My goal for tomorrow...

...is to post something that has nothing to do with Blogathon.

I also would like to stay awake all day.

Blogathon 2006 Prize Winners

As an indication of what my Monday has been like, I began this post at 6:30 a.m.

Here's the moment you've all been waiting for: the announcement of the winners of the Fire Ant Gazette's Blogathon Grand Prize and Photo Caption contests.

Both contests were hotly, um, contested, and while the Grand Prize winner was easily determined via an objective set of guidelines, the Photo Caption entrants were more problematic, due to my ill-advised decision to make myself the judge. With great power comes great responsibility; heavy lays the head that wears the crown; people who live in glass houses have ridiculously high homeowner insurance rates. Anyway, that contest got the most response of any, and generated about 30 comments.

Without further ado, behold the winners:

• The Grand Prize, for being the first to email a correct list of all header photos posted hourly throughout the Blogathon, goes to Mark.
  
  Mark is a Midlander, a former co-worker, and an IT professional who enjoys warm puppies, long walks in the evening mist, and quixotic little boutique Chardonnays, and hates mean people. For his efforts, Mark wins his choice of a $25 iTunes gift certificate or any item from the Gazette's CafePress Online Store (personalized, no less). If this sounds like an intelligence test, well, what can I say?


• As a surprise, the Gazette's celebrity-laden awards panel has elected to name a Grand Prize Runner-Up, in recognition of the recipient's special efforts and in an attempt to unload some dusty inventory. The Runner-Up and recipient of the "Second Place May Be Like Kissing Your Sister, But If You Still Get A Prize, It's Like Having Jessica Alba As Your Sister" Award goes to Sound Guy (aka Jon). Like Mark, Jon is an IT guy living in Midland, and he's also a former co-worker. Jon enjoys fuzzy kittens, lazy summer afternoons, and impudent-but-surprising syrahs from Côte Rotie.
  
  If Sound Guy's profile sounds similar to Mark's, it's because they tag-teamed this contest, filling in the gaps of each other's list. This was not a violation of the rules and I'm sorry if you either didn't think of it or didn't have any friends who would help you. OTOH, I also understand the power of mindless rage and I'll be happy to send the winners' addresses to each person who makes an additional $1,000 donation to Midland Fair Havens, in case you'd like to offer them tangible "congratulations" for being so resourceful.
  
  Jon's prize will be whatever's left in the inventory box after all the other awards are, um, awarded.


• After much internal debate amongst my Inner Voices ("You're an idiot!" "No, you are!" "Oh yeah, well what are you?"), I've decided to award the Photo Caption Prize to Jen P for suggesting James Brown's funky "Get Up Offa That Thing." This song got big props not only because it has a good beat and is easy to dance to, but also because many people tell me that I and James Brown have similar psychic auras, so I have that going for me.
  
  Jen is also a Midlander and she enjoys base jumping, competitive dogsledding, and body modification. She wins a coveted Fire Ant coffee mug for her creativity.
  
  I have to also make mention of a special entry in this contest, submitted by my mom, of all people. She suggested "A Long Day's Night" and then emailed me to make sure I knew that this was, indeed, a real song, by Blue Oyster Cult. I have no idea how she knows about this song, but I'm thinking there's a period in her life that I have no idea about.


• Last, but by no means least, I want to recognize Brian, the BeanQuester himself, and present him with the "George Washington 'I Cannot Tell A Lie, I Hacked Your Contest' Script Kiddie Special Achievement Award for Outstanding Accomplishment of Incredibly Trivial Ends" for his work in creating a PERL script to automatically retrieve each hour's header image so that he wouldn't have to stay up all night to win the contest. Only he then recused himself from the contest and emailed me to tell me what he was doing (although if I got his email I lost it somewhere in the middle of the hundreds of others that came across during the 'thon). Interestingly, there was no rule against doing what he did, nor would I have cared, but I commend Brian for his honesty, as well as his programmming skills. Of course, Brian won the first Gazette blogathon contest of the day -- "Name This Tool" -- so it's not like he really needed any additional affirmation. Update: Dang. I forgot to include a link to Brian's post where he explains just exactly how he pulled this off.

Well, there you have it. All the winners need to understand that they are responsible for the federal income tax implications associated with their awards, which, for write-off purposes I'm valuing at a couple million dollars each (I can do that, can't I, Gwynne?).

Emerging from the Haze

Well, that was fun. ;-)

Let's recap. Following 76 posts, over 8,000 words (that's what I've been doing since 8:00 a.m., counting words), 300 comments, 3,000 page views, 11 quizzes and contests, $3,000 in pledges, and 25 hours without sleep, I sat down to a lovely breakfast of homemade cinnamon rolls, scrambled eggs, bacon, grapefruit, and fresh berries. The coffee, oddly enough, lacked appeal to my caffeine-infused carcass, but I downed a cup anyway, knowing what was ahead.

I made it through the worship service without falling off the camera stand or blowing any shots, although I could never understand why the director wouldn't take my perfectly framed pan of the pink camel with dragon's wings strolling down the church aisle at one point. We got home shortly after 11:00 a.m. and, following 28 consecutive hours without sleep, I took a nap. A wonderful, glorious nap, from which I arose freshened, alive, ready to shake the world's hand, spit in its eye, and wrestle with angels. Yeah, right.

I was still whipped, but in a less death-march-like fashion. We both were hungry so we hied ourselves to On The Border for some high-fat pseudo-Tex Mex, and then to $tarbucks for [non-caffeinated] frappuccinos. Returning home, I fell into the recliner and snoozed, snorted, and snored my way through the ending of Bram Stoker's Dracula and the beginning of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, it being Pervert The Classics Day on the Sci-Fi Channel. (And what's up with SFI running a wrestling show? OK, we all know its fiction, but, still...)

Which brings us up-to-date. The head's beginning to clear, and I think I can stay awake until bedtime, and I expect to be fully recovered in time for the usual 5:30 a.m. wakeup alarm in the morning.

It's tempting to say that I'm getting too old for this sort of thing, but I'm pretty sure that's what I was tempted to say last year, and I'm fairly certain it's what I'll say next year. I'm still punked enough at this point to look to you, dear readers, and claim that if you can dish it out, I can take it.

And, man, can you dish it out!

We'll be announcing the final contest winners in the morning. It's not too late to submit entries for both the header photo contest and the photo caption contest. Nor -- need I remind you? -- is it too late to make a pledge on behalf of Midland Fair Havens.

In closing, in the belief that if I'm going to get on your nerves it ought to be for incessantly thanking you -- thank you!

Last Reminder

If you want to be in the running for the overall grand prize (or -- just announced -- the runner-up overall prize), be sure to email your list of header images to me as soon as possible. The most complete lists win; in the event of a tie, the earliest in wins. The deadline is 24 hours from now.

Also, feel free to continue submitting photo caption entries until I say otherwise. I'll try to name a winner for that contest in the morning as well.

Vaya con Dios, amigos!

Adieu, adieu, to you and you and you...

Checking in at Blogathon HQ, I see that 285 blogs participated, with total pledges of just over $96,700. The Gazette's pledge total remains as seen at right...for now.

A little publicized fact is that pledges will be accepted for another 48 hours, so if you know anyone who might be interested, feel free to point them in this direction.

If today's totals remain unchanged, The Gazette's total ranks third highest overall (we were in second place until some really big pledges arrived late in another blog's campaign). I'll have to get with Jimmy later to get a grand total for Midland Fair Havens.

