Oscar Wrap-Up

Jared blogs the Academy Awards in typically insightful fashion, in case you want a quick catch-up. I have nothing to add regarding who won what.

Except to say...LOTR: 11-0...what a sweep!

If you watch the show long enough, you almost begin to think that it's about something important. And, I suppose it is, to someone. A bunch of people rely on the represented industries to support their families, and their products can entertain and uplift people around the world. Actually, while I (and a bunch of you, too) make jokes at Hollywood's expense, the truth of the matter is that those who are sincerely committed to their art and craft and who work diligently at it day in and day out are no less to be commended than the majority of other people who happened to have found themselves working in other trades.

It's when they take themselves so dang seriously that they really chap my behind!

And, in the end, the commercials for the Academy Awards broadcast kicked some serious Super Bowl rear, across the board. And that's what counts!

Welcome to the "Lunatic Texans On Skis" Tour

I want to thank you for showing up for this press conference. It's important that we try to set the record straight, if for no other reason than to staunch the gushing of legal fees.

Now, if you'll permit me, I'd like to make a brief opening statement, and then I'll take some questions. Ahem...

First, I'd like to point out the sheer hypocrisy of those who would harangue us for the minor communications glitch that occurred on the first day of our ski trip. Like, I'm sure that you've never driven 20 minutes up an icy mountain road to the ski lodge, unloaded all the equipment and toted it up to the locker, purchased lift tickets and then realized that your ski boots were still at the rental shop at the base of the mountain.

OK, I will admit that it was silly of us guys to believe that when the wives said that they'd loaded all the gear in the car while we were paying out, they really meant that they'd loaded all the gear in the car. It was negligent of us to fail to go through a complete inventory list before making the drive up the mountain. It was sheer hubris, brought on by a combined 60+ years of marriage, to believe that our communications skills could not fail us. In these respects, perhaps the criticisms are just the tiniest bit warranted.

But, let's not dwell on the negative. Or, at least not that negative.

There've been some nasty rumors floating around about my mastery of the art of skiing. First, let me say that skiing itself is way overrated. Someone has said that it is possible to duplicate the skiing experience simply by sitting in a bathtub filled with ice cubes and lighting $20 bills one after another. Scott would argue that even poker is a more legitimate sport than downhill skiing, which requires only two flat sticks and gravity, equipment that is available pretty much coast-to-coast.

Nevertheless, just because I skiied over my partner's head doesn't make me a bad skier, per se. And, technically, I didn't actually ski over my partner's head. Well, sure...I skiied over his head, but that's different. Plus, if he's going to do a faceplant on a narrow trail in the trees with me hot on his heels, by definition he's sort of limited my reactive options. Truth be known, I thought I displayed admirable flexibility in parting my skis enough to pass unimpeded over his prone body (and he showed appreciated restraint in keeping his head down at one critical juncture).

So, I hope that clears that up.

Now, with regard to the totally baseless allegations coming from the Santa Fe Ski Patrol, I ask you, who are you going to believe? Some pretty-boy Bode Miller look-alike with a fancy ski parka, or yours truly? And, frankly, I think that skiing down those wide open groomed runs at full speed is for wusses. Plus, for $48 per day, you ought to be able to get your money's worth by skiing laterally across the runs, from tree grove to tree grove.

You tell me...what's more better: following the myriad tracks of the lemmings on the groomed runs, or making first tracks, however wobbly, through the trees spaced up to 14" apart?

That assumes, of course, that you actually make it through those trees. That brings us to the reason I'm standing before you with an ice-pack on my right knee, which I know you've all been wondering about.

I want to go on record as being the first to demand a little truth in advertising from the ski basins of America. To illustrate, let me share a, um, hypothetical, which could have happened to a, um, friend. Hypothetically, if you had a ski run named, hypothetically, "Adventure Land," and it had, hypothetically, such accoutrements such as a teepee and a little covered bridged and was generally swarming with four year olds locked in perpetual snowplow stances, well, you'd expect that such a run would be really, really safe. Wouldn't you?

Well, that's what they'd like you to think, the sadistic demon-spawn who design ski slopes. But the ugly, ugly truth of the matter is that there are real trees, many real and solid trees - hypothetically-speaking of course - and the impact of the tip of one's right ski with the trunk of one of those trees such that the impacted ski stops and the other ski, along with all the hypothetical anatomical parts to which it is directly and indirectly connected continue onward at a high rate of speed could, hypothetically, lead to unnatural contortions of the non-moving part or parts. (By the way, no actual trees were harmed in the making of this hypothetical.)

This being the case, I'd like to respectfully suggest to the hypothetical Santa Fe Ski Basin that they give the aforementioned mislabeled "Adventure Land" a more appropriate and descriptive name to help prevent any future such hypothetical situations as that detailed above. I suggest something like "Screaming Trees of Painful Death" or "Orthopaedic Surgeon's Lexus Payment."

Well, now...I trust that this introduction has been helpful. I'll now open the floor for questions. No hypotheticals, please.

Commercial Inspiration

The Mastercard commercial "series" now running on the Academy Awards broadcast is a stroke of genius. It's the ongoing saga of Badger, a lost dog finding making his way home across the United States. It uses the very successful MC meme of "xxx - $; yyy - $; zzz - $; aaa - priceless" along with a plotline that grabs dog-lovers and people-watchers alike.

We may have a hard time not watching the entire broadcast, just to see how the commercial turns out. It's much better than 90% of the show, thus far (although I could watch the footage of Michael Moore being stomped by the elephant-creature in LOTRs over and over!).

Hiding Your Light

And, speaking of Alison Krause, how cool is it that she's wearing diamond-encrusted shoes valued at $2 million...and a long dress that completely covers them?

Mystery Musical Instrument?

So, what's that strange musical instrument that Sting is, um, playing during his duet with Alison Krause on the Academy Awards?

About the size of a mandolin, it had a crank on one end, which he turned continuously, and a pitch control on the other, and it produced a hauntingly beautiful sound, like a bagpipe with manners.

Any clues?

Update - 2004-03-01: Denise left a comment on another post informing me that the mystery instrument is a hurdy-gurdy. (Anyone else remember Donovan's song from the 60s entitled "The Hurdy-Gurdy Man"? Anyone, that is, besides Dawn?) You can get your hurdy-gurdy fix here.

Movie Reviews (sort of, and not "Passion"-related)

Believe it or not, I've seen a couple of movies lately besides "The Passion of the Christ."

One of them was "In America," which we saw last week at the cozy Jean Cocteau Theater in Santa Fe. I suppose we were some of the last people in the country to see it, but, frankly, I don't remember the movie ever coming to Midland (perhaps they can make a sequel with that title), and if it played in Odessa, we missed it.

Given that it's received multiple Academy Award nominations, it's completely irrelevant for me to say that "In America" is a wonderful movie. But, it is (I've never run from the specter of irrelevancy). It's a lovely story, well-told and well-acted. It's also a timely reminder that a movie doesn't need $100M of special effects and an "A list" cast to capture the imagination of the viewing public.

But, for the life of me, I can't understand why Sarah Bolger, who played Christy in the movie, didn't get an Oscar nomination. She did get close to the top ten in the supporting category in the Village Voice 2003 Film Poll.

Moving from the sublime to the, well, not...we saw "Barbershop II: Back in Business" on Saturday. We enjoyed its precursor, "Barbershop" and while the sequel hasn't gotten great reviews, it seemed like a good excuse to share a tub of popcorn on a blustery February afternoon.

