"The Producers" - Laughing at Nazis

The 2005 incarnation of The Producers is 46 minutes -- almost 50% -- longer than the original version, released in 1968. Coincidentally, that's about the amount of time it took me to decide that our journey to Odessa (it's not showing in Midland) wasn't wasted.

If you like Mel Brooks's movies and sense of humor, you'll like The Producers. Even if you don't, there's a good chance you'll still be entertained by the acting of folks like Nathan Lane, Will Ferrell (the movie started to get some life when Ferrell finally appeared) and Gary Beach (who appears in his first movie since 1999, but who won a Tony award in 2001 for the same part in the Broadway adaptation of the movie). But Mel's fingerprints are all over this movie -- the pacing, the double entendres, even the song lyrics will seem familiar and comfortable to anyone who's seen Blazing Saddles or Young Frankenstein.

The movie's a bit of cotton candy, not meant to be taken seriously. As such, I don't want to attempt to imbue it with too much social significance. However, as I watched some expert lampooning of Adolph Hitler and his Nazi movement, I couldn't help thinking that Brooks's genius extends beyond the ability to make people laugh; he's able to use comedy to deflate the ambition and self-importance of those who embrace the perverted philosophy espoused by Hitler. If we as a society can routinely find symbols like the swastika foolish and laughable, perhaps we can deflate their "value" more effectively than the most self-righteous politically-correct outrage. But, like I said, I doubt that the movie has such heady aspirations.

Did we enjoy it? Yeah, overall. It's a "mature" comedy, not really suitable for family viewing despite a comment to the contrary on IMDB.com. Take the PG-13 rating literally. It relies on sight gags and slapstick...not a lot of subtlety. And if you're offended by outrageously flamingly gay characters, you'll want to skip this one completely (some of the most hilariously tasteless scenes involve those characters). And if you do see it, be sure to stay through all the credits, for two reasons. One is Will Ferrel's "moving" rendition of one of the songs in the movie; the other is...well, I won't spoil it for you.

Technorati tags: The Producers

An Unexpected Musical Pleasure

Kid Creole and the Coconuts -- Heart of Gold, set to the tune of Simon & Garfunkle's El Condor Pasa.

Best Wishes to a Fellow Blogger

By this time tomorrow evening, Jen will be a newlywed. I've never met her, but I've been a fan for a couple of years, and I can safely say that her new husband has acquired a "pearl of great price." She's a lovely young woman, and I pray for them the great and wonderful blessings God will bestow upon those who seek to follow Him in all things.

Jen was a model of proper behavior for an unmarried Christian woman; I'm sure she'll be a model of Christian marriage. I can't wait to read about her new life!

Top 10 C.S. Lewis Quotes

2005 seems to have turned out to be The Year of C.S. Lewis, thanks to the box office success of The Chronicles of Narnia. So I wasn't surprise when an email arrived today from something called tothesource listing the "Top 10 C.S. Lewis Quotes." The thing is, Lewis is eminently quotable, and I figure you might find something of interest in the following list:

10. "Regarding the debate about faith and works: It's like asking which blade in a pair of scissors is most important."


9. "Man's conquest of Nature turns out, in the moment of its consummation, to be Nature's conquest of Man."


8. "A young man who wishes to remain a sound Atheist cannot be too careful of his reading. There are traps everywhere--'Bibles laid open, millions of surprises,' as Herbert says, 'fine nets and stratagems.' God is, if I may say it, very unscrupulous."


7. "We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive."


6. "Now is our chance to choose the right side. God is holding back to give us that chance. It won't last forever. We must take it or leave it."


5. "Human beings, all over the earth, have this curious idea that they ought to behave in a certain way, and can't really get rid of it."


4. "Try to exclude the possibility of suffering which the order of nature and the existence of free-wills involve, and you find that you have excluded life itself."


3. "Then he [Aslan, the Lion] isn't safe?" said Lucy.
   
   "Safe?" said Mr. Beaver; "don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good."


2. "If the solar system was brought about by an accidental collision, then the appearance of organic life on this planet was also an accident, and the whole evolution of Man was an accident too. If so, then all our present thoughts are mere accidents - the accidental by-product of the movement of atoms. And this holds for the thoughts of the materialists and astronomers as well as for anyone else's. But if their thoughts - i.e., of Materialism and Astronomy - are merely accidental by-products, why should we believe them to be true? I see no reason for believing that one accident should be able to give me a correct account of all the other accidents. It's like expecting that the accidental shape taken by the splash when you upset a milk-jug should give you a correct account of how the jug was made and why it was upset."


1. "Man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell."

There are plenty of other quotes from Lewis besides these, so feel free to share any that are especially meaningful to you. I'm sort of partial to this one:

Technorati tag: C.S. Lewis

About the header...

I've received a number of imaginary questions and comments about the continuing presence of a Christmas-related header graphic on the Gazette, and given this widespread illusory show of concern I figured I ought to explain.

The tradition at our house is that the inside decorations can come down immediately after Christmas, but the outside decorations -- primarily lights -- stay up until New Year's Day. It's a long-standing tradition with roots sunk deep into the holy and mysterious need for electric utility company executives to max out their bonus parameters.

Anyway, it's debatable whether the Gazette's header falls into the category of "inside" or "outside" but I'm not taking any chances, so it stays up until January 1 or until I get around to changing it, whichever comes later.

In fact, I may just run the thing until those stupid Capital One commercials -- the ones with the alternatively-employed berserkers -- are discontinued.

Restaurant Review: Cafe at the Gardens

George over at Sleepless in Midland posted his impressions of Midland's newest upscale restaurant a couple of weeks ago. He was quite impressed with Cafe At The Gardens, but his review was based on a lunchtime visit. We've just returned from eating dinner with friends at The Gardens, and I thought I'd share our perceptions, now that the restaurant has a little more operating time under its belt.

• Atmosphere - The setting in the middle of a working nursery (Alldredge Gardens) gives the restaurant an ambience not found anywhere else in Midland, or in all of west Texas, I suspect. Part of the restaurant is, in fact, located inside one of the huge greenhouses. The downside is that there a big exhaust fan over the greenhouse tables, and it was emitting a rather grating high-pitched squeal as we passed by it on our way to our table located in the interior atrium. Also, the greenhouse was rather warm and humid, which may be either a plus or a minus depending on your personal preferences (the atrium setting was on the cold side, so you might keep this in mind when making reservations). Overall, however, the restaurant's setting and decor are quite pleasant; the tables are well-spaced (although the one we were seated at was too close to the rather small bar) and the feel is one of comfortable elegance. A highlight is the comfortable chairs, in stark contrast to another of our favorite upscale restaurants in town, The Garlic Press, whose hard chairs make lingering after a meal a painful proposition.


• Menu - The menu is extensive, highlighted by a long list of daily seafood offerings which vary depending on availability. There are also veal, chicken and pasta dishes, but I suspect that the lineup of steaks are the main draw. Three of us tried the Black Angus tenderloin, one got the prime rib and my wife was the lone non-beefeater, ordering the salmon instead. The menu offers either a 6 ounce or a 10 ounce tenderloin, which is a bit of an awkward choice, in my opinion (I really prefer the 8 ounce offering at The Garlic Press, for example). However, all the food was prepared as ordered -- the kitchen managed to get my medium-rare steak medium-rare, a rare accomplishment, pun intended -- and delicious. The dessert offerings are not extensive. I don't know if they vary each day -- there was no menu -- but there were five choices this evening: chocolate, zebra and carrot cake, cheese cake, and Key Lime pie. The desserts were good, but not ecstatically so (the chocolate cake would have benefited from an ice cream option, but, then, I think everything benefits from the addition of ice cream).


• Service - The service was pleasant and attentive; our water glasses never emptied and coffee was refreshed via new cups rather than refilling the existing ones. The wait for our food was not unreasonable, although things might be different on a busier night; the restaurant was probably less than a quarter full this evening.


• Prices - This is probably the priciest restaurant in town, a bit more expensive than The Garlic Press, I think. Our tab for five dinners, which included only entreés, desserts and coffee, and no wine or bar drinks, was just under $150. These prices are not out of line for similar offerings in other cities, in my experience. Still, this is, for us anyway, a "special occasion" type of restaurant, not something our budget will accommodate on a regular basis.

