Who needs a guard dog...

...when you have an attack rabbit keeping watch over your new house?

This young jackrabbit greeted us this afternoon when we stopped by, and yesterday we watched through our newly installed bedroom windows a cottontail dining on the neighor's lawn.

It's becoming apparent that the Gazette's "theme animal" will have to become the rabbit, in place of the squirrel, once we relocate our World Publishing Headquarters. But, you know, "oh look! a baby bun rab" has a comfortable ring to it, so I suspect we'll be OK with the transition.

Of course, both are preferable to "aiieeee! a grown-up rattlesnake!", which could also be a contender. (Any rumors you might have heard about the construction worker who was bitten by a rattler in our neighborhood while on the second floor of a new house are, in fact, true.)

It's just a flesh wound

This entry introduces the Content Free Celebrity Head©, an exclusive new feature* of the Gazette designed to help its valued readers distinguish between those posts which are truly Content Free© and those which are simply lame, inane, or otherwise lacking in proficiency. Here at the Gazette, we never stop working to make your blog consumption more satisfying. [Feel free to submit your nominations for celebrities who merit an appearance as a Content Free Celebrity Head©.]

*The concept is, of course, shamefully stolen from James Lileks's Perry Mason Head of Disapproval (or something like that), a link to which I was unable to find (owing to the fact that I didn't look for it, but, still...)

Plane Talk

The CAF Airsho is going on even as I type this, and I can hear the occasional rumble of a vintage fighter, bomber, or trainer through the windows. There's nothing quite like the sound of those old rotary aircraft engines.

Yesterday's bike ride took me under the approach pattern for the airport where the planes are based for the weekend, and a steady stream of aircraft flew above me, either arriving for the show or getting in some practice time.

I think a B-2 Stealth bomber passed overhead while I was riding, but, of course, I can't be sure.

Excuses

It would be presumptuous of me to offer an apology for the silence around here, as that would imply that someone missed the blatherings that appear periodically, and I doubt that's the case (except, perhaps, for Lyle, who apparently is ready to appear as the poster child for the sad state of commercial airline travel in our country. "Esteemed members of this Congressional panel, let me summarize by saying that if the quality of air travel has indeed been reduced to the point where decent, hard-working citizens must pass their time in terminals by reading the "Fire Ant Gazette," then I submit to you that there can be no argument that the terrorists have, indeed, won.").

In truth, the combination of paying college tuition and building a new house works wonderfully in causing one to focus on revenue-generating activity, a classification into which this here blog-like thing doesn't even peek over the edge, let alone fall. (That, by the way, continues to be a source of mystery to me, given the universal appeal of Gazette merchandise. Order some stuff, folks!)

That's not to say that I haven't devoted considerable mental effort to blogging. It's just that I go out on a bike ride and compose these elaborate, witty, and sophisticated essays in my mind, fully intending to pixelize them when I return, but finding that (1) they don't look so good when transferred from the mushy confines of my brain, or (b) it's too much trouble. I mean, after all, I already wrote them once, in my head; why should I do it all again? (Then there's the not inconsequential fact that you're not coming here for "elaborate, witty, and sophisticated." You're coming here for photos of Abbye, and tips for folding fitted sheets.)

Then there's the recovery from my bicycle wreck. Oh, did I not tell you about my bike wreck last Friday? Oh, well, we seem to be out of time. Maybe later.

The thing about blogging is that even a post of excuses is still a post. Believe me, I've got plenty more where this one came from.

Say, what do you guys know about Lucy Woodward?

Interview: Bill Lawless, Founder of "Impact Midland"

If you've got a keen eye, you may have noticed a new link in the Gazette's sidebar, in the "West Texas Blogs" category. The link hooks you up with Impact Midland, a relatively new blog beautifully conceived and executed by telecommunications guru Bill Lawless. Impact Midland is unique among the West Texas blogging community in that it's an audio-blog, consisting of recorded interviews and readings, with Bill acting as the producer, director, interviewer, sound engineer, and everything else.

Bill and I were co-workers back in prehistoric times, which emboldened me to turn the tables and request an interview with him, to which he graciously consented. From a geekish perspective, I'm not worthy to even be in the same room with him, so we did the interview by email, instead of a podcast, but I think you'll enjoy finding out more about Bill and his new blog.

Bill – I listen to several podcasts everyday and find that it is a very good way to share information. You can listen while driving, walking, bike riding, etc. I am a technology type and have always been interested in electronics, ham radio, computers, the internet and audio production. Podcasting is a way for me to pull all of those interests together. It's also a way to live out a childhood dream to be a DJ of sorts. When I record I set behind an ElectoVoice RE20 which is a microphone you will find in 90% of the radio stations in the country.

The name Impact Midland is something that I thought long about. I didn't want to build a website that was just for me to play podcaster on. I wanted to build something that would challenge me technically and be useful at the same time.