What we didn't expect was that we would get our own private showing, as in...we were the only two people in the theater. We've never experienced that before. And I gotta tell you, it was a little spooky, especially when the lights dimmed and the first trailer was for the upcoming "Dawn of the Dead" (tagline: When there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth). Fortunately, the rest of the trailers and the movie were much lighter.

Barbershop II didn't live up to the standard set by the first movie. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great. I was disappointed that Queen Latifah's presence added nothing to either the plot or the quality; I think it was basically a commercial for one of her upcoming movies. The plot was predictable and while all the actors in the original returned for the sequel, none of their characters were appreciably developed.

The recurring subplot dealing with flashbacks to the civil rights movement of the 50s and 60s was a nice touch, however, and there were still enough funny moments to justify the movie as a popcorn-delivery vehicle. Ice Cube is still the best rapper-turned-actor in the business, and Cedric the Entertainer continues to be an equal opportunity offender, and funny as all get out. You could do worse.

Rednek Hankies

This is shoehorned into "The Passion" category, but I'm not sure where else I'd put it.

MLB and I went to see another movie on Saturday ("Barbershop II," if you must know...and that experience is worth another short post in just a sec). We noticed that the cineplex management had apparently taken an unusual step to address the emotional impact of "The Passion of the Christ." On a ledge adjacent to the entrance of each of the two theaters where the film is showing were placed rolls of...toilet paper! And I'm not talking about a nice little soft roll of Charmin; I'm talking the industrial strength 12" diameter rolls that you find in only the finest bus stations, pool halls and, um, Hollywood Theaters.

Is this something unique to Midland, or is anyone else noticing a similar thing in their neck of the woods?

New Gazette Category (duh)

In recognition that (1) the film is now an official "phenomenon" and (2) I'm the blogging equivalent of a broken record, I've established a new category for entries related to "The Passion of the Christ."

I keeping thinking that I've run out of things to write about the film, but I haven't...as you'll soon see.

Will "The Passion" Dampen Passion For Passion Plays?

I can't help wondering about the impact of "The Passion of The Christ" on attendance at the hundreds or possibly thousands of locally-produced Passion Plays at churches around the country.

Our church puts on a production every other year, alternating with another local Baptist church, and this is "our year." The production is elaborate and involves literally hundreds of people, either on-stage or behind the scenes. In the past, we've "sold out" (the performances are free) every presentation, with several thousand in attendance overall. In other words, it's a Big Deal, and has historically been an effective way of presenting the Gospel.

But, this year...I don't know. The film was so powerful, so realistic...and the production values were top notch. I wonder if theater-goers will have a mindset like, "I've just witnessed the real thing; why would I want to see a copy?"

I think the value of locally-produced presentations like we're working on is that they will generally present a more complete picture of Jesus' life. Even though we call it a "Passion Play," there's much more to it than just the last 12 hours of His life that traditionally defines His "Passion." Given the expanded context, these local offerings are probably better evangelistic vehicles than the movie. My hope is that they'll prove to be an extension, a valuable adjunct to the film.

We'll see.

Mel Gibson's On Leno Tonight

Just in case you might be interested...

Update: Leno and his potsmoking preacher's-kid band leader Kevin Eubanks saw the movie Tuesday night. Leno's first half dozen jokes in the monologue were about the film, and, frankly, were pretty funny for the most part. (Especially the one about the single bag of popcorn being sufficient to feed the whole theater, and the other about the movie doing so well that they're thinking about bringing out a book. Get it? A Book.) Leno is rarely serious about anything, but I thought I detected a trace of sensitivity and respect even in his quips. Perhaps it's because Mel Gibson is coming on later. Perhaps it's something more. I'd like to think so.

Violence In "The Passion"

[Note: If you're getting tired of reading my thoughts about Mel Gibson's movie, I'm sorry. I do actually have some other things to write about, but I feel compelled to first address something that has eternal significance, unlike those "other things." Feel free to browse elsewhere for the time being. And, if you're seeking a "real" review of the film, you'll find none better than Jared's over at The Thinklings.]

Yesterday's viewing of "The Passion of the Christ" has caused me to reflect anew on some things I'd forgotten or have taken for granted regarding the suffering and death of Jesus Christ. I've also tried to place those things within the context of the ongoing discussion about the violence that was depicted in the film. I came to the realization today that Mel understated the suffering of the Christ. It could have been...no, should have been so much worse, if we really wanted to understand it.

Fortunately for us, no filmmaker in the world could capture the reality. Why is that fortunate? Because no audience in the world could endure it.

From a purely physical aspect, Jesus' suffering was short-lived. Even Pilate was amazed at how quickly He died (see Mark 15:44). Crucifixion was intended to be a drawn-out agonizing means of death, with the victim usually suffocating or dying of thirst. The breaking of the legs of the men on the cross was, in fact, a mercy (if you can call it that) intended to speed up their death, as their inability to support themselves would bring about that suffocation more quickly.

Jesus' suffering through His arrest, "trial" and scourging was horrible, but, again, of relatively short duration. One can't help but compare this trial to those of POWs in various wars who suffered through literally years of daily torture. The stories coming out of Iraq reveal that man's ability to inflict cruelty on his fellows has not waned over time.

No, the point is that there are worse things than physical torture and death. And once we come to that understanding, we can begin to catch a glimpse of the real pain that Jesus suffered, the spiritual agony of becoming a living sacrifice for humanity past, present and future.

He Who knew no sin, became sin, so that we might be saved. "He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross..." (1 Peter 2:24) This, I believe, is the real violence done to Jesus: the turning away of His Father, and the acceptance of the sins of the world, combined to create an agony that we can try to contemplate, but will never understand. All the physical torture and brutality which can be conceived by the fallen mind of man absolutely pales in comparison to that kind of spiritual suffering. (In the movie, Satan acknowledges that fact, in a scene that borders on "throw-away" but which, in fact, is one of the pivotal moments.)

This is one reason why I think that the message of this movie is largely lost on non-believers. If you don't believe that Jesus is the Son of God, then you cannot conceive of the kind of suffering He endured on your behalf. You cannot see past the physical suffering, and while you will no doubt be revulsed by it, the truth is, you don't know the half of it. Not nearly.

10 Things About "The Passion" That Surprised Me

Spoilers ahead...click the "Continue Reading" link at your own risk...or stop here if you're coming in via a trackback or direct link.

You might notice that I've not categorized this post as "Religion." I'm not going to address any theological or doctrinal issues or questions related to the movie (although I do list a few things where the filmmaker's vision differed from mine).

1. Satan is played by a woman, Rosalinda Celentano.


2. There were several direct visual references to the reality of the existence of demons, and the physical manifestation of spiritual warfare.


3. Many spoken Latin and Aramaic words were recognizable even to my untrained ear.


4. The subtitles never interfered with the movie or were a distraction. I shouldn't be surprised by this; I found the same to be true with "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," but I somehow expected something different for a story that I knew well.


5. The crew guy who was struck twice by lightning during the filming...and I don't remember his name or job...was referred to as "Lightning Boy" in the closing credits.


6. Despite a report to the contrary, a trailer was shown before the movie. It was for "Madison", a movie starring Jim Caviezel and made in 2001. It was a little jarring to see what looked like commercial capitalization, especially when I discovered that the movie wasn't new. I'm still scratching my head about this one.


7. Pilate's wife's kindness to Mary and Mary Magdalene was touching, but not Scriptural, and not in keeping with the way I envisioned her character (someone afraid of who Jesus was, but not necessarily sympathetic to His situation).


