Wallbot

How cool is this?

We bought our Samsung LCD TV from Crutchfield, lured by a special sale that included a $100 gift certificate, free shipping, and a free Samsung WMN-5090A remote control motorized wall mount. The wall mount is normally $800 at Crutchfield although I'm sure you can get it for less elsewhere. The fact that it integrates so well with the TV made it impossible to pass up.

As the video shows, we've mounted the monitor over the fireplace mantel, which is far from optimal. But the tilt feature of the mount mitigates the awkward placement.

We can also program three position settings and move the TV to any of those positions with the touch of a button on the remote control. When the TV is turned off, the mount automagically returns it to its centered and flat-to-the-wall position.

By the way, if you're wondering why we have that ugly cable running from the cabinet to the TV, it's because we just got a 10 meter in-wall rated HDMI cable today which will eventually snake its way up the wall and back down to the Suddenlink DVR that provides the high-def signals. I'm patting myself on the back for running a pull cable when I installed the center channel speaker cable back before the wall was sheet-rocked. However, the HDMI cable is thicker than I anticipated, so I'm still going to have to do some drilling in the attic to get the connector up through the joist or rafter or whatever-the-heck you call that 2x6 that's in the way.

By the way, I am underwhelmed by Suddenlink's high-def offerings. However, the few free channels that are available are just as amazing as the hype would lead you to believe.

Details, Details

Overheard this morning on a local news broadcast: It's reported that the recent winners of the big PowerBall drawing were co-workers. Eight of eleven women working in the same office went in together to buy the winning ticket. Can you imagine how the other two feel today?

To her credit (but also probably out of self-defense), the reporter later joked about her inability to count.

This is one reason why I have great respect for anyone willing to appear on live TV on a daily basis. There's nowhere to hide. Having a sense of humor would seem to be a requirement for survival.

Programming Note

If you're looking for the Westminster Dog Show on TV and can't find it at its regular home on the USA Network, be advised that hour two is being shown live on CNBC.

Apparently, USA feels that there are more WWE fans than dog lovers.

Need some TV advice

Sometime early next year we're going to have to make a huge decision, one that will have a significant impact on our lifestyle and mental health for the next decade or so.

We need to pick out a new TV.

Frankly, I'm bewildered by the choices, so I thought I'd harness the power of the 'sphere and solicit your advice. If you have any recent experience with flat screen TVs, please feel free to share it. To give you an idea of where we are in the process, here are some things I know, or think I know, or think I should know but really don't:

• Size should be 40"-42". That's fixed, as it's what the space allows.


• Should be wall-mountable. Again, no flexibility there.


• I'm leaning toward LCD instead of plasma, primarily due to price but also out of a perhaps unsupportable fear of burn-in.


• I'm confused about the important of refresh rate, contrast, response time, and wide-spectrum fluorescent backlighting vs. LEDs. We don't watch a lot of sports, but we do watch a fair amount of action movies.

Given that we're still watching a 15 year old 35" CRT model, I suspect that we'll be happy with almost any choice. Still, anything worth doing is worth overdoing, so no detail is too trivial to offer an opinion about.

Movies [that] Rock

We're watching the CBS special Movies Rock which is a tribute to musicals and movie music, and there are some pretty amazing performances by current artists performing some of the great songs from the silver screen. I tuned in late, but here are some of the highlights:

• Jennifer Hudson sang Somewhere from West Side Story, and I can't help wondering why she hasn't yet been showcased in another movie following her amazing performance in Dreamgirls. She's got incredible talent.


• Usher re-created Gene Kelly's classic dance sequence from Singing in the Rain. I confess that I don't know Usher from Rush, but the kid can flat dance. I suspect he was a fan of Gregory Hines; you don't just wake up one morning with those kinds of tap dancing moves.


• OK, how intimidating would it be to sing The Sound of Music in front of a packed house of movie and music professionals? Can you think of anybody who's ever done that song better than Julie Andrews? Well, Carrie Underwood came pretty darned close. If there's a better justification for the existence of a TV show like American Idol than bringing the likes of Jennifer Hudson and Underwood to our attention, I'd like to hear it.


• Nicole Scherzinger's rendition of Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend should be required viewing for pop-tart "performers" like Britney Spears, in the hope that they might begin to discern the distinction between sultry and slutty. [And, by the way, CBS, what's up with failing to give Scherzinger and Usher any billing on your program website?]


• Harrison Ford still has that dorky earring.


• John C. Reilly and Jenna Fischer (who will be teaming up for this upcoming movie) teamed up to present some of the funniest musical moments in film history. They could have just shown the The Blues Brothers in its entirety and covered the bases, although Puttin' On the Ritz from Young Frankenstein got a well-deserved place in the sequence.


• John Williams just directed the orchestra in a musical montage of his film scores. These are some of the most recognizable tunes in history. Is there anyone who can't identify the movie scores that feature reek, reek, reek or dum dum dum dum?

Dancing With the Stars: Helio races to the trophy

I predicted it, but it didn't really take a rocket scientist (or professional dancer) to see that race car driver Helio Castroneves would win this year's Dancing With The Stars competition.

I didn't think Spice Girl Mel B. had the fan base to get her into the finals, let alone win the coveted Disco Ball Trophy. I was wrong about the first thing, but not the second. She was clearly the judges' favorite – not by a lot, but consistently so – but Castroneves had the charisma (and the Y chromosome) necessary to win the female vote. It's a tossup as to which we'll get first: a female DWTS champion or a female president.

I also believe that viewers will continue to reward those contestants who don't have a background in dance. The appealing premise of the show is that people undertake something outside their comfort zones, and that we get to watch them on a journey through the season. Professional entertainers may have the edge in terms of composure on the stage, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they won't have two left feet.

I'm reminded of a quote from the movie All That Jazz, where Roy Scheider plays a character – Joe Gideon – based not-so-loosely on famed choreographer Bob Fosse. In one scene, Gideon is attempting to console a female dancer who made it into his production by way of the casting couch, and who has just realized that she doesn't really have the talent to be where she is. Gideon tells her something like this: I can't make you a great dancer. I don't know if I can even make you a good dancer. But if you work hard and don't give up, I promise you that I can make you a better dancer.

That's what the DWTS audience tunes in each week to see: someone becoming a better dancer. And, who knows, maybe a great dancer will emerge.

Handicapping DWT '07

Tonight we'll learn which three couples will advance to the finals in this season's edition of Dancing With the Stars. So, once again, I'm putting my professional and personal reputation on the line by providing my earnest-yet-uninformed opinions about the contestants and their chances. (It should be noted that I did pick last year's winner, but missed just about everything else. Hey, you're getting what you're paying for, so don't complain.)

Here's assessment of the skill of the remaining contestants.

1. Mel B (aka Scary Spice) – For raw dancing prowess, she stands head, shoulders, and D-cup ahead of everyone else. She's also a scary-fierce competitor, and a good match for her partner, Mad Max. If it was just about the dancing, she's the easy winner.


2. Helio Castroneves (aka Speed Racer) – Helio is this year's Apolo or Emmitt. He's smooth and precise, as you would expect from an open-wheel driver, and his sheer joy in performing is infectious.


3. Jennie Garth (aka Who Dat?) - She's another pleasant surprise. Like Helio, she had no formal dance training, and she struggled early on with technique and confidence. The former was expected; the latter was a surprise to those of us accustomed to seeing celebs handle anything thrown at them. But she absolutely rocked last night's cha cha, and showed that she's overcome both of those early issues.


4. Marie Osmond (aka the Swooning Sweetheart) - I just realized something last night (a guilty confession): Marie is hot. Or, she can be when she puts her mind to it. She's easily the weakest dancer in the final group, but she's not afraid to take chances, and she knows how to shine when the music starts.

So, that's how I see them stack up based on pure skill. Here's how I predict they'll actually finish, based on some intangibles that I'm completely unqualified to assess:

4. Mel B - She goes home tonight, as the voters penalize her for being, well, a professional dancer. As with the Cheetah Girl, who got spanked early much to the surprise of the judges, the viewing public wants to see someone they can relate to perform under pressure, and no one can relate to a Spice Grrrl.