Many, many, many thanks to all of you for making this a successful and almost uniformly enjoyable Blogathon (there's still that nasty detail about staying up for 24 hours ;-).

I'll have one more reminder post in a bit...some last minute housekeeping details. But a blessing on your heads and those of your families for your kindnesses to this geeky blogger!

Shower Break

I'm off for a(nother) shower and shave, then one more post, then we're outta here!

See you in a tad...

Contest Winners Recap

Just to make sure we're all on the same page, here's the list of the Gazette's contest winners, recognizing that the jury is still out on a few of the prizes (which are shown as TBD):

• Quiz #1 - Name that Tool (welding magnet) - Prize: Coaster - Winner: Brian


• Quiz #2 - HEB Visitor - Prize: Coaster - Winner: Toni


• Quiz #3 - Music Quiz #1 - LaGrange by Hank Williams, Jr. - No winner


• Quiz #4 - Music Quiz #2 - Medley - Prize: Coffee mug - Winner: No winner


• Quiz #5 - Album Cover #1 - Mothers of Invention - Prize: Coffee mug - Winner: Kyle


• Quiz #6 - FAS 2 - Accounting for R&D costs - Prize: Fire Ant Eggs - Winner: Gwynne


• Quiz #7 - Photo Caption/Song Title - Prize: Coffee mug - Winner: TBD


• Quiz #8 - Music Quiz #3 - Medley - Prize: Coaster - Winner: Jon


• Quiz #9 - Album Cover #2 - Nena - Prize: Coffee Mug - Winner: Rachel


• Quiz #10 - Music Quiz #4 - Hymn Medley - Prize: Coffee Mug - Winner: Phyllis


• Quiz #11 - Header image tracking - Prize: TBD - Grand Prize winner: TBD


• Quiz #11 - Header image tracking - Prize: TBD - Runner-up: TBD

Congratulations to the winners, as well as those who will become winners once the "TBDs" are D'ed.

Album Cover Contest #2: We have a winner

Rachel proved her intrepidness and perseverance by identifying the mystery record in the cover art contest #2 as that of 99 Luft Balloons by the German one-hit wonder (in the States, anyway) Nena.

I'll uncover the rest of it in just a moment so you can see it in all its understated glory.

New signs of life

Now this I don't recall from last year...the waking up and rejoining of the dialog of folks who went deep into the night with our blogging efforts. It's pretty cool to contemplate, to be in the eye of the storm, so to speak (although I guess that analogy is actually backwards, since I'm the one generating all the commotion, or at least seeding it. On the other hand, since I know what's coming, and everyone else is just reacting, maybe I have the easy part. On the third hand, I'm probably overanalyzing the situation.)

Jimmy and I were having a brief discussion about the local blogging community, and while we didn't reach any conclusions -- heck, we didn't even reach consciousness -- I'm of the opinion that there's a community of sorts in our little corner of cyberspace that's just as real as many brick-and-mortar neighborhoods.

I don't know where I was going with that; maybe someone else can finish my thoughts.

(Sorry; I get all maudlin and philosophical around 5:50 a.m. every Sunday morning. Or I would if I was normally awake. I'm just sure of it.)

RAGBRAI Report Discovered Too Late

I just discovered that the Wall Street Journal had a guy riding in Register's Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa (RAGBRAI) and blogging (sort of) about his experience.

Unfortunately, the ride ended today. Oops, I mean yesterday.

RAGBRAI is one of the great traditions of American cycling. According to its website, its the "oldest, longest and largest touring bicycling event in the world." Lance Armstrong says he's going to ride it next year. Wonder if Floyd Landis will accompany him?

Live at Five

I'm not sure why, but making it to five a.m. seems like a milestone. Like, if you can survive 'til five, you can surely wait 'til eight. (That needs to be read in your best Muhammed Ali accent for the proper effect. Take all necessary steps to avoid sounding like Johnny Cochran.)

It's still depressing to see folks on the east coast speak of the impending sunrise, given that we're still ninety minutes or so from seeing the beginnings of that blessed event.

But, I have to say, I think we've got this thing licked.

Hotel ZaZa

I was going to post something about the Hotel ZaZa, but then I visited the website of this "luxury boutique hotel" located in "uptown Dallas" (wherever that is), and decided that it's just too foo-foo to fool with.

Content Desperation

Here's how hard up for blogging material I've become. I'm doing Real Work, just so I can post about it.

That's right. As I post from my laptop, I have my desktop computer busily engaged in creating a Photoshop Web Gallery for a client. I figure that's good for one post and/or thirty minutes, whichever comes first.

I guess that's pretty sad. OTOH, at least I get paid for it, enough to cover my Red Bull and Starbucks tabs for the day.

It's a little depressing...

...to consider that it's almost 4:00 a.m. and yet -- and yet! -- there're still four hours to go. At the rate I'm regressing, I'll be lucky to post the text that appears on my cellphone keypad in an hour or so.

Nevertheless, this counts!

Album Cover Contest #2: Even more uncovered

Generous soul that I am, I've uncovered yet more squares on the second cover art contest.

An Intriguing Mystery

Back when I was still conscious, I asked the Gazette readers to submit ideas for posts, knowing that I'd need some help later on. Now, dear friends, is "later on." And, fortunately for all of us, that help has materialized.

A kind soul who happens to be semi-related to my wife in a convoluted fashion sent an email with a story that I think is worth sharing with you. (Heck, even if it wasn't worth sharing, I'd do it anyway; anything to get a post in.) It may be hard to assimilate at 3:00 in the a.m., but if you can stay with it, the payoff is worthwhile. I make no claims as to its authenticity or origin...just enjoy it for what it is.

Subject: FW: whodunit

A true story from Associated Press

Julie's Epic Western

When we get past the 16th hour, the mere mortals among us Blogathoners spend most of our time writing about what a slog this has become, how tired and sleepy we are, how lonely it's gotten as our non-thon compatriots drop out one-by-one, leaving us to battle the demons of fatigue and drudgery. Poor us; poor, poor us.

Then there are those -- sadly few in number -- like Julie, who refuse to settle for anything less than steady and even brilliant creativity, whether or not anybody's still awake to enjoy it.

She's got 35 chapters up as of this post, and there's some really amazing stuff in there, things that I'm too addled at this point to have any clue about (see...there I go).

Album Cover Contest #2 Updated

Despite the fact that we're all well past caring, I've uncovered a bit more of the cover art in the Album #2 contest.

Hey, if I guess the name of the album, do I get to keep the mug?

Not that there's any chance of that happening.

What happens later...

Say, did I happen to mention what's next on my agenda after Blogathon ends in six hours?

Well, there will be the obligatory shower and shave, and MLB whipped up a batch of cinnamon rolls tonight which will become a hot breakfast. And then, off to bed...NOT!

As was the case last year, today happens to be one of the Sundays I'm committed to operating a TV camera during our church service, so I'll be at church from about 9:20 until 10:45 a.m. Assuming I don't keel over and fall off the camera stand, I'll then be able to come home and get some sleep.

So, let's recap, shall we? Up at 7:00 a.m. yesterday morning...until 7:00 this morning...that's 24 hours...then four more, roughly, until nappy time. 28 hours without sleep, I make it.

It's an ugly thought, until placed in the context of $3,000 raised for Midland Fair Havens...and then it's not too bad. Not bad at all.

Blogathon Music Quiz #4

And now, as they say, for something completely different.