Overall, we were quite pleased with our experience and I recommend Cafe At The Gardens to anyone seeking a special place for dinner as a change from Tex-Mex and barbecue. My hat's off to the owners of Alldredge Gardens for having the vision and determination to create a unique business, and I hope it does well for them.

Resolution for Designers: Ditch the Bloat

Gene Redlin is fed up with sloppy, bloated websites.

According to a September, 2005 survey for the Pew Internet & American Life Project, 39% of home internet access is via dial-up. That's a large minority of potential website visitors who are continually feeling frustrated by bloated websites with long download times dedicated to delivering useless stuff.

Heck, I've got cable and I still encounter sites that annoy me to no end with their long download times. SI.com is a prime example.

Most of my clients understand the issue and ask for a clean, fast-loading layout, and I'm happy to accommodate them. However, I still get the occasional request for a splash page (no one has yet been able to explain to me what they want to accomplish with it) or the automatic display of a 20-megabyte movie (usually a TV commercial; I'm like, "dude*, people don't want to watch your TV commercials on TV; why do you think they want to come to your website to watch them?").

So, for 2006, I suggest that website designers (and that goes for you bloggers, too...don't get that smug "he's talking about someone else" look) try to remember that broadband hasn't penetrated the market to the extent you might think. There's still virtue in optimizing your photos and other graphics and using CSS to tighten up your code and eliminate bulky Javascript/graphic rollovers. You'll make 39% more people happy without alienating the other 61%, and there's not much downside to that scenario, is there?

*OK, I confess that I have yet to address a client as "dude," but I'm working my way up to it.

Technorati tags: Website Design | Website Usability

Danger: Art Ahead

Every artist wants to feel that her or his work has made an impact on those who view it...but probably not to the extent that vehicular crashes, bodily injuries and psychological traumas are involved. If you're too good at what you do, you might find yourself in the position of one John Pugh, who feels the need to issue a disclaimer of liability for any adverse affects the viewing of his trompe l'oeil murals might engender.

His work is remarkable, no doubt about it. I suggest starting here (albeit in the safety of your home, not behind the wheel of a car) and then exploring the rest of his site.

Technorati tags: Trompe L'oeil | John Pugh

Trike across America

I suspect most of us have at one time or another toyed with the fantasy of giving in to the insistent rhythm of that different drummer, chucking the rat race (in whatever personal manifestation we think we're trapped) and venturing forth to do something amazing. For some, that may entail starting a new career, or hitchhiking around the world, or taking guitar lessons...or riding a high-tech tricycle across the United States.

Multitudes of people have bicycled the route this gentleman is planning to ride, but I suspect that only a handful have altered every aspect of their lives to do it. I hope he finds what he's looking for, although my guess is that in most of these kinds of endeavors, the journey is much more fulfilling than the destination. In any event, his progress will be worth monitoring. If his RSS feed doesn't do the trick, you can check his On the Road category for related posts.

Oh, and that "high tech tricycle"? It's a Greenspeed GTO, from the Aussies who make the world's best -- and probably most expensive -- trikes. From what I hear, it's one sweet ride, and it will be interesting to see how Ian tricks it out for the trek.

Tip o'the bike helmet to Scott over at The Fat Guy, who wishes he had the time, discipline and knees to do the same ride.

Christmas Toys

I scored an embarrassingly rich haul of Christmas gifts (again...our family has always gone overboard on gift-giving; but, I suppose that on the list of Regrettable Family Practices, this habit falls so far down as to be hardly worth mentioning), too many to list so I'll just stick with my usual practice of focusing on a couple of cool tech-toys.

The first is a pair of Sennheiser headphones (model PX100). I don't have the gift of earbudgetry and, frankly, I think those models gyrating wildly through the iPod commercials with earbuds intact have been surgically altered in some way that I really don't want to know about. I do like the convenience of the small size of earbuds, but the musical experience is hampered considerably when you're losing one or both of them at the slightest twitch, ear-related or not.

The Sennheisers are quite comfortable and secure, with their traditional over-the-head design, and they have an ingenious design that allows them to fold flat and fit into a hard plastic case about the size used for eyeglasses. The sound quality is quite good (the claimed frequency response is 15-27,000 Hz). You can also listen to music at a comfortable level without losing all external input, which might be viewed as a shortcoming by some but I rarely want to be completely isolated from the world. And at less than $50, the price is right. I'm very happy with them.

However, the second item has unexpectedly caused me to forego the headphones for more and more of my iPod listening. I mentioned the Belkin TuneStage a couple of weeks back as a hint for those shopping for the iPod fanatics in their lives, and someone must have decided I fell into that category. The TuneStage is undeniably cool, despite the hokey name. It allows you to play your iPod through your home stereo system using a Bluetooth wireless connection system that effectively turns the 'Pod into a remote control. In other words, instead of your iPod remaining stationary, affixed to the receiver, it can move with you (or stay beside you), and as long as you're within 30' feet of the stereo, the music continues.

The maximum range is supposed to be 33' but I was able to move slightly further away than that, and the music was still clear -- and that despite two intervening walls. Your mileage may vary, of course, but it's safe to say that within 20' of your home stereo, this jewel is bulletproof. I also haven't yet noticed any kind of interference with my 802.11 network or my cordless phone.

While the music quality is excellent and the device is for the most part unobtrusive, I wish Belkin had provided the option of a shorter cable for connecting to the stereo. The 7' miniplug-to-RCA plugs cable is much longer than I need. I'm also looking forward to the day when devices like this product's base station can be connected and powered via a USB or Firewire port, and those ports are standard on all home stereo receivers.

Note that the TuneStage is not compatible with the shuffle, nano nor the new so-called video iPods, as it requires the presence of the remote control connector which Apple has eliminated in the new models. I'm sure it's just a matter of time before Belkin comes out with an alternative for those models.

At around $150, it's a bit pricey...and that's if you can find one at all. Belkin's website says it's temporarily sold out.

Technorati tags: Sennheiser PX100 | iPod | Belkin TuneStage

Christmas 2005

Another Christmas has come and gone, leaving me more convinced than ever that I am blessed beyond measure. I hope you and your family had a wonderful weekend, one that generated memories to last a long time. I've got a few, to wit:

• We arrived in Fort Stockton on Friday afternoon and went to Mi Casita for dinner. We were the second party to be seated, but within twenty minutes, every table in the small café was occupied. Almost everyone was local, so much visiting took place across the aisles. In fact, as we were leaving a man was standing outside looking through the glass door and remarking in a thick German accent that there must be a birthday party or something going on in there. It was explained to him that it was just that everyone knew everyone else; he said he'd never seen anything like it before.


• The cleverly-named Fort Worth Bowl was on TV that night, and we had mixed allegiances. On the University of Kansas side was a second cousin playing tight end, and on the University of Houston side was the son of our church's minister of music playing middle linebacker. We spent most of the game trying to catch the jerseys of both players. KU eventually ran away with the contest, proving, I suppose, that even as weak as the Big 12 was supposed to be this year, there are some conferences that still don't necessarily match up.


• We have a tradition at my parents' home on Christmas Eve that involves enough Mexican food to feed a small border village. If you don't believe me, check out the following photo (click on it to see the identity of the items):
  
  "But, wait..." you ask, "didn't you just have Mexican food the night before?" Well, yes, and your point would be what, exactly?


• Here's a hint for those with teens or soon-to-be-teens or, really, anyone who has a pathological need to rattle and shake and investigate with CSI-like precision the gifts under the tree labeled with their names: switch the labels until the gifts are handed out. It's amazing how annoyed it makes a niece, for example, to discover that she's invested so much psychic and intellectual energy in trying to ascertain the identity of the 12-gauge shotgun that ended up going to a nephew. The looks on both of their faces was priceless; for a minute, we thought the niece was going to refuse to let the package go ("It's got my name on it!"). I think she was mollified by the iPod nano in her own much-smaller package. It's never too early for girls to learn that good things often come in small packages. However, not everyone was mesmerized by the gift opening proceedings:
  
  That dog-like creature is Yoda, although she could have just as easily been named Jabba, IYKWIM.