3. Jennie - To be honest – and this surprises me – Jennie would be my personal favorite to win, because she epitomizes the reason this show is successful: celebrities put in situations outside their comfort zones so we can watch them squirm and either excel or exit. Jennie has come further, with more honest tenacity, than any of the other competitors, and she's turned into a very, very good dancer.


2. Marie - You think Mormons don't rock the vote, especially for ballroom dancing? Brigham Young University has one of the premier dance troupes in the world, and I have no problem extrapolating from that directly to a situation where Osmond's innate likability and showmanship more than overcome her relatively plodding dance steps.


1. Helio - Sorry, girls; this is, ultimately, a competition decided by women, and Helio is just too darned cute not to prevail. That alone wouldn't do it for him, but he's got the skill to back it up. And, like Jennie, he's an amateur in sense of having no dance background. (Unlike Jennie, however, he stepped onto the floor with a fairly high level of apparently natural ability). His secret weapon is his partner, Julianne Hough, whose personality and choreography helped Apolo Anton Ohno win last year.

So, there you have my bold predictions. Feel free to start poking fun at me immediately following tonight's results show (or sooner, if you want to get a jump on the holiday crowd).

Finally. A truly worthy task for the MDC.

If the Midland Development Corporation wants to truly make an impact on our city, it needs to get it in gear and figure out (a) why Odessa was selected for a branch office of Dunder Mifflin Infinity and Midland wasn't, and (2) how our fair city can get on the list.

This injustice cannot stand!

If you have no frame of reference for the preceding, other than agreeing that it's always good when a new business opens its doors in the area, then this post is not for you.

Say what?!

I had despaired of finding either the inspiration or the time to post anything, but the former came in the form of ten minutes of television and the latter is being carved out of the time I usually devote to counting ceiling tiles.

Do you ever really listen to what's being broadcast? If you do, you won't be surprised by the following:

• The anchor on a national news show, describing a "breaking story" about a landslide in California, said that details were sketchy but that they were "efforting" to get more information. Just what we need: yet another noun-turned-verb.


• This was closely followed by an ad for a resort in the Caribbean which features many amenities and wonderful things, including an "exotic offshore island." Those really are the best kind, of course.


• Asian TV ads for English speaking audiences are an endless source of amusement and/or bafflement. The latter reaction accompanied the commercial for Korean Air, which featured a series of images (most of which had nothing to do with air travel) accompanied by various adjectives in text form. You know, adjectives like "graceful," "visionary," "admired," and, um, "pledging."


• Not everything on TV is silly. Car maker Hyundai is running a series of ads with the theme "Think About It." Along with the world's slowest loading website and some excessively preachy messages, it's providing at least one bit of commendable commentary. The ad I just saw spoke of commitment, and how it had become a scarce commodity in today's culture. "Don't like your nose? Get a new one. Don't like your spouse? Get a new one. Whatever happened to commitment, of making a decision and standing by it?" I confess to being puzzled as to how this will help them sell more cars, but it's a refreshing perspective.

Obligatory warning: Paying close attention to what's on television is not recommended. The preceding was done on a closed course by a professional cynic. Do not try this at home.

Font-Obsessed Like Me

Don't know what you're doing on your Labor Day holiday, but I'm watching the Dead Like Me* marathon on the Sci Fi Channel and feeling pretty self-satisfied because I just tracked down the cool font used for the title and credits on the show.

Googling the term "font used on 'Dead Like Me'" turned up nothing useful, so I thought I'd take a shot at it with MyFonts.com's WhatTheFont typeface search feature. I extracted the title from the header graphic on the DLM home page, converted it to black-and-white for maximum legibility and uploaded the resulting JPG to the WhatTheFont website. After giving WTF (stop laughing) a couple of hints as to the identity of some of the more stylized glyphs, it quickly returned a font that is undoubtedly the right one: Chiller, by Linotype.

Here's another example of the font:

Now, what I need is a client whose site would be an appropriate vehicle for Chiller.

Well, on second thought...

*Dead Like Me, in case you've never watched it, is a black comedy series about the "lives" of Grim Reapers, who are actually dead people who harvest the souls of live people just as they are about to become, um, dead people.

Fair & Balanced Preemptions

OK, I lied. I'm posting. So sue me. [No, please don't.] I couldn't resist sharing this.

I just received an email from XM Radio publicizing its upcoming college football broadcasts (this will be the first year that XM will broadcast selected Big 12 games, by the way). In the fine print at the bottom of the page was this note:

Someone obviously has made some very careful programming decisions in an attempt to be fair. Unfortunately, knowing human nature, they'll succeed only in ticking off just about everybody: liberals (Air America*), conservatives (America Right), and everyone else (The Weather Channel). But you have to give 'em credit for the symmetry.

One question I do have for the XM publicists is which of those three channels falls into the category of "entertainment"?

Now, who's up for monitoring XM through the season to track the number of times each station actually gets preempted, in order to lodge a claim of bias? Surely someone will perform that "valuable" public service for us.

*I thought these guys went bankrupt. Financially, that is.

TV Exclusive: My DWTS Nominations!

While ABC has not yet officially announced the lineup for this year's Dancing With The Stars, I see that Entertainment Weekly has revealed that one of the competitors will be none other than Mr. Las Vegas himself, Wayne Newton. The rest of the cast will be announced on August 29, on Good Morning America.

In anticipation of that announcement, and in case ABC is having trouble filling the slots, I hereby offer my ideas for who should join Mr. Newton on the show. It's obvious that the show's producers have a predetermined list of generic roles to fill, and so the challenge is to find the right person to fill each role. Thus, I've described the role, and the ideal candidate to fill it.

• Famous retired athlete - Lance Armstrong


• Obscure retired athlete - Greg Louganis


• Clueless starlet-type - Paris Hilton


• Actor in need of career jumpstart - Steven Seagal


• Actress in need of career jumpstart - Demi Moore


• Current athlete in off-season - Carly Patterson (Olympic gold medal gymnast)


• Obligatory AARP representative - Already filled by Wayne Newton, but I was holding out for Bob Barker


• Media representative - Fox's Brian Kilmeade


• Guy who's there only for comic relief - Venezuela's Clown-in-Chief, Hugo Chavez


• Female bucking industry body-type conventions - Jennifer Hudson


• Politician - Karl Rove

If any of these are unavailable, my backup list includes Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz), Ben Stein, Julia Louis-Dreyfuss, Gina Torres (Serenity), and Kinky Friedman.

The only category I failed to include is "Entertainer Ringer," reserved for those who are only slightly on this side of the "professionally-trained dancer" line (ala Joey Fatone, last year). That's a category I hope the producers will also omit.

Technorati tag: Dancing With The Stars

Judy Fulton (Miss Judy) Passes

In June, I wrote about Judy Fulton, who portrayed Miss Judy on the local franchise of Romper Room. Judy's son, Doug DeBolt, had run across yet another post about local TV in the 60s and sent me an update on his mom.

I received another email from Doug yesterday informing me that Judy passed away last Monday. Doug also provided some additional information that might resonate with long-time Permian Basin residents:

Here are some of the links provided by Doug:

• Moving Tribute on Legacy.com


• Obituary and guest book


• 6-minute video of "Miss Judy and Friends" from the Odessa Fire Department historical site (Note: In addition to capturing "Miss Judy's" obvious grace and beauty – I'll surely not be the only one to whom the mental comparison to Jacqueline Kennedy comes to mind – this video is a fascinating historical snapshot of Odessa from 40+ years ago.)

I must admit that Midland Community Theater was not on my family's cultural radar screen back then, not in the backwaters of Fort Stockton. I thought a trip to the movie theater was akin to visiting Disneyland. But I understand that the theater was thriving both in Midland and Odessa (via the Permian Playhouse), and Judy would have been no small celebrity as a result, even without her television appearances.

Our condolences go out to Doug and the rest of Judy Fulton's family.

What were they thinking?