8. Judas came off as a more sympathetic character than I expected.


9. The resurrection scene was powerful and too brief, but it also jarred a bit with my imagination as it moved Jesus seemingly immediately and directly from within the burial clothes to a physically manifested being within and walking from the tomb. Artistic license, of course...I just always picture Him vanishing from the tomb and not appearing until the Marys show up. OTOH, this ending does better explain the rolling away of the stone than my mental picture.


10. The number of popcorn eaters in the theater surprised me. Well, this was a noon showing, so that's probably understandable (we are, indeed, a weak species). But I just couldn't work up an appetite, knowing what was ahead.

Jim Denison on "The Passion"

Jim Denison is the pastor of Park Cities Baptist Church in Dallas, one of the true "megachurches" of our day. Before he went to Park Cities, however, he was the pastor of my home church, First Baptist of Midland. He's one of the smartest guys I've ever known, and a dynamic preacher.

He publishes a daily devotional, and today's issue is devoted to his reaction to "The Passion of the Christ." I won't quote anything here except the last two sentences, which pretty much sums it up for those who can see the movie for what it is:

My take on "The Passion"

I did something today I've never done before: I took off a couple of hours during the day, by myself, and saw a movie... "The Passion of the Christ," to be exact. I've heard so much hype and speculation, much of it from people who haven't seen the movie, and I wanted to judge it for myself, and to be able to provide input to others who might have questions in advance.

I'm still trying to assimilate what I saw and the feelings it engendered in me. It's a very personal film. By that I mean that one's reaction to it will flow directly out of one's personal relationship with God, and it won't really matter what anyone else thinks or says.

In my case, what I saw on the screen was nothing less than the story of a man, who in his very nature is the essence of God but who chose to take on the form of a human, and suffered, and died, and was resurrected in order that I... Eric Siegmund, currently of Midland, Texas, USA... might have the indescribable gift of heirship to the very throne of God, on which my Savior now reigns. I saw played out on the screen what I've known and understood in my heart for decades, but which I now see with a painful, wonderful clarity that was missing 'til now.

If you've read much on this blog, you know that I'm the last person to ascribe much significance to movies, beyond their superficial ability to entertain. It's just another medium...it's the story that matters, and the telling of it can enhance its value, but too often overshadows it, at least with most modern screenplays. In this case, when the essence of the screenplay comes from the very Mind of God, the telling of it can never overshadow the power of the story.

This hasn't stopped humans from trying, over the past two millenia. Whether the medium is the painting by someone like Caraveggio or Raphael, or the music by someone like Bach or Delirious, or the dancing of King David, we've sought to bring worship and honor to God by the works of our hands. Mel Gibson has sought to do the same thing in film. Whether he's succeeded from an artistic perspective, or even a theological one, I'll leave to those more qualified to judge. What I do know is that his offering caused me to move closer to God this afternoon, and for that, I thank him.

Just so you'll know, I'm still not posting...

I had planned to give you a day-by-day account of our recent trip to Santa Fe, but I just realized that would be the blogging equivalent of showing endless family vacation movies to captive houseguests too polite to complain.

That realization has benefits for both of us, by the way. You get to avoid a more-boring-than-usual post, and I don't have to try to organize and draft it. Win-win.

You're not getting off that easily. There are still things that need to be shared, for my sake, if not for yours. After all, I've spent almost a week in one of the strangest places in America, without a computer.

But, not just yet. I'm still trying to get caught up on my real work.

Just so you'll know.

The Prodigal Returneth

We're just back in town, after five days in the alternative universe known as Santa Fe. I've returned with a new limp, a result of the attempted fusion of a ski with a fir tree, and returned to just over 700 unread emails (including 50+ notices of comment spam left on this here blog...anybody else getting mugged like this?). I'll try to get us all caught up on the fun and drama, but that will have to wait awhile.

It's good to go on vacation; it's good to come home!

TTFN

The Gazette staff will be on holiday (sounds so continental, doesn't it?) until next week, attending to items of more pressing importance. In the meantime, feel free to visit the fine establishments linked at right (unless you're reading this in an archive form, in which case you're on your own to find the blogroll), whose offerings are designed to make your spirit soar like an eagle, enhance your already intimidating IQ, and improve your posture.

[Insert your own headline...words fail me]

I try not to nitpick the reporting in our local newspaper...I really do. I doubt that I could do any better, day in and day out. But every now and then, something appears that defies my best attempts to overlook it. To wit, this paragraph lifted from a front-page story in today's edition, about a traffic accident that occurred last night:

A musk ox? Believed stuffed?

See what I mean?

AWS: Off the Wagon

Ha! I knew he couldn't stay away.

Those of you who are more perceptive than the average bear no doubt noticed that I didn't even drop Arguing With Signposts from my blogroll. Nope, I just demoted Bryan down to "The World" while he took his little fling (I guess there's something about the one year mark that brings on the blogging equivalent of a "mid-life crisis"). In fact, I think I'll make him stay there for a while, just to show that he can't toy with our emotions like that. This is penance, boy-o; perhaps you'll think twice next time.

tap...tap...tap...tap

OK, that should do it. Welcome back to The Neighborhood, pal!

[BTW, is it "off the wagon" or "on the wagon"? I never could keep that straight. Gee, that would have been a great plotline for a Seinfeld episode...]

Early Valentine Suprise

MLB surprised me last night with a new Obermeyer ski parka and powder pants, just in time for our annual trek to the mountains. She's so sweet!

I didn't need a new parka. Sure, my old one is waaaay out of style (the gold, purple, green and orange color scheme would look better on, say, Elton John), but I got it on sale (wonder why?) many years ago, and it still works very well. It's a great parka, by Descente, which makes some of the trickest skiwear around. But I was deemed a fashion disaster by the only person whose opinion matters to me, and so I've been updated.

Anyway, I love technical clothing...skiwear, bike clothes, hiking boots and the like. Well-designed clothes, engineered for a specific purpose, is the ultimate example of usability. Website designers could learn some lessons from the folks at North Face or Pearl Izumi or Spyder: function first, then cosmetics. Nothing present that isn't needed, but every need is anticipated and addressed. My new parka has a special pocket for ski goggles, another for 180s and another for "electronics" (complete with a special reinforced cutout through which an antenna can protrude; I suspect it's for an avalanche transmitter, but a little walkie-talkie will fit there as well). You know you've got a great piece of clothing when you have to read a manual to figure out how to wear it.

Come on, snow!

And the Winner is...

The Newfoundland has just been named Best in Show at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. (We were rooting for the Pembroke Welsh Corgi, a great little dog with the added attraction being that we think Abbye has some Corgi in her bloodline.)

The Newfie is a great dog, though, and a crowd fave. Can't argue with that choice! (Abbye, however, was unimpressed.)

Measuring Economic Development Results

On January 25, 2004, in a letter to the editor of the Midland Reporter-Telegram, Barry Horseman (2nd VP of the Midland Development Corporation) took to task those who questioned the value of the results obtained thus far by the MDC in its economic development efforts. The local bloggers over at Jessica's Well quickly jumped on Mr. Horseman's claims, specifically this one:

The discussion centers on whether the "local wages and capital investment" generated by ED-related expenditures/incentives is an appropriate measurement of the success. While I happen to agree that this particular measurement is of dubious value in answering the question (and the reference to a 5-to-1 return seems particularly inappropriate), I was actually more interested in knowing if there is a widely accepted methodology or computation for quantifying the success of ED projects.