As I proved last year, owning a guitar and being able to play one are two entirely different matters. However, this year I'm much more confident in my incompetence, to the point where I've actually created a music quiz using no outside talent. Well, as you'll soon hear, I completely bypassed the application of talent.

Anyway, here's the deal. For a coffee mug, anybody can play, pledger or not, previous winner or not. I need only the name of each of the ten songs in this medley.

By the way, this is a 750kb mp3, in case your connection speed is a concern. And save your comments about the out-of-tune guitar. At this time of the morning, I'm lucky I knew which side to strum.

Bonus points to whoever can tell me the characteristic that applies to this group of songs as a whole.

Album Cover Contest #2: More Cowbell

OK, there's not really more cowbell, but there is more of the cover art to be seen, thanks to Gwynne's gentle reminder to get off my lazy rear and provide some more hints.

Drum Roll, Please

I was just sent a cryptic email wondering if I shouldn't check the official Gazette pledge total, which I did...and, sure enough, we've just broken through the magic $3,000 barrier. Outstanding!

I'd whoop it up more but I'm trying to conserve energy for things like propping my eyelids open. Plus, I'm practicing the guitar.

Be afraid; be very afraid.

Death defying acts portrayed herein

If you look quickly enough...say, before 1:00 a.m. CDT...you'll see in the header the photo of me on my Easy Racer "Black Gold" recumbent, balancing my Powerbook in my lap. You can't make it out because it's so small, but I assure you it's there: "Professional driver on closed course."

My wife, who was snapping the photos, wanted me to sit stationarily (uh, that doesn't look right), but I insisted on actually riding the bike, not wanting to cheat my readers who demand, above all things, accuracy and honesty.

Just thought you should know.

Music Contest #3 finally dies a merciful death

After much wailing and gnashing of teeth, Sound Guy (whom I happen to know by his real name -- Audio Automaton) has finally snatched victory from the jaws of futility, and for all his trouble, wins a measly Fire Ant coaster. Which is still pretty cool, especially if you have a big hole in your backsplash and your kitchen is decorated in Fire Ant motif. (And, really, whose isn't?)

Now, about that album cover contest...

Album Cover Contest #2

Update: This one got solved, and it was as difficult as I predicted.

We seem to be in this soggy rut, but let's play it on out. While you continue to think about that last pesky tune in the song medley, here's an album cover to worry over:

I've given up guessing which contests will be easy and which will be challenging. But, I think this one's pretty difficult, so it's open to any Gazette pledger, previous winner or not, and the prize is a coffee mug.

High on Life

Yep, that's me, as I near the bottom of my Venti Café Mocha (or is it Caffé Mocha?) with TWO extra shots, delivered not once but twice by MLB. I'm now vibrating at approximately the same frequency as my WIFI connection.

And this is true love: she returned with my chococaffeine and noticed that they'd checked the little "decaf" box on the cup. Against my weak protestations, she went back and got another one.

Anyway, I'm good (well, in a relative way) for another couple of hours...and I've got two Red Bulls aging in the fridge when the current fix wears off.

Then, as a last resort, there's that old meth lab that I kept around for who knows what reason but is starting to look like a pretty good decision.

Music Quiz #3: What's the deal?

You guys have gotten awfully quiet about that last medley, and with just one song left to identify.

I'm tempted to give you a big hint, but I still think you can figure it out, so I'll wait a while longer.

I remember this

This is the time of night where folks start drifting away, like the Teddy Bears spirited off by their Mommies and Daddies following their picnic. I don't blame them, but it starts getting pretty quiet around here and I wonder if anyone's left to read what I'm writing.

But, frankly, that's not really important. Aw, I love it when folks read and respond to the things I write, and it makes the time go faster and stay more enjoyable during Blogathon, but all I really signed up for was to keep posting, at least twice an hour, and that doesn't depend on readers.

So, to those who are able to stick around, by virtue of either geography or will, I appreciate the company...but don't feel guilty if you can't resist the call of slumber. I have plenty of voices to accompany me through the night.

And here's another thing...

Want to know what being a freelancer is like? I just got an email from a client asking me to do a quick update of his website.

Update: Make that TWO clients wanting updates...at 10:45 p.m. on a Saturday night. *sigh* They must know what my social life is like. ;-)

About that IM thing

I know I said that I was probably going to activate my IM program this evening, but it's not going to happen and it's all Bill Gates's fault.

It's been awhile since I used MSN Messenger and when I fired it up a few minutes ago, I got a message to the effect that there was an newer version and I would have to upgrade in order to continue. Resigned to my fate, I clicked the "proceed" button (that should have been labeled "abandon all hope, ye who click here") and the installer was downloaded. I started walking through the installation process and found that I would have to create a new .net or Passport account or something that would allow Microsoft to clone my DNA and inject it into the savage experiments being carried out by Medical Clowns on the payroll of some foundation and I figured it wasn't worth it just so I'd have yet another means of communication that I couldn't keep up with.

So, if any of you were actually planning to IM me tonight, I apologize. Maybe you could just email me and I could, like, try to answer really quickly or something.

Sheesh, that 30 minutes...

...flew by. Where was I?

Well, how about that...

...I just noticed that someone left a new pledge, bringing us wonderfully close to the $3,000 mark. Thanks very much, Mr. (or Ms.) Anonymous...that's terrific!

Music Quiz #3: Another medley

I've been instructed to put up another music quiz before *someone* gets all tired and grumpy.

Same rules (I think) as before; Gazette pledgers only, previous winners OK, list song title AND artist in comments. Good luck!

Oh, this one's really easy...I'm ashamed to even put it up.

Oops...forgot to mention the prize. It's too easy for a coffee cup. Coaster. Yeah, that's the ticket; a coaster.

20 Questions...Minus 8

Here's a Q&D (quick and dirty) shot at some of the questions/suggestions you've proposed for posts:

Know any good jokes?

Four fonts walk into a bar and the barman says "Get out! We don't want your type in here!"

Are there any stars out yet?

Hmm. This is Queen Beepy's allusion to the Great Blogathoner Fall of 2005. You can search it out on the Gazette if you must know. But I'm not even going there this year.

A Faith thing...name something that puzzles you or awes you or something like that.

I'm awed by how faith can unite people of otherwise diverse and possibly irreconcilable differences.

The how you met YLB story....

I first laid eyes on her across a high school band hall.

The how Abbye came to live with you story...

Saturday adoption clinic at PetSmart. She was so cowed she wouldn't walk to you...just crawled on her belly. Who could have made her that way? And who could resist such scared sweetness?

How did you come to be involved with Midland Fair Havens?

This is my only active involvement with MFH. It's just a small thing I can do to help in a big job. Good people, great work, Christ-centered.

What books are on your current reading list?

"The Detonators" "The Long Tail" "Freakonomics" "King Dork" "Quicksilver" (still!)

Don't have time to provide links; they're all at Amazon.

What do you plan to do all night in between blog posts?

Prepare posts.

What is the key to making a clean escape from the world of corporate dronage?

Marry well.

What is your favorite color?

The color of a newborn baby's innocence. Heck. I don't know. White. No. Black. No, gray... ;-)

How about how YLB plans to make it through Blogathon 2006?

Other than making a Starbucks run on my behalf, her routine won't be altered.

Favorite vacations?

The kind we get to take. But, specifically, bicycling through Summit County, CO; scuba diving off Bonaire, NA; hiking in the Guadalupe Mountains; strolling the Riverwalk in San Antonio.