From a biblical perspective I would like for the readings and interviews to perhaps cause folks to reassess their view of who God is and their own relationship with Him. You can't read or listen to the Psalms without getting a high view of God. The Valley of Vision is a collection of Puritan prayers. The Puritans had a high view of God and it was evident in their prayers and the way they lived. Today it seems that that we treat God very casually. We use His name in a casual sometimes vulgar manner, we treat Him as though He were some sort of cosmic Santa Claus instead of the high and holy sovereign of the universe. Our casual view of God is not only evident in the way we live our lives form day to day but in the way we worship. In the Psalms we learn how to truly worship. In worship the focus is not on me but on God.

Bill – Interviews are something new for me. I listen to as many as I can because I find that it is a good way to learn about someone or something. The first interview is with my pastor and the second with a pastor friend that is starting a church. I chose them as my first because I know they would be easy on me but also because I felt that they had something to say that would benefit folks in Midland that may be looking for a church.

Bill – Everyone. I know that this is a simple answer but it's true. I do not have all of what I want to do with this website fully developed yet. I have a hundred ideas but need to pair that down to something that keeps my interest as well as useful to other Midlanders.

Bill – I have been involved in 2-way radio and telecommunications for 30+ years and in that business audio quality is always very important. I decided that if I was going to do this that I would do it right. I am in the process of building a recording studio using professional audio equipment. I would like to produce a program that sounds good so that when I compress it to a size that is easy to stream or download that it will sound good on your computer speakers or iPod ear buds. I am staring at 153 knobs, 10 faders, buttons, switches, inputs and outputs, sends and returns, cables, microphones, LEDs, thresholds, ratios, mix, drive, level, filters, speakers, headphones and I could go on. I have a lot to learn but that's what keeps it interesting for me.

I also have a portable set-up that I use when I go to various places to have people read for me or interview. A lot of the portable equipment on the market is very expensive and sounds great or cheap and sounds so so. I managed to finds a portable unit made by Marantz and had it modified by a professional audio company who made improvements to the pre-amps and microphones. This recorder records in MP3 format so that I don't have to do any conversion.

The biggest challenge so far has been to find good music that fits the theme of the website and is affordable. It is very important that I have permission to play the music that I use. I am paying about $30 dollars per minute for a few of the songs and for the others I have been given permission from the artist at no cost. I really like the no cost option.

On the computer side of the process I am using a PC but will be moving everything over to Mac in the near future. The production software I am interested in runs on a Mac. The production studios that I have visited recently all use the Mac.

Bill – I have an interview with Dr. Mark Dever of Capitol Hill Baptist Church in Washington, DC in October that is a huge opportunity. My pastor and I will tag team this one.

Other projects I have in mind are not theological. I enjoy giving safety talks at work and would like to do a recorded audio version of that. I recorded my last talk but it did not come out well at all. I would like to interview various folks in Midland and discuss safety issues.

I would like to find Midland story tellers and capture their tales for others to enjoy. I could go on and on and would be interested in ideas from others.

I would like to do an interview at the food court at the mall. I think it would be cool to have the background noise there part of the recording.

Bill – I have been working in technology for 30+ years. I spent 21 years with ARCO and am now with Key Energy. Prior to ARCO I worked for an engineering firm in Austin building microwave communication systems for MCI, Sprint and others. I think back on my career and the time that I am most proud of was my 6 years in Algeria. We built infrastructure to support a large oil recovery project near the city of Hassi Messaoud, in the middle of the Sahara Desert. There I learned to speak French and enough Arabic to get myself in trouble.

I am a preacher's kid and grew up in a Christian home. I became a Christian at the age of 17 while living in Abilene. I went to Hardin Simmons for a while then several years later attended Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. I struggled trying to figure out what I was supposed to do ministry wise. I preached in my church and other churches in the association where we lived and had a jail ministry. It became evident to me later on that full time ministry is not where God wanted me. My ministry is where I am at; using the skills that God has blessed me with.

Bill – If you are from Midland and would like to read a Psalm or a Valley of Vision prayer for me I would like to talk to you. It would be cool if we could put together a CD that had the book of Psalms read by Midlanders on it.

I have a blog titled Reformed Lawless at billsbible.blogspot.com and I manage my church's web site at colonialbiblechurch.org. Perhaps I should add a bit of a warning to the theological content of the website. I am very narrow minded when it comes to theology. I believe that the bible is the word of God, literally, and believe that it contains everything we need know about life, our relationships, and worship, how we do business, God and our relationship with Him through Jesus Christ, everything. I believe that God is absolutely sovereign. I believe that salvation is by grace through faith in Jesus Christ and there is no other way. I hold to the 5 solas of the reformation; Sola gratia ("by grace alone"), Sola fida ("by faith alone"), Sola scriptura ("by Scripture alone") Solus Christus ("in Christ alone") Soli Deo Gloria ("Glory to God alone").

I appreciate Bill taking the time to reply to my nosy questions, and I hope Midlanders will give him some good ideas for future interviews. And at the very least, visit Impact Midland and help Bill find out if he's really got enough bandwidth in his hosting account!