With this in mind, I emailed a local banker pal and asked for his insights. He took the weekend to think about it, and then emailed me a link to a research paper entitled "The Net Effects of Large Plant Locations and Expansions On County Employment" (PDF file; size - 471kb). This paper was written in August, 2003, by Kelly D. Edmiston, PhD, an assistant professor in the Department of Economics, Andrew Young School of Policy Studies at Georgia State University.

This paper is pretty readable for the layperson, although it also provides plenty of statistical analysis to satisfy those who insist on seeing the numbers behind the findings. If you are interested knowing more about the implications of "economic development" projects, I recommend reading this paper.

However, I've taken the liberty of providing some excerpts below, to whet your appetite.

First, Dr. Edmiston points out that most economic impact studies don't do a very good job of evaluating the likely effects of plant locations or expansions.

The paper goes on to discuss "forces for agglomeration and dispersion," which determine the extent to which new business is likely to be attracted or repelled after a major plant relocation or expansion. This is an interesting section, but doesn't have a lot of immediate relevance to our local situation, given that we haven't seen any new business of such significance as to call into play the forces described in the paper.

However, an interesting footnote to this section is an analysis of actual jobs created compared to the number initially announced. For newly located plants, actual employment ended up being only 86.2% of the announced totals. Expansion-related jobs were a little more accurately predicted, with the actual number being about 92.5% of announced. I'll let you draw your own conclusions about why the actual numbers don't seem to fulfil the announced ones.

The results of the study get more interesting - and potentially relevant - when considering the impact on county-wide employment.

And then...

But, wait...there's more...

The author then addresses the impact of relocations and expansions on other quantifiable factors, including tax rates:

It's not all bad (or neutral) news, however. Expanding the retail sector, for example, has good significant positive effects:

Finally, Dr. Edmiston's conclusions include this summary (emphasis mine):

There's much more in this study that's worth reading, and it should be considered in its totality. It should be obvious that there are regional factors at work that might make some of the specific conclusions less relevant to our local situation. However, my point in focusing on this study is to raise the question of whether we're using the best possible indicators of success for our ED efforts. Those indicators are accessible, and I hope that the MDC is taking advantage of them. Unfortunately, Mr. Horseman's aforementioned letter doesn't give much assurance that this is the case.

Incidentally, I have contacted (or will, once this is posted) Dr. Edmiston to give him the opportunity to weigh in on my summary of his research, and to point out any apparent misinterpretation of his work. This is a complex area of study, and I'll be the first to admit my relative ignorance regarding its details.

Lorem Ipsum EDC

OK...perhaps I'm losing my mind, or my eyesight, or both, but visit the new Midland Economic Development website, look at the [very] fine print immediately to the right of the "Welcome" banner, and convince me that that print isn't the traditional "lorem ipsum" dummy text we all use when we don't have real content for a layout.

The really fascinating thing (hey, I'm watching a dog show; cut me some slack) is that the second line of this tiny text appears to begin "nitpicking nit," which I believe is a subliminal message directed to the critics of the MDC.

Can you tell...

...that I'm on top of my PHP homework, caught up on my day job and finished with today's honey-do list? It's an unaccustomed luxury to just sit and blog. (I can't decide if this should be a warning or an apology.)

Blogging the Snobs

If you find and visit this guy's blog via a Google search, you won't be able to leave a comment. At least, not until you've proven your worth by browsing his site.

Seems a little extreme to me, but perhaps he's got more traffic than he can handle, a "problem" with which I'm unacquainted.

The real fly in his ointment appears to be that people are leaving comments on old entries. There again, due to the, um, timeless nature of my postings, that's just not a problem for me.

Seriously, though...I've never even thought about the need to disable or limit comments on older entries.

[Link courtesy of Simon Willison, who has additional insights on the problems sometimes caused by Google's PageRank algorithm.]

Blogging The Dogs

The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show got underway this evening. It's the 128th edition of this event, which has become an annual staple for viewing in our household. It's on the USA Channel, as if you didn't know.

As I type this, we're laughing at the Staffordshire Terrier, which resembles nothing as much as a mutant sheep with eyes set on the sides of his head. Except...no, that wasn't the Staffordshire after all. It was a Bedlington Terrier. I trust that all the Staffordshire owners out there in the blogosphere will accept my deepest apologies, and that all the Bedlington owners will accept my sincerest condolences.

Blogging a dog show isn't quite the same as blogging the Super Bowl. For one thing, the halftime show is bound to be less titillating <snicker>. Also, the winners of the dog show are generally better dancers than the football equivalents, and the losers are much better sports (although there's no telling what kind of rumbles the handlers get into, backstage. For more insight to this issue, I recommend renting "Best in Show."). However, many of the commercials have dog themes, much to the disgust of the catpeople viewers, who shouldn't be watching anyway, but who can't overcome their own feelings of envy.

Dog shows have their own secret and mysterious set of rules, procedures and protocol. If you're really curious - and insomniac - you get some orientation at "A Dog's Life," a blog maintained by a handler and dog show aficionado. Scroll down and look for the last set of entries in the right column. Just don't make any Borzoi jokes and I think you'll get along fine.

eChurch - Still a Dubious Concept

Last November, a post entitled "We Know More Than Our Pastors: The Rise Of Spiritual Blogging" came to my attention, and I responded to it here.

The author of the original post, Tim Bednar, received quite a bit of feedback to his premise that "spiritual blogging" is transforming the Church. In fact, he notified me via comment that he's updated his post in response to that feedback and additional contemplation. The updated essay (version 3) is found here.

I read the updated version with interest, as I disagreed with the original premise. Unfortunately, I find nothing to mitigate the hubris that characterized the first edition. Take this, for example:

Setting aside for a moment the fact that countless millions of the members of the Church have never even heard of blogging, let alone been influenced by it, there's no evidence that the concept of "e-church" is transforming anything, let alone the Body of Christ.

There are five basic purposes of the Church: worship, ministry, evangelism, discipleship and fellowship. I've always believed that if a congregation is contemplating engaging in an activity that isn't rooted in at least one of these purposes, then it has no business pursuing that activity. I think it's worthwhile to consider if and how the e-church can be useful in accomplishing these purposes, as the results will validate (or not) the premise of Tim's post.

• Worship - This can be defined as experiencing the presence of God - to recognize His holiness, majesty and love, and to praise and thank Him for His gift of salvation through His Son, Jesus Christ. Although we often think of worship as a collective endeavor, it's actually very personal. Worship doesn't require the presence of other people, and this is the one purpose that could conceivably be carried out online (however odd it might seem; I mean, why go to the trouble of using a keyboard to worship God when you can use mind and voice?). Is the loss of corporate worship a bad thing? I think it is, but that's just me. I enjoying worshipping in the presence of other believers, even though the actual worship itself is between me and my Lord. But there are plenty of good reasons to worship alone, and we need to be doing that as well. However, I submit that worshipping via blogging smacks a little of exhibitionism, although I'm willing to stipulate that it's the heart of the worshipper
  and not the mind of the onlooker that governs.


• Ministry - This can be defined as responding to physical, spiritual, emotional and intellectual needs in a way that bears testimony to the love of God for all people. This is more of a gray area in our discussion. Counseling can be ministry; listening can be, as well. Both of these can be accomplished via the interactive features of blogging. However, that encompasses only a tiny part of the universal ministry responsibilities of the Church. Blogging won't feed the poor, heal the sick in body, comfort the widows, clothe the orphans. At some point, feet have to hit the ground and hands have to handle, lift, caress, work, build. The "sanitary ministry" of blogging encouragement out to a hurting world, and expecting that will do the trick is a pathetic picture, and bears no resemblance to the sacrifices Jesus calls us to.