• Speaking of iPod nanos, it fell to me to install iTunes on my father-in-law's eMac so that The Niece could start using the gift certificate that came with her nano. Installation went off without a hitch and we successfully navigate to the ITMS where she quickly found some music (and I use the term loosely, old fogey that I am) to purchase. We click the "Buy" button and immediately got a strange ITMS error message that I'd never seen. We tried again; same message. Finally, it dawned on me what was happening. I figure that about 20 million people got ITMS gift cards and/or iPods for Christmas, and every blessed one of them was trying to buy music at the same time. I'm amazed that we ever got through, but she ended up purchasing the oddest mixture of country and hip hop and Lindsay Lohan-esque pop that you'll ever encounter.


• Christmas Day started with a light breakfast, followed by church services (we filled up an entire pew -- the back row, if you must know). The 10:00 a.m. service was an hour earlier than usual, and when we arrived, there were only about 50 people present, but the crowd eventually doubled in size...and got a bit bigger as we drew near to 11:00 and those who forgot about the change in meeting time showed up. Anyway, after church we all headed back to my parents' house for the traditional Christmas barbecue and all the traditional Christmas barbecue trimmings. Here's the whole crew awaiting the "come and git it" signal:
  
  
  
  I guess you've probably noticed by now that much of our family time involves food. Oh, right...like yours doesn't?


• And speaking of shotguns, after lunch we headed out west of town to do a little skeet shooting...or was it trap? I have no idea what the distinction might be. We fired a bunch of shotgun pellets at little clay discs flung into the blue west Texas skies. Occasionally, some of them were even struck. Almost everyone got into the act. Here's MLB firing a 12-gauge (Remington Model 870 Express Super Magnum, 28" barrel, modified choke...but what do I know?) for the very first time in her life. There are two remarkable things to note about this photo. First, she started out with ramrod straight posture; what you see below is the result of the shotgun recoil on someone who isn't quite used to it. Second, she hit the clay disk! Maybe Texas girls really are born knowing how to shoot.
  
  


• My Christmas fantasy each year is that we'll return to Midland carrying less than we took to Fort Stockton. This year, for example, we actually needed two vehicles to tote everything down. I was sure that this would be the year that my fantasy would be realized. It was not to be, however, thanks to my brother who gave me a big honkin' air compressor the size of a bathtub. We ended up returning home looking like an only slightly upscale version of travelers out of The Grapes of Wrath.

Well, I apologize if this turned out to be the blogging equivalent of "What I Did On My Summer Vacation," but I know that for each of the anecdotes shared above, there's at least one person in the audience who will be filled with fascination. To the rest of you, please accept my best wishes for a wonderful Week Before New Year's Day.

Regular blogging will resume whenever we can establish just exactly what "regular blogging" means.

Merry Christmas!

The Kindness of Strangers - A True Christmas Story

The following story is included in the Christmas cards my mother sent out this year. It's a true story; I know this because it happened to her.

Of course, I never knew Rease, my uncle, but I've heard family speak of him on many occasions and I consider him to be one of the multitude who gave his life serving our country, even if not on the battlefield. It's a blessing, indeed, to know that some tangible reminders of his life have been restored to his family through the caring diligence of a young man who had no logical reason or obligation to go to the trouble of tracking down that family. That sort of giving gladdens the heart better than anything we can find in a mall.

The Church of the Blessed Box Step

I haven't done a very good job of keeping you apprised of our dancing adventures, although judging by the overwhelming absence of feedback that hasn't bothered you much. Nevertheless, it's important that you know that following our Introduction to Ballroom Dancing class we felt comfortable enough with our newly-acquired skills to sign up for the next Introduction to Ballroom Dancing class.

Yes, that's right; we repeated the class. I suppose that there are genetically-superior, rhythm-enhanced bipedal organisms who can master the steps to seven dances in just four classes, but MLB and I don't fall into that category.

So, anyway, we've just completed the second four-week intro class, and we feel good enough about our progress that we're going to sign up for a third round when it's offered again, probably in January.

We missed our Sunday School Christmas party because it fell on the same evening as our final class meeting, and we were quizzed about it at another social gathering of our Sunday School class a couple of weeks later. Interestingly, before the evening was over, most of the couples in attendance had convinced themselves that they wanted to join us in the next class. (OK, to be honest, most of the wives had come to that conclusion; the husbands adopted that gritted-teeth grin that has appeared in the face of lost marital causes for millennia.)

I don't expect that everyone will follow through, but the idea of an all-Baptist dance class has a certain oxymoronic appeal. After all, it's been only about a decade since our church's deacon covenant contained a prohibition against engaging in "the social dance," and I'm sure that there are any number of churches which continue to frown upon the practice, if not outright condemn it. (I've always wondered about the Biblical support for this view, by the way. I realize that one of King David's wives, Michal, "despised" her husband for dancing, but I think it's because she thought he looked silly, a standard which I hope no longer applies as it would effectively end the dancing ambitions of about 90% of the male half of the public.)

Contemplating the possibility of a Baptist dance got me started thinking about how to explain this to those who might fall onto the slightly less open-minded end of the spectrum, and it occurs to me that ballroom dancing is actually a good metaphor for a healthy Godly marriage and life in general. No, really. Here are a few examples:

• The responsibility for leading the dance steps belongs to the man; the woman follows his lead. That's the rule; I didn't make it up. So, too, with marriage, where Scripture tells us that the husband is the head and the wife is to submit to his leadership.


• But this leadership role carries great responsibility, both in dancing and marriage. In the dance, the man's every move should be to make his partner look good and feel secure. When he does his job in this way, they both benefit. That's the model for a marriage, too.


• In dance, the music dictates the steps, and trying to force different steps onto the music leads to confusion and disarray. Just try waltzing to a tango if you doubt this. In life, God has created a set of rules, designed with our good in mind. Attempts to bend or bypass those rules inevitably leads to sadness and confusion.


• However, even within a given dance, there's freedom to embellish the steps, provided the basic rules are not violated. And, contrary to popular belief, God provides us with a significant degree of freedom to live our lives within the general context of His will.


• And last, but certainly not least, the dance is supposed to be fun and full of joy. I believe that's God's desire for us, as well.

Perhaps these comparisons are a stretch. No matter. In the end, the important thing is that there's far more good than harm associated with an activity that brings a husband and wife together in an activity that requires teamwork, practice and an ability to take themselves a bit less seriously than before.

Real Life, Part MCXVIII

I had lots that I intended to post about today, but a phone call from MLB this afternoon preempted everything.

"The Niece crashed the car," she said. "It's sitting in the Hobby Lobby parking lot with a ruined tire and bumper. Can you go check on things? They're waiting on a tow truck but they're not sure if that's the right thing to do."

I locked up and headed to the scene, which is about a mile as the crow flies from our house. Our old Plymouth Neon was a sad sight, matching the looks on the faces of The Niece and her mom.

She had somehow lost control after exiting the loop, jumped two curbs and flew -- literally, according to an eyewitness -- into the parking lot. She managed to avoid hitting any other cars in the process, coming to a halt in a relatively open area. Both airbags deployed, the front left wheel was taco'ed (a technical crash term), the front bumper (which, admittedly, had seen some prior abuse under the ministrations of two newly-licensed drivers) draped to the pavement, and a small pool of fluid was forming under a wrinkled transmission case.

On the plus side, The Niece was relatively unharmed, other than an aching wrist (which later was diagnosed as a bad sprain), possibly due to being caught by the airbag. Also, the engine started up without a hitch, so it seemed to be at least temporarily driveable; I made a judgment call and canceled the tow truck. Even better, the car came to rest a hundred yards from the best tire store in west Texas, the Discount Tire outlet. In fact, the manager of the store was the eyewitness mentioned above. He and two of his employees came out and helped secure the bumper and mount the temporary spare (I had removed the ruined wheel by the time they arrived). We asked if they had a wheel that would fit the car and they did, so I had the Nephew drive it over, where we got in the queue for a replacement. Thirty minutes later, I was escorting The Nephew home in the Neon, The Niece having gone with her mom to the emergency room to get her wrist checked out, and we arrived without incident.

The car's a mess, though. I'm worried about possible damage to the transmission, and The Nephew said that the car pulled badly to one side. I noticed a dent in the left rear wheel when we got home; it will likely need to be replaced at some point.