If you ever get to the point where you start believing that television programmers might actually know what they're doing, or that the general television viewing public has an eye for quality programming, stop and remind yourself that the plug was pulled on Firefly after only eleven episodes while Ghost Whisperer is about to start its third season.

If those facts don't give you a strong dose of reality, you're gorram doomed.

Romper Room Reminiscing

A couple of years ago, I posted about a local cartoon show from my childhood called The Admiral Foghorn Show. That post and another one about an artist who appeared on the show stimulated a number of comments and emails from folks who remembered the shows and/or the actors from the decade of the 1960s. A few people mentioned a similar show of that same vintage, Romper Room, the local version of which (the show was essentially a franchise that appeared in just about every market in the US, and a few overseas) featured Miss Judy.

I was a little older than the target demographic, and thus was more fixated on the cartoons of The Admiral Foghorn Show, but Miss Judy was still a part of the collective consciousness of anyone growing up in west Texas during that period. And so I was pleased to get an email from someone who'd found one of the aforementioned posts, although some of the content wasn't so pleasant. Here's an excerpt:

The email came from Doug DeBolt, who is the Newsletter Editor for GEMC / GEORGIA Magazine. Doug, who graciously granted me permission to post this, was born in Odessa in the 60s, but hasn't been back in almost twenty years. His mother, Judy Fulton, is now 67 and dealing with metastasized breast cancer. She's also an advocate for the implementation of electronic medical records as a way of sparing patients the trials of having to repeat their medical histories over and over to every new physician they encounter.

If you remember Miss Judy from your childhood, or if you had kids that watched her on Romper Room, you might want to add her to your prayer list. I'm sure that she and her family would appreciate it.

Technorati tag: Romper Room

"Makng News: Texas Style" – Week 3

Having just watched the third episode of Making News: Texas Style, I'm wondering more than ever why they haven't subtitled it Cramming 20 minutes of original programming into a one-hour slot. And 20 minutes might be stretching it. As much as I want to see how the series unfolds, I'm not sure how much more I can take of the repetitious "what's gone on before" and "what's coming up next" announcements.

Anyway, here are some additional random observations about tonight's episode:

• The clichéd background music that appears whenever the storyline shifts to "demoted" anchorman Bill Warren is pretty sophomoric. As MLB put it (and at the risk of dating her), "it makes him look like Clem Kadiddlehopper." I wasn't thinking of that precise term, but the bumpkinesque soundtrack is clearly intended to reinforce Bill's age and "avuncular" personality. Points off for lack of subtlety.


• Melissa Correa is a sympathetic character, speaking frankly about her self-image problems and lack of confidence. It's sad really – she's a pretty girl and needs to realize it, but her chosen profession isn't kind to those who fight the battles she's struggling with.


• The fatal flaw in the show may prove not to be the goofy music or the annoying promos, but basic factual inaccuracy. If you're going to come to our towns and shoot some TV, the least you can do is correctly distinguish between Odessa and Midland. Case in point: next week's episode implies that reporter Kara Lee will visit pørn shops on "the seedier side of Midland." As Bleu points out in a comment on an earlier post, this works only if the "seedier side of Midland" is, in fact, Odessa. I realize this won't mean much, if anything, to viewers outside the area, but if the producers get this fundamental thing wrong, what else are they messing up?


• It was interesting to see Barry Marks, the station manager, on camera, giving a gentle dressing down to the troops for their failure to make up ground to their bitter competitors, KWES-TV (the NBC affiliate from which they "stole" Jay Hendricks, the new anchor). I once helped pitch a business idea to Marks. He passed. And the idea failed, proving that his judgment is to be respected.

Overall, tonight's episode was not the sort of thing that makes one wait with bated breath for the next one.

Technorati tag: Making News: Texas Style

"Making News: Texas Style" – Kara Responds

For those who are following the discussion arising from recent posts about our local reality TV series, you might be interested in KOSA-TV reporter Kara Lee's response to this one entitled "Making News: Texas Style": OK, I'll go first.... Scroll down to the penultimate entry to read her comment (bloggers always reserve the right to have the last word on their own posts. ;-)

As you may recall, I (and others) were pretty hard on Kara about her dialog and behavior shown in last week's episode. While I'm not backing off any of those observations, I do appreciate her willingness to give her side of the story with good humor. She can't be too upset about the fact that she's the one generating much of the buzz about the show.

Technorati tag: Making News: Texas Style

"Are we that shallow?"

Following up on the previous post about Making News: Texas Style, I revisited Geoff Fox's blog to get his impressions of the second episode. The title of this post was lifted from his report; here it is in context:

Geoff uses "we" in the first sentence because he's a TV weatherman at WTNH in Connecticut. He's experienced and competent (they don't give Emmys to just anyone) and so it's a bit surprising to me that he'd even ask the question.

Yes, Geoff, you are that superficial. But, really, it's not your fault; we've made you that way.

We – the TV audience – judge you on-camera folks on the most shallow of criteria: Are you thin enough? Are your teeth white enough? Is your smile winsome enough? Do you have good hair (weathermen and, occasionally, sportscasters get a pass on this one)? If you're not at least as pretty as what we see when we look in our mirrors, then your credibility takes a hit. Your career is dependent on whether you can entice us to keep putting your channel on at 6 and 10, instead of watching Seinfeld reruns.

The good news is that you're no more superficial than anyone else in America who makes more than a subsistence income and thus has the time and energy to worry about what other people think about them. You just happened to have chosen a profession that requires you to stress over the issue.

If I have a beef with your observation, it's that you've labeled as shallow people you don't know. You, of all people, should know how the camera and the editor can join forces to make a silk purse from a pig's ear, or a saint from a horse's rear. Judging the competence of the news crew at KOSA – and especially their "intellectual depth" – based on a few minutes of "reality TV" is unfair at best. (And before you take me to task for doing the same thing, keep in mind that I've observed many of these folks on TV and in "real life" for years.)

Maybe we don't have as many life-or-death issues out here in the flatlands of west Texas, or perhaps our discussions aren't often burdened with an excess of gravitas. Frankly, that's why we like living out here. (Lord knows it isn't for the scenery.) Having nothing to cover except a basketball game featuring some waitresses doesn't make the reporter any less serious about his profession, or any less competent. We all have to work with what we've got.

I know. Perception is reality. That's the curse, and the pleasure, of so-called realty TV. But heaven help us when we start believing everything we see.

Technorati tag: Making News: Texas Style

"Making News: Texas Style": OK, I'll go first...

I could grow old waiting for the other local bloggers to write anything about Making News: Texas Style. You'd think that an original reality show set in west Texas featuring well known local people would generate some insights and opinions, but I guess I'm the only one with nothing better to do.

I caught the second installment of the series last night (my wife DVRed the first showing but I haven't decided whether I'll watch it) and offer the following observations. But to bring newcomers up to speed, the show was filmed at the local CBS affiliate, whose studios are in a mall in Odessa, and it offers "behind the scenes" looks at the news operation.

• First, all those years of watching CNN and Fox News have apparently paid off, as the continually scrolling program listings at the bottom of the screen weren't as distracting as I expected. Still, watching an actual show on the TV Guide channel is, well, strange. It's kind of like letterboxing on steroids.


• There's an old adage in the training profession that goes, "tell 'em what you're going to tell 'em, tell 'em, and then tell 'em what you told 'em." That sort of repetition does improve the effectiveness of a classroom, but it hardly makes for compelling TV. And thus we're maddened by the massive number of "reviews" and "previews" immediately preceding and following commercial breaks (of which there are many, as in, like, infinity). Seriously, do they think our attention spans are so small as to render us unaware of what happened five minutes earlier? [Now, out of an overdeveloped sense of fairness, I'll concede that the very nature of the TV Guide Network probably justifies such reminders, what with people popping in and out at odd times to check on which channels are not showing "Law and Order" re-runs; those folks are probably shocked to see actual programming taking place, assuming they even notice it. Just as I unconsciously filtered out the program listings, I'll bet many of the TV Guide visitors filter out the program itself, thinking it's an ad.]