• Evangelism - This is proclaiming through words and actions the good news of God's redemptive love and saving grace. Notice the reference to "words and actions." The old saying - be a witness to God's love to everyone you meet; use words, if necessary - holds true. Now, blogging is a great tool for sharing the Gospel, no doubt about it. Granted, it's an "opt in" approach, where you have to rely on those who need the message to seek it out and read it, and that's a big shortcoming. But I suspect that many of us who blog are better writers than we are speakers (OK...I fall into that category; I'm sure you're brilliant at both), and in our writing we can make all the right points in just the right way in order to give the reader the best possible chance of making the right decision. And there's nothing wrong with that. Only it doesn't really recognize the reality that our words are nothing, except what the Holy Spirit makes them to be. And there's also the rather disturbing reality that what we do speaks much more loudly than what we say (or write). So, once again, while we can take some baby evangelism steps by being "spiritual bloggers," the real strides are made by those who are taking real strides...getting out and mingling with the other sinners, and showing how the transforming grace of Jesus can make a difference in life.


• Discipleship - OK, now we're getting somewhere. Discipleship is providing opportunities for spiritual growth and development, and for application of individual gifts and abilities as provided by the Holy Spirit. A big part of discipleship is teaching, answering questions, discussing issues from a spiritual perspective, challenging and encouraging one another. We can do that online, via our blogs! Except... Well, there's the tricky issue of credentials. How do we know that the faceless blogger who's instructing us in the arcane issues of theology really knows her stuff? Granted, we have that same issue in meatspace, but at least there we can watch the person and see if their demeanor and actions are consistent with their words. We can get to know the person in a more holistic fashion (if I may be forgiven the use of a new-agey term) if we can actually interact with them face-to-face on an ongoing basis. What's the term I'm looking for? Ah...relationship. You can have one online, but, really, it's not the same.


• Fellowship - This can be defined as providing opportunities for encouragement, Christian love and support through association with others. Of all the purposes, fellowship comes the closest to being achievable in a virtual setting. It's people reacting to people, and this doesn't have to take place face-to-face. In fact, I believe that the internet has been the greatest possible boon to those who are lonely, through no choice of their own, and who have found social interaction in an online medium. I'm often encouraged by those I encounter via this blog, and I hope I'm doing a decent job of encouraging others, as it should be a two-way street. This is especially important for Christians in "frontier areas" (that may be halfway around the world, or in Newark, NJ...anyplace where a believer feels isolated and alone in his belief). But (there's always a "but" with me, isn't there?), I worry about the possibility of substituting online fellowship for face-to-face interaction, when such opportunities are real and accessible. Blogging should not be a substitute for Christian fellowship, but rather an extension. (Again, physical limitations may overrule that ideal...but they really don't apply to most of us.)

So, let's recap. On an e-church-to-real-Church-equivalency scale of 1 to 10, with 10 meaning that the e-church provides a pretty decent proxy for a New Testament model of the Church, here's my ratings:

• Worship - 5
• Ministry - 2
• Evangelism - 4
• Discipleship - 5
• Fellowship - 7

Coincidentally (or not? hmmm....), our pastor's message yesterday morning was entitled "How the Church is Built." His definition of the Church is "people in whom Christ is working and through whom His work is done," and this definition can well apply to the online community. So it's not a question of whether a community of spiritual bloggers (if, indeed, there is such a thing) is a part of the Church. We're a diverse group, but, again quoting my pastor, "we're not held together by our theology, politics or programs...we are held together by our Savior."

Where I draw the line is at the point of suggesting that the e-church is somehow superior to, a successor to, or the ultimate evolution of what Jesus Christ commissioned and was modeled for us two millenia ago. God showed us what happens when man contrives to build a structure that he thinks will put him on equal footing with God, and the pride that crumbled along with the Tower of Babel is no different than that which gives rise to modern day statements of superiority in "how church is done."

In closing, I'll quote again from Tim's post:

Ecclesiastes 1:9 provides a better response to this claim than I ever could. With all due respect to Tim, there is nothing new under the sun, including the foolishness and pride of man.

Last night, our congregation held its quarterly observance of the Lord's Supper. We don't take communion frequently, like many churches, but when we do, we make a big deal out of it. We set aside the entire worship service, with every aspect focusing attention on the signficance of Jesus' shed blood and broken body. Last night, we formed small prayer groups of 2, 3 or 4 people and interceded for one another. The sound of hundreds of whispered prayers was a sweet and moving soundtrack of praise and worship. At the end of the service, we held hands across the room, and 700 voices joined in singing The Lord's Prayer...our tradition for closing our observance of the Lord's Supper.

If and when the alleged e-church can replicate even 1% of the spirit of that time, I'll gladly alter my opinion. I'm not, however, holding my breath.

I welcome your thoughts and comments.

Appliance Repair Service Recommendation

Since becoming a business owner, I understand better than ever the value of referrals and recommendations. Almost all of my business comes from such referrals. This tends to make me more sensitive to the importance of sharing good encounters with other small businesses.

We've got our refrigerator back, strong and healthy, thanks to Jimmy Wood, owner of Jimmy's Appliances in Midland (phone - 689.7853). Mr. Wood was punctual, professional, extremely competent and quite reasonable, cost-wise. If you need after-market appliance repair in the Midland area, I recommend him highly.

This experience also points up one of the good things about blogging: I found out about Mr. Wood from a fellow blogger, John Comeaux, the proprietor of Lafayette Life who left Midland some time ago for Louisiana. Many thanks, John (and Jimmy thanks you, too; he was sorry to hear that you'd left town)!

Have you had a pleasant experience with a business lately? I submit that we should be as willing to share those good encounters as we are to complain about the bad ones! Both kinds of feedback are important.

Movie Review: "The Dish"

We rented "The Dish" through NetFlix and watched it this afternoon, and I must tell you that we were very pleasantly surprised.

This Australian-made movie is an unpretentious and refreshing look at man's proudest scientific achievement: the moonlanding and walk that took place in 1969. The fact that the film was made in Australia is important, as the perspective of the story comes from the radio telescope installation in the middle of a "sheep paddock" located outside of Parkes, Australia. Most of the signal for the 1969 television broadcast of the moonwalk came to the world via the Parkes dish.

The movie stars Sam Neill ("Jurassic Park"), Patrick Warburton ("Men in Black II," "Seinfeld") and an Australian cast which hits absolutely perfect notes for every character in every situation. This movie succeeds in being charming, funny, suspenseful, poignant and uplifting. It skillfully weaves actual radio and television coverage into the live action, and the scientific detail is spot-on, without being overwhelming.

I don't know how we missed this movie when it was released in 2000; it perhaps never made it to Midland. But, in this case, better late than never. I recommend it for the entire family...with one caveat: there's some occasional coarse language, and one totally unneccesary occurrence of the f-word. Otherwise, this could have been one of the best PG or perhaps even G-rated live action movies ever made.

(Incidentally, the review on IMDB [see link, above] points out that NASA had the moonwalk broadcast on a six second delay, in case anything went wrong. I'm sure there are many who would vote for letting NASA handle future Super Bowl halftime broadcasts!)

Adios, AWS...?