But, as I said, it could have been much worse. It's a miracle that no other vehicles were involved, given the heavy traffic in that area this time of year. There's a guardian angel somewhere who deserves a big Christmas bonus. Well, there's probably a whole troop of 'em, considering we're talking about a teenaged driver. If that's not a hazardous duty job, I don't know what is.

I also can't say enough about the guys at Discount Tire. I've always been impressed with their service and prices -- I buy all of our replacement tires there -- but they went above and beyond this afternoon. I recommend 'em highly.

I just post 'em; I don't explain 'em

OK, settle down. The real reason for this post is that there is actually some interesting logic behind the computation. It's a comparison of the number of hits on a search term in Google with "Safe Search" turned on, vs. the same search with the filter turned off.

There's no practical use for this comparison that I can think of, other than serving as affirmation that an innocent blogger-to-be who's contemplating using "Hot Buns" as a name for her site focused on baking might want to re-think her choice. Or, maybe that's what she's going for to begin with.

In any event, this is the first time I've ever found a need to put a post in the categories of both "Just Plain Silly" and "Internet." Although, now that I think about it, almost everything in the latter probably fits in the former.

Tip o'the hat to Patti over at White Pebble, whose score on this test seems to indicate that the algorithm needs some tweaking.

Um...just curious. Do you have Safe Search on or off in your browser?

A Friendly Visitation

A longtime friend dropped by this afternoon, a fellow who lives not all that far away but whom I rarely see, and we reminisced about some old adventures. The memories of one in particular will stay with both of us, I suspect, until there's nothing left to remember and no point to remembering anyway. It's been twenty years, and a re-reading of the account reminds me that it might just be the funniest thing I've ever written. If you don't agree, I won't hold it against you; the phrase "you had to be there" most assuredly applies.

But, if you've got ten minutes or so to spare, feel free to jump over and read about how "Chet" and "Natalie" talked us right into a near death experience (or so we thought at the time). We're forever in their debt.

Jeff's Back

It never fails. Less than a week after I added the dread "Inactive" label to his entry on my blogroll, and following an absence of almost three months, Jeff has posted something new to ArchaeoTexture. However, while I'd like to think that the Gazette has that kind of influence, in reality Jeff was moved by something more fundamental and personal.

His latest entry is a tribute to his longtime colleague and friend, Gayle Hill, whose untimely passing a few weeks ago at age 45 lessened our community a bit. I didn't know Gayle other than through her media appearances, but that was enough to recognize the tributes that Jeff praises via the sharing of his memories.

Welcome back to the blogosphere, Jeff. I hope you'll be a more frequent contributor.

Public Domain Movies for iPodv

You're probably getting a new iPod for Christmas, the model that allows you to play back video, and so you'll be needing a source of movies to load up that bad boy. You could buy some lame TV shows from the iTunes Music Store, but why do that when you can download some truly righteous movies...for free? Not only that, it's completely legal, since these flicks are all in the public domain.

That's right, Public Domain Torrents has more than 500 public domain movies, shorts and serials available for download to your iPod. Among these "classics" are flicks like Ed Woods' Plan 9 From Outer Space, Attack of the Giant Leeches and Atom Age Vampires. But you can also grab non-B offerings like A Farewell to Arms, Angel and the Badman and Nosferatu.

Tip o'the cardboard 3D glasses to Cult of Mac

Technorati tags: iPod video | Public Domain Movies

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition Scoping Out Katrina Victims

ABC's Extreme Makeover: Home Edition has had some really cool episodes and even though it sometimes seems like an hour-long commercial for Sears, I don't mind because I believe real people are getting real help.

I just learned via the Slidell (LA) Hurricane Damage Blog that the show's producers have solicited story ideas from that town for a potential episode. It sounds like they're planning several episodes focusing on different areas that were hit by the hurricanes (Katrina and Rita).

Interestingly, these special episodes will not involve rebuilding of any homes, but rather will spotlight different community-wide projects.

I do hope they'll reconsider and pick at least one home to rebuild. My nomination? Our blogging pal Daniel Morris over at From Behind the Wall of Sleep. Last we heard, he and his family were in line for a FEMA trailer, but I don't know if that actually came to pass.

Church Helping Church

Our church building is constructed in a kind of rectangle shape with a large open area in the middle. Last year, the membership approved a project to enclose that open area -- to put a glass roof over it -- and convert the space into an atrium that can be used for a combination of things, including an indoor playground area, a coffee shop, a general meeting/gathering area, etc. The cost for doing this work is expected to be around $2 million, and a capital commitment program was kicked off to raise the money (we further decided not to proceed until sufficient commitments were in hand to do the project). Fund raising rocked along and by Labor Day we were at about 60% of our goal.

Then Hurricane Katrina hit.

It took a while for the full extent of the damage along the Gulf Coast to sink in, and even as a number of our members headed that direction to help with relief efforts, our missions committee and staff were evaluating how we might provide a different kind of assistance. That opportunity came in the form of a sister Baptist church located in Mississippi. The church sustained $500,000 in damages from the wind and flooding, and only $83,000 was covered by insurance. Almost every member of that congregation either lost their home or suffered extensive damage to it, so it would be a burden-upon-burden for them to rebuild both home and church.

Our congregation has stepped up and assumed the responsibility for payment of the remaining $417,000 for repairs, using several sources of funds. One primary source is the diversion of up to 10% of commitments made to our own building program, described above. Everyone making a commitment to that program has been offered the option of approving a "tithe" of that pledge or gift to be sent to the church in Mississippi...and I suspect that the response will be almost unanimously favorable.

This action will likely mean a delay in getting our own work done, but it's a live model of Jesus' reminder that it's more blessed to give than to receive. On the other hand, God's mysterious ways being what they are, I wouldn't be a bit surprised to find that the funds that our church members send to the Gulf Coast are replenished in an amazing fashion.

I'm sure stories like this are being repeated around the country, but possibly not getting much publicity. I'm sharing this in the hope that it might be an encouragement for others to give in a sacrificial manner to help rebuild the Gulf Coast. I'm pretty sure they'd do the same for us, if the shoe was on the other foot.

BPL: More Power to Texas Internet Users?

Potentially exciting news from electricity provider TXU Corp.: beginning in 2006, 2 million homes and businesses in the Dallas-Ft. Worth area and "other Texas communities" will be offered Broadband over Power Lines (BPL), via an agreement between TXU and CURRENT Communications Group.

BPL is essentially the use of existing power lines to provide high speed internet access. It's an attractive idea because of the almost univeral reach of the existing infrastructure and the ability to turn your home's electrical wiring into a full-fledged information network. The utopian view is that any properly equipped device plugged into a standard A/C outlet could immediately "communicate" with every other device on the local power grid without requiring any additional wiring. "Plug and play" takes on a whole new meaning. Thus, your digital TV could network with your computer; your coffee maker could network with your bedroom alarm clock; your refrigerator could network with your hair dryer (I'm not saying how any of this might actually be useful). Of course, as with any new technology, there's still some uncertainty in terms of reliability, cost, speed and some other technical issues like interference with radio transmissions.

Also, there are several competing technical standards for BPL, and they're all new enough that there's no guarantee as to which -- if any -- end up being the final standard. CURRENT uses the HomePlug® power line modem standard, and it has some heavy-hitters as backers (like Intel, Motorola, Comcast, GE, Sony, Linksys and more). It's also telling that one of the investing companies in CURRENT is Google.

Interestingly, the HomePlug Alliance focused first on intra-home networking (see my appliance-to-appliance examples above) and has only recently formulated a BPL standard for bringing broadband into the home. The HomePlug AV specification was approved by the Alliance board in August, 2005. While neither the TXU nor the CURRENT new release states that HomePlug AV is part of the services being offered in the new arrangement, it is implied by the phrase "...including the triple play of voice, television and high speed access..." That sneaky reference to "voice" is VOIP, meaning, of course, internet telephony.

Due to the lack of specificity in the press releases, I can't tell if TXU's west Texas customers will be part of this initial rollout. Regardless, it's a fascinating development. I'd be interested to hear if any Gazette readers have had experience with BPL.