Sway

Gotta say, there's nothing like dancing a few rhumba steps to The Pussycat Dolls' version of Sway to get things moving again.

It's almost as good as caffeine!

You ask...I answer

Several of you have sent suggestions for posts either via comment or email. They're all really good and I'll see if I can work something up to address them, given the built-in constraints of time and energy.

But, first...I'm going to dance with my wife for a minute. Ha!

As the sun sets, so too does my creativity

Physically, I'm feeling good. Mentally, I'm toast. Drawing a blank, here. I could put up another contest but I don't want to wear you guys out. Plus, one I have in mind requires me to actually do some work, so I have to figure that out.

Let's see...maybe it's your turn to generate the ideas.

What should I post about next?

Music Quiz #2: Time's Up!

I must say that I'm surprised that nobody guessed the fifth clip in the Music Quiz #2 medley: God is a DJ by Pink, from the Mean Girls movie soundtrack.

I guess the juxtaposition of a relatively new song with all those oldies threw you for a loop.

It's really a very catchy tune.

Not to worry...got another medley ready to go up in a bit.

Shooting the Dog

I had to take a few minutes and attend to the second most distasteful chore of the day, giving Abbye her insulin shot. (The most distasteful is a tie: giving her the morning shot.) Most of you know that she was diagnosed as diabetic earlier this year, and that she's now blind as a result.

The good news is that she seems to be feeling very well, and she's gained back all the weight she lost, and grown back all the hair she lost.

But she hates those shots with a passion...and she's already a little drama queen to begin with. Her pitiful whimpering and twitching may be her way of ensuring that the post-shot treats are plentiful and delicious -- and it's a strategy that pays off without fail. She's got us trained pretty well.

I have no idea why she's so cockeyed in this photo. I guess she was in the middle of a one-eyed blink.

"Pitiful Dessert?"

I'm sure you're wondering about my choice in desserts following the sumptuous repast I described, but there's method in my madness. Something that worked really well last year was when my wife -- 50% saint, 50% angel, 50% whatever's better than those two combined -- went to Starbucks just before closing time and brought back a venti cafe mocha with an extra shot. She's agreed to do that again tonight (only I think there'll need to be two extra shots). That will be my delayed-gratification, super-caffeination dessert.

Plus, I really like malted milk balls.

OK, I know you're dying to know...

Boneless ribs, fresh grilled portabello mushrooms, Pecos cantaloupe, organic spring greens, grape tomatoes and avocado salad, and buttered French bread.

And malted milk balls for dessert.

Have I mentioned that my wife is a very good cook? ;-)

I'm back

I could post like this all night long.

I hope my monitor has a sense of humor!

Dinner Break

Be back in a few...visit my 'thoning neighbors while I'm gone. They'll love you for it!

Album Cover Contest #1 - We have a winner!

We finally have a winner for our first album cover contest, as Kyle correctly identified the Sgt. Pepper parody as coming from We're Only In It For The Money, by Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention.

Kyle wins the Fire Ant mug (but I don't think he even drinks coffee!)

Follow the link to see the fully-exposed cover.

Trivia note: Kyle's the lead guitarist for the Justin Cofield Band, and I'm planning to do a review of their latest album -- which is quite good -- when I get caught up on my sleep after this thing.

Photo Caption Contest

Update: You guys are starting to hit your pace...keep it up. The contest will stay open until everyone gets tired of it.

Here's a change of pace...something for you creative types to gnaw on.

Below is a photo. Write a caption for it. Leave it in the comments. The one I think is best wins a coffee mug.

Oh, and the caption must be the title of a song (verifiable by Googling, in case you use something really obscure).

Let's see...this one's just for Gazette pledgers, but previous winners are eligible.

I know...this one's very subjective. Humor me. Better yet, make me laugh!

Music Quiz #2: Hint

My pal, Sound Guy, emailed me and politely requested a hint for the last clip in Music Quiz #2.

The best hint I can give is that he was on the right track when he referred to his daughter's CD collection. I threw this one in there for the kids in the crowd. You know who you are.

We see ants

My past Blogathoning experience tells me that somewhere into Hour Nine one develops something like a mental vapor lock, and has to resort to, well, gimmicks in order to meet the relentless post quota. And thus, readers are treated to things...things, um...like this:

Bet you didn't know that I've now got my own line of paper napkins, did you?

Cover Art Contest Update

I've just uncovered more of the album artwork from Cover Contest #1. Did it help?

Nutless

It's the oddest thing. Our big ol' pecan tree in the back yard is giving every sign of producing not a single pecan this year. Not one.

I haven't investigated any of the neighbors' trees to see if theirs are in the same boat, but I have seen trees in other places that seem to have a pretty good crop.

I guess the late hard freeze we got last winter came just at the wrong time. But here's the thing: I'm really happy about this development, because our tree produces the World's Worst Pecans. Ever.

They're a native variety and they cannot be extricated in halves from the shell by any process known to man or squirrel. In fact, the squirrels around here don't eat them immediately; they just bury them to try to soften them up (and as a result, we have baby pecan trees growing in all of our outdoor planters and throughout our yard).

The only downside I can see to this situation is that we'll probably have a whole raft of hungry squirrels in our front drive holding signs that read "Will work for food." And, take my word for it, they make lousy hired hands...much too easily distracted.

Oh, look. A baby squirrel...

What's sadder than blogging for 24 consecutive hours?

I'm not sure, but I think there's a clue in the following sentence, pulled from an email sent by a friend with regard to the Gazette's Blogathon involvement:

Talk about pressure. Not only do I have to live up to my commitment to the pledgers, I have to be entertaining for two guys with too much time on their hands!

New Contest

OK, let's try something entirely new and different. For a bag of Fire Ant Eggs, identify the source of the following quote (filling in the blank isn't sufficient, by the way):

This contest is open to anyone, anywhere (within the boundaries of the continental US, due to customs issues with the exportation of the prize ;-).

Many thanks...

While I'm still semi-lucid (this is going to be much harder than last year, I can already tell), I need to convey thanks to:

• HEB, for letting us set up shop for five hours in their dining area and impose our mystifying presence on their shoppers;


• ClearWire, for providing a very reliable and fast internet connection so that we could bring you all the bloggy goodness you saw earlier;


• My pal Jimmy, for making the arrangements, and who, even though he doesn't share his food particularly well, was nevertheless an engaging guy to blog next to;


• MLB, for buying lunch and then sticking around to eat it with me;


• Jerri, from Midland Fair Havens, for the four-pack of Red Bull, which will be even more of a blessing later on;


• Each of you who've continued to visit the site and leave comments, because they're keeping me alive;


• And last, but actually first in our hearts, all of you who have made pledges to benefit Fair Havens!

I would be remiss in my responsibilities if I failed to remind you that you may still pledge. Just click the link near the upper right corner and let the magic of the internet guide you the rest of the way.

Album Cover Contest #1

While youse guys are percolating over the identity of the fifth song in the medley that is Fire Ant Music Quiz #2, you might distract yourselves by trying to identify the following album cover (album name and artist, please).

I'll periodically uncover more of the album until we get a winner. You must be a Gazette pledger to win, but repeat winners are allowed, and the prize is another large coffee mug.

Music Quiz #1: Time's up!

I'm not surprised no one got this right, because it's sort of a trick clip. Most everyone probably guessed correctly that the song is La Grange, but it's not the version by ZZ Top.

This version is actually by Hank Williams, Jr.

So, no winners for this one. The fabulous prize goes back into the pot.

