, come on...quit being such a crybaby; you know it's true. A good Linker loves nothing better than to bring to the attention of the world a previously-little-known website or article, even though he or she didn't create that item.

The interesting thing is that all Linkers secretly want to be Writers...and some come perilously close to succeeding. Is it possible to be good at both? Absolutely. Should this be your goal? Absolutely not. The world — nay, humanity! — needs pure Linkers, just as it needs competent auto mechanics and brick layers and plumbers. When your toilet is backed-up, the last thing you need is Norman Mailer telling you how an effective sewer system is just a symbol for raging white male supremacy, regardless of the two dollar vocabulary he might employ.

OK. I think I've dug this hole just about deep enough. I think I'll climb in for a little nap. Anyone care to tuck me in? ;-)

Hummer doesn't...

50 grand just doesn't buy what it used to.

J.D. Power & Associates rolled out its latest automotive quality survey, and — drum roll, please — the $50K Hummer H2 authoritatively lumbered into last place, with 225 problems per 100 vehicles (compared to 76 for the first place winner, Lexus).

According to this article in today's Wall Street Journal, this is the first time Power has listed the worst performers.

In the past, J.D. Power, which sells the results to the auto makers and charges them if they tout it in their advertising, only released results for the best brands. But bootleg versions of the survey often leaked out. This year, the firm decided to release more complete results itself.

I've noticed a proliferation of the new H2 around Midland, a sign that while $35 oil is bad for the overall economy, on a micro-economic basis it's very good news indeed. (I do hope that most of those owners paid for their new vehicles with cash, given the recent plummet in crude prices.) I'm unsure as to the motivation behind the local H2 buying spree. It's not because of the terrain; the overpasses along I-20 are the most extreme elevation changes within 50 miles. It's not because of the inclement weather conditions; over the past 7 years, we've averaged less than 10 inches of rain annually, and a heavy snowfall is one that your Pomeranian can leave footprints in.

OTOH, we Midlanders have always had a penchant for mixing style with practicality...witness the local oilman who put a trailer hitch on his Lamborghini so he could pull a jet ski to the lake (which, incidentally, is 90 miles distant).

Still, the attraction of the Hummer in Midland remains a mystery. AFAIK, you have to drive 120 miles to Lubbock to buy one — does that mean you also have to make that trip for service? The Hummer was knocked by owners in the Power survey for poor reliability and poor gas mileage, a double-whammy in this case.

GM's top management was none too pleased with Hummer's performance. "We are absolutely not happy with the results," said Gary Cowger, president of GM's North American operations.

Still, Mr. Cowger and executives at other top auto makers seemed at a loss with how to fix some of the complaints. On the H2's fuel economy, Mr. Cowger noted that he hoped the price of gasoline went down. Mr. Ivers noted, though, that part of the issue is managing consumers' expectations, and Hummer is not required to include fuel economy (indeed, GM doesn't publish it though it says the vehicle averages about 11 miles per gallon) because the vehicle is too heavy to be subject to rules governing light trucks.

Ironically, Lubbock is also home to the closest Lexus dealership. Go figure.

Blogroll housecleaning...

Seems like the hot topic of the month in the blogosphere is blogrolls: who likes 'em, who doesn't, who's doing housecleaning, who's reorganizing.

All the different discussions motivated me to try to bring some organization into my ever-expanding list of links. I started out by dropping a few (a very few) blogs that I've either lost interest in (Andrew Sullivan, for example), couldn't find time to visit (HappyFunPundit, for example) or couldn't remember why I linked to it to begin with.

I then created three arbitrary categories, as you see at right: Linkers, Writers and Techies. I then placed each blog into one of the three categories, using "because I said so" as my guiding philosophy. I trust that no one will be offended by my categorization of their blog, because there's no hierarchy involved. Linkers aren't "better" or "more useful" than Writers...they just use their blogs differently (in my perception). A number of blogs straddle the line and I flipped a mental coin. If you feel that I've disparaged your reputation by placing you in the "wrong" category, feel free to let me know and I'll gladly move you. (If you don't like being categorized this way, let me know that, as well, and I'll drop you.)