Hermetically Sealed Can

When construction began on our new house, we were warned that it wasn't a matter of "if things went wrong," but, rather, "when things went wrong," and the advice was to roll with the punches. We tried to take that advice to heart, and it served us well last Saturday morning.

We had been questioned by a friend about what he saw as a peculiarity in the layout of a specific room in the house, based on his walk-through the previous evening. Since he has no little experience in house construction, we decided we'd better check it out for ourselves, and so we drove to the location after breakfast.

Sure enough, the closet to one of the bedrooms had two doorways, one from the bedroom (which we expected) and one from the exterior hallway (which we didn't). Interestingly, that latter doorway had been shifted from its rightful place, which was the guest half-bath located across the hall from the closet.

That's right: the bathroom would have no entrance, unless something changed. This may be a standard feature somewhere in the world, but it's pretty much not what we had in mind.

We did have a laugh about it, as I joked that we'd just have to put a sign on the finished wall reading "Break in Case of Emergency."

Fortunately, the framers are still on the job and this should be an easy thing to rectify.

Now, if we can just figure out why the garage opens up into the kitchen...

"Non!"

Marcel Marceau has died.

To commemorate his passing, at noon today there will be a minute of non-stop talking.

Bonus points for the identification of the cultural reference for the post title.

Midland from the Air

I thought some of you Midlanders might enjoy seeing the Woodland Park housing development from the air. My pal Tommy and I went up in his plane a week or so ago and this is one of the shots I took. Click the image to see a bigger and uncropped version (~150kb).

This shot was taken through the airplane's windshield, and the weather was a bit hazy to boot, so the details aren't very sharp. But you can still make out some of the major features of the area.

Midland Country Club and a portion of the golf course is shown in the upper right portion of the photo. That's "A" Street slicing across the image; the road is unpaved beginning at the north end of the development, for those who haven't driven out that way before. That big green area on the south side of the development is reserved for the eventual building of a new elementary school and city park.

The pond that's surrounded by trees (take my word for it) is almost finished. A second pond will be developed where you see the other body of water, which is probably the result of rainfall runoff.

The undeveloped lots in the west and northwest sections of the subdivision – look for the green strips between the streets – are planted with grain sorghum (aka milo), which I thought was an odd choice. The developer explained that they wanted to plant something that grew fast and held the soil in place, and the county extension agent came up with that. I wonder if they'll bring in a combine around harvest time?

For those of you not from West Texas, I'll try to anticipate and answer two of your questions. One: yes, it is not usually so green around here. Two: the irony of naming this development "Woodland Park" is lost on no one.

Gecko Sighting

I spotted this guy (gal?) lurking on our back porch last night around 10:30, as I was letting Abbye out one last time. It's hard to tell from the odd camera angle, but he's actually hanging on some trim where the wall meets the patio ceiling. I'm amazed the photo turned out, considering I was balancing on a small plastic table, pointing a long lens straight up and wrestling with focusing problems brought on by the low lighting conditions.

In case you're wondering, the lizard is about eight feet long, and deadly poisonous. Many cats have disappeared from our neighborhood...OK...I'm just kidding. This one is about four inches long (which is actually rather large compared to most of the geckos hanging around our house). He's also a lighter color than usual, presumably camouflaging himself to blend in with the background. I've added a bit of contrast to the image using Photoshop in order to see the details better, but in real life he appeared almost translucent to the naked eye.

You can click on the image to see a larger version if you're really into getting up close and personal with geckos (and, really, who isn't?).

Random Thursday

No promises, but if you manage to make it through this post I will try to later reward you with a gecko photo. Is that sufficient incentive? Only you can decide.

• For once, I'm actually eagerly awaiting the unfolding of a multi-million dollar celebrity lawsuit. Dan Rather's suit against CBS should reveal some fascinating looks behind the scenes of an MSM news operation. I predict that while neither party initially makes for a sympathetic litigant, whatever positive public perception of either there may be will only decrease through the course of the lawsuit.


• That, however, is still not enough to offset the prospect of a year of hysterical coverage of O.J.'s latest legal escapade. Fox News actually had two on-the-scene reporters covering the story this morning, one in Las Vegas (where O.J. currently isn't) and one in Florida (where O.J. may or may not be because they can't really find him, despite having more people assigned to track him than we have looking for OBL). What a waste of broadcast frequency.


• We're seeing a series of TV ads for a local bank that features a guy wearing a red blanket around his neck, proclaiming himself to be "Superbanker." The ads are surprisingly winsome, but I'm struck by the irrelevancy of the bank's tagline: "Changing the color of banking." I never realized there was a color associated with banking. I suppose one could make a case for the color green, but if the blanket/cape in the ad is supposed to herald a change, I submit that associating the color red with anything of a financial nature is a bad idea. In any event, on another level, the selection of yet another middle-aged white guy to represent the bank does little to validate the tagline. I'd like to know why the ad agency and bank decided that was a good slogan to adopt.