Computer Tip

When you're getting ready to switch over from your laptop to your desktop, and you've plugged in the a/c adapter for your laptop, and you've slid the caster-mounted table on which it sits back into place, make sure that one of the jillion other a/c adapters that are laying on the floor doesn't catch the corner of the table and get pushed too far back, so that it, well, you know, shuts off your UPS...the one your desktop is attached to.

Excuse me while I reboot.

Who says you never have to reboot Apples?

Transitioning back to La Hacienda

We've shut down at HEB and I am back at home, trying to get reorganized to blog via the desktop.

Figured you want to know that.

Blogathon Music Quiz #2

I suppose it doesn't bode well that no one has been able to identify the first music clip, but I'm not giving up on you guys. Here's another one to try. Same rules as before: Gazette pledgers only, no previous prize winners. The difference in this contest is the prize, a large Fire Ant Gazette coffee mug. Ooooooooh...

Just listen to this series of five clips and identify the songs and artists.

It's really easy. Trust me. ;-)

Random Visits

You'd think, wouldn't you, that given the frenetic pace of Blogathon I wouldn't have time to obsess over the Gazette's visitor statistics.

Well, you'd be wrong, of course. You obviously have a lot to learn about blogging and bloggers.

Anyway, I just noticed that we got a visit via Banana Slug, which bills itself as "the Long-Tail Search Engine." Apparently, this engine adds a random word to whatever phrase you're searching for, and then presents a list of results for that "seeded phrase."

I can't imagine what someone would be searching for that, with the addition of a completely random word, would lead them to the Gazette. Unless it's something like:

Original search phrase: Intellectually stimulating and engaging articles

Random word: Not

We have a winner...

We have a winner in our fabulous "Come By HEB and Compliment My Dog" contest.

She was reluctant, claiming that her dog was actually the cutest, but you know that people will do almost anything -- including smash their previously absolute moral foundations -- to win Gazette merchandise.

Congratulations, Toni...the tile will go well in your new home!

Anyway, even though you can't win that contest, you could still come up to HEB and say hi. We have two large bags of M&Ms, which I'm happy to share with you (since they belong to Jimmy).

Celebrity Visitors

The stream of celebrities never ends:

This is Wallace's normal pose: standing behind a camera. You know Wallace, don't you, of Streams fame.

Lunch Break

Well, I did this sort of backwards, eating lunch first and then announcing a lunch break.

Anyway, the sushi was great: pot stickers, something called "Crunchy Rolls," and spring rolls. And I got to eat with MLB, which was fun.

I think Jimmy's going to try to blackmail me with a photo of me eating sushi, but he greatly overestimates my pride.

Behind the Blogathon Scenes: The Technology

As long as I'm sort of trapped here (but I don't mean that in a bad way), I've decided to experiment with some pretty cool technology in the photography area. I've got my Canon Digital Rebel XT connected via USB port to my 17" Powerbook, and I'm using Canon's EOS Capture software to control the camera. The shutter is controlled by the spacebar, and the photo loads automatically into another Canon software package, ImageBrowser. From there, I can pick it up in Photoshop and make it web-friendly.

Here's an example:

People Watching

We're not in an extremely high traffic area of the store, but there's still a steady stream of folks walking by, some of them pushing carts, others heading to the restrooms that are across the aisle from us (thankfully!).

Many of them glance our direction, and then do a classic double-take, trying to make sense of the banner describing what we're up to, without, you know, appearing to stare (people around here are very polite). You can tell by their expressions that most of them haven't the faintest idea of what a blog is, nor is their interest piqued to find out. I don't blame them; I don't come to the grocery store for any reason other than to get groceries...preferably as quickly and distraction-free as possible.

I wish we were more entertaining, but I couldn't talk Jimmy into bringing his unicycle.

Oh, and just as a reminder...I'm still waiting on someone to stop by and say "Abbye is the cutest dog I've ever seen." Don't make me lug this coaster back home.

Blogging in the company of a journalist: A cautionary tale

Here's what I'm having to endure, blogging next to Jimmy:

See, he thinks that I don't see him eating a burrito from Jumburrito. He thinks he's hiding behind the screen of his ultra-expensive Sony Vaio laptop.

But payback is heck. Pretty soon, I'll have some pot stickers and California sushi rolls and he'll be drooling out of the other side of his mouth.

An Administrative Note

We interrupt our regularly scheduled Content Free™ posting to bring you this important announcement: please don't get your feelings hurt if I fail to reply to your comment(s).

Rest assured that I'm reading every one of them (some of them multiple times, trying to make sense), but due to the indescribable strain of keeping up the quality of bloggage, I can't respond to each one. At least, not in writing. You have my promise that I'm replying in my head.

As I said near the beginning of this thing, your input and interaction is very much appreciated, and I apologize in advance if it appears that I'm not living up to my end of the bargain.

OK, where were we? Oh yeah...baby squirrels...

A royal shout-out

I was reminded that I was remiss in acknowledging our Ad Hoc Blogathon Semi-Official But Fully Operational Queen Beepy Sleth, who is doing almost as much work but for only a pittance of the glory.

You can find her linked under the Blogathon Neighbors at right, in case you lose this post. Stop by and say hi. You might also let me know what's on her audio post, as it's too noisy in here for me to listen to it.

Music Quiz #1

Time for a music quiz (be still, my beating heart). Here's a brief musical clip. Tell me, in the comments section, who recorded it.

This quiz is open to Gazette pledgers only, and previous winners have to sit this one out (sorry, Brian).

The winner gets a -- what else? -- Fire Ant coaster. (Got a ton of these things to unload, you know?)

Well, that was interesting...

For those of you whose Saturday is obviously wanting for excitement and who are therefore tracking the hourly Gazette header image updates in hopes of winning the Fabulous Grand Prize, I apologize for the mess I just made of the 11:00 a.m. (CDT) upload.

It's not my fault. The dog ate my homework. The sun was in my eyes. I'm just on my first can of Red Bull.

I promise to make better excuses in the future.

'Thoning Neighbors Report

Be sure to pop over to Julie's place, where she's re-creating Lonesome Dove...sort of. It's a hoot, and I'll bet she's busier than an HEB sacker/bagger on Thanksgiving eve.

Photographic Evidence

Here's our cushy digs at HEB. The tension and excitement is palpable. Note Jimmy's stylish NY headgear. (Update: And, um, chestgear.)

Jimmy's already delirious, as you can see. Poor guy.

Giveaway #1

OK, now that we're getting settled in at HEB, we'd like to see you drop by and say "hi." (In quotes, no less.)

The first person who comes by HEB and says within my hearing (and comprehension) "Abbye is the cutest dog I've ever seen" will get a coveted Fire Ant Gazette ceramic coaster.

And while you're here, learn some more about the great work Midland Fair Havens is doing!

Appearing Live At A Market Near You: The Virtual Dementia Tour

I suppose that when one finds oneself agreeing to unpaid public appearances at the local grocery store, that's when one must come to the conclusion that one's career is, at best, on the downhill slide.

Unless, of course, that "one" is moi, in which case said appearance marks the apex of his celebrity career.

Yeah, OK. I also realize that the apex and the downhill can -- and will -- occur simultaneously, sort of like Milli Vanilli's musical career.

I'm off to HEB in just a sec, to join mi compatrot Jimmy who, I hope, has already established a beachhead.

Rain

Speaking of rain, we got some. In fact, for the first time since June 23, we got measurable precip here at Fire Ant Manse, about 1.2". Other parts of town got even more.