The "Techie" category is a combination of Linkers and Writers, but I don't care, because they all relate to web design, software, gizmos, the internet, etc.

I use my links differently perhaps than many: I actually follow them regularly. I check most of them daily, and all of them weekly. My blogroll is for my benefit, primarily; if others find it useful, so much the better. That's why I have a few sentimental favorites in the list that wouldn't make the cut if judged by "regular" criteria (whatever that means). And, I'm pretty comfortable with the line-up now, so it's not likely that I'll be adding any new ones, unless I drop some old ones.

The exception is the Techie category. I'm always on the lookout for useful and interesting blogs that relate directly to my profession.

Nitpicking the journalists...

In this edition: Easing into Monday — Poor reporting, or sign of the times?

The Wall Street Journal has a story this morning about the Borowitz Report, a widely-read humor website by writer Adam Borowitz. It is an interesting, if brief, look into the writer's life (he's authored a new book entitled "Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison") and offers a number of snippets from the website.

The thing that caught my eye, however, is that the author, Matthew Rose, fails to include Borowitz's web address in the article. Is this an oversight, or did Mr. Rose assume that his audience was astute enough to either guess the address or know how to quickly find it (using the "I feel lucky" feature of Google, perhaps)?

Well, without making too much of a mountain out of this molehill, I think it's a little inconsiderate to the reader, if nothing else. No self-respecting blogger would ever commit such a faux pas.

Umm...don't worry...here it is.

Custom 404 pages

In this edition: Fun with 404s...

From Ipsie Dixit comes this link to a hilarious 404 page.

404 pages are like Easter Eggs...and they can bring a breath of fresh air into an otherwise lousy day (unless, of course, you really needed to find that page!). So, it behooves each of us to do our part, and banish the bland default 404 forever. Don't know where to start? Try the 404 Research Lab (which, by the way — as you might expect — has a great 404 page!).

You might even find yourself intentionally seeking 404s. I know I did, and one of the better examples is here, at the Whitehouse's website. Note the subtle dig at the "previous administration." Of course, there are some disappointments, as well. I guess Frank was too busy thinking up new filthy lies about Glenn to come up with a better 404 page. Oops! My bad...Glenn's is just as bad! Oh well, guess they can't be all things to all people.

In the interest of full disclosure, you can see mine. It's nothing special...but it's mine.

Molly, Molly, full of folly...

Update: One more reason to avoid Molly Ivins (as if we needed another one)...

I get periodic emails from the International Mission Board of the Southern Baptist Convention, detailing its evangelistic and humanitarian projects around the world. With 5,500 field personnel in service (and another 30,000 short term volunteers each year) and an annual budget of almost $300 million, the IMB has the resources and the commitment to make a difference in a lot of lives. Now, obviously, the IMB's driving motivation is to get people saved...make them Christians. But, contrary to the opinions of a lot of unknowledgeable people — people who seem to enjoy that state and remain committed to it — the IMB missionary's assistance is not contingent on conversion. Jesus invariably met the physical and emotional needs of people before filling (or offering to fill) their spiritual needs, and He is the model for the IMB's ministry.

Anyway, I received such an update yesterday but just got around to reading it a few minutes ago. This update, written by Erich Bridges, takes the gloves off in responding to those who question the IMB's motives in Iraq and other countries, addressing specifically that piece of work known as Molly Ivins (whom I regret to admit is a Texan, and I refuse to provide a link to her website).

I wouldn't normally post something this lengthy, but I can't locate a web-based version, and I think the whole message is worth reading. And, by the way, it's worth noting that Texas Baptists were ministering in northern Iraq well before the war started. (Bold type added by me for emphasis if you're just a scanner.)

A cup of cold water for Iraq, with no strings attached

By Erich Bridges

RICHMOND, Va. (BP)--Seldom has giving a cup of cold water in Christ's name been so controversial.

Evangelical relief workers have yet to set foot in postwar Iraq in significant numbers because of ongoing security and logistical hurdles. But their intentions, motives and plans have been cross-examined for weeks by critics inside and outside the church.