• The first day of fall draws nigh and the question on everyone's mind is which will expire first: my lawn or my lawnmower. I'm trying to finish this year's mowing season with my old and busted machine, which has lost or broken practically every piece that doesn't contribute directly to its prime directive of cutting grass. The latest casualty is the tread on one of the front wheels. In all my years of lawn mower ownership, I've never seen a mower tire throw its tread; I didn't even know it was possible. But I've got this one tightly wrapped with duct tape, making the machine look even more low rent than before (another thing I didn't think was possible). If I can make it through this this season, I'll replace the current self-propelled gasoline mower with a smaller, lighter model, perhaps even going electric. I learned to mow grass with an electric mower, and even though cord management is a pain, the quietness and lower maintenance are compelling arguments for switching, especially since our new lawn will be smaller and easier to mow. Anyone have any experience with cordless electric mowers?

Need a webpage? Type and click...

I defy you to show me a quicker way to build a website than this.

I'm not exactly sweating the competition, though.

Tip via Daring Fireball

TLAPD Jumps The Shark*

As everyone is well aware, today is Talk Like A Pirate Day, and the fact that everyone is well aware is, well, distressing.

Just a few minutes ago, the occasion was the focus of a discussion by the motley crew on Fox & Friends. That's a sure signal that the observance has lost its endearing campiness.

We need a new underground holiday that only the kool kidz know about. Something like "Dance Like Britney Day" or "Rant Like OJ Day" or "Jabber Incoherently Like Sally Day."

Arr.

*Does anybody say "Jump the Shark" anymore?

Introducing: Bandit

Meet Abbye's new cousin, Bandit:

Bandit's a "dachshuahua" (you can figure that out, can't you?) and he's a few months old now, in that puppy stage where he's either going a hundred miles an hour or is completely unconscious. He belongs to (or, to be more accurate, owns; you can probably figure that out, too) my brother and his wife, who lost their last little dog earlier this summer to a rattlesnake bite. That dog was quite a personality, but Bandit is going to give him a run for his money in that department.

Abbye's not terribly impressed, by the way. Bandit enjoys carrying out sneak attacks (having not yet figured out that any attack on a blind dog falls into that category), and Abbye's reflexes aren't quite fast enough for effective paw-swipe retaliation. But they still get along pretty well.

West Texas Cowboy Church

There's a new Cowboy Church in the area – the West Texas Cowboy Church ("WTCC") – and it has a website.

The Cowboy Church movement (the churches are also referred to as "Old West Culture Churches", but not by anyone I know) is one of the fastest growing evangelical movements in North America. The Baptist General Convention of Texas has a goal of assisting in the planting cowboy churches throughout the state in order to reach an estimated four million people who may be "better served" by this brand of worship than what they find in the more traditional church setting.

(An interesting side note: Fascination with the American "cowboy culture" is actually a worldwide phenomenon, and it could form the basis of an evangelistic tool in some pretty unlikely areas.)

My home church, First Baptist of Midland ("FBC"), is one of the main partners in starting WTCC. Much of the WTCC leadership is comprised of FBC members, but the church is actively seeking additional volunteers.

If you know anyone in the immediate vicinity of Midland/Odessa who might be interested in this type of worship experience, please pass along the web address. WTCC's upcoming Western Heritage Days (first weekend of October) would be a great way to learn more about the church while taking in some authentic examples of "The Cowboy Way."

Superhuman Predator on TV

TNT ran Blade and Blade II back-to-back yesterday afternoon. Perhaps you've seen one or both movies. They tell the story of a vampire who can blend in with humans, and whose crusade is to hunt and destroy other vampires. (Don't ask; it's complicated.) The hero has powers that neither humans or vampires can hope to match.

So, I spent the afternoon watching a predator hunt down and destroy his fellow beings, methodically and without pity, demonstrating a prowess that left onlookers speechless. The carnage was both electrifying and heartbreaking.

Yes, that's right. I watched Tiger Woods punk-slap the best golfers in the world into a mopey band of guys with dreadful fashion sense. What he did in winning the Tour Championship and the Fed Ex Cup was too intense for a Discovery Channel nature special. It was as if the NCAA had finally instituted a football championship playoff system, with USC meeting LSU in the final game after four rounds of proving they deserved to be there, and USC wins by 60 points. With the point being, what's the point?

There's an exchange in Joe Versus The Volcano where the incomparable Ossie Davis, playing a limo chauffeur, is responding to Tom Hanks's question about what kinds of clothes he should wear. Davis asks, "what kind of clothes do you have now?" Tom replies, "well, they're like these I'm wearing." Ossie glances in the rearview mirror, smirks, and says "so, you got no clothes."

Years from now, a young boy (or girl) will ask his (or her) grandfather a question. "Grandad, what was your career in the early part of the century?" (Children of the future will be more erudite and better conversationalists.) "Why, child, I was a professional golfer, same time as Tiger Woods." The child will nod and reply sagely, "so, you got no career."

What's in YOUR fridge?