Unfortunately, it appeared that Rock the Desert was one of those locations situated in the middle of the heaviest downpour, and once again, some of the headliners were bumped, including Jeremy Camp and Delirious? (um, the question mark is actually part of the group's name, in case you didn't know).

Perhaps later we'll explore whether RTD's unfortunate circumstances have any spiritual implications or origins, so you might want to pull out your copy of Why Bad Things Happen To Good Special Events and do some studying.

Otherwise, the rain was a wonderful blessing in west Texas. Sorry, RTD...I'm still hoping we get a little more today.

TMI

OK, we're settling into a routine now (meaning that I'm composing posts by letting my nose hit the keyboard as I nod off). This is one of those updates known as "just getting by." I'm off for a quick shower and shave in anticipation of meeting an adoring public.

The night behind and the day ahead

Oy. You wouldn't believe the night I had. I think I mentioned in an earlier post that I was on allergy medication, using that as an excuse for either mental clarity or complete befuddlement...I forget which. Regardless, that turned out to be prophetic, as a front came through last night, bringing along with the blessing of rain some really nasty allergens. As seems to be the case, just when I most needed a good night's sleep, I ended up getting what seemed like none at all. I was up at 3:30 a.m. hitting the medicine cabinet.

Poor, poor me.

We've got a busy day ahead of us, of course. If you're in Midland and are into extreme sports like watching paint dry or reading columns by Helen Thomas, you'll be fascinated by the liveblogging that Jimmy Patterson and I will be doing from 10:00 a.m. until 3:00 p.m. at HEB (for you non-Texans, that's a grocery store. Well, I really don't know how far outside of Texas HEB's domain extends.)

The Gazette also has a series of contests and quizzes lined up, as usual, so be sure to check in over the next, um, 23 hours and 23 minutes (but who's counting?). And make sure you're recording the little header photo above, if you want to compete in the Fabulous Grand Prize Contest.

Here's what keeps me going, even with the lack of sleep behind me and before me: your comments, emails, and -- perhaps -- IMs (stay tuned for that later). Love to hear from you...love it!

P.S. Guess what? It's not too late to pledge. In fact, you can pledge right up until 8:00 a.m. in the morning. That's right; grace is abundant on the Gazette.

Blogathon Quiz #1: Name That Tool!

Daylight's burning...time for some of the Good Stuff!

Let's start our quizzing with something easy. The first person to correctly identify the following tool and tell what it's used for will win a genuine Fire Ant Gazette ceramic tile coaster.

Oh, by the way, you must have made a pledge via the Gazette's Blogathon link to be eligible for the prize.

Blogathon 2006: Ready to Rumble?

Test...test...test. Is this thing on? Testing...1, 2, 3...

Dang, I'm sleepy already.

Well, anyway, welcome to the 2006 edition of Blogathon, the Fire Ant Gazette Edition. We'll be here for the next 24 hours, boring you to tears hopefully proving that not all Darwin Award-worthy performances end in fatalities.

By the way, did you know that hopefully, as used in the preceding sentence, is just another sad example of the impending collapse of western civilization. According to Bryan A. Garner's excellent Garner's Modern American Usage, hopefully is now a "skunked term," meaning that it (along with its posse of data, decimate, enormity, and, likely but not actually addressed, posse) is somewhere in the middle of a continuum that stretches from the original intended use of the word all the way over to a new and improved usage, but until it arrives at its destination, those who inhabit either end of the continuum will pooh-pooh any usage of the word whatsoever. OK, there's more to it than that, but we've got better things to do. Hopefully.

Let's review, shall we? We're here on behalf of Midland Fair Havens, a Midland-based ministry that provides transitional housing and much more to single mothers and their children. Many of these women have left abusive situations, and many don't have all the skills necessary to be successful. Fair Havens is doing great work in helping these women get back on their feet, acquire those skills, and also develop a spiritual and emotional foundation that will serve them and their children well in the future.

So, while I think we'll have some fun -- a lot of fun, hopefully (ha!) -- keep in mind it's for a great cause. If you haven't made a pledge but would like to do so, you can click the link near the upper right corner of this page any time during the next 24 hours. And if you've already made a pledge, you have our deepest appreciation; it's a very good thing you've done.

Now, let's get after it, shall we?

Blogathon: Contest Rules

We're a few hours away from the beginning of Blogathon, which kicks off bright and early at 8:00 a.m. (CDT) tomorrow. I've lost count of the number of people who have asked about the rules for the grand prize, which says more about my counting ability than about the interest in the contest. Nevertheless, I figured I'd share the rules in advance so you can decide whether it's anything you want to get wrapped up in.

But first, the carrot. The grand prize this year will be the winner's choice of either (1) a $25 gift certificate from iTunes or (b) your pick of any one item from the Fire Ant Gazette's extensive and tawdry CafePress Online Store. If you're unimpressed with the latter, then your standards are as high as I anticipated, and that's why I'm throwing in this twist: not only do you get to pick an item, but I will customize the graphic on that item to personalize it to your specification (within reason and within my limited graphic skills).

Now, the contest. If you checked in during Blogathon 2005, you surely learned your lesson, but we're going to do something similar. Each hour, beginning at 8:00 a.m., a new "Blogging from..." photo will be posted in the header of the Gazette's home page. Keep track of those photos. The winner will be the person who emails to me (info -at- ericsiegmund -dot- com) the most complete list of the locations shown in those photos -- in the same sequence they appeared on the website -- by 8:00 a.m. (CDT) on Monday, July 31. In the event that more than one person correctly identifies the same number of photos in the proper sequence, the winner will be the one whose email arrived first.

Oh, and this grand prize contest is open only to those who have made a Blogathon pledge via the Gazette. It's one of the ways I'd like to try to thank you for your support of Midland Fair Havens.

Feel free to leave a comment if you have any questions about how this is supposed to work. It seems clear enough to me, but I'm taking allergy medication.

Why we still need newspapers

This morning's edition of the Midland Reporter-Telegram has a(nother) front page story* about Blogathon (you have heard of Blogathon, right? ;-), and you can read that story online. But in doing so, you'll miss the amusing irony that presented itself to perceptive consumers of the treeware version, which was a photograph adjacent to the Blogathon story describing a scene from something called "the Virtual Dementia Tour."

Besides thinking that would be a great name for a band, I'm hard-pressed to come up with a more apt description than what Jimmy and I are about to embark upon.

*This is also a reminder of the importance of having friends in the MSM, especially if they're also bloggers.

Puzzling Logo

Take a look at the logo at right. Do you recognize it? Does it resemble anything else you've seen elsewhere?

I find the design to be very ambiguous, and I don't know if it's because I'm not perceptive enough to identify it, or if it's intentionally so. From one perspective, it resembles a duck's head; it's a bird's wing if viewed from a different angle. It also resembles one of those tools that first responders use to cut the seat belt from a victim of a car crash.

What am I missing? Am I missing anything?

Click the following link (if you're reading this via the Gazette's home page) to learn who owns the logo.

The logo belongs to an organization called "GOPUSA." It's a conservative activist company that is not, as far as I can tell, officially affiliated with the Republican Party.

Most political organizations seem to develop logos and other branding identities that are rooted in patriotic symbols or political traditions (e.g. the Donkey and the Elephant). I can't discern such a tie in this logo, and that's vaguely annoying, for reasons that I can't quite nail down. I suppose I tend to prefer branding that actually communicates something about the organization it represents.