• Anyway, my point in that previous paragraph is that this series is supposed to consist of thirteen episodes, and I'm curious as to whether they've actually got the footage for that run, given that last night's one hour broadcast was a pretty solid twenty minutes of original content.


• The show itself was probably entertaining for viewers who are familiar with all the characters. I'm not sure how captivating it was for the other 200 million American viewers. According to this website, the Midland/Odessa market is #159 (just behind Minot-Bismarck-Dickinson (Williston), ND and just ahead of Biloxi-Gulfport, MS) out of #210. However, the size of the market is what should attract viewers, because it shows a component of the TV news business that is rarely seen. Everyone focuses on the major markets, forgetting that millions of people don't get their local news via those outlets.


• The fascination with the show comes in seeing familiar people let their guards down, and some come off better than others. Here's my scorecard...
  
  
  • Jay Hendricks - Not surprisingly, Jay comes off as the eye of the storm. He's confident in his role and his abilities, even if he's champing at the bit to get back on camera (his non-compete clause with his previous employer kept him off the air for six months).
  
  
  • Tatum Hubbard - The former Miss Texas and Jay's co-anchor is relegated to a bit part in this episode; her only line of dialog is an almost unintelligible response to one of the station's reporter's complaints about a story the reporter is involved in. I assume we'll see more of Tatum in future episodes.
  
  
  • Kara Lee - Lee is a young reporter from Houston and occasional back-up anchor who is passing through this market on her way to bigger and better things. She's the most entertaining character of the bunch, but that's not necessarily a good thing. She curses like a sailor and doesn't hide her disdain for us rubes out here in Hicksville. Darlin', you may be able to ratchet up your Texas twang a bit in an attempt to ingratiate yourself to the citizens of Goldsmith, but don't mistake good-natured tolerance for acceptance. Also, you might want to learn the difference between a donkey and a burro. However, you do get props for chasing down and confronting the tow-truck driver who blew his airhorn behind you just as you began a live report from the field. Kara may be a force to be reckoned with if her skill and on-air charisma ever catch up to her ambition.
  
  
  • Jeff Stewart, the station's sports director, seems to be having the most fun of the group. He laments that he has to use his own vehicle to chase down stories because the station's fleet is broken and acknowledges the irony of the station owner also running a car dealership. But he's having fun because he gets to play basketball with the Hooter's Girls (in an exhibition game that the girls win by one point, an accomplishment that escapes at least one of them: Did we win?, she queries one of her teammates after the game). It puzzles me that Jeff doesn't get billing with the main cast of characters for the show; perhaps last night's episode marks the apex of his reality show involvement. This segment of the show is also marked by the brief appearance of Scott Shields, the sports director over at the NBC affiliate, and it offers a glimpse as to how media outlets in small markets work together, even as they compete.
  
  
  • The drama in the show is attributable to the presence of Bill Warren, the previous anchor whose place Jay Hendricks is taking. He's not happy with the demotion and says so. [Completely peripheral issue: he talks about the situation where he's now working for Jay. I figured the whole news department reported to the news director. Does the anchor actually have supervisory authority over other members of the team?] Bill's contract expires in July, and he's unsure of his future past that time. His angst is palpable and understandable, and yet he deals with it with humor, albeit of a gallows nature.


• One obvious absence in last night's show was the entire weather team. Again, perhaps that will change in future episodes, but the weather reports are a big reason people tune into local broadcasts, and CBS-7 has made some interesting choices in their choices of weathermen.

In summary, Making News: Texas Style has good production values, and demonstrates that the profession of TV news reporters is not all that different from any other in terms of day-to-day challenges. The people are flawed – just like you and me – and they're probably less confident in their abilities than you and I might believe. But they like what they're doing, and they take their responsibilities seriously. I doubt the show will win any Emmys, but it's not a waste of time, either. We'll be watching again next week.

Here's another blogger's take on the show, based on the first episode. Perhaps we'll see some other local bloggers chiming in at some point.

In case you need me...

...I'll be in an undisclosed location watching this, which I received yesterday as an early birthday present from my brother and his wife.

This could prove to be a very unproductive week for me.

Technorati tag: Firefly

Chill Bump Inducing

Update: Deborah (whose absence from the blogosphere has only one acceptable excuse, which is that she's focused on writing a novel – and if that's not the case, then we demand some new Glove Box Stories, toot sweet) tells me that the man in the video linked below is singing the Nessun Dorma from Puccini's "Turandot," one of her favorite operas. She provides a helpful link to a translation and exposition of that aria. While I'm impressed with her knowledge and passion for this art form – and I love having opera-lovers for readers; it makes me feel less low-rent – for me, this video is not really about the opera. The guy could be singing the back of a Cheerios box and still deserve a standing ovation. Although I'll confess that his performance is made more meaningful because of his choice of material. He's obviously in it for the love of the music, and not for the commercial potential.

Jimmy posted a link to the short version of the following video. It speaks for itself.

"Making News: Texas Style"

I had heard rumors about a new reality show supposedly filmed at a local TV station, but until I saw this article* in this morning's newspaper, I had no details.

Making News: Texas Style is a behind the scenes look at the new operations at KOSA-TV, the local CBS affiliate broadcasting from – if you can believe it – a shopping mall in nearby Odessa. If it sounds low-rent, don't believe it; KOSA is the hot ticket in local TV nowadays, giving the previous 800-pound gorilla in the market, the NBC affiliate (KWES), a run for its money.

The fun thing about this series is that all the characters are familiar to west Texans. We see most of them every day – not only on TV but all around town – and some of them we've "known" for decades. The exposure of the reasoning and strategy behind some of the recent decisions and personnel moves should be fascinating.

One important detail omitted in the newspaper article is that the TV Guide Network is Channel 76 on Suddenlink's system, and Channel 18 on Grande Communications. (Sidenote: Good luck finding any programming guide on Suddenlink's website; I guess that's proprietary information.)

The first installment ran last Monday, but it's being repeated at 11:0 p.m. this Friday, and again at 11:0 a.m. and 8:00 p.m. this Saturday. New episodes will air at 7:00 p.m. on Monday, June 18 and June 25.

*I have no idea why the online version of the article is entitled "Star Telegram less than glowing in its review of KOSA/TV Guide reality show," as I found the column to be quite positive on the whole. The headline on the print edition was much less judgmental: "Reality series goes behind scenes at local TV station."

DWTS: The Final Four

Now that Billy Ray "Sanjaya" Cyrus has mercifully been axed from Dancing with the Stars, we need to assess the chances of the remaining four competitors.

When I last handicapped the field, there were nine contestants, and I managed to get the final four right (which, admittedly, wasn't rocket science). However, I never dreamed that someone as truly and resolutely awful as Cyrus would survive this long. The fact that he did demonstrates (1) the power of fan voting and (B) the inability of said fans to recognize and/or care about dancing talent.

Nevertheless, we're now where we should be, with the four best dancers remaining. Here's my prediction of the final outcome based solely on my assessment of their skill:

4. Laila Ali
3. Joey Fatone
2. Ian Ziering
1. Apolo Anton Ohno

And here's my prediction of the results considering the enigmatic "fan factor":

4. Joey Fatone - Face it; the guy's annoying. His self-effacing humor was an asset in the beginning, but the strain of maintaining it is beginning to show.


3. Laila Ali - Ali's disadvantaged by her gender. I don't think there are enough female boxing fans to keep her going, and while having her almost universally loved dad on Monday's show was a brilliant move, it won't work every week.


2. Ian Ziering - Ziering is wound tighter than Cheryl Burke's costumes, but the loyalty of BH90210 fans is apparently boundless. Fortunately, he's a talented dancer (and has been held to a higher standard by the judges than anyone else, in my opinion).


1. Apolo Anton Ohno - Despite needing to use three names to distinguish himself from all the other Apolo Onhos out there, this guy is the surprise of the season. He gets better each week, and he and his partner are a publicist's dream. Need further proof? MLB is rooting for them.