Yesterday's morning sermon was about the importance of passing along a strong spiritual legacy to your children. I was operating a TV camera and thus couldn't focus completely on the message, so I had to wait until lunch to ask my wife to confirm that I really heard what I thought I heard, and that was the preacher saying that one aspect of teaching good spiritual lessons to our families (and others we come in contact with) involved the things we had on the walls of our houses, in our DVD cabinets, on our music- and bookshelves, and in our refrigerators.

That last thing got me to thinking. What, exactly, could the content of my fridge say about my spirituality? Here are a few things that came to mind, along with some value judgments about each:

• Bad - Ground meat, salami, and bacon, because their presence implies that you don't treat your body like a temple


• Good - Lots of fruit and vegetables (unless, of course, they were grown and harvested by exploited workers)


• Bad - Jars of caviar and tins of pate, since they could indicate a lack of sensitivity to the poor. After all, there are children in China...


• Good - Swiss cheese, because it's holey.


• Bad - A bottle of white wine (if you're Southern Baptist); a bottle of white wine paired with a ribeye (if you're Episcopalian)


• Bad - Brussels sprouts, because they're just wrong


• Toss-up - The head of the neighbor's cat, who's eaten his last marigold from your flowerbed

OK, I'll be the first to admit that the theological basis for the preceding judgments is a bit shaky. But, based on Act 10:9-16, the whole concept seems shaky to me.

What the iPod touch is missing

Here's a great rundown on the features that you'll find on the iPhone that are not carried over to the iPod touch (which many have erroneously described as an iPhone without the phone).

I was particularly intrigued by the perceived difference in picture quality (with the iPhone's screen being described as noticeably better than the iPod's). Given that one of the big selling points of the iPod is video/photo capability, I figured Apple would focus on feature parity in this regard.

Link via Daring Fireball (naturally)

Yep, this looks about right...

...other than Midland going AWOL.

Cardcow Vintage Images

Link via Strange Maps, a must-bookmark site for geography freaks.

New Spam

Is anyone else getting hit with a flood of new spam emails offering part-time work? I've been getting 20-30 messages per hour, each starting out as follows:

This introductory language – apparently written by a non-native English speaker – is followed by a rather lengthy paragraph of excerpts from various technical articles, inexplicably dealing with nanotechnology and designed to sneak the message past spam filters.

The spammers have conveniently provided an email link for interested parties, staff@w-ei.com. The domain, which was registered only about three weeks ago by someone in Italy, leads to a placeholder webpage apparently located on a server in the UK.

I thought about setting up a temporary email address and replying to the message to see what comes next, but decided it was too much trouble. I'm just curious as to whether anyone else is getting these messages, or has someone simply noticed my cash flow and decided I could be doing better?

As spam goes, it could be much worse. But why does anyone think something like this works? My guess is that the subsequent steps for those who respond to the solicitation involve the sharing of personal information, which is the end game for the spammer.

Two Theories about the Dumbing Down of Digital Music

iFidelity: Why sound engineers are changing their methods, and shortchanging your ears

In yesterday's Portals column, Wall Street Journal writer Lee Gomes describes how the dominance of personal music players and their reliance on the MP3 audio format has changed not only the music listening and buying habits of consumers, but also the way that music is recorded:

In response, engineers are adapting their techniques in ways that include dropping out higher frequencies (that tend to sound harsh on tiny earbuds) and jacking up the volume (in response to the impression – right or wrong – that iPod listeners like it loud. Some of the engineers quoted by Gomes talk about the disappearance of more complex music with rich tonal layers that tend to get lost in the compression required by the MP3 format, or that can't be reproduced by cheap earbuds.

This is nothing new. I remember that the big complaint when CDs were introduced was that the music was cold and harsh, lacking the warmth and character of its vinyl counterpart. Sound engineering technology and techniques eventually overcame those complaints, and I suspect the same will happen with the new ones.

What's a bit disturbing, however, is not that the music is losing quality when it's ripped to MP3 (or AAC or whatever compressed format you pick), but that the source data is being compromised, in the studio. If the tones aren't on the master, they're gone. I had always assumed that digital music was sort of like digital photography. Even though -- or because -- I know that an image will be down-sampled before it hits the web, I want to have the highest resolution possible in my source image, so I can always go back and create a less compressed version if necessary. This principle appears to be lacking in sound engineering philosophy described in the column.

This means that it won't do much good to opt for a higher quality version of your digital music (like that offered in the iTunes Store for a higher price), because the source file was compromised from the start.

I'd be interested to get some input on this issue from a professional musician/recording studio owner like, say, Kyle.

But, that's not the only issue at work here...

The iPod Generation: Mos Def or Mostly Deaf?

Leaving out those tonal nuances may not be a big deal after all, given that the iPod generation is largely comprised of two demographics that share a common trait: hearing loss.

As more boomers adopt the new technology, you can bet they're not hearing those high frequencies with the same clarity they did in their 20s and 30s. There's a good reason why high school students use a special high-pitched ring tone (when they're not using an annoying hip-hop tone instead) on their phones: teachers can't hear it. I've experienced this first hand, watching kids twitch like dogs in obedience class in response to the vast nothingness that intruded upon my consciousness.

