Happy New Year!

The Gazette will be dormant for the rest of the year, giving our hard-working pixels a time of much-needed rest and reflection.

I want to thank each of you who took the time during 2007 to stop by here, and especially those who left comments. I know you have better things to do with your time, and I hope you found a brief respite from the trials and tribulations of the real world during your visit(s).

I also hope that each of you find 2008 to be a year of wonderful surprises, and that this time next year you'll be able to look back and say, "gee, I really hate to see this one end!"

Happy New Year, amigos, and may God bless you and yours with the desires of your hearts!

What is it?

Drag your cursor to highlight the hidden text below if you can't figure it out.

This is a .38 Special cartridge filled with lead shot, also known as a "snake load." It's used for shooting snakes (preferably just the venomous kind), which can be devilishly difficult to hit with a regular bullet.

The Reason for the Season

If this post looks familiar, then I thank you for your perseverance in visiting the Gazette at least every 12 months. It's become a tradition here to post the lyrics to what I consider to be the best contemporary Christmas song, one that captures the wonder and reverence I feel when I contemplate that God would come to earth in the form of a baby in order to provide a free gift of salvation for any who want it. May you and yours have a blessed Christmas in every sense of the Word.

I'll Be Experiencing Cognitive Dissonance for Christmas

Regardless of the time of year you visit Santa Fe, if you make the wise choice to dine at any of the scores of excellent Mexican restaurants scattered throughout the city, you'll likely be presented with the option of having your entrée smothered with a combination of red and green chile, and that option will be referred to as "Christmas." (You should always choose that option, by the way. Trust me on this.)

I bring this up because last night as we were driving home after coffee and dessert, one of the Christmas music stations on XM Radio regaled us with Winter Wonderland as interpreted by the Eurythmics, and among other questions (firmly planted at the top of the list was "why?") was idle speculation as to whether Annie Lennox's scalp at the time of the recording would have properly been referred to as "Christmas."

"White Christmas" Trivia

One of our favorite Christmas movies is White Christmas, the 1954 film starring Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye (I can't believe I'm even bothering to tell you that, but perhaps there's someone in the universe who hasn't seen the movie). After years of telling each other "we really need to buy that movie" I finally did so last week and we watched it this afternoon while MLB wrapped the last of the gifts (well, except for those I just finished wrapping, having waited until the last possible minute to do so...and, boy, does it show! But that's another story for another time.).

One thing I've wondered about is why every last one of Vera-Ellen's outfits in the movie has a high neckline. Vera-Ellen plays Judy Haynes, Danny Kaye's love interest in the movie. The costuming is really obvious when she's next to Rosemary Clooney, whose wardrobe features necklines that go in the opposite direction.

As it turns out, before anorexia had even been defined as a disease, Vera-Ellen had it, at least according to her bio at IMDB.com. That's easy to believe given her slender build (the bio says that she had a 21" waist, bigger than Scarlett O'Hara's but still certifiably waspish; plus, Scarlett wasn't, you know, real), although it certainly didn't seem to affect her amazing dancing skills. Anyway, one of the effects of her anorexia was a prematurely aged neck, and the costumes were designed to cover that flaw.

I doubt that I'll ever be able to watch White Christmas again without focusing on that fashion design, and the reason for it. I see no reason why you shouldn't be equally distracted. Merry Christmas!

Stumped for shopping hints? Give the gift of web.

Ubër-webhost Media Temple is offering The Hosting Card, a gift card (real or virtual, your choice, although the deadline for by-Christmas delivery of the plasticware has passed) as a suggestion for that hard-to-shop for geek on your Christmas list. The card, which lists for $95, entitles the bearer to one year of hosting, one "free" (well, somebody paid for it, didn't they?) domain name, and 500 GPUs per month (if the person you're giving the card to can understand the implications of GPUs, then you've made the right choice).

I highly recommend this a gift for all your family members, neighbors, co-workers, fellow church members, service providers, and passersby on the street. Because once they discover that The Hosting Card doesn't come with an actual, you know, website, well, then, they can just drop me a line (or call, tollfree: BR-549). I'm pretty sure I can provide 'em with something that will keep them under their GPU allocation.

If customers can't get Circuit City's attention, can Wall Street?

Apparently I'm not the only one dissatisfied with Circuit City.