As for me, I'm waiting for Jimmy Kimmel and Guillermo to be actual contestants next year. Last night's bit with Master P invoked serious paroxysms of hilarity (whatever that means) in our living room.

Feel free to dispute my predictions, or the shoddy reasoning behind them.

"Dancing With the Stars": Handicapping the Field

Note: The following post may seem to edge dangerously close to obsessive. So be it. At least I'm not writing about something truly trivial, like, say, baseball.

We're a couple of weeks into ABC's Dancing With the Stars and it's time for me to weigh in with my observations and predictions. With almost two years of ballroom lessons under my belt, I feel I'm well qualified to recognize bad dancing when I see it, because I've seen a lot of it -- primarily on the videos of our lessons.

Two contestants have been voted off the show: alleged supermodel Paulina Poriskova and the wearyingly bubbly game show hostess, Shandi Finnessey. The fact that the shambling Clyde Drexler and the soporific Billy Ray Cyrus are still in the competition proves my pet theory about the show: it's a man's contest. Or, put another way, the female viewership vote is such that a woman will have to clearly outshine all male competitors to win. There's only one woman in this year's cast with the potential for doing that.

Here's my seeding for the next nine weeks of DWTS, from bottom to top (and please note that these are my predictions, not my preferences):

9. Clyde "The Glide" Drexler -- Clyde's no Emmitt Smith, and while the voters offset some of the harshest words from the judges we've heard to date, his fan base won't keep him on the court, uh, dance floor another week.


8. Leeza Gibbons -- Placing a [non-permanent] "Tramp" tattoo above her left breast in order to channel her inner rebel may have come across as saucy and edgy to some, but my general reaction was more akin to ewwww. She's a better dancer than the next two guys, but not good enough to overcome the gender gap.


7. Billy Ray Cyrus -- Billy Ray continues to do penance [all the way to the bank] for the unpardonable sin of performing a country song with mass commercial appeal, and because of that, I'd be happy to see him continue. But he's the Master P of this year's competition, and doesn't exhibit enough charisma to counter his lack of footwork.


6. John Ratzenberger -- The likable Cheers star is the token AARP rep, ala Jerry Springer last year and George Hamilton before that. He'll get some slack cut for old times' sake, and he's got the acting ability to sell the choreography, but the legs just aren't there to keep him in the show.


5. Heather Mills -- Heather has been a pleasant surprise to me, not for her dancing as much as for the way she seems to be truly enjoying the experience. She's more likable than I expected. Her partner is doing an amazing job of choreographing steps that minimize the impact of her prosthetic leg, using basic misdirection to allow a cooperative audience to happily ignore one unfortunate fact: she's just not that good as a dancer. And, despite assurances to the contrary at the beginning, it's difficult to believe that she's being judged with the same criteria as the top competitors. Nevertheless, her example is truly inspirational and a fifth place showing will be a non-trivial accomplishment.


4. Laila Ali -- Laila is, as everyone knows, Muhammed Ali's daughter, and a world champion boxer. She has her dad's moves, athleticism, and charisma -- but she's also got his mercurial temperament, and does not appear to suffer fools or losing lightly. That intensity works for her in the ring, but not so much in the eyes of the voting audience. If she'll soften her demeanor a bit, and loosen up on the floor, she could do better than I predict; she's got the talent to pull it off. Her main disadvantage is that she's a woman, and she'll have a hard time disguising that with choreography. [Now, here's the probably controversial sleeper factor: she's got that "Jennifer Hudson" build, and I'm sure there's a sizable segment of the female voters who can relate to and pull for her more than for some of her preternaturally skinny competitors.]


3. Ian Ziering -- I'd never heard of Ian before this show, and the fact that his name is pronounced "eye-ann" doesn't help his cause. But if this was just about the dancing, Ian would win, hands-down. He's likable, self-effacing, charming, and has the best moves. How can I say that? He's the only competitor whose minor mistake in the last dance was obvious enough to be (1) pointed out by the judges, (2) spotlighted on the show, and (3) recognized as it occurred by me. And how, you ask, does such an obvious mistake illustrate his superiority? Fair question, and it's simply because all the others had performances that were uniformly lackluster, such that their mistakes got lost in the shuffle. Unfortunately for Ian, this is not all about the dancing. [Wild card: Ian's paired with Cheryl Burke, who's won this contest twice in a row.]


2. Apolo Anton Ohno -- The Olympic gold medal speed skater is a fine athlete, and his sport's required skills -- balance and quick feet -- translate directly to the dance floor. His personality is more endearing than the somber focused shots from the Olympics would indicate. He's also drawn the perfect partner, first-time DWTSer Julianne Hough, whose youth and energy match well with Ohno's. Whether he can channel his athleticism into the necessary controlled precision remains to be seen, but the pair certainly can captivate when they're "on." I sense huge voter support from the under-21 crowd.


1. Joey Fatone -- Despite having, to paraphrase British judge Len Goodman, a "bum that sticks out there," former boy band member Fatone has the stage training and presence to win the whole thing. It's hard to figure out why he's allowed to compete with untrained dancers; just because he's never danced a traditional tango, for instance, doesn't make him any less a trained hoofer. You think that tight choreography displayed by NSYNC doesn't carry over to ballroom? Guess again. Anyway, next to Ian, he's got the best moves, and his fan base is off the chart. And it's not hurting him that he's paired with the stunning Aussie, Kym Johnson, who paid her dues last season as Jerry Springer's partner (and carried him to a much undeserved fifth place).

Now, given my woeful performance predicting outcomes in the NCAA men's basketball tournament, I wouldn't advise mortgaging the house to lay a big bet on any of the preceding prognostications.

Posted by Eric at 06:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)

Dancing With the...Heidi?

Update: OK, our local station is off the hook. Based on a comment left on this post, and confirmed by this report, it was the network's problem that disrupted the conclusion of last night's program. The preceding link has a video of the show's ending, if you can't live without it.

Do you remember the infamous "Heidi Super Bowl," the one in 1968 where NBC deemed it more important to cut to the beginning of that movie than to show the last minute of the big game, thereby depriving millions of viewers the chance to see one of the great comebacks in sports history? It even warrants its own entry in Wikipedia.

Well, our local ABC affiliate put forth its version of that fiasco on Tuesday night when it chose to run back-to-back commercials touting its new Sunday night newscast instead of the climactic announcement of the first couple to be kicked out of Dancing With the Stars. Goofy Czech model Paulina Porizkova (motto: "If it's not polka, it's not dancing") was the worthy recipient of the boot, but the only way we knew that was to intuit from her weepy demeanor as the ending credits rolled. I'd really like to blame the network for this, but until someone weighs in here from KMID, I can't.

Speaking of DWTS, the fact that Billy Ray Cyrus survived is an indication that guys have a built in advantage due to the predominantly female viewing (and voting) base. The only chick who stands a chance of winning this season is Laila Ali, and she'll do so only by being significantly better than anyone else (which, by the way, she has been up to this point).

Evolving Television

I've somehow managed to misplace my subscription to Variety for, oh, about fifty years, so I missed this article describing ABC's plans to make a TV sitcom based on the merry antics of the Geico cavemen. Although there's many a slip 'twixt pilot and series, the idea seems just quirky enough to work.

Slate has a good analysis of the potential transition from advertising characters to TV stars. The article also has a link to CavemensCrib.com, a slow-loading Flash site that lets you snoop around in the Ikea-inspired apartment of those crustily comic Cro-Magnons. If you have the patience, you can eavesdrop on their voicemail, follow a refrigerator magnet-based argument in Esperanto, tinker with their iPod, and even view their NCAA basketball brackets (the latter proving the cavemen still have a thing or two to learn about evolution, as they picked Louisville to beat A&M and UT to make the Sweet 16).

Frankly, I'm not sure the cavemen series has legs as a ad campaign, much less a TV series. But I'm willing to give it a chance. I'll go along with anything that occupies a slot that might otherwise go to another lame reality show.

Although I can't imagine why one would want one when there's a perfectly good store for buying Fire Ant Gazette cra...uh...merchandise, you can buy caveman t-shirts and bumper stickers at the Geico Store.