But it's not just us oldies that are becoming hearing-impaired. Is there any doubt that the earbud generation will reap what it sows in terms of decibel deficit, and probably sooner than later? Parents, how many of your kids have activated the automatic volume limiter feature on their iPods? Did you even know it exists?

So, it's perhaps a moot point as to whether sound engineers should "dumb down" their musical products or not. The relevant question is when is Apple going to introduce subtitles on its video 'pods for both lyrics and soundtracks?

"Jeopardy" Question of the Day

Answer: A tri-syllabic caution to those who assert that human technology has advanced to the point where it can anticipate and trump anything Nature can conjure up.

Question: What is "Humberto"?

Getting Wired

Some of you may have noticed a dearth of updates regarding La Casa Nuevo. If you must know, The Only Person Whose Opinion I Care About let me know that such updates were unseemly and so you'll not see them on these pages.

More or less.

I may still sneak in an occasional peripheral reference, without getting too specific, and this post is an example of that.

We're getting to the point where I need to start finalizing the wiring plans for the house. We've got the standard electrical outlets and switches, cable and phone jacks, and most lights penciled in, but there's still opportunity to add things.

So, here's a question for you, the answers to which might help me be more imaginative in this planning process. If you were rewiring or re-cabling your current home, are there additional places you'd put outlets, switches, lights, jacks, and other electrical or electronic wiring or cables?

For example, I'm thinking I'd like to have a series of switched outlets under the front eave of the house to make it more convenient to hang Christmas lights. A single switch on the front porch would make it easy to turn the lights on and off. (A timer would be even better. Do they make permanently mounted wall timers?)

I'd like to hear your ideas for creative wiring.

Restaurant Service Expectations

I suspected that a post about the service in local restaurants would generate some interesting responses on both sides of the issue, and I was right. Judging by the comments left on that post, it seems that this is an issue that strikes an emotional chord in many people, and the reactions are all over the map.

One comment in particular caught my attention, and I'm taking the unprecedented (for me) step of responding to it via a separate post. And because I don't want to embarrass anyone, intentionally or otherwise, I've edited the comments to remove any traces of the commenter's identity. We'll refer to that person as "C."

C described a recent experience at a local restaurant where the server ...roll[ed] her eyes at me when asked for silverware. As a result, C left only a 5% tip.

My initial thought upon reading this was, "wow; what a sense of entitlement we've developed nowadays!" Even if "an eye for an eye" was still in play today (see Kyle's comment on that issue), would C's response be merited?

Let's weigh the cause and reaction in terms of the relative damage done. On the one hand, we have a case of eye-rolling, which clearly is hurtful to the customer's ego, at least to the extent said customer has decided that it is. The long term implications are, however, non-existent (unless the customer is in serious need of psychiatric counseling).

The retribution for this damage is the withholding of money. Put another way, the customer has made it incrementally more difficult for the server to feed her children, pay her rent, meet her family's health insurance premiums, maintain her car to safe standards, and so on. From that perspective, was the "punishment" appropriate for the "crime"?

Is this a ridiculous comparison? Practically speaking, probably – but the principle is sound. We need to think twice about defending our honor from some perceived slight by hurting someone else's ability to make a living.

It's C's money, and C has the right to decide how to spend it. But a little charity goes a long way, and the ability to turn the other cheek is at least one way we can fight the growing tide of coarseness in our society.

Want better service? Be a better customer.

Stewart Doreen addressed an issue in Sunday's newspaper (I'd provide a link but I don't seem to be able to find anything anymore on MyWestTexas.com, including a site search box) that's near and dear to the hearts (and stomachs) of most West Texans: the shortage of wait staff at local restaurants.

It's not at all unusual, as Stewart pointed out, to be placed on a lengthy waiting list for a table, and observe that up to half of the restaurant's tables are empty because there aren't enough servers. My wife and I have experienced this most often at the larger chain stores (The Olive Garden, Outback Steakhouse, On The Border, and Chili's come to mind).

The theory is that better-paying jobs in other sectors of the economy are drawing people away from these roles, and there's no doubt that that's often the case. But I have to believe that another strong disincentive to being a waiter or waitress is the apparently unavoidable requirement of dealing with inconsiderate customers. Perhaps if we were easier to work with – and that encompasses more than basic politeness – more people would be willing to fill the server jobs that are now empty.

For example, it's not your waitress's fault that you had to wait for 30 minutes to get a table in a half-empty restaurant. Don't take it out on her. And if she seems frazzled, perhaps it's because she's doing double duty on a double shift.

Or your waiter is new to the job, and the shortage of personnel meant that he didn't get the training he needed to give you the quality of service you think you deserve. Again, not his fault; believe it or not, it's not all intuitive.