Particularly telling is the research analyst's remark about CC's apparent lack of regard for its customers, especially as compared to chief rival Best Buy. This observation corroborates my own experience and that of many of you, based on your recent comments.

In a completely fictitious news release, Circuit City executives promised to continue to punish shoppers until they cooperated more fully.

If you're seeking the ideal Christmas gift for Circuit City executive management, I humbly suggest sending them a link to The Cluetrain Manifesto. Sure, it's old, but so is the Bible.

"The Hobbit" - 2 years and counting

I have no words adequate to express (1) the hype that will accrue as the release date for The Hobbit draws closer, or (2) the absolute depth of my embrace and assimilation of that hype.

One huge question looms, however, with regard to director Peter Jackson's decision to film a sequel to The Hobbit, something that I'm pretty sure author J.R.R. Tolkien didn't anticipate (as if he anticipated any movies derived from his writing). And that question is...

Only one? Are you insane?! C'mon, man! Why not six, or twelve, or twenty!?! One is not enough!

Ahem.

Update: Link to "TheOneRing.net" added above

Raptor Captors

I'm not sure how I missed this but about a month ago, someone compiled a list the Top 30 Avian Abductions over the past 100 years.

The author had the good sense to wait until after Thanksgiving to post the list, thereby reducing the possibility of turkey-related nightmares.

I find it interesting that all 30 accounts came during the first 50 years of the reporting period. None were documented since then. How might that be explained? (It should be noted that this list wasn't intended to be comprehensive, but it's still odd that such events weren't infrequent up until the late 1940s.) Are the reports suspect? Were the birds somehow more "wild" back then? Was human encroachment into their territory more novel, and had the raptors not yet learned to fear people?

A few of the stories are pretty heartbreaking. Obviously, the victims in these attacks were invariably babies or small children, and some of them didn't survive.

While you're in the neighborhood, stick around and read the author's theories about the existence of "winged snakes."

Illinois Paranoia

Silly, huh?

Except that it seems to be a dominant line of thought for various Illinois bloggers and their readers.

Update: This paranoia is even more amusing when you consider that Illinois ranks higher than Texas (#31 vs. #47) in the Citizens Against Government Waste's 2006 Pig Book.

"I have a style?"

Charles Hill writes over at dustbury.com of his fondness for the work of H. Allen Smith (former resident of Alpine, Texas, and one of MLB's favorites authors, as well), to the point where Charles chose to model his writing style after Smith's. (Not being a Smith aficionado I cannot assess Charles's success in emulating that style, although if Smith was half as good as Charles, then he did pretty well for himself.)

That got me to thinking about my own writing style. If I wanted to be strictly accurate (not a blogger's best strategy, by the way), I'd have to say that if you took the worst of George Will (long sentences without the benefit of pithy insight) and married it (o, unholy union!) with the ugliest of Hunter S. Thompson (skewed reality without the gonzo sensibility), then you'd be pretty much in the ballpark.

To be honest, my H. Allen Smith was actually Dave Barry, who I thought was pretty much the funniest human being on the face of the planet. I'm sure that there are countless numbers of hacks like me who have tried unsuccessfully to duplicate Barry's style, because he makes it seem so doggone easy.

Of course, unless you're Dave Barry – and, really, who is? – it's not.

In the end, the title of this post* says it all: one must be a writer to have a writing style, and I'm not there. Someday? Perhaps. But I feel truly sorry for the poor desperate soul that decides to emulate my "style."

*For bonus points, identify the source of the title. There may be several right answers; you'll have to guess which one I'm expecting.

FutureGen: West Texas dodged a bullet?

I realize that this won't be construed as anything but sour grapes by the good people of Mattoon, Illinois, but since the selection of that location for the FutureGen project had barely hit the ground yesterday before the DOE began waffling about the project's funding, it does seem appropriate to share one (or two) cautionary words that have a bit of relevance: Superconducting Supercollider.

It's tempting to say that if the availability of government funding is the primary motivator for undertaking a project, then that project is doomed from the start. However, that's not a fair nor accurate description of FutureGen, which has sound and desirable technological underpinnings. And there have been some noteworthy scientific achievements arise from federal government initiatives (the space program comes to mind). Still, the DOE is not NASA, and it's better known as a political pawn than an agent for technological breakthroughs.