Technorati tags: BPL | HomePlug | CURRENT Communications | TXU

"You hate hat hair"

Purgatorio lists "10 Reasons Why You Probably Shouldn't Be Amish Anymore."

The comments at least double the count, and don't hurt the hilarity factor any, either.

Tip o'the Big Round Hat to BatesLine, which links to a bunch of other Purgatorio stuff as well. I may have to take Michael's advice and add it to the Gazette's blogroll; I'm just not sure which category it goes in.

A Stroll through the Neighborhood

It's been a while since we sneaked around and peaked through the neighbors' windows to see what they're up to, and now that I've fulfilled my community service hours since the last time, let's try it again, shall we?

• Over at Lintefiniel Musing, Jen has taken a brief breather from her wedding preparations (12 days and counting!) to post a recipe for "Texas Chili." I hope she didn't pay some shady peddler too much for this recipe however, because it calls for beans in the chili, and as we all know, that's strictly prohibited by the official CASI rules. I've already left a strongly-worded refutation, so there's no need to embarrass her further. Besides, she's busy watching the Cowboys/Redskins game.


• This hasn't gotten much media attention in our neck o'the woods, but Bryan over at Arguing with Signposts reports that a hundred thousand folks are still without power in South Carolina following last week's ice storm. Bryan and his family are among them, but they were able to leave early for a planned Christmas trip and are safe and warm with family outside the area.


• At this point in our history when most of us are dealing with the problems that come with having too much of just about everything, it's nice to be able to step back and contemplate nothing. You can thank Charles over at Dustbury for pointing to nothing, by the way.


• Mis_Nomer (not her real name [duh]...but I know what it is, and you {probably} don't!) is training to climb the tallest mountain in Malaysia, Mt. Kinabalu, and is somewhat concerned about the possibility of altitude sickness. At 13,434', the mountain wouldn't make it into the top 50 in Colorado, but for a sea-level Singaporean, it's still a good challenge.


• Bill from Out of the Bloo riffs on a Bible passage that I highlighted just two days earlier. He doesn't mention it as an influence, but he'd also recently seen The Chronicles of Narnia. While you're there, be sure to browse through his periodic posts on the significance of Christmas. Good stuff.


• And speaking of movies, Jim over at Serotoninrain is anxiously awaiting next year's release of The New World, as he's a fan of the work of director Terrence Malick, who prizes quality over quantity, judging by his small-but-impressive body of work. Jim's tastes in movies run to the cerebral, so if you count yourself in that category also, pay attention to what he says.


• Patti over at White Pebble cuts through the low s/n ratio of the discussion over privacy rights in America, and poses the fundamental question that we really ought to concern ourselves with.


• And last, but certainly not least, allow me to introduce to you Brian Hong, a student blogging via The Wonder Years, emanating from USC (that's on the left coast, in case you need directions). Brian shares his reaction to a brush with fame, at least on a local level. Ah, to be in college again. [OK, not really...but the memories are good!]

Cover Art Contest!

Update #2: We have a winner! Sid, who is obviously a fan of singing cowboy movies, correctly identified this cover as belonging to Rustler's Rhapsody, a 1985 movie starring -- well, you know. This is a vastly underrated movie, in my opinion; it's a campy takeoff on the white hat-wearing, code of the Old West-adhering cowboy hero. The movie could also be a source by itself for an entire trivia game. It's the "Princess Bride" of singing cowboy movies. Anyway, congratulations to Sid for being so perceptive.

And, in anticipation of certain comments, I never said what kind of cover!

Update #1: The guesses have been pretty, um, wide-ranging thus far, so I've re-uploaded the image with a bit more revealed.

Original Post: 12/17/05 - 1:15 pm:

I was going back through the Historical Records and I'm amazed to find that we haven't had a cover art contest since...well, for a long time. So here's one to whet your appetite prior to Christmas.

You know the drill. First one to identify the source of the following cover wins insane accolades. Every now and then, I'll uncover a few more bits if it appears that you're either (1) stumped or (b) apathetic.

Oh...Wallace, it's not "A Hard Day's Night" by the Beatles.

Technorati tag: Cover Art

Top 10 NFL Rivalries

Just noticed that Sports Illustrated is featuring the "Top 10 NFL Rivalries of All Time."

You can visit SI.com to see the entire list, but the top three are the Chiefs/Raiders, Bears/Packers and -- drumroll, please -- Cowboys/Redskins at #1.

I don't get into pro football much anymore, but back in the day when the Dallas-vs-Washington games actually meant something, I can assure you that there was nothing at the pro level more satisfy than watching the 'Pokes kick some 'Skins rearends, and little more deflating than when it went the other way.

The highlight of that rivalry -- for me, anyway -- occurred back in '74 when an unknown rookie quarterback named Clint Longley came into the game in the third quarter on Thanksgiving Day, and with 35 seconds to play threw the winning 50-year touchdown pass to a streaking Drew Pearson. I don't know if Longley ever completed another pass in the NFL, but it doesn't matter. I suspect that there are still Redskins fans who get nauseous at the mention of his name.

Counting Words...Even When They Don't Count

Remember when you were in [junior high] [high school] [college] [graduate school] and you had to turn in a report containing at least X number of words*? The ability to pad a report without seeming to has always been a valuable but largely out-of-reach skill for students.

Sometimes, this approach even crops up in certain non-scholarly products. I'm sure most columnists never resort to padding, but I'm no longer willing to give all journalists a pass on this, not after reading this newspaper report about yesterday's brief snowstorm. This excerpt seems to smack of the art of padding in all its redundant glory:

OK, let me see if I've got this straight. Temperatures differ in time because of changes in the weather. Check. The weather fluctuates, although that's a phenomenon that may be limited to this region. Check. Temperatures fall when a cold front comes through. Check.

Class dismissed [with apologies to Christopher].

*I can't remember how we accomplished this word counting bit without the help of Microsoft Word. Talk about living in the dark ages!

Abbye Diagnosed

After more than a year of searching for an explanation of Abbye's gradual hair loss, dulling of her coat, discolored skin and other less obvious symptoms, it appears we may finally have an answer. According to the results of a just-completed blood test, she is suffering from Cushing's Syndrome, a condition that results from an excess of cortisol (also known as hydrocortisone), a hormone produced by the adrenal glands.

Our next step is to figure out what's causing the disease. The most common causes of this hyperadrenocorticism are normally-benign tumors of either the adrenal or pituitary glands. There's another blood test that is used to distinguish between the two; Abbye's scheduled for that on Monday.

The presence of a tumor doesn't necessarily mean that surgery will be required. There are some alternative non-invasive treatments. The prognosis is uncertain, however. Everything we can find so far is primarily anecdotal; there haven't been any rigorous studies of how Cushing's plays out in dogs over time.

We certainly want to see Abbye's physical symptoms improve, but I can't help thinking that some of her behaviors -- which up to now we've joked about as simply eccentricities -- may also stem from this disorder. A malfunctioning adrenal gland has some definite psychological implications, which may explain her irrational fear of just about everything.

We're far from fully understanding what's going on, but it's a big step in the right direction, I think. Stay tuned...

Here are some links we've found helpful:

• VetInfo.com
• Patient Information (geared toward humans, but provides good background)
• Wikipedia's entry on cortisol

Technorati tags: Cushing's Disease in dogs | Cortisol | Hydrocortisone

Long Kong

I just discovered that King Kong runs three hours and seven minutes. Yikes.

When you consider travel time to and from the theater and early arrival time to get the gorilla-sized tub of popcorn, a gallon of diet Coke and a seat that's more than six feet away from the screen, you're talking a commitment of more than four hours to this movie.

I don't think I'm ready for that kind of commitment just yet, especially not at this busy time of year.

I also wonder -- as have you, I'm sure -- if director Peter Jackson thought to put in about five minutes of boring stuff around the 90 minute mark for, you know, a rest stop.

Technorati tags: King Kong | King Kong-Sized Depends

Snow!

Photos to come. (I know; just indulge me, will you?)

Update: The snow is rapidly melting, but we got a steady mini-blizzard for almost four hours this morning. Here's a view of our back yard. Interestingly, Abbye doesn't hesitate to tromp right out into the falling snow; I guess the flakes are light enough that she feels they don't pose a mortal threat...unlike those killer raindrops.