The blog circle of life continues, as Bryan is shuttering the excellent Arguing With Signposts (on his one-year anniversary, no less).

He's playing the "busy" card. Like the rest of us aren't... hang on a minute; I've got to listen to Leno's monologue... I mean, we're all up to our eyeballs... just a sec -- I'm going to take a short nap to clear my head...

I guess my blogroll wasn't big enough for two Bryans after all.

The blogosphere is diminished with the passing of AWS.

West Texas Water Rights & The Election

Just opened my mailbox to find dueling flyers from Seliger and Edwards. Seliger claims that he is "the only runoff candidate willing to take a strong stand to protect our local water," while Edwards states that only he "has signed the pledge to 'Protect Our West Texas Water.'"

Well, I've seen the TV ad where Seliger says point blank that he opposes both Boone Pickens and Rio Nuevo in their plans to sell underground water supplies. He says it again in his flyer.

Edwards' flyer, OTOH, says this: "He will fight the big-city politicians who threaten our water."

Gotta tell you, Kirk...I'm a lot less worried about those "big-city politicians" than I am about the mid-sized city business types and hipster doofuses who are trying to influence the former. Where do you stand with respect to them?

Betrayal

Is there a worse feeling than that which comes from knowing you've been betrayed? Your first realization that years of trust and devotion have been for naught brings a dull ache that can't be easily assuaged, and you wonder if life is really worth the pain, and you wonder if you'll ever again be able to trust.

I'm speaking, of course, about household appliances. Right on the heels of our treadmill woes, we've discovered that our refrigerator is not getting as cold as it should. The fridge (or "icebox," as some around here are still wont to call it) is not that old, probably less than ten years. I know people who have refrigerators whose lives have spanned decades, and they're still going strong. This is just not right.

My old friend and former co-worker Joe A. Watson (the "A" distinguished him from Joe M. Watson, another co-worker. Joe A. was an accountant -- "A," "Accountant," get it? -- while Joe M. was in computer support. "M" for "Machine"...duh.) once said that the first true test of a marriage was the point at which the small household appliances received at the bridal shower began to break. It is at that point that a couple realizes that things related to a marriage are fragile.

Well, that's not exactly relevant here, but it does tend to underscore an important truth: there are some things in life we trust, probably more than we should...but...still. And refrigerators, clothes dryers and microwave ovens (and treadmills) fall into that category. When they go wrong -- when they turn on you -- you lose a little bit of that winsome naiveity that all your friends envy you for. Life will never again have quite the same shine around the edges, and pretty much all you have left is blogging.

<sigh>

Kevin McCullough on Gay Marriage

Blogging bud and syndicated radio talk show host Kevin McCullough has a new column over at World Net Daily, pointing out why the recent Massachusetts' Supreme Court ruling is likely to be the catalyst that forces the issue at the state level...and the outcome won't be what those who applaud the ruling hoped for.

I think Kevin is probably right on both accounts. I really don't like the idea of having to use the US Constitution to deal with issues like this, but it appears that an amendment is becoming the only way to ensure that the belief of a vast majority of Americans is not trampled on by a vocal few.

However, I must take mild exception to one thing Kevin writes, and that is in regard to John Kerry's reaction to the Massachusetts' ruling. While I am no Kerry fan -- that's an understatement, in fact -- I feel obligated to point out that Kerry went on record yesterday as not agreeing with the court ruling. See this this article in The Salt Lake Tribune...

Now, whether or not you believe Mr. Kerry is speaking in sincerity, at the very least this quote should be held in reserve in case it becomes relevant in the future. God forbid.

New Blog in the Swamp

My bud John Comeaux, whom I formerly reckoned as having more sense, has succumbed to the sultry song of the blog siren, and brings us Lafayette Life. I don't know if my blogroll is big enough for two Louisiana bloggers (Wall of Sleep being the other), but seeing as how John is a former Midlander, current Mac geek (for now, anyway) and all-around good guy...heck, I'm willing to give it a shot.

But consider this your first warning, John: anymore posts about abandoning your Mac for Windoze, and you're history, dude. ;-)

Pythagoras? Now, which elf was he?

Our treadmill broke this morning. Oh, you can still run on it, but it no longer inclines.

Now, if you're sane, you're probably wondering, "sooooo...?" Because, obviously, no one in their right mind would intentionally run uphill. Well, don't tell MLB, but I'm with you on this one. It's hard enough to get through a treadmill workout on level, um, ground without pretending to run uphill, too. Plus, the treadmill has this fancy-schmancy video display that shows a guy running along, ostensibly a training partner, but he never even breaks a sweat on an incline. Talk about demoralizing.

But that's neither here nor there. The point of this post is that I no longer remember any trigonometry, and I'm deeply conflicted about it.

See, when the treadmill's incline feature decided to depart, it left a little reminder: the running surface is imperceptibly angled upward. The digital readout says it's zero, but the statistics display also shows that we're gaining about 60 feet in elevation for every mile run...a measurement that was confirmed by my heartrate after four miles this afternoon. (Actually, it was a relief to realize that I had been running uphill, rather than simply and abruptly losing the ability to metabolize oxygen, as I began to fear.)

Being the OCD type of person my friends think I am, I decided that I needed to know the exact angle of the incline with which I had been battling. I knew that such computation would involve minutiae such as angles, lengths and hypotenuses (hypotenii?). I even recalled a formula: the sum of the squares of the sides of a right triangle is equal to the square of the hypotenuse. Using a spare Excel spreadsheet I had laying around for just such emergencies, I was able to compute the hypotenuse for my treadmill-based triangle (251 feet increase in elevation for 4.16 miles covered). With that in hand, I realized that I had...nothing. I had no idea of what to do next.

Well, I didn't even get that far without help. I once knew how to calculate by hand the square root of any number, but no longer. What I do know how to do is insert an Excel function to calculate the square root for me, which I think you'll agree is one indicator of a civilized society.

I was stumped as to the final answer. So I did what any 21st century math-impaired person would do. I googled "trigonometry calculator" and found this site. It has a form into which you plug the measurements you know, and it computes the rest, using some obscure derivative of the Pythagorean Theorum, a mathematical formula that was devised by ancient sadists intent upon torturing high school juniors, if and when high school ever got invented. The site has a link that purports to show you the proof of the Pythagorean Theorum, but I didn't click it. I don't care. I know longer have room in my brain for things like this. I was proud that I knew that trigonometry could solve my problem, and I found the solution, and that was enough for me. (Yes, it has occured to me that the math behind the trigonometry calculator was actually programmed by indentured water buffalo, or worse yet, the guys who thought up the BCS bowl ranking system. Once again, I don't care.)

It's said that any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. In my case, high school trig trumps David Copperfield any day.

Oh, in case you're wondering...it's .65°.

Badge?! I don't need no steenkin...or do I?

Deb Thompson blogs at the excellent Write Lightning, but her real job is as a writer and a "self-publishing journalist" (my words, not hers). She brings up an interesting issue that I have never considered: why is that blogs seem to be generically excluded when it comes to getting press credentials for various events?

She provides a link to the blog of someone who is responsible for issuing press credentials, and that person is seeking some guidance. If you have any actual experience or even an educated opinion in this area, there are several of us who'd like to hear your insights.

On the surface, this would seem to be a no-brainer, given the proliferation of unqualified journalistic wannabes (me included...the unqualified part, if not the wannabe bit). But there are also some eminently qualified blogger/journalist types who may not be working for a mainstream publication but who have (or deserve...but that's another issue) extensive reach and who could bring significant and intelligent coverage to certain events. Seems like an area that needs a little more flexibility in decision-making policy.