"El Indio Más rápido Del Mundo"

I recently plugged The World's Fastest Indian into the DVD player, intending to watch it during a treadmill workout. I was shocked -- shocked, I tell you -- when I attempted to activate the subtitles and found that they were available only en Español. That's right; no closed-captioning for the English-reading hearing impaired, no English language subtitles. And with the combination of Anthony Hopkins's accent* -- he's supposed to be a New Zealander -- and his soft voice, I couldn't make out any of the dialog over the noise of the treadmill and the fan.

The movie got good reviews on IMDB.com, so I guess I'll have to watch it the old fashioned way, sans multi-tasking. Still, it chaps me that the makers of a major motion picture would do such a shoddy job with the DVD.

*There's an interesting thread over at the IMDB Message Board discussing the accuracy of Hopkins's accent in the role, and some folks asked for clarification of some phrases that they couldn't quite catch. Gee, wouldn't English subtitles have been helpful?

Countdown Meme

It's harder than it looks.

+++

I have...

10 sport jackets.

9 DVD players.

8 pairs of shoes.

7 cogs on our tandem's freewheel.

6 movies starring Keanu Reeves.

5 uncles on my dad's side of the family.

4 books about programming with PHP.

3 digital cameras.

2 revolvers.

1 10' braided leather Mexican bullwhip with a steel swivel handle.

0 albums by The Rolling Stones.

+++

OK, the rules are simple. First, be honest. We might not know otherwise, but the God of Methuselah, Moses, and Memes will. Second, despite Rule #1, you get one wildcard if you need it; feel free to make up one of the items. And, in support of the proposition that there should remain some mystery about a blogger, don't identify the wild card.

Have fun!

Light the torches; loft the pitchforks...

Landis doped? Say it ain't so, Floyd.

It just never ends, does it?

Random Thursday

It's a humbling thing to behold the generosity of Gazette readers. Your Blogathon pledges are now closing in on $2,500, and as of this morning that total is the second highest of any participating blog. Even better, when you combine that total with Jimmy's over at Sticky Doorknobs, the combined sum (~$3,700) makes Midland Fair Havens the Blogathon leader in terms of pledges. (Don't hold me to that, though; that conclusion was based on a quick eyeballing of the list of charities, which doesn't provide a single total for each organization.) Any way you slice it, you guys are great!

Now, on to more random business...

• Here's something for the "Someone should invent this..." file. Does your digital camera have a little remote control, allowing you to trip the shutter, um, remotely? If it does, I'm willing to bet it works only if you're in front of the camera. Someone should invent a remote sensor for a camera that wraps around to the back so that you can stand behind it and take a photo. Or, even better, make the remote an RF transmitter so that you don't have to aim at the little infrared eye.


• Speaking of good ideas, this one seems to have merit, albeit at a hefty price and with a cumbersome name. The "Kurzweil–National Federation of the Blind Reader" is basically a digital camera designed to take a photo of a page of text and then convert that text to audible speech for the benefit of a vision-impaired user. Walter Mossberg reports that it's pretty good at what it does. I wonder, though...how does someone without sight know where to point the device? Perhaps Reagan could help us understand if this is a practical solution.


• David over at Soccer Dad sent me the link to this WaPO op-ed piece by Robert J. Samuelson in which he attempts to answer the question, "Is There An Oil 'Bubble'?" It's a level-headed discussion of the potential reasons behind the run-up in oil prices, but it's more bad news for the conspiracy theorists. However, I take mild exception to one thing Samuelson writes. In addressing where the market for crude oil fits into the global economy, he says At $70 a barrel, global crude sales would total about $2.2 trillion annually; that's still a tiny share of the $50 trillion world economy. Maybe so, but I can't think of another single commodity which accounts for almost 5% of the global economy (although I confess I'm not sure what the $50T represents).


• Ever since my pal Gene told me that they went "indoor skydiving" in Colorado, I've been curious, and so I googled up the Bodyflight Network, which provides resources about vertical wind tunnels for recreational use. This is probably something I'd do just to say I'd done it, but when I read stuff like this -- Bodyflying is not some "New Extreme Sport", it's a way of life, a way to fitness and spiritual health. It's a fabulous activity for the entire family and no more dangerous than your average contact sport. -- and see the flapping jowls of the participants, it tends to strike me more as a solution in search of a problem. Or, a recreational outlet in search of a rich bored person; SkyVenture in Denver charges $44-$48 for two 60-second "flights" (although the hourly rate of $675-$800 is a real bargain in comparison). OTOH, having experienced the underwater weightlessness of scuba diving, perhaps there's more to it than I imagine.


• I see that Midland Memorial Hospital is buying a PET scan machine for $2.1 million. I applaud that move. The PET scanner is a wonderful diagnostic tool and one provided me with the most interesting (and expensive!) medical procedure of my life.


• I'll close today's little soiree with a link to Deb's intriguing "what if" post, which explores the potential dark side of so-called classic TV shows. After reading the post, I've started worrying. What if...the Osmonds were actually real people? *gasp*

What a difference a day makes!

Forgive me for sitting here with a goofy grin as I type this, because I think I've landed in some kind of Bizarro World for Consultants, and it's a strange feeling.

Here's what's got me feeling like I've gone through the looking glass. I emailed an invoice to a client yesterday...and got the check today. Then, just a couple of hours ago, I dropped an invoice off at another client's office, along with a backup disk and some other stuff, just intending to save a little postage (sorry, Jim)...and he said, "wait here and I'll write you a check." Oh my. Is there another eight word phrase that sounds more lovely to a consultant's ears? I think not.

The thing is, neither of these were trivial checks. They were new-bicycle, upgrade-your-computer, finally-get-that-operation-you've-been-saving-for, fill-up-the-SUV checks.

I love $75 oil!

It's not always flattened animals around here, you know

Sometimes, it's this. [Make sure your speakers are turned on.]

Actually, as amusing as this is -- I watched it for hours before I determined it's a loop; learn from my experience -- it raises several vaguely disturbing questions. To wit:

• Why would one need to go in disguise to view the Teddy Bears' picnic? Are they, like, Bride of Chuckie Teddy Bears?


• Am I the only one worried about the fact that the Teddy Bears' Mommies and Daddies are concerned enough to come at 6:00 p.m. and put the TBs to bed...and yet they're willing to blithely go along with allowing them to have an all-day unsupervised picnic in the woods?


• Was Teddy R. really a tenor?


• As oddly trivial as this project appears, the real issue to be contemplated is that some musical group actually got together and recorded this song to begin with.

Left unspoken is the burning question of why anyone would write a post about this.

Tip of the bun-rab ears to my pal Gene, who got said link from his eldest female progeny, thereby demonstrating that the ROI of tuition is elusive.

Cool Rabbit

Apparently, squirrels aren't the only creatures around here who are getting tired of the heat:

Photo by Justin O'Neill

This photo was taken by one of the volunteers at Midland's Sibley Nature Center. It shows a lanky jackrabbit stretched out in the shade, trying to stay cool in the afternoon heat. You'd almost mistake him for roadkill, but those ears give him away.

What a Day

I picked a bad day not to admit myself for a frontal lobotomy.

My wife headed for Houston today for a two-day business trip. This has several bad implications for my fragile psyche. First, it means that my strategy of getting some good nights of sleep in anticipation of this Saturday's Blogathon is down the tubes. I always sleep poorly when she's gone; the bed is just...I don't know..imbalanced.