Snow in west Texas is not exactly uncommon, but it's still an infrequent occurrence, enough so that I'm sure I'm not the only one who trotted out the camera this morning to supplement the historical record.

You don't know who you're dealing with...

The award for The Most Inappropriate Subject Line in a Spam Email When Considered in Light of the Recipient goes to the clueless folks who keep sending me messages entitled "Your opinion may be worth more than you think."

They are obviously clueless about bloggers.

Overdoing Simplicity

You know me...I'm all about simplicity, usability, yielding control to the customer. When I see "KISS," I think facilitation, not osculation.

So it's strange that I should find myself needing to issue a mild rebuke to the Wall Street Journal for going too far down the path of simplification. Here's what I mean:

This is a screen capture from the bottom of the page devoted to today's "Question of the Day," an informal poll regarding burning issues (la pregunta de hoy: "Which type of Web site is most in need of greater government oversight?" (Fortunately...surprisingly...blogs weren't among the named choices, although I'm sure they're what everyone has in mind when they pick the "Other" category.) This page contains the poll itself, followed by a series of message board-style comments left by those who want to editorialize about why they voted as they did. It's all very routine stuff.

However, someone at the Journal has apparently decided that despite the fact that access to their website costs around a hundred bucks a year and the average subscriber has at least an undergraduate degree, something on this page is potentially confusing and therefore readers need the equivalent of the Staples "Easy Button."

I applaud the designer's sensitivity, but, frankly, I don't get it. It's especially puzzling when I click the "Basic View" link and -- just as with the "Easy Button" -- nothing changes. I can't tell any difference between the Basic and Advanced Views. Perhaps I'm not looking hard enough, but I submit that if one has to look really hard to distinguish between two options, there may well be one too many options.

OK, I'll admit that there is one difference between the Basic and Advanced Views. The Basic View is lacking the option to change the font size. It's possible that the designer decided that the popup menu allowing the change in font size might be intimidating or confusing -- Wonder what they mean by "adjust"?. Never mind that the option is, well, optional.

I've intentionally not placed this example into the Gazette's world renown "Usability Hall of Shame," because it's not bad design; it just appears to be unnecessary design. It's as simple as that.

Technorati tags: Wall Street Journal | Usability

Evans to Rosneft?

I'm absolutely fascinated by reports that Midlander and former Commerce Secretary Don Evans has been asked by Russian president Putin to become Chairman of the Board of Russia's largest oil company. If true, and if it comes to pass, we may someday look back on this event as a watershed in the legitimization of the Russian oil and gas industry, which up to this point has been at best a doddering behemoth and at worst a disaster of the first stripe.

The implied message of the outreach is arguably much more important than the actual event. Putin seems to be admitting that his country's most valuable industry is basically out of control, and there's no one inside Russia who can master it. He's also taking proactive steps to give some assurance that when Rosneft becomes partially privatized next year via an IPO, it will have the kind of leadership necessary to ensure that investors feel comfortable in buying its stock.

It also is a vivid reminder of how different the Russian style of government and business is from what we're accustomed to. Of course, Rosneft is a state-owned company and thus you'd expect that the political leader would have a certain amount of control over or input to the selection of the business leader. But can you imagine Dubya inviting, say, Tony Blair to become head of ExxonMobil? OK, bad example. But, you know what I mean.

I doubt that anyone's naive enough to think that Evans will singlehandedly turn around an entire national industry. But if a west Texas oilman can't do it, nobody can. At the very least, it's a good start.

Technorati tags: Donald Evans | Rosneft

Lion or Lamb?

The Chronicles of Narnia has spawned a variety of discussions about allegories, Scriptural and otherwise, and some of them center on the apparent contradiction of Jesus Christ being personified as both a lion and a lamb. Julie Neidlinger smoothly dissects (without anesthesia, I might add) one argument that Jesus is incorrectly characterized as a lion.

This topic is on my mind as I'm nearing the end of another "Read Through the Bible in a Year" regimen, and thus am groping my way through the book of Revelation. In a remarkable "coincidence" (funny how "coincidences" of Scriptural relevance seem to pop up everywhere when one actually reads the Bible), the reading for today is the fifth chapter of Revelation. I was going to focus only on verses 5 and 6, but the entire chapter is too amazing to neglect any part of it:

There we have it in two consecutive verses: references to Jesus as both conquering Lion -- the Lion of Judah, to be exact -- and sacrificial lamb. Yet even as a lamb, He is a conqueror, overcoming death to bring life.

The debate over the nature and character of Jesus is, ultimately, an exercise in futility, as we have neither the intellect nor the vocabulary to understand or express the truth. After that realization, the only fitting response that remains is the one modeled above by the elders: fall down and worship.

Somehow, I'm perfectly content with that conclusion.

By the way, if you've never read through the Bible, it's something I highly recommend. I know I write about this every year about this time, but I can practically guarantee you that if you stick to it and get it done...you'll want to do it again.

Technorati tag: Lion of Judah | Lamb of God

Shopping hints for the iPod owner on your list

What? You haven't finished your Christmas shopping yet? Shame, shame, shame. If the problem is lack of money or time, you're out of luck; I have neither to spare. But if you're just out of ideas -- and the fortunate potential giftee happens to be an iPod owner (and who doesn't that cover nowadays?) -- I've got the answer you've been seeking.

Check out Playlist Magazine's Plays of the Year, the editors' picks for the best iPod-related products of 2005. Prices range from free (there; that solves another problem) to $1,600, and most price points in between. There's both hardware (speakers, FM transmitters, earbuds and headphones, docks, etc.) and software (for transferring songs from 'pod to computer, for loading commercial videos to the new 'pods -- not that we're advocating that, mind you, etc.).

My personal favorite of the bunch is Belkin's TuneStage, a device that facilitates connecting your iPod to your home stereo, incorporating Bluetooth that allows you to use the 'pod itself as "the ultimate remote control." At $180, it would make a great gift for your favorite blogger who has modeled his publication after a tiny-but-nasty arthropod.

Don't make me beg.

SSG Will's Home!

I was pleased to receive an email from SSG. Will informing me that, following a 39 hour trip, he's been reunited with wife and daughter, the latter being someone he'd never met in person as he shipped out to Iraq just before she was born.

He's obviously thrilled to be home and enjoying the big and little pleasures of life in the States (the former I've already described; the latter include rain and broadband access).

And since he's continuing to check in on the Gazette, I know he'd appreciate any "welcome home" comments you'd care to leave. [Hint, hint]

I picked a bad week to not quit blogging...

Four new clients in the past 10 days, including two today, including one who wants a whole site redesign by, say, tomorrow. Eight consecutive nights of social events or other external commitments, should we choose to participate (we'll probably bow out of two of them)...including one tonight which involved large groups of accountants preoccupied with swapping layoff tales. Layoffs past, present and future. I don't drink but I have to admit that the bar was starting to look mighty inviting. But such is the life of a trophy husband.

But things aren't all bad. We got home in record time, having elected the LIFO party attendee inventory method, and managed to catch the last ten minutes of My Name is Earl. As long as we have Earl around to do the Robot Dance, life remains worthwhile.

Just thought you ought to know.

Where do I sign up?

Barnwell Industries Inc.'s latest press release detailing its quarterly earnings has nothing of particular interest to catch one's eye, other than the fact that it originates from Honolulu, Hawaii. A quick jump to the company's website reveals that its corporate headquarters are, indeed, located in Honolulu, even though the bulk of its earnings are derived from its oil and gas operations which are managed from Calgary, Canada.

I realize that it's not unusual for corporate HQs to be remotely located from the actual production, although this tends to be the case much more often with major corporations rather than small independents. But I think Barnwell has set a new standard for working both ends of the geographic spectrum. I'm thinking about buying a few shares so I can have a reason for attending the annual stockholder's meeting.

Memo of Seven

A couple of weeks ago the achingly lovely and Mother of Many Boys, TulipGirl, tagged me for this meme. As per my usual modus operandi, I hopped right on it, then got distracted by a baby squirrel, and I've just now returned to finish the job.