Nothing Succeeds Like Firepower

Paul over at The Parson's Pantry has a great illustration of the reason why you might want to invest in a .45 ACP over a .223 Remington if you're seeking something to dissuade a bad guy from getting Medieval on your personage.

Memo to self: Be sure to call ahead before paying Paul a visit in the middle of the night! ;-)

Truly Changed...or Merely Churched?

Our pastor's sermon yesterday morning was entitled "Reaching the Radically Unchurched," and it seemed especially relevant in view of the many bloggers who are posting about the "emerging church" and how to reach people in a post-modern culture. Once again, I was behind a TV camera and didn't catch much of the message the first time around, so I gave another listen to it this morning.

The "outsiders" Paul refers to in the Colossians passage quoted above are those who are lost. They are the "radically unchurched," and the key to reaching them is to make our walk and our talk consistent with the Gospel. Our very words are to be such as to make others thirsty (thus the allusion to salt)...thirsty for Living Water.

The pastor outlined several important issues, but I want to focus on a factor he called "authenticity." As he put it, people don't come to our churches because they're afraid they'll turn out like us. Our conduct must be consistent with our confession.

In practical terms, here's how to distinguish those who are truly changed by the Gospel from those who are merely churched:

• To the Merely Churched, church is a place to go on Sundays; to the Truly Changed, Church is who we are every day.


• To the Merely Churched, church is a hotel for saints; to the Truly Changed, church is a hospital for sinners.


• To the Merely Churched, worship is getting a blessing; to the Truly Changed, worship is offering ourselves to God.


• To the Merely Churched, evangelism is for the preachers and the gifted; to the Truly Changed, it's a commission to be fulfilled by every believer.


• The Merely Churched are defined by behavior: what you do and don't do; the Truly Changed are defined by belief, which leads to right action.


• To the Merely Churched, Christianity means that Christ is part of your life; to the Truly Changed, Christ is your life.


• To the Merely Churched, the Bible is important to help one's life; to the Truly Changed, the Bible is sufficient to guide all of life.

In his book "Prophetic Untimeliness," Os Guinness warns the modern church not to seek marketing triumphs over mission, nor to let talk of reinventing the church replace prayer for revival. All too often nowadays, the Church is making the mistake of watering down the message in order to somehow become "relevant," as if the original Gospel message can't be understood and accepted by a post-modern culture*. The irony is that this present generation, like all others before it, is really seeking something that's beyond relevance...it wants a return to "thus sayeth the Lord."

There's much more meat in this message -- all of this is predicated on our ability as Christians to form meaningful relationships, to listen before we preach, and to remember that the leaves don't move the wind...the Holy Spirit is the engine behind it all. But at the very least, it's instructive to consider the extent to which we as individuals fall on one side of the other of the line between the "Merely Churched" and the "Truly Changed."

Super Bowl Halftime Exposure

If there was any doubt before, Janet's performance last night erased any challenge to the Jacksons' claim to the title of First Family of Skank.

Is there any question that this never-was was seeking parity of "exposure" with the partakers of The Kiss? What a pathetic display of me-tooism.

I'm seeing calls for legal or regulatory action against those responsible, and I tend to agree that CBS needs to be called on the carpet by the FCC, with at least a hefty fine for the violation of the public's trust as to what is reasonably expected viewing during a sporting event. CBS'll claim that they didn't know and didn't have control, but that's akin to claiming that they didn't know that cuddling with a rattlesnake in a sleeping bag is dangerous to one's well-being.

Of course, I didn't actually see the mini-striptease when it happened, even though I did watch the game from start to finish, and that's the basis for one last response on this issue, to those parents who are yelling loudly about their small children being exposed (literally) to such scenes. Granted, it shouldn't have happened, and you do have the right to expect such things will not appear during a specified period of time on network TV.

At the same time, just because something is on TV doesn't mean it's worth watching. If the appearance of Kid Rock, Janet Jackson, et al didn't raise any warning flags with you, then I submit that you need to be doing more homework, and exercising more control over the remote. IOW, don't wait until television lives down to your worst expectations.

I'll close on a somewhat positive note: the elder Janet Jackson could learn a thing or two about class from Beyonce Knowles. The comparison of the two proves that wisdom doesn't necessarily accompany age. Despite being saddled forever with her association with the (now-dictionary-ized) "bootylicious" adjective, Beyonce knows how to rise above those baser instincts. As far as I'm concerned, she can be America's official designated singer of the Star Spangled Banner from now on.

SBCW - Part XIII

Doomed by a short kickoff? What a ignominious way to go...if indeed NE can capitalize on it. OK, 50 seconds to go and I predict the Patriots win it on a last second field goal. Too bad Carolina never found a pass rush.

• 14 seconds to go and Vinatieri is warming up on the sideline...by throwing the football? Adam, you're a kicker. Foot, leg...remember?


• Eight seconds to go, and Carolina just gave up the inevitable long pass, inside the 25 yard line. 41 yard field goal to win the game, coming right up.


• Pats win, as predicted just minutes ago. Turned out to be a pretty decent game after all.

That's it; no more for tonight. It was fun, though. Let's do it again next year. Oh, who won the commercial derby? The standings after the first half didn't change.

Update: Jen agrees with our #1 commercial pick, as do the guys over at Boots & Sabers, sort of.

SBCW - Part XII

Well, so far the second quarter has presented a superior ball game, but an inferior group of commercials. In fact, I'm underwhelmed overall by this year's offerings. There's about six minutes of game time remaining for a turnaround.

• Uh, oh. It doesn't look good for the underdogs, as NE scores a touchdown and a two-point conversion, giving them a seven point lead with just under three minutes to go. I'm not writing off Carolina just yet, but...


• Another Cadillac commercial? Sheesh.


• Two minute warning, and Carolina has moved smartly into Patriot territory.


• Did Pepsi need permission from Jimmy Hendrix's estate to allude to him as a child in its commercial?


• Carolina's on the NE 15 yard line. Amazing. We could be headed for OT. Hope they've saved some good commercials!


• Speaking of Hendrix, I read on an unnamed blog last week that he is an "overrated" guitar player. Puh-lease. Sure, there are plenty of folks who can do with a guitar what he did then...but he did it first. It's far easier to copy the licks than to originate them.


• This game is TIED!

More to come...

SBCW - Part XI

The Pats have first-and-goal, and most of this drive has been on the ground. Carolina really needs to hold 'em to a field goal here.

Which they didn't. They did even better, intercepting Brady in the end zone.

• Shards O'Glass is a fake product with a real website, part of a real ad campaign, presenting a good parody of tobacco advertising. "What if everybody advertised like tobacco companies?" It's a good question. (Campaign is sponsored by The American Legacy Foundation, which goes hard over at thetruth.com.)


• What an UNBELEEVABLE TD pass by Delhomme for Carolina! What was it...85 yards? Yep...and it's a Super Bowl record for the longest pass. Carolina has the lead for the first time, 22-21.


• "Performance SUV." The slogan of a car company hopelessly looking for a demographic. AKA, Cadillac.

More to come...

SBCW - Part X

We're now in the fourth quarter...it's downhill from here. The Pats just scored a TD, so it's 21-10. What's that song Dandy Dan used to sing?

• Cadillac commercials are just too Zen-like for me.