It's not the "cup of cold water" part that bothers the critics; it's the "in Christ's name" part.

Some worry that the timing is terrible, that Western Christians entering a mostly Muslim country in the wake of a victorious American military will look too much like colonial-era missionaries, or worse, medieval Crusaders. Others see evangelicals as too closely tied to the Bush administration.

Still others cite widely reported derogatory statements about Islam and Muhammad made by evangelist Franklin Graham and former Southern Baptist Convention president Jerry Vines. The statements, they say, disqualify evangelicals from working in the volatile Muslim region, or at least damage their credibility.

Then there are voices within relief and humanitarian circles -- including some Christian groups -- that categorically oppose "proselytizing" in the course of relief work.

The criticism has ranged from the respectful and reasonable to the ridiculous and mean-spirited. You can always trust Texas pundit Molly Ivins to provide the latter.

Fundamentalist Christians "are salivating over the prospect of going to Iraq to convert the hapless heathen," Ivins declared recently in her syndicated column. "The Southern Baptists are poised to deploy en masse, reminding us of Texas newspaperman William Brann's famous comment, 'The trouble with our Texas Baptists is that we do not hold them under water long enough.'"

Well, isn't that heartwarming?

A subsequent comment by Ivins is even more revealing. These "proselytizing fundamentalists," she warned, "plan to offer physical aid as well as spiritual enlightenment, which will make life difficult for traditional aid workers who do not proselytize."

That statement is hypocritical, for starters, since Ivins and her ilk delight in attacking evangelicals for caring only about saving souls while ignoring hungry bodies. It also reveals a profound ignorance -- unfortunately shared by many less sarcastic secularists -- of both the history and the present of humanitarian relief work.

Until very recent times, most "traditional aid workers" came out of the church. From the earliest days of the faith, Christians have visited orphans and widows in their distress. Christian workers and missionaries have taught the uneducated, healed the sick and fed the hungry throughout the ages.

They did it then -- and they're doing it now. Fair-minded members of the relief and development community know that evangelicals are carrying out creative and effective human needs projects worldwide, from basic food distribution to long-term community development, from water purification to teaching better farming methods, public health and AIDS prevention.

I've personally seen Southern Baptist workers and volunteers do simple and amazing things to improve daily life in some of the poorest parts of India, Bangladesh, the Philippines and Brazil, to name just a few places where they serve.

But don't take my word for it. New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof, one of the few members of the elite media who's taken the time to observe evangelicals at work around the world, calls them "the new internationalists."

They are "saving lives in some of the most forgotten parts of the world," Kristof wrote last year. "(A)ll in all, we should welcome this new constituency for foreign affairs in Middle America. I've lost my cynicism about evangelical groups partly because I've seen them at work abroad."

For the record, Southern Baptist volunteers hope to feed hungry people in Iraq, where more than half the population depended on U.N.-sponsored food distribution before the war. They hope to help thirsty Iraqis gain access to clean water. They hope to help some impoverished villages develop into self-sufficient communities. They hope to send medical and dental workers, construction workers, agricultural and livestock workers and other helpers.

"Reaching out to people in distress is at the very heart of what it means to be a follower of Jesus. Wanting to help ease the suffering of Iraq's people is the natural response of the Christian heart," says Larry Cox of the Southern Baptist International Mission Board. "At the same time, the relief projects will be supervised by experienced workers who live in the region. They understand the culture and Islam and are fluent in Arabic. They are very qualified to design the efforts in a way that will not offend Muslim sensitivities.

"Yes, we are unapologetically Christians," he adds. "But we also are committed to freedom. We believe no one should ever be coerced in matters of faith, either unduly influenced to accept or prevented from exploring a new teaching. In places where other religions dominate, our approach to relief efforts is geared to making information available for those who want it. Ministries are conducted with no strings attached because, after all, that is how God loves us."

Love, practically demonstrated, with no strings attached. What's so controversial about that?

Cheaters pay taxes, too!

WorldCom, Enron — "We may be cheats, but we're tax-paying cheats!"

It seems that, according to the Wall Street Journal, "companies committing fraud were more afraid of the IRS than of their own auditors."