Super Bowl at Church? Not so fast, bucko...

I made reference yesterday to our church's plans to broadcast the Super Bowl as a part of a fellowship that will substitute for the regular Sunday evening worship service.

Not everyone agrees that this is a good idea, and apparently the NFL is one of them. The league is warning churches not to violate its rules concerning broadcasts of the game to which it owns the copyright.

From the above-linked article:

Many churches are canceling their "Super Bowl Fellowship" plans, but not every congregation is rolling over:

[Sidenote: There's something amusing about hearing the pastor of one of the largest evangelical churches in America use the term "wack."]

For its part, the NFL isn't sending goon squads to comb the neighborhoods in search of offenders. NFL spokesman McCarthy said the NFL won't be patrolling churches for violations. But from a strict legal perspective, that could prove problematic for the NFL down the road in terms of copyright protection. Letting things like this slide is not a good precedent for claiming later on that the value of your copyright has been damaged.

I'm not inclined to take sides on this argument, but I will make a couple of observations. It would seem to me that churches should be beyond reproach in all areas of their actions, and if the owner of a copyright (or any other asset) protests about the use of that asset by a third party, it seems inappropriate to push back.

And with respect to our own church's plans, I fully understand why the NFL -- and its sponsors -- might be less than happy with the thought that the game will be broadcast minus commercials, very expensive commercials that the NFL's clients paid for with the express understanding that those commercials would be broadcast as a part of the game. There's nothing that says the viewers have to watch those commercials, but editing them out of a live broadcast so that they can't be seen is pushing the envelope.

Issues like this are probably why we're implored to be in the world without being of the world.

Desert Island Meme, Part 2: TV

Our recent "Desert Island DVDs by Genre" list seemed to elicit fewer yawns than usual, which has emboldened me to put forth a memequel. This one's similar to the first, except instead of movies, you get to pick boxed sets of television programs to accompany you on your island getaway. However, you still have to stick with the genres. (Don't gripe at me; I don't make the rules. OK, I do make the rules, but I don't know what I'm doing.)

Here's my list (and I've tried to stick with broadcast shows; no offense to you premium cable subscribers):

• Western - Rawhide (I toyed with Gunsmoke for a moment, but just couldn't take the thought of being alone with Chester for all that time. At the same time, Maverick was a strong contender.)


• Horror - Twilight Zone (The horror genre is underserved on broadcast TV, but as a mere youth, some of the TZ eps gave me nightmares, so it qualifies.)


• Sci-Fi - X-Files (I never enjoyed the government conspiracy episodes, but there were enough creature features to more than make it worthwhile.)


• Musical - American Bandstand (I still remember being inspired by Blue Cheer and their wall of amps.)


• Comedy - The Dick Van Dyke Show (Not only funny, but a great series of snapshots from a culture that changed America in many ways.)


• Police/Crime/Courtroom Drama - Boomtown (Smart and edgy, this could have been the best police series in history, if NBC hadn't given up so quickly.)


• Medical Drama - M.A.S.H. (It's my list, and I don't have to choose E.R. if I don't want to. And I've never watched House.)


• Foreign - Fawlty Towers (Consistently hysterical, especially the occasional attempts at American accents.)


• Variety - The Ed Sullivan Show (Two words: Topo Gigio!)


• Mini-Series - Shogun (How can you not pick the show that made konichiwa and domo arigato a part of mainstream American vocabulary?)


• Bonus Pick (any genre) - Seinfeld (The Dick Van Dyke Show for the 90s.)

Eating Crow

I admit it -- I was surprised that Emmitt Smith pulled off the upset and won Dancing With the Stars. I'm happy for him, because he didn't have the same raw talent as the other finalist, Mario Lopez, but I also feel a bit sorry for Mario because, frankly, he's a more accomplished dancer. Emmitt had the popular vote, though (those teenaged girls didn't come through for Lopez after all!).

He's a classy guy and still an able athlete, but his real edge was his partner, Cheryl Burke, who has now won the last two DWTS competitions. She was much more personable than Mario's professional partner, Karina Smirnoff. At some point, DWTS becomes a popularity contest, and personalities make a big difference.

So, hats off to Emmitt. I apologize for not being able to prognosticate any better than I can dance...but I can get better at the latter. I think I'll give up on the former.

Local Station "Bugging" Me

I'm getting increasingly annoyed by our local NBC-TV affiliate (sorry, Jeff), which for some reason has decided that viewers of shows like The Office also want to know what breaking news will be coming up on the 10 p.m. broadcast. The random headlines at the bottom of the screen are distracting and, for me, useless. The only influence they'll have over my decision to watch the late news is probably not the one they hoped for.

It's taken a few years to get accustomed to the semi-opaque "bugs" (or DOGs -- digital on-screen graphics) that keep the networks' logos permanently in front of us, and some of the cable channels have started periodically running animated mini-trailers for their hit shows in one or both corners of the screen.

For some reason, relevance seems to matter. Running a sitcom teaser on top of another sitcom is OK (relatively speaking), but running a news teaser on top of the sitcom is just distracting, especially when the story being touted is hardly "stop the presses" material.

Ninety-nine cent downloads from the iTunes Store are looking better all the time.

Katie's Amazing Inverted TV Effect

Everyone's heard by now of the digital airbrushing applied to Katie Couric's photo by the CBS Department of Photographic Alteration and Agenda Advancement, and the overwhelming reaction is one of yawning non-surprise. But until now, I had not seen the before and after photos.

Most of the focus has been on the narrowing of Ms. Couric's waistline and hips, but the makeover seems to be much more, um, widespread. Compare her face and neck, for example, in those photos.

Fortunately, we can still rest comfortably in the knowledge that TV news is all about accuracy and objectivity, not cosmetics.

Tip o'the hat to the prolific Isaac Schroëdinger, whose post also reminds us that the MSM's airbrush goes right as well as left.

The Outlaw 92.5 Update: No Chicks Allowed?

I've been streaming The Outlaw 92.5, an alternative country music radio station originating in San Antonio (and first discussed here), for about six hours during mindless Photoshopping and web maintenance work over the last couple of days, and while it's occasionally amusing, periodically entertaining, and generally harmless, I have just one question: where are the women?

In those six hours of listening, I have heard zero-zip-nada-no songs by a female artist. What's up with that? Are there no "musical outlaws" of the distaff persuasion in Texas? I guess Gretchen Wilson (for example) is too much of a Nashville Yankee to qualify.

That's pretty lame, when you think about it.

On the other hand, by my scientific measurement and analysis, 84% of the songs mentioned drinking beer until senseless, so it's got that going for it.

Update: In the interest of providing fair and balanced reporting, I need to let you know that only 80 minutes after this post, the station played "Something The Doctor Didn't Order" by Bonnie Bishop. It was quite excellent, by the way.

Technorati tags: 92.5 The Outlaw | KRPT-FM Radio

Sunday Sloth

I'm way too busy to be writing this. I'm working on four new websites, and my existing clients have requested massive amounts of updates via every conceivable method of delivery, including email, FTP, hand-delivery, and USPS. One client just dropped off nine (9!) CDs of updates. If the Pony Express still ran, I've no doubt they'd be galloping by and throwing leather satchels full of disks onto my front porch.

In addition, the lawn needs mowing, the floor vacuuming, and the clothes launding. Laundrying. Laundering.

Faced with this unmanageable array of responsibilities yesterday afternoon, I had no choice but to resort to the time-honored strategy perfected by American males everywhere, planted myself in the recliner, and watched seven consecutive hours of westerns on TV.

AMC was running a cowboy movie marathon leading up to the premier of its much-ballyhooed (well, by AMC, anyway) "original movie event," Broken Trail, which stars Robert Duvall and Thomas Haden Church. I turned on the tube in time to catch the final extended gun battle in Open Range (more Robert Duvall, plus Kevin Costner, but it's a fine movie anyway), followed by Viggo in Hidalgo, which I'd somehow never seen (and I remain perplexed by the irony that a culture that so reveres horses would subject them to such a punishing event as a 3,000 mile race across the desert).