Seven things to do before I die:
1. Learn to dance (even if I have to set a record for the number of beginning ballroom dance classes taken)
2. See the Gazette visitor counter turn 1 million
3. Learn to speak Spanish
4. Learn to play the guitar (using chords and everything)
5. Take my lovely bride on a cruise (if we can get the seasickness thing whipped)
6. Visit the Galapagos Islands
7. Learn to snowboard

Seven things I cannot do:
1. Dance, play the guitar, snowboard & speak Spanish
2. Remember when to use "lay" instead of "lie," and vice versa
3. Ride a unicycle. I have one, though.
4. Grow bangs. (Eyebrows don't count.)
5. Wear Nikes. The arches are in the wrong place, or something. They just don't fit me.
6. Dunk a basketball. White guy...you know how it goes.
7. Eat banana pudding. Don't ask.

Seven things that attract me to MLB:
1. She's quick to smile.
2. She doesn't think she's an athlete...but she is.
3. She's a wonderful cook, and likes to cook.
4. She's so tenderhearted.
5. She doesn't think she's beautiful...but she is.
6. She likes to try new things.
7. She can be just as immature as me. (OK, not really...but she does tolerate immaturity really well.)

Seven things I say most often:
1. I can do that.
2. I don't know but I'll try to find out.
3. I love you.
4. You bought what?
5. So, where do you want to eat?
6. ¿Que pasa?
7. Good dog. (She is, you know.)

Seven books you love
1. The Bible
2. The Hummingbird's Daughter
3. The Hobbit
4. To Say Nothing of the Dog
5. Armor
6. The Beast That Shouted Love at the Heart of the World
7. Stand on Zanzibar

Seven movies you watch over and over again:
1. LOTR Trilogy
2. Alien Resurrection (to see Ripley play basketball)
3. Chicago
4. Moulin Rouge
5. Clueless
6. The Mummy Returns
7. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

Seven people I want to join in, too:
This one has run it's course, I think, but if you'd like to post your own answers, feel free.

OK, so where were we?

I've spent the past couple of days debating with myself as to whether the time has come to shut down the Gazette. I tried to do it a couple of years ago and some special blogging friends talked me out of it...and I was grateful -- still am, for that matter -- because I've had a lot of fun since then. But, lately, it's become more work than fun, and I don't know why. I constructed a pretty good argument for closing down: too little time, not enough talent, too many superior alternatives, too few readers, too many readers (that one's a little harder to explain), and so on.

Offsetting those arguments is my realization that I've got a duty...nay, a responsibility...nay, a calling to ensure that at least one corner of the blogosphere, however remote and miniscule, remains safe for Content Free™ articles. If not me, who? If not now, when?

So, here I remain, with a renewed aspiration to mediocrity, and with your help and support, I have no doubt that I can achieve that goal. And to prove that I'm serious, I'm even going to finish the meme post that I started a week ago.

Narnia: A world worth visiting

I've never been a big fan of the fantasy genre of literature. I read The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings trilogy and enjoyed them immensely, but they seemed to satisfy my every longing to immerse myself into worlds of magic and mythical beings. I've always preferred the so-called "hard science fiction," where made-up worlds and beings are undergirded by some smidgen of logic, however convoluted. "Hey, it could happen..." is more than just a quote from Saturday Night Live (or wherever).

I tell you these things so that you'll know that I went to see The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe with no preconceived notions, since I have not read the book from which it's derived, nor have I any idea of the plot other than what I've seen in the trailers. You'll be disappointed if you're reading this review hoping to find out how faithful the screenplay is to the writing of C.S. Lewis.

OTOH, you should be pleased -- if you're a Narnia fan -- to know that the movie lives up to all the hype. It's wonderful entertainment, on several levels...an achievement that matches the standard, the LOTR trilogy, stride-for-stride. If I have a complaint about the movie, it's that two hours and twenty minutes simply isn't enough time to do justice to the story. Still, the screenplay will leave even the Narnia novice feeling satisfied with an understanding of the basic plot...no crib notes are needed, no major mysteries remain unexplained.

There's been much speculation about how the Christian symbolism in the book would be carried into the screenplay. As far as I'm concerned, this movie is an allegory illustrating the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ, and the only way one will fail to see it will be through either total ignorance of the Biblical account or willful denial. It's a strange comparison, I know, but not since The Passion of the Christ have I seen on film such a moving depication of the death of Christ.

The theater was 3/4 full even for the second matinee showing on a Friday afternoon. The local Catholic school brought a busload of elementary-aged kids; there were many other sets of parents with fairly young children, along with the usual contingent of retirees, college students and professionals who took the day off. The movie kept all of us entranced; I never heard a peep out of the kids during the quiet times on screen. What I did hear was a lot of sniffling (and even a couple of sobs) during the most moving scene of the film (and I'll let you to imagine what that scene was; most of you know). But, the movie does have some really intense scenes. Most of the violence was implied, or involved animated made-up characters, but for the very young, even that will be scary or overly-powerful stuff.

The acting was uniformly excellent, but the young actress (Georgie Henley) playing Lucy and the woman (Tilda Swinton) playing the evil White Witch turned in superlative performances. Swinton is one of those actresses whose appearance is so striking that one can't help but fixate on her, much like (here's that comparison again) Rosalinda Celentano in The Passion of the Christ. Of course, Swinton's character might well be the same as Celentano's. Anyway, I thought she looked familiar (and not simply because she sometimes strongly resembled Cate Blanchett's character in LOTR), but I couldn't figure out why until I looked her up on IMDB and saw that she played the part of Gabriel in Constantine. She was visually arresting in that role, as well.

In summary, if you're already a fan (or a fanatic) who carries lofty expectations into the theater, or someone who is completely new to the the book, I think you'll be pleased with this movie. Whether it's completely faithful to the book, I can't say, but I can't imagine that any deviations from the original make it a lesser work.

Oh, by the way...the trailer for next year's Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest looks wonderfully entertaining.

Technorati tags: Chronicles of Narnia | Tilda Swinton

New Abbye Photos!

I think that says it all.

Happy clicking!

You think YOU'RE having a bad day?

From today's Wall Street Journal:

The article goes on to say that the Nikkei 225 sank 301.30 points, or 2%, to 15183.36 as the brokerage selloff engulfed the whole market, with all 33 subsectors of the broader Topix index of all Tokyo Stock Exchange First Section issues ending down.

In a possibly related news item, it's reported that shares of Thaitsuki Nihonto are trading near an all-time high. Thaitsuki is a leading manufacturer of seppuku swords.

Disclaimer: Parts of this post are made up. Can you tell which?

Technorati tags: Mizuho Securities | Seppuku

Email Injection: Possible Solution (PHP)

I'm hopeful that I've found the solution to the email injection problems that have begun to plague form-to-email applications across the web.

After an extensive amount of reading, I've learned that most of the abuse of these forms is achieved when a hacker is able to inject his own email headers into the messages generated by the form on a website. These injected headers are often in the form of additional cc: or bcc: which are then populated with hundreds or thousands of email addresses, and the form itself is then hijacked to send spam to those addresses.

The solution is simple in concept: prevent the insertion of new email headers. As a practical matter, this is not so straightforward, as some "solutions" can have unpleasant side-effects, like preventing the transmission of legitimate responses via the forms. However, the consensus seems to be that for a very simple form, which generates an email message to only one recipient, the following steps will prevent the vast majority of email injection attempts:

1. Hard-code the recipient email address into the form; avoid making this a user-input variable


2. Eliminate all unnecessary header data from the form - It's probably not important to have the name and email address of the person submitting the form show up in the header of the generated message, as long as you're receiving it in the body of the message


3. Prevent the insertion of new email headers - This is most easily accomplished by stripping out linefeeds and carriage returns from the coding. This works because new email headers are identified by a preceding blank line. The downside to this is that you'll need to strip the linefeeds from your message body as well, which can lead to some hard-to-read email. However, you can mitigate this problem by coding in some data separators (like " | ").


4. Test the form submissions for the presence of new and unwanted email headers, and if they're found, reject the submission. This is potentially tricky territory, as there are many different legitimate email headers. In addition, if you're not careful about how you specify those headers, you could reject legitimate submissions.