Enron and WorldCom (now MCI), which together tallied fraud-related earnings restatements of an estimated $9.5 billion, are now seeking federal income tax refunds of taxes paid on those non-existent earnings. The report says that MCI has already collected more than $300 million in such refunds.

More interesting insight into the minds of fraud-indulging execs:

Companies -- even in the biggest cases of corporate fraud -- usually continue paying the proper amount of taxes on their improper numbers so as not to be found out.

In a recent study of 27 companies charged with fraud, a University of Chicago accounting professor, Merle Erickson, found that top management apparently was willing to sacrifice tax payments made in cash in order to publicly report sham earnings and revenue gains. His study found that, on average, companies "sacrificed" 11 extra cents in taxes for each dollar of fraudulent earnings.

The true — and sad — irony in this situation is that it's doubtful that any of these refunds will make it back to the shareholders and former employees of the pre-bankrupt entities...although this will very likely be a battle that ends up in the courthouse.

Grocery baggers can be proud...

Dawn Marshall is a supermarket cashier and bagger in Upper Darby, PA. She's so good at her job — particularly the bagging part — that people will drive out of their way, bypassing lower prices in some cases, to let her work her magic on their groceries.

From today's Wall Street Journal:

Ms. Marshall knows how to pack the flimsy plastic bags that have largely replaced paper so they stand up on their own: Build a strong base and fashion walls using canned goods, cereal boxes and cartons. She often double-bags to prevent tearing. She makes sure odor-absorbing chicken is never placed next to bleach, bread doesn't get smashed, and eggs don't get broken.

And she does it all very quickly, tallying record scores in Pathmark's competitive cashier efficiency rating system, which tracks how long it takes cashiers to scan and bag purchases. Last year, she won a National Grocers Association contest, held annually for 17 years, as the best bagger in America, based on speed, bag-building technique, weight distribution of bags, style and attitude. Her prize: $2,000 and a trophy, a ceramic paper bag that sits in a china cabinet she bought to hold it.

Now that I do most of the grocery shopping for our household (well, there's just two of us, not counting the dog, but, still...), I've come to have a real and strong appreciation for the capable cashier/bagger. It's a noble calling, actually, and one that's quite personal. After all, these people are handling many things that will eventually go into your body and become a part of you. And I can assure you that there truly exists a phenomenon known as "check-out line time" which, like "island time," bears no relationship to the normal temporal realities beyond the ice machine. Those seconds saved by the truly efficient bagger seem to multiply considerably within that context.

I salute Dawn Marshall and those like her...they should have songs and poems composed in their honor, so that we'll remember what once was, in those rapidly-approaching days where even the grocery checkout process is completely self-serve.

Pundit Smackdown!

Clash of the Titans: InstaPundit Gets Bleated!

Told ya so! ;-)

Santorum

Update: More on Santorum's comments...

Chris Regan over at JunkYardBlog has a great post — albeit with a rather strange intro — about The Great Santorum Flap. Warning: this is not reading for the "timid" Christian...the Apostle Paul would be proud!

Be sure to follow the link at the end of the post, the one about Bill & Hillary's churchgoing experience. Yikes!

[Link tip from Jeffrey Collins at Joyful Christian]

Weirdness from domain registrar

Update: Shutting down free speech, Hollywood-style...

OK, so I just slammed InstaPundit (albeit rather mildly, I think). But now I'll point to the good post regarding the pressure brought about by the William Morris Agency to shut down boycott-hollywood.us.

What really caught my eye was how willingly the registrar, Dotster.com, rolled over for this strong-arm tactic. I mean, when have you EVER seen a domain name registrar let a paid registration go without a fight? Or, at least, without multiple daily emails letting you know that the fate of civilization rests upon your renewal?

Picking on Glenn (it's fun...try it!)

Newsflash! InstaPundit not infallible after all!

I suspect James Lileks — being experienced with both Macs and Windoze machines — will set the record straight for Glenn (who really should know better than to wade into these dangerous waters anyway), much better than I could.

This is one instance where the brevity of blog posts does a disservice to the reader seeking enlightenment.

[Link tip from Arguing with Signposts]