So, the appearance of sour grapes notwithstanding, the West Texas FutureGen team is likely better off if it can move forward with a private initiative. And to the folks in Mattoon, best of luck; you're going to need it.

Need some TV advice

Sometime early next year we're going to have to make a huge decision, one that will have a significant impact on our lifestyle and mental health for the next decade or so.

We need to pick out a new TV.

Frankly, I'm bewildered by the choices, so I thought I'd harness the power of the 'sphere and solicit your advice. If you have any recent experience with flat screen TVs, please feel free to share it. To give you an idea of where we are in the process, here are some things I know, or think I know, or think I should know but really don't:

• Size should be 40"-42". That's fixed, as it's what the space allows.


• Should be wall-mountable. Again, no flexibility there.


• I'm leaning toward LCD instead of plasma, primarily due to price but also out of a perhaps unsupportable fear of burn-in.


• I'm confused about the important of refresh rate, contrast, response time, and wide-spectrum fluorescent backlighting vs. LEDs. We don't watch a lot of sports, but we do watch a fair amount of action movies.

Given that we're still watching a 15 year old 35" CRT model, I suspect that we'll be happy with almost any choice. Still, anything worth doing is worth overdoing, so no detail is too trivial to offer an opinion about.

Font of the Month

MyFonts.com is showcasing a picture font called SubiktoTwo™. Picture fonts are just what the name implies: images or icons converted into fonts so that they can be inserted into text at various sizes and colors without extensive retouching. In the case of SubiktoTwo, the pictures are of flowers and plants:

In this example, the characters spell "Fire Ant." (But, of course, you knew that.)

It's particularly easy to generate larger images without dealing with pixelation, so picture fonts are useful in graphic design projects. The background image of this post is the character associated with the letter "G," enlarged, recolored and with a drop shadowed applied via Photoshop, and is an example of one such use (although I actually cheated and processed a graphic of the font rather than using the font itself because, frankly, I'm too cheap to spend $25 just so I can post this for free).

And the winner is...

...Illinois!?

Bummer.

[No clue? Here's an overview.]

Short-Circuited City

This morning's experience at the Post Office was a walk in the park compared to this afternoon's interlude at Circuit City.

I should have known better. Circuit City has the most onerous identity requirements and lethargic processing system known to humankind. I expect that soon we'll have to provide DNA samples from various sensitive body parts before we can write checks, although I'm not sure that even that would have helped today.

After the clerk scanned my check, the Man Behind The Scanner Curtain informed her that she needed phone approval. She dialed the phone and spent ten minutes mumbling into the handset, punching keys on the register, and entering numbers via the phone's keypad. At the end of this grueling session, she hung up and said "they rejected your check. I don't know why, but they did."

This is not the first time I've seen a check go through this process, but it is the first rejection, and it's a little difficult not to take it personally. As I handed the clerk a credit card, she said, "well, a check and a credit card are the same thing, aren't they?" I didn't bother to shepherd her through the intricacies of our banking systems and all the ways that a check and a credit card were, indeed, dissimilar. I merely replied, "that's not the point; I wanted to write a check." She then proceeded to ask for all the identity information that was included on the face of the check that she'd returned to me. (I was briefly tempted to write another check and tell her that this one would probably go through, because it had a different number.)

I suppose that this is the price one must pay to avoid the crush of the crowd at Best Buy. It's a price that I'm growing increasingly unwilling to accept.

As a part of our commitment to fair and balanced reporting, I will report that one of the salesclerks was able to immediately locate a DVD I'd been unable to find after 10 minutes of browsing the [unalphabetized] stacks of movies. It was the only question she was able to answer during my stay at the checkout counter, but we find our victories where we can, right?

Going Postal...really slowly

I heard on TV this morning that today is the busiest day of the year for the US Postal Service.

Our local branch is choosing to commemorate this occasion by having only two of its four windows open for business.

Postal customers have another term for the day.

Movie Review: "I Am Legend"

As everyone surely knows, I Am Legend is a remake of The Omega Man, a 35 year old movie starring Charlton Heston. This time around, Will Smith takes the lead as the last [normal] human being on the planet, following the spread of a virus that apparently cured cancer but had the rather unfortunate side effect of turning folks into rabid cannibals with sensitive skin.