OK, that's the theory; here's the practice. Following is some PHP that can be placed inside the form processing code to accomplish #2 and #3 above. Included in the comments are the URLs for the origin of this code. I've implemented this approach on one test site and the spam immediately dropped from more than 50 per day to one...and I think that one was actually just a probe to see if the form was vulnerable to abuse.

// Following lines intended to prevent use of form by spammers
// by preventing the insertion of line feeds or carriage returns
// that might allow the creation of new email header data
// See www.anders.com,projects,sysadmin,formPostHijacking
$_POST['email'] = preg_replace("/\r/", "", $_POST['email']);
$_POST['email'] = preg_replace("/\n/", "", $_POST['email']);
$message = preg_replace("/\r/", "", $message);
$message = preg_replace("/\n/", "", $message);

foreach ( $_POST as $key => $value ) {
// Make form string lowercase to compare with the email_injection_filter function
strtolower($value);
// add current post var to $postVars
$postVars .= "$value ";
}

// Function from cyphix on
http://www.codingforums.com/showthread.php?
s=129cf1ecbeb511d27b759e97bff5e87c&t=67546
// Function prevents the insertion of additional email headers

function email_injection_filter($formInput) {
$injectionStrings = array("apparently-to",
"bcc",
"cc:",
"boundary=",
"charset",
"content-disposition",
"content-type",
"content-transfer-encoding",
"errors-to",
"in-reply-to",
"message-id",
"mime-version",
"multipart/mixed",
"multipart/alternative",
"multipart/related",
"reply-to",
"x-mailer",
"x-sender",
"x-uidl"
);
foreach ($injectionStrings as $spam)
{
if(eregi("$spam",$formInput)) {
die('Your message is deemed to be an attempt to hijack the originating email form, and has
been rejected.');
}
}
}
// actually check de vars
email_injection_filter($postVars);

Here's the usual disclaimer. I didn't write this code, and I can't guarantee that it will work for you, or that it will work, period. Use it as your own risk.

I've seen what I believe to be some benefit from it in one specific instance, but I'm sure that it can be improved. If you're fluent in PHP and can spot some things in this code that can make it work better, please feel free to share your suggestions and we'll try to create a better mousetrap...one that will ideally be completely fatal to the efforts of the jerks who are hijacking innocent websites for their own gain.

Following are some additional resources regarding email injection and how to fight it:

• Anders.com - This post is one of the earliest attempts to identify the problem and suggest solutions. From the same site, here's a summary of the issues.
• Secure PHP - More overview of the issues and possible solutions; mostly theory and requires a good understanding of PHP
• New York PHP - This user group article has a good explanation of the issues and some practical suggestions for addressing them.
• If you're using a PERL CGI mailer script, here's a source for an apparently secure version. In particular, if you're using ANY version of Matt Wright's FormMail.pl CGI script, you should immediately replace it with this new script. Why? Read this.

Technorati tag: Email Injection | Email Headers

Technical Distraction

Sorry for the dearth of posts, and the uninspiring quality of those that are making it through. I'm dealing with a particularly nasty email injection problem affecting website forms that generate emails. The sub-human genus known as spammers has found a way to hijack those forms and use them to send mass quantities of junk mail. This has resulted in innocent website owners getting the blame for the spam from their webhosts and/or ISPs, and threats of account cancellation, additional bandwidth fees, etc.

The solution(s) for this problem are theoretically straightforward, but not so easy to actually implement and test, and it doesn't help that I'm not a programmer. Anyway, the search for a practical fix is weighing me down right now, and I have no idea when things will get better. Bear with me.

Technorati tag: Email Injection

Clearing the Fog[horn]

Earlier this year, I wrote a post about a TV program from my childhood -- the Admiral Foghorn Show -- and it struck a chord with a number of local folks who also had fond memories of the show and its characters.

The discussion in the comments of that post raised questions about where the program was produced, although the consensus was that it was a local broadcast.

In one of those wonderful examples of how the net has occasionally made the world into a neighborhood, I just received an email that I believe provides the definitive answer to all the questions, as it comes from the Admiral himself (aka Paul Archinal...whose name I wouldn't have recalled unassisted in a million years, but which absolutely rings true now that I see it again, for the first time in decades):

I'm trying to get some additional information from Paul about his time in west Texas but haven't yet received a response.

Technorati tags: Admiral Foghorn | Paul Archinal

Movie Review: "Mad Hot Ballroom"

Mad Hot Ballroom is a documentary released earlier this year. If it had a theatrical release, I missed it, but it's now available on DVD and we rented it from NetFlix last week...and thoroughly enjoyed it.

The movie follows several groups of public elementary school students -- 5th graders, I think -- in New York City as the kids prepare for the annual citywide ballroom dance competition. The groups are ethnically diverse, although many are first-generation Americans and most are what we euphemistically refer to as "underprivileged." The documentary is fast-paced, taking us from beginning dance lessons to the final competition in about 90 minutes, but some of the kids make an indelible impression on the viewer with the way they combine dedication and skill with the fun (and anxiety) of being 10 or 11 years old in a wonderfully strange world.

The dance teachers are just as impressive, simultaneously hardnosed and tender-hearted. There's something special about watching teachers becoming tearful as they share their hopes and dreams for their students, and rejoice in their victories and empathize with their defeats. The male teachers are true father or older-brother figures to boys who don't have fathers at home, and they take those responsibilities very seriously.

The movie is about much more than kids learning to dance -- although it's most entertaining when it focuses on that action. As beginning ballroom dancers, MLB and I were, by turns, humbled and encouraged by watching the children master the basics of the same dances we're still trying to learn. But the real lessons for the students fall into such lofty categories as discipline, tolerance, self-esteem, good manners and respect for others. Come to think of it, I suspect that we all could benefit from a refresher course in those areas.

Mad Hot Ballroom is truly a movie the whole family can enjoy together, especially if you have kids who show any interest in the fields of music or dance. Nickelodeon is one of the production companies involved in the distribution of the film, if that's meaningful to you.

Aeon Flux: I've seen the future and it's boring

If nothing else (and there won't be) Aeon Flux will have the distinction of being the worst movie this year to star two Best Actress Academy Award winners. I figure Charlize Theron decided she had enough capital from her 2004 Oscar for Monster that she could afford to exchange it for some extra folding cash by making this snoozer. However, I have no explanation for Frances McDormand's participation.

OK, it wasn't awful; in fact, it was lacking in only a few areas. It just needed (1) an interesting plot, (2) good acting and (3) a smidgen of humor to provide the perfect context for some quite good special effects and imaginative settings. Alas, what we got was a mercifully short movie full of "dystopian future" clichés: an abundance of bare concrete, crowds of people moving to and fro with no apparent purpose other than to enjoy their perfect -- if dystopian -- existences, and a big honkin' wall to keep the "outside world" at bay. Oh, and throw in a ruthless, controlling Big Brother government just for good measure, complete with armed guards wearing the most ridiculous looking headgear since Carman Miranda. (Yeah, I know; that makes no sense at all. Just go with it.)

I'm constantly amazed at the creation of future worlds where technology has advanced to the point where one can swallow a pill that enables telepathic communication and people are bioengineered so that they can have hands where their feet once resided, and the flora have bad attitudes, yet the dominant weapon is a gun firing a bullet. Some of the bullets are Very Big, but they're still bullets. Whatever happened to rayguns?

If you're a sci-fi fan with high standards, I think you'll be disappointed with Aeon Flux. If you're not a sci-fi fan at all, just skip it. If you go to the movies only as an excuse to eat buttered popcorn, this one will work as well as any. At least we're drawing near to the arrival of King Kong and Chronicles of Narnia.

Technorati tag: Aeon Flux

Hypothetical Reasons Why Change is Bad

Change is a bad thing. Everybody knows this, but we've been brainwashed with the politically correct mantra that change is good and necessary and righteous. But, I don't believe it. Consider, for example, the following purely hypothetical scenario.

What if all of a sudden you decided -- hypothetically, of course -- that the Christmas lighting scheme you've been using for the past two decades...said scheme centered around yards and yards of white mini-lights...should be updated to the more fashionable and apparently higher class clear big bulb lights that are individually and uniformly installed along the roof line of your home? (You probably forgot that was a question, didn't you?) Here are some reasons why that change would be a bad thing, hypothetically.

1. Having embarked on this acti