The evening concluded with the first half of Broken Trail (I'd provide a link but the website is one of those extraordinarily inconsiderate ones that has the audacity to automatically resize your browser window, and not being content with having taken control of your desktop, it then freezes your browser so as to prevent anything else from occurring, including the completion of the first draft of this post), which is formulaic and features Robert Duvall playing Robert Duvall, a role for which he's eminently qualified and which isn't an unpleasant prospect for the viewer but, really, it's been done before with much better scripts. Still, one Duvall is worth a dozen Costners, and Haden Church makes a remarkably effective cowpoke who knows the value of a good rope.

I mentioned the script, and I'm perhaps overly harsh with it. It really does have some scenes of ranch life that you likely haven't seen before. The opening sequence involving the "cutting" of calves will perplex some city slickers, and the scene where Duvall's character gets hold of a box of "therapeutic papers" ("guaranteed to be free of wood chips and splinters") is an old west vignette not often portrayed in film. Anyway, part two is tonight, and I plan to watch it.

But, until then, I'm really too busy to do anything else, including blog.

A Stinker of Mammoth Proportions

OK, I'll admit I'm jumping to conclusions with the post title, as I've tuned in midway to the premier broadcast of Mammoth on the Sci Fi Channel. But after seven minutes, it's not looking good.

The movie is apparently about a mammoth (d'oh) that has somehow returned to life and is now wreaking havoc.

Most of the SFC's "original programming" movies are so bad as to be nearly compelling (Sabretooth comes quickly to mind). The intriguing thing is how they get name-brand actors to appear in these things. For example, Tom Skerritt and Summer Glau (of Serenity fame) are in Mammoth.

Well, another ten minutes have sped by, and it's obvious this one's being played for laughs, which is not a bad strategy. Summer Glau just referred to the "zombie soul sucking effect" of a disembodied hand, which should count for something.

However, up to now, there's been no appearance of the beast, a distinct shortcoming in a movie purportedly about a mammoth.

Grey's Anatomy - Much ado about nothing?

So a guy's laying on the operating table with a live bazooka round in his belly (don't ask). It's not a nuclear warhead, folks. You don't evacuate an entire multi-floor hospital for that.

Do you?

Well, it seems a bit overly dramatic to me, anyway.

I think it would be scarier if they found Howard Dean in his belly, but that's just me.

"3rd Rock" Rocks

So I'm watching the boxed set of the first season of "3rd Rock from the Sun" and I'm having a hard time staying on the treadmill, I'm laughing so hard at John Lithgow, French Stewart and Kristen Johnston. I know the show suffered the inevitable decline in quality as it ran its course, but the early episodes were some of the funniest stuff in the history of TV. It's easy to forget that John Lithgow is a comic genius, when cast in the properly ridiculous role (like his current soup commercials, for example...oh, that's not comedy, is it?).

But there's historical significance, as well. For example, it's hard to argue that a certain someone who now holds a very important office in the federal government wasn't doing a little moonlighting back in '96, as proven by this indisputable photographic evidence:

Sure, she'd have you believe that her name was actually "Simbi Khali," but that's such an obviously made-up name, and really just too close to what we now know is her true name. You'd think she'd at least have changed her 'do.

Anyway, that's neither here nor there. We all have things in our past we'd like to forget. "3rd Rock" shouldn't be one of them if you're a fan of inane TV comedies.

Bonus question: This episode is the one where Dick learns to smoke and gets trapped in the stairwell, and ends up reciting poetry and arguing with a sock puppet over that poetry's origin. It's also notable because of the complete absence of one of the primary characters in the series. Who never appeared in this episode?

Newsflash: NBC Still Clueless

NBC apparently decided that the recently canceled "The Book of Daniel" wasn't "edgy" enough for its Christian viewership, so they're going to try this approach.

Obviously I've not seen this episode of "Will and Grace" (a show that's not on my watch list anyway), but from reading the description I'm at a loss to adequately quantify the number of ways this could turn out badly for the network.

I'm also at a loss as to how to tag this post. There actually are some visits I'd just soon not get.

"The Book of Daniel"

If you, like me, didn't catch the premier of the "controversial" new NBC-TV show The Book of Daniel, and also, like me, were treated to a number of negative reviews which, ironically, came from people who also didn't see the show, you might want to see what Deb -- who did see the show -- thought about it.

Technorati tags: The Book of Daniel

Clearing the Fog[horn]

Earlier this year, I wrote a post about a TV program from my childhood -- the Admiral Foghorn Show -- and it struck a chord with a number of local folks who also had fond memories of the show and its characters.

The discussion in the comments of that post raised questions about where the program was produced, although the consensus was that it was a local broadcast.

In one of those wonderful examples of how the net has occasionally made the world into a neighborhood, I just received an email that I believe provides the definitive answer to all the questions, as it comes from the Admiral himself (aka Paul Archinal...whose name I wouldn't have recalled unassisted in a million years, but which absolutely rings true now that I see it again, for the first time in decades):

I'm trying to get some additional information from Paul about his time in west Texas but haven't yet received a response.

Technorati tags: Admiral Foghorn | Paul Archinal

Cable a la Carte

Update: R. Alex Whitlock has a different perspective on the issue of a la carte cable. His feeling that this approach will likely not drop prices has some merit, although I think this is more than just an issue of pricing...it's also about the ability to better control the media content that comes into your home.

It's not surprising that the cable TV industry is pushing back against the FCC report proposing that consumers will be better served if they have the ability to purchase programming by the channel, rather than via the big multi-channel packages now offered.

The arguments I've seen against the proposal all center around concerns of "breaking the current economic model," as if that was a bad thing. Those arguments are simply another indication of the intense desire of yet another mainstream media outlet to tell consumers what's good for them, rather than the other way around. And like the newsprint, music, movie and broadcast TV industries, fighting against these changes will only delay the inevitable.

It's ironic, really, in that cable TV broke the stranglehold that its broadcast cousins had on the viewing public by offering more choices. Yet, now that a proposal to enhance the usefulness of those choices is being put forth, cable is screaming bloody murder.

Obviously, the cable operators sense an impending drop in revenues, both from lower subscription rates as well as from falling advertising income as advertisers pull back from the less popular channels. An informal poll in today's Wall Street Journal shows that 51% of responders would subscribe to 10-24 channels, 22% to fewer than 10 and only 5% would pay for more than 50 channels.

Another argument against the a la carte approach is that smaller networks won't survive. Apparently, many of those niche programmers are in business only because they're riding the coattails of channels that people actually want to watch. Here again, this argument seems to be a rejection of the basic notion that people ought to be able to vote with their pocketbooks. If no one wants to pay to watch a particular cable channel, that's a pretty good indication that its business or programming model is flawed and it should have never been launched in the first place.

The only problem I have with the a la carte proposal is that it's being pushed as a mandate by the federal government, which generally means that it will end up being badly implemented. What we really need is for one cable operator to step up and embrace what will ultimately be the wave of the future and thereby put pressure on the rest of the industry to follow. I'm not holding my breath.

Technorati tags: Cable TV | a la carte Cable Programming

KMID-TV Kisses Off Grande?

Update (11/18/05): According to this article in today's Midland Reporter-Telegram, the KMID and Grande have "reached an agreement" and ABC's local programming will not be pulled from the cable's lineup. Terms of the agreement were not disclosed.

Does anyone really believe that the local ABC affiliate, KMID-TV, is going to withdraw its programming from the Grande Communications cable network in west Texas on December 31? I know; they say they're going to do it, calling it Grande's decision in electing not to pay the station 30¢ per subscriber. Of course, Grande provides a different perspective on the dustup (link is to a PDF document), including the following:

Gee, doesn't this sound familiar? Oh, now I remember. It was three years ago that KMID threatened to pull its programming from the other cable provider in the area, Cox Communications. Guess what? There was never any disruption of service.