While Smith turns in his usual charismatic and nuanced performance (he plays a very convincing "frightened") , I Am Legend will, ultimately, prove not to be. It's an acceptable horror movie (something the original -- which I believe was itself a remake) failed to achieve, and it never sinks into the same depths of preachiness or saccharin-sweet background music of The Omega Man. On the other hand, it doesn't take us anywhere new; it just spruces up the original scenery a bit.

Here are some random observations from the movie:

***SPOILER ALERT: BIG TIME SPOILERS AHEAD – YOU ARE WARNED!***

• This is just a test random comment in case you couldn't avert your eyes in time.


• Will Smith's dog is wonderful. She has an acting range that exceeds many of today's higher paid human counterparts.


• The dog dies. In the worst possible way (well, if you're a dog lover, you'll think it is). Fortunately, it's not graphic.


• The zombies are truly horrible creatures, unlike the albinos with bad attitudes in the original. They also are obviously CGI'd, and share some odd characteristics with the mummies from The Mummy film franchise – one of which is the ability to bellow unnaturally loudly while opening their mouths really wide. What's with that?


• Also, after three years of being mindless cannibals, they still wore clothes. Well, this is a PG-13 movie, after all.


• We never learn why rats and dogs are susceptible to infection, but deer and lions are not. I'm haunted by that mystery.


• Equally odd is that infected humans and infected dogs continue to have the same cooperative relationship as their uninfected counterparts.


• Will bacon really last three years?

At just over 100 minutes, I Am Legend moves at a brisk pace. It's never boring. But, in the end, it's not very satisfying either. This is one instance where the original needed more than just updating; it could have done with a makeover.

Kitty Glitter

As soon as I saw this story about cloned glow-in-the-dark cats on Fox & Friends this morning, I knew I had to write something about it, if only as an excuse for the title of the post.

"Hello, my name is Phineas and I'll be your lunch for today..."

MLB met a few of her friends for their traditional Christmas luncheon yesterday and she snapped a camera photo of one of their entrées.

They didn't think the presentation was intentional, but if you're planning on having lunch at Café at the Gardens, please order the chicken salad sandwich and give us a report as to whether yours resembles a Sesame Street character.

OK, in order to preempt an exposé on Snopes.com, we will confess that the "nose" was added after-the-fact. But everything else came straight from the kitchen in the state you see it.

I think I've set a record for using "é" in a post. Whether I've used it correctly is a whole other issue.

TXU e-Cards

At the risk of sounding like Scrooge, I'd like to suggest to TXU Energy that I'd rather they channel their resources into ways to cut my electricity bill than into building foo-foo e-card websites.

Having said that, I have to admit that stringing the lights is fun.

The Joys of Recumbancy

Despite its evocation of a junior high health class movie from the 60s, if I had to pick a short video to introduce you to the pleasures of recumbent bicycling, this would be it:

This 20-year-old movie was produced by Dick Ryan, who is often referred to as "the father of modern recumbent cycling." Ryan has designed and built some classic bikes, and his designs still set the standard for safety and comfort. The tandem that my wife and I ride was built by Dick; only 250 of them were built (and only 1,200 of his single rider recumbent, the Vanguard). A few years after our bike was made, he sold his designs and retired, but I've heard unconfirmed rumors that he's back in the business.

As a pioneer in this segment of the cycling industry, he has some fascinating insights on why recumbent cycling hasn't "gone mainstream." The following is from a 2003 interview:

Midland has a pretty sizable recumbent population, and our local bike shop sells 'bents. I've never detected an "anti-recumbent" sentiment from its staff, but I'm sure that in larger markets where competitive cycling is stronger, Dick's observations are spot on.

More accuracy than is strictly called for

An alternate stencil for this box could read "Steal Me First!"

I'm not going to tell you what the box contains or where it's stored. So there.

But, feel free to take a guess.

Nothing says "Merry Christmas"...

...quite like a blood tracking flashlight.

OK, I suppose that for a hunter, this is probably a legitimately interesting device. But, if you gave it as a gift, wouldn't you worry that you were implying that the recipient might not be the best shot in the world?

Running a Pint Low

I stopped by yesterday's reception for SSgt. John Faulkenberry and was pleased to see that I was joining a good crowd of folks who were donating blood in his honor. After I gave my pint, I met him and his wife, and visited with his dad, grandad, and aunt, all of whom I've known for years. It was a nice gathering, in every respect, although I'm not sure how many in attendance realized that the rehab on John's leg is still not out of the critical phase just yet. If you've got room on your prayer list for one more, you might fit him in there.