And if you really want to make the profession more attractive and competitive, try being more generous with your tips. Being a waiter or waitress will never compete on a strict hourly basis with most jobs in the oil patch, but a little more liberality with your tips would do a lot to bridge the gap. And don't tell me you can't afford it; if you walk into the restaurant knowing that a 10% or less tip is all you can provide, you need to be walking into a different restaurant, one that doesn't involve tipping, or eating at home.

The bottom line is that you and I, as customers, represent the single most important factor in determining whether our waiters see their jobs as something worth making a commitment to. We can help make the work more competitive with the alternatives.

In Memory of 9/11

The Gazette was offline today in memory of the events of September 11, 2001.

Note: This post is backdated. Comments are closed.

If I'm noisy, I must be busy

I suppose that Thriving Office might be useful in making me seem busy, but what I really need is something that will make me seem competent.

Don't even THINK of driving under the pavement

Spotted in College Station last month:

I'm pretty sure it's not an evangelistic tool, but I could be mistaken.

Apple caves on iPhone price...or did it?

Steve Jobs announced in response to the backlash from iPhone buyers who were angry over yesterday's $200 price drop that Apple would issue $100 worth of "store credit" to all purchasers who paid full price for their phones.

Aside from being tempted to call for the waahm-bulance for these crybaby early adopters who knew very well that they were paying a premium to be the cool kidz on the block, I have to hand it to Jobs for making lemonade out of the lemons. Sure, this move will possibly take net cash out of Apple's (and AT&T's) pockets, but it could actually result in an incremental increase in sales revenue. There aren't a lot of products that go for under $100 in Apple's inventory, so in order to use the credit, some/many/most shoppers will have to pony up some additional cash.

In addition, there must be some percentage of iPhone buyers who wouldn't otherwise set foot or shop online in the Apple store (aka, "Windows users") who now will be forced to do so in order to use their credit. They don't have to buy an Apple product – the company does market a few third party goods – but they'll at least have to walk past them, and who knows what siren song will lure them to the fateful shores of Appledom?

I'm sure there are plenty of people ticked off about spending $200 more than they had to, but, as Jobs points out, it happens all the time. All the time. Apple's going out of its way to address the issue in a more than reasonable fashion, but I wouldn't hold my breath that it will ever happen again.

Unless, of course, they can figure out some way to increase market share or net income as a result. (And, really, that's the least they can do for their stockholders.)

There's probably fodder for a post on the Equity Theory of Satisfaction in here somewhere, addressing the issue of why we're content to pay a given price for something until we find out someone else got it for less, but I don't have the energy to ferret it out right now.

Update: Here's one theory as to why early purchasers were unhappy with the price drop. Via Daring Fireball

Client Kudos

We freelancers are quick to complain about the "clients from hell," seemingly sent to us as punishment for using FrontPage in another life. You know the ones: slow-paying, unresponsive, overly critical or completely indecisive, unable to distinguish between the concepts of "hiring" and "owning," and so on.

But, more often than not in my experience, interaction with clients can be amazingly positive, and I'd like to share two recent examples, coming from opposite ends of the economic food chain.

• A couple of weeks ago, I was contacted about performing some maintenance on a website. It was in such a mess that I told the client that I really didn't want to be associated with it, but if he ever got to the point where he was willing to undergo a complete makeover, I'd be happy to give him a quote. I could sense his sigh even via email ("here we go again..."), but he requested the quote, which I sent him the same day. He was apparently happy with it, as he not only accepted it, but told me he was adding to the dollar amount, because, well, you never knew what might come up. The addition was significant – about 20% of my original quote. He asked how much I wanted up front and I told him I didn't charge anything until the job was finished. Nevertheless, I received in the next day's mail a check for more than 50% of my quote.
  
  The job went quickly, I was finished in a few days, and we went live with the new site. The client seemed very happy and offered to hand-deliver the balance of the amount due. I asked him to let me email an invoice, explaining that I had to collect sales tax on a portion of the work. I emailed the invoice, which was for the balance of my original quote.
  
  A couple of hours later, I heard a commotion at the front door, then a car drove off. The client had put an envelope in my drop box and left a plastic bag on the porch. I carried both into the kitchen and found that he'd left the following: a check for the invoice amount, cash in the amount of the "addition" he'd made to the original quote, three screen-printed t-shirts to send to the Nephew at A&M – and a quart Mason jar full of homemade salsa!


• Having large corporations for clients can be a mixed blessing. You don't normally have to worry about getting paid, although the timing might be dicey. The worst part is the bureaucracy you have to deal with (and I know first hand what that is, having dealt out enough of it myself during a 25 year career as a corporate drone). But, when the local office of a $500 million dollar company (assets) called, I figured I could cope with the inevitable headaches because the work sounded fun.
  
  Sure enough, my initial experience seemed to confirm my fears, as I found myself filling out all sorts of forms to get into the company's vendor system. The first draft of the consulting agreement they provided contained some unacceptable terms, and I sent it back asking to have them either re-written or excised (and I figured this was probably the end of our relationship). To my surprise, they immediately agreed to drop the offending language, agreeing that it wasn't relevant to the type of services I'd be providing. However, one thing that stayed in was their policy of paying invoices in 45 days and via electronic funds transfer. Oh boy, I thought; not only will I have to wait forever to get paid, I'll have to periodically monitor my checking account to see when the payment arrives. Oh well.
  