All the same arguments I put forth back then still seem to apply. Of course, Grande's subscriber base is smaller than Cox's (I couldn't find any actual numbers to quantify the difference) but the real winners if this parting actually occurs will be the other three local stations, and, possibly, Cox itself. It's not beyond the realm of possibility that some people would rather switch cable companies than lose access to ABC programming; the network had four of the top ten shows (and three of the top five) in the last Nielsen survey.

Of course, the losers are the same schmoes that take it on the chin every time: the customers...you and me. Although, now that I think about it, removing easy access to "Desperate Housewives" from a few thousand homes each week might not be such a bad thing after all.

I predict this will get settled before December 31. If not, look for violence to potentially take place on January 4, 2006.

Technorati tags: Grande Communications | KMID-TV

Late Night TV Guest RSS Feeds

I'm lucky if I can stay awake past [fill in the blank]'s opening monologue (or, perhaps, that's really a blessing), but if I was a true late night talk show junkie, I'd go to this page, drag a bunch of RSS feeds to my newsreader and always know in advance who was going to appear.

Tip of the remote to A Whole Lotta Nothing

Technorati tag: Really Need to Get a Life

Ad Earworm

The weather this morning was perfect for a bike ride, so I headed out to blithely focus on nothing but the cool weather, some potential post topics and... floxie-noxie-pillification.

Ahem.

As I was saying, I was looking forward to the luxury of 60 minutes to simply think about topics like the unfortunate new TV series set in Iraq, the lame column slamming the president for being in shape and...floxie-noxie-pillification.

#$%@! Floxie-noxie-pillification.

OK. Out with it. Have you seen that insurance company commercial that touts the simplicity of the company's website, and uses a ridiculously complicated made-up word in a fictitious spelling bee to make the point? That word -- which I can't spell because it contains a variety of double Cs and AUs and PHs -- is pronounced "floxie-noxie-pillification," and I can't get it out of my head! I'd really appreciate it if you'd take it off my mind; feel free to pass it along to someone else when you tire of it.

The irony is that while I can remember the stupid word, I cannot recall which insurance company is making the pitch. Perhaps there's a lesson there for advertising firms: it is possible to be too clever for your client's good.

Regardless, I simply want to leave you with this: floxie-noxie-pillification.

Update: Charles over at Dustbury.com devotes a post to my lack of spelling and pronunciation skillz. To which I reply, "oh yeah?" And, further, "floxie-noxie-pillification."

Technorati tags: Earworms | Floxie-Noxie-Pillifiation

Planting Gardens for Alien Children

I saw a segment on The Weather Channel* this morning on planting a "pizza garden." This is a small circular garden that you're supposed to enlist your children to help plant, maintain and harvest. It's called a pizza garden because you're supposed to plant -- are you ready for this? -- "the vegetables that you and your children like on your pizza. Vegetables like tomatos, peppers, onions, squash and broccoli are favorites."

Favorites for whom?! I'm a semi-grown adult and I wouldn't voluntarily venture within a block of a pizza that was topped with squash. Do you know any child who will eat broccoli pizza? I don't. In fact, unless pepperoni is harvested from bushes, the kids I know run screaming from pizza containing any vegetables. (Pizza sauce doesn't count as a vegetable, governmental edicts notwithstanding.) Getting your child to willingly cooperate with this kind of pizza garden is about as likely as Howard Dean including the Westminster Confession of Faith in the next Democratic presidential campaign platform.

The Weather Channel needs to start getting its programming from somewhere other than Marin County, CA.

*Yes, I frequently watch TWC. Most of the time, questionable gardening tips aside, it's the only thing worth watching on TV.

Technorati tag: Pizza Garden

Idol Speculation

Joel Achenbach puts the Paula Abdul/Corey Clark non-story into a proper perspective:

He then goes on to focus on the real issue, one that gets a lot of talk but not much action:

Joel later reveals (in the comments) that he's not really watching "American Idol"; he's just occasionally passing through the room where his kids are watching it. He seems suspiciously well informed for that to be the case, although it really does take only a second or two of exposure to Seacrest to come a similar conclusion.

But, really, I wouldn't know. I see the show only while passing through the room...

Technorati tag: American Idol

And another thing...

I also want to know, with respect to the Sonic Drive-In commercial mentioned below, why the people are sitting in their parked car, eating their salads with "meat-based dressing" (how appetizing is that, btw?), and wearing their seatbelts?

My guess is that the director had to strap 'em in to make 'em say those lines.

Random TV Questions

The following questions have been accumulating like dryer lint, gradually but effectively blocking my normal cognitive processes...and, believe me, I don't need any additional challenges in this area. Thus, I pose them to you as a way of cleaning the trap.

• Where would today's crime-related dramas get their ideas if they couldn't use DNA as a crutch? Makes you wonder how Perry Mason ever solved a single stinkin' crime.


• What was Sonic's ad agency thinking when they replaced the two Mormon guys with the new husband-and-wife (apparently) spokescouple? The guy is unctuously mindless in a way that allows jurors to righteously consider justifiable homicide as a defense, and the woman obviously can't wait to kill her agent for booking this lame gig. Surely Sonic's marketing strategy isn't designed to generate such murderous thoughts in its customers, but these are strange days we're living in.


• Speaking of strange days, we missed the premier of NBC's "Revelations" on Wednesday night, but caught it on the rebound via CNBC last night. It wasn't so bad as to be painful (other than the unfortunate timing of having a sub-plot involving the decision to pull the plug on a child in a "persistent vegetative state" and who, unfortunately for the ACLU-types, kept showing annoying signs of life) but that might have been an improvement over the general reaction of "huh?" If this "limited series" is really supposed to be a dramatization of the end-times prophecies documented in the Book of Revelation (note to TV producers: the Bible book's name isn't pluralized, but I'm sure you know that), the writers might want to actually, you know, read the book. Because as far as I could tell, they went to BibleGateway.com and pulled a dozen scriptures at random for "atmosphere" and called it a day. I have no idea who the target audience is, but perhaps anyone who thinks "The DaVinci Code" is a scholarly work will also be edified by "Revelations."

New DVD Release

Go ahead...tell me you can live without this. I don't believe you.

The Grammys: Purple Haze

I didn't watch the Grammys last Sunday night. Most awards shows rarely have any surprises, and the decades-long trend toward politicizing them shows no signs of letting up. But after reading this analysis in the WaPo, I wish I'd seen it (or at least taped it for later viewing).

Setting aside the author's Grammy-derived advice to the Democratic Party, he makes some accurate observations about how we may have a lot more in common, whether "red-staters" or "blue-staters," than we might otherwise think.

Read the whole thing. The only quibble I'd have with the article is the author's failure to acknowledge that the Grammy-winning opening act, Los Lonely Boys, hails from west Texas (San Angelo to be exact), and that Jamie Foxx was born in Terrell, Texas.

Tip o'the hat to Joel Achenbach.

E.R.'s tired Christian stereotypes

Tonight's episode of "E.R." was entitled "Just As I Am," and it featured the first singing of that famous hymn that I've ever heard on a network TV drama. Unfortunately -- but not unsurprisingly -- it was used to set up yet another episode where an explicitly Christian character is revealed to be the usual judgmental, hypocritical bigot for not accepting a sinful lifestyle as a perfectly logical part of God's plan for creation. Imagine that.

The use of "Just As I Am" as an episode title is particularly maddening considering the full lyrics of the hymn (which, of course, were not sung) and their real message. Here's one of the unsung stanzas:

The E.R. writers thought it would be clever to use the hymn title as a message that God -- and by extension other humans -- should be willing to accept someone for "who they are," which is code for "the choices they've made." It doesn't matter whether those choices run counter to God's will or His holiness.

In reality, the hymn speaks of being totally broken before God, coming to Him with the full knowledge of one's sin and shortcoming, and counting on God's grace which has been promised to those who will repent of that willful sin. The use of the hymn by E.R. to put forth a message of "tolerance" was, in fact, a complete perversion of the hymnwriter's original intent.

NBC has once more shown that it not only doesn't understand Christianity, it has no desire to do so.

Technorati tag: Christianity

Super