It had been a while since I donated blood, almost two years. Prior to that, I had been a pretty regular donor – every eight weeks – but just got out of the habit after a spell when I thought I was too busy to make the time for it. This was a good reminder to take that privilege more seriously in the future. I've got eight weeks flagged in my PDA now.

I had also forgotten about the aftereffects, until I got on the treadmill this morning, intending to run four miles. I managed to get in half that distance while still feeling like I'd run a marathon (not that I've ever actually run a marathon, but I assume that it makes you feel like warmed over spit). I walked another mile and called it a day, workout-wise.

I'm not complaining, though; not really. Compared to what those who need the blood have gone through, feeling a little rundown for a day isn't even worth mentioning.

28 Days Later

Falling for Phrynosoma

My wife was going through the photo collection recovered from her crashed hard drive (I haven't shared that story yet, have I?) and she ran across the following pictures which were taken with a cell phone a few months ago during a trip to Fort Stockton.

It's a tiny horned lizard (aka "horned frog" or "horny toad"). It's difficult to get a true sense of scale, but this will help:

These little guys aren't nearly as plentiful today as when I was a kid, and I'm not sure why that is, but it's always fun to see them. Normally, this would be a reminder of balmier summer weather, but it's been so warm lately that just yesterday I saw a lizard (albeit a non-horned one) run across the street in our soon-to-be new neighborhood. Perhaps global warming will bring the horny toad population back to its previous glory.

Movies [that] Rock

We're watching the CBS special Movies Rock which is a tribute to musicals and movie music, and there are some pretty amazing performances by current artists performing some of the great songs from the silver screen. I tuned in late, but here are some of the highlights:

• Jennifer Hudson sang Somewhere from West Side Story, and I can't help wondering why she hasn't yet been showcased in another movie following her amazing performance in Dreamgirls. She's got incredible talent.


• Usher re-created Gene Kelly's classic dance sequence from Singing in the Rain. I confess that I don't know Usher from Rush, but the kid can flat dance. I suspect he was a fan of Gregory Hines; you don't just wake up one morning with those kinds of tap dancing moves.


• OK, how intimidating would it be to sing The Sound of Music in front of a packed house of movie and music professionals? Can you think of anybody who's ever done that song better than Julie Andrews? Well, Carrie Underwood came pretty darned close. If there's a better justification for the existence of a TV show like American Idol than bringing the likes of Jennifer Hudson and Underwood to our attention, I'd like to hear it.


• Nicole Scherzinger's rendition of Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend should be required viewing for pop-tart "performers" like Britney Spears, in the hope that they might begin to discern the distinction between sultry and slutty. [And, by the way, CBS, what's up with failing to give Scherzinger and Usher any billing on your program website?]


• Harrison Ford still has that dorky earring.


• John C. Reilly and Jenna Fischer (who will be teaming up for this upcoming movie) teamed up to present some of the funniest musical moments in film history. They could have just shown the The Blues Brothers in its entirety and covered the bases, although Puttin' On the Ritz from Young Frankenstein got a well-deserved place in the sequence.


• John Williams just directed the orchestra in a musical montage of his film scores. These are some of the most recognizable tunes in history. Is there anyone who can't identify the movie scores that feature reek, reek, reek or dum dum dum dum?

When you got nothing...

...look to the squirrel.

This guy was relaxing atop our backyard fence. What you can't see (because I wasn't quick enough to frame the photo properly) is Abbye relaxing on the lawn just below the squirrel, who was keeping a cautious eye on her, but not exactly getting stressed out over her presence.

Abbye wasn't too stressed either.

Midland Blood Drive/Reception to Honor Local Soldier

You may recall this recent post about wounded Midland soldier John Faulkenberry. I've learned that John and his wife will be in Midland for a short visit with family beginning December 5th, and that a combination reception/blood drive has been organized by their families on Sunday, December 9th. Here are the details, along with some additional background information:

This seems like one of the best excuses I can think of to donate blood (as if we really needed an excuse). If you live in the Midland/Odessa area and can fit it into your schedule, please mark your calendar accordingly, and pass this along to anyone else who might be interested.