Then there are the dogs. Yes, I used the plural noun. Her dad dropped off his dog on his way out of town for a funeral, so I'm taking care of two mutts. It would be hard enough with just Abbye. This is the first time since she went on insulin that I've had to give her a shot without MLB's help. Suffice it to say that she was not amused.

The guest dog is everything Abbye is not: male, high-energy, needy. Our walks leave my arms in an unfortunate crucifixion pose, as Punkin (the overgrown "minature" poodle) pulls forward and Abbye (the furball something-or-other) pulls backwards. I think she's fearful of ending up in his line of fire, if you know what I mean, and I don't blame her a bit.

This situation shall persist until Thursday evening, when both travelers return.

On the positive side of things, however, take a gander at that Blogathon total. Awesome! Plus, I just spotted our resident gecko in the game room; that's always a fortuitous encounter as I figure he's chowing down on spiders, much to my eternal gratitude. And, once again today, nobody launched any missiles* at my home (as far as I know); not everyone in the world is so fortunate tonight.

*This is one of those words that I have a mental block about spelling. I tried three times before I landed on what I think is the correct spelling.

Ceremonial Participation in Professional Sports

I was listening to the radio this morning as someone was describing his wife's throwing of the first pitch in a Triple-A baseball game this weekend. I became curioius about this odd tradition and while my most concerted research efforts (in the form of a single Google search) didn't turn up a definitive answer as to how this ceremonial tradition was started, I did find that the tradition of asking the POTUS to throw the Opening Day First Pitch began in 1910, when President Taft hurled one to Walter Johnson.

It's an interesting tradition, and I can't think of another mainstream sport that has it. American football also allows a celebrity coin-tosser at the beginning of some big games, but that's not really a part of the game itself. I suppose the Indy 500 comes close, with a celebrity driving the pace car ahead of the competitors, leading them into the first lap of that auto race.

I think other sports should consider starting similar traditions. Here are my suggestions:

• Golf: the ceremonial drive from the first tee box


• Football: the ceremonial opening kick-off


• Basketball: the ceremonial tossing of the opening jump ball


• Tennis: the ceremonial first serve


• Hockey: the ceremonial dropping of the puck for the opening face-off


• Cricket: the ceremonial confused look about what the heck is the point of this game


• Bowling: the ceremonial drinking of the first pitcher of beer


• Curling: the ceremonial first yawn


• Soccer: the ceremonial opening head butt, resulting red card, and national disgrace

Blogathon 2006: The Countdown

Blogathon 2006 is next Saturday, the 29th, and I'm having trouble deciding if the proper way to train for the event is to take multiple naps or to stay up later and later. Both strategies seem to have their drawbacks.

Contests and Prizes

I'm starting to work on some of the contests, and I can tell you already that the "grand prize" contest will be similar to the one we used last year, where the winner will be the person who checks in with the Gazette the most frequently and correctly identifies a series of images I'll be posting. Last year I got all fancy and used a script to serve up a different style sheet and header graphic each hour, and it worked OK but it was a lot of trouble. This year, I'm all about avoiding work, so I'll be doing it the old-fashioned way: manual uploads. Stay tuned for more info about the rules of engagement.

For prizes, I've got the usual lame Fire Ant merchandise: 5 large mugs, 11 ceramic tiles -- one with the fancy-schmancy wood border guaranteed to coordinate with your double-wide's decor -- and four bags of Fire Ant Eggs. I'll also be handing out some miniscule iTunes gift certificates so you can download the "Fishhead Song" for your friends.

Pledges still welcomed...

If you'll look at top of the right sidebar (assuming you're on the home page) you'll see a fairly healthy total for pledges-to-date. I'm quite thankful to those who have made pledges, but here's the deal: we're still under last year's total. Inconceivable! (No, I don't think that means what I think it means.) The good news is that when we combine that total with what Jimmy Patterson's garnered over at Sticky Doorknobs, we're around $2,600, and that's outstanding.

What's even better is that it's not too late to make a pledge on behalf of Midland Fair Havens. Click here to make a pledge via Sticky Doorknobs, or here to make one via the Gazette. It doesn't matter which you click; the money goes to the same fine cause.

Keep in mind that many of the fine prizes described above will be limited to the population of those making pledges. And, regrettably, Fire Ant prizes will go only to Gazette pledgers...that's the only thing I can't share with Jimmy. I expect he'll have his own incentives, however, and he's got the full weight of the Main Stream Media behind him, so he'll probably be giving away stuff like your own 757 or his and her dirigibles or something.

The Cause

You can visit Midland Fair Havens's website for more details, but the primary goal of this ministry is to provide transitional housing, life skills training, and emotional support for single women and their children as they seek to break away from a past that has kept them from thriving in the things that most of us take for granted.

Again...many thanks!

I can't say it enough...I appreciate so much those who have already made pledges or otherwise provided support and encouragement for this event. I hope you'll be able to check in on the Gazette beginning at 8:00 a.m. (Central Time) next Saturday, and if you're in Midland, Jimmy and I will be blogging from HEB (in the café area) between 10:00 a.m. and 3:00 p.m. Stop by and say hi (but check the Gazette first, because you might find a clue that will help you win a Fabulous Prize!).

Technorati tag: Blogathon

TDF Wrap-up: Landis has 'em where he wants 'em

I didn't get to see watch the final stage this morning but I just finished watching the re-broadcast. I was struck by the apparent respect and even affection of the other riders for Floyd Landis. It was different with Lance Armstrong, who was respected to be sure, but also feared. Armstrong was an intimidating presence; Landis is viewed as a regular guy who rides his heart out, and is much more approachable.

The next big question is his future in professional cycling, given that he may well be facing hip replacement very soon. I theorized that this might have been his last professional race, but I started thinking about some American cycling history. Greg Lemond won a TDF after he was blasted in the back with a shotgun in a hunting accident. Lance started reeling off wins following a life-threatening bout with cancer.

I don't know if it's American in origin, but we're fond of saying that what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. It may well be, then, that putting a titanium hip into Floyd Landis's body is about the worst thing that could happen...to the rest of the Tour de France peloton.

I'm already looking forward to 2007!

The Project Report: Making Squares

I was finally able to spend a few more hours on The Project, with the following outcome:

If you look closely, you'll notice that I abandoned my initial strategy of beveling the ends of the tubing to make nice seams. I might have continued with that approach if the resulting seams had actually been nice, but they weren't so I'm not and I've decided, in true making-lemonade-from-squashed-and-mutilated-lemons fashion, that I'll be able to use the open ends of the tubing to store stuff. And no, I don't know what; that's not even important so don't worry about it.

Despite the appearance in the photo, the frame is about as square as an Escher print. But it's strong and acquiring roughly the same shape as my blueprint and at the end of the day, I'm satisfied with it.

Stay tuned for more exciting developments. But first, I have to find some expanded metal grating, which may be a challenge.

TDF: Landis wins? But...what about tomorrow?!

If you're relatively new to the Tour de France, you may be wondering how I can be awarding Floyd Landis the yellow jersey when there's still one more stage to be contested tomorrow. It's a good question and one that it took me a while to understand when I started following the race.

The final stage -- which always ends in Paris -- is essentially a victory lap, a ceremonial ride for the overall leader following the traditional individual time trial the day before. It's considered poor etiquette to attack the general classification leader (the official title of the overall race leader) in the final stage. It's one of those European things that adds a certain amount of dignity and charm to the event.

That's n