• Well, slap me silly. Davis just scored on an amazing run for Carolina. This baby's not over with, yet. Still more than 12 minutes left, but they just missed the two point conversion, which could come back to bite 'em.


• I can dig a combination of Mastercard and Homer Simpson. Priceless.


• If you haven't seen "The American Chopper" on The Discovery Channel, you might not be getting the full effect of the series of AOL commercials touting its high-speed internet connection service. The commercials are great from the perspective of speaking to the "insiders"...but I wonder just how many there are?

More to come...

SBCW - Part IX

So, parents...how did you explain the Cialis commercial to your kiddos? What's next...time lapse photography demonstrating the efficaciousness of the drug?

• Four minutes to go in the 3rd quarter, which thus far is as boring as the first quarter. I trust that the fourth quarter will be as exciting as the second.


• According to Chevy's website, the SSR starts at $41,995. That means you can buy three of them for the price you'd pay for one of the new Ford GTs, according to this site.


• End of third quarter...NE knocking on the door. I don't think Carolina can overcome a 10 point deficit, so the next three or four plays will possibly decide the game. (How's that for going out on a limb?)


• The Lexus now has "dimpled panels on its undercarriage"... just like a golf ball. Will wonders never cease? My Neon has a dimpled muffler. Does that count?

More to come...

SBCW - Part VIII

Is it my imagination, or was the halftime shorter than usual? (OK, it seemed to last forever, but what would you expect for an act featuring Kid Rock and Janet... no, Mich...no, it was Janet...Jackson?). Anyway, we're back in action...

Oh, in case you're just tuning in, this program note: "SBCW" means "Super Bowl Commercial Watch." We'll mention the game's high points (assuming, of course, that there are any), but this is really a review of the commercials.

• Sierra Mist tries it again, this time with the guy and his dog doing cannonballs into a water pitcher and glass, respectively. I'd seen this one previously on a commercial preview. (Only in America) It's an improvement over the overheated kilt-guy, but not much.


• I had heard that the Staples commercial, featuring Joe Viterelli ("Analyze This," "Analyze That") was good...and it was. Probably a keeper for second half honors.


• MLB just reminded me of a first half commercial that should have gotten honors...the Fed Ex spot featuring an employee-as-alien. You can't go wrong with employee-as-aliens. The only thing better would be an animal-employee-as-alien.

More to come...

SBCW - Part VII

OK, let's recap the first half. After an intensive consultation with MLB, we've arrived at a consensus for the Top 5 Commercials of the First Half. To wit:

5. The donkey-as-Clydesdale wannabe (Bud)


4. The oldtimers fight for tater chips (Lays)


3. The kids-with-soap-in-mouths (Chevy SSR)


2. The Olympic V-Ball players (thank you, dear!) (Visa)


1. The groin-munching mutt (Bud Light)

More to come...

SBCW - Part VI

I lied; I'm back before halftime, because I feel compelled to pose this question for Carolina's secondary. How do you let a receiver get behind you with 30 seconds to go in the quarter, and the opposing team 60 yards from the end zone? If you're counting on Vinatieri going 0-for-5, you're going to be sorely disappointed.

Especially since Brady is going to throw another touchdown pass.

14-7, New England, halftime.

Seriously...take a break.

Addendum: I posted too soon. Thanks to a short squib kick by New England, and a long run by Stephen Davis, Carolina kicks a field goal on the last play of the half.

Updated score: 14-10, New England, halftime.

Really.

SBCW - Part V

Pats lead 7-0 with three minutes left in the second quarter.

• Visa's pretty well tuned into the demographics of this game, with their presentation of the US Olympic Women's Volleyball team - wearing those teeny little, um, uniforms - playing beach v-ball...in the snow. Tagline: "Can't wait for the Summer Olympics? Neither can we."


• Jake Delhomme is 1-9 passing, for a total of 1 yard.


• Program Note: I will not be blogging halftime. At least not in [relatively] live fashion.


• Holy ****! Did you know that the new Chevy SSR's roof retracted like that? Well, I didn't. [And neither, apparently, did a whole lineup of 10-year-olds in the commercial with bars of soap in their mouths. Use your imagination.]


• The Lay's potato chip commercial featuring the two old geezers - well, one geezer and one geezerette - competing in slow motion for a bag of chips was pretty good. Might make the top 10.


• Tie ball game! Carolina scores on a long pass with a minute to go in the half. Good stuff...that's more like it.

More to come...but not until after halftime. G'head; take a break.

SBCW - Part IV

Yawn. A sideline challenge...the most boring part of any NFL game. And, of course, the challenge was unsuccessful. It did, however, allow for a couple of additional commercials.

• OK, Bud Light just hit a new low: the farting sleigh horse. I'm not prepared to describe it further. But, kiddies, the safety message is serious: carry a candle on a sleigh at your own risk.


• Adam Vinatieri, the field goal kicker for the Patriots, is now 0-for-4 for indoor field goals, and all four misses came at Reliant Stadium. Hmm. Sad that that's the most interesting storyline of this game thus far.


• Just announced: "This is the longest we have ever gone without a score in a Super Bowl." Folks, history is being made right before our eyes. <yawn>


• OK, the Pats are on the board first, after a Carolina fumble. The 0-0 pool person can unclench and hit the bean dip now.

More to come...

SBCW - Part III

Two minutes into the second quarter, and the highlight is a 51 yard punt by...um, I can't remember. But it was exciting.

• Pepsi and iTunes are partnering to give out a million free music downloads. Everyone's heard about that already, I suspect. Don't know how I feel about the commercial using "I Fought The Law" as a theme song. But, to be honest, this has never been a hot button for me.


• Mitsubishi Motor Company just ran an interesting concept commercial. You don't get to see the end of it, not yet anyway. But if you go to this website, you can see the whole thing. The site came right up for me, and the Flash version of the commercial played quickly, too. Could mean that not many people are multitasking at this point in the game.


• MLB just commented on what a boring game this is, although she observed that whoever has those numbers in the office pool is bound to be happy. She's paying only peripheral attention to the game; she's engaged in cutting up 20 years of t-shirts to make an, um, interesting quilt.

More to come...

SBCW - Part II

End of first quarter...tied at nought.

• The kid in the Sierra Mist commercial is exactly right: the sight, nay, the very thought of a big guy in a kilt cooling his nether regions over a refrigerated sidewalk grate is, well, just wrong.


• After the first quarter, Carolina has -8 yards passing. Impressive.


• OTOH, the Pats just got off a 22 yard punt. High school football at its most mediocre.


• Another animal-centric commercial of note: donkey-as-Clydesdale for Budweiser. It's a good twist; instead of animals impersonating people, we now have animals impersonating other animals. The leg-hair extensions are a nice touch, btw.

More to come...

Super Bowl Commercial Watch

Well, I'm putting this in the Sports category, but it's really more interesting than sports...at least where this event is concerned. The Big Game is a dud, thus far (we're midway through the first quarter as I write), but we've seen some pretty good commercials already.

• The Bud Light groin-biting mutt made MLB and I laugh out loud, as did the Pepsi grizzly-bear-getting-carded-to-buy-a-six-pack commercial. Animals in anthropomorphic mode are always good bets for getting laughs.


• The Fat Guy is already lusting for a Ford GT; get in line, big guy; while you're out getting enchiladas, I'm running the numbers! I suspect that the price tag for 200mph and 0-60 in 3.3 seconds is just a little bit higher than I can swing.


• Can the guy who plays Wolverine really be serious about tracking down Wolfman?

More to come...