  Anyway, they sent over the first major project and I got it done, and when the end of the month arrived, I generated an invoice and emailed it to my contact at the company...and started the 45 day clock. Imagine my surprise when later that afternoon I received an automatically-generated email containing a PDF document which in turn contained these words: "This notice is to inform you that an attempt has been or will be made to send funds electronically to your bank account via ACH or Wire transfer." The funds appeared in my account the next day – the day immediately following the transmittal of my invoice.
  
  Now, I'm hesitant to think that this will be the model for all future payments, but it surely is a good start to our business relationship!

As I look back over my time as a freelance consultant, I find that these two experiences are actually more representative than the hellish interactions I mentioned at the top of the post. I'm not sure why, but I suspect the fact that most of my clients come by way of referrals probably introduces some "pre-screening" into the equation (on both sides of the transaction).

The work that I do now has its share of headaches, but for the most part, my clientèle isn't a contributing factor.

Hotmail Blocking Suddenlink Email?

Update (9/6): Things seem to be working again this morning. Hotmail and Suddenlink are playing nice once more.

Has anyone else experienced problems sending email to a Hotmail account via Suddenlink's SMTP server?

My wife and I have had email rejected this evening by Hotmail (mine was a reply to an incoming message; hers was a new message), and the message accompanying the bouncebacks seems to indicate that the reason for the rejection is that the messages have been deemed to be spam. Now, setting aside the question of whether our email might indeed be inconsequential enough to qualify as spam, this action seems to indicate that Hotmail has placed Suddenlink on a blacklist.

Or is it just us?

New iPods

Need to dispose of some spare cash? Apple will gladly take it and give you one of the updated iPods just announced this afternoon. Choose from:

• the iPod touch, which seems to be an iPhone without the phone; features the same cool/awful touchscreen navigation introduced on the 'phone. Oh, and did I mention wifi (802.11b & g) capability, with Safari pre-installed?


• the iPod classic, which connotes "old and busted" but with up to 160gb of space also lets you carry 40,000 songs* in your otherwise empty pocket.


• the nano now has video capability


• Even the shuffle gets a prettying-up, sporting different colors, including a red version that sends part of your money to fight AIDS in Africa. Bono thanks you, by the way.

I just checked and none of this is on Apple's website yet, by the way. Probably will be by the end of the day, though.

Our family (of two, or three if you count the dog) already has seven iPods. And all of our spare cash is already spoken for. But I'd still love to take the touch for a test-drive.

*Or one copy of MacArthur Park. Or, approximately 200 albums in uncompressed, CD-quality format, should you be so discriminating in your listening preferences.

Being Abbye's Owner

Julie drew a cartoon illustrating a story emailed to her, and I can relate to it very well.

The people in our neighborhood who know Abbye by name outnumber those who know me by name approximately 10-to-1, I'd guess.

I generally rate a nod, perhaps a smile or a "how's it going?" on a good day, while Abbye's adoring public falls all over itself to gush over her.

A dentist who lives in our neighborhood and whose commute coincides with our morning walk recently told me, "you know, I need to stop someday and visit with Abbye. She's the most loved dog in the city." Seriously. I don't even know what that means.

Drivers slow down to stare (and smile) at the little fur-ball doing the imitation of a live pull-toy. I'll bet if you were to ask them five minutes later to describe the person on the other end of the leash, they'd say something like..."um...person?"

If I ever decide to switch from building websites to robbing banks to make a living (and in the process regaining my respectability), I'm taking Abbye along on the heists. I'd sail through every line-up.

Here's the ironic thing: Abbye couldn't care less. She's so much like a cat in that regard. You can fawn over her all you like and she won't give you the time of day. People chalk it up to her blindness, but I know she's just being a prima donna. But, you know, nobody listens to me. Nobody.

Font-Obsessed Like Me

Don't know what you're doing on your Labor Day holiday, but I'm watching the Dead Like Me* marathon on the Sci Fi Channel and feeling pretty self-satisfied because I just tracked down the cool font used for the title and credits on the show.

Googling the term "font used on 'Dead Like Me'" turned up nothing useful, so I thought I'd take a shot at it with MyFonts.com's WhatTheFont typeface search feature. I extracted the title from the header graphic on the DLM home page, converted it to black-and-white for maximum legibility and uploaded the resulting JPG to the WhatTheFont website. After giving WTF (stop laughing) a couple of hints as to the identity of some of the more stylized glyphs, it quickly returned a font that is undoubtedly the right one: Chiller, by Linotype.

Here's another example of the font:

Now, what I need is a client whose site would be an appropriate vehicle for Chiller.

Well, on second thought...

*Dead Like Me, in case you've never watched it, is a black comedy series about the "lives" of Grim Reapers, who are actually dead people who harvest the souls of live people just as they are about to become, um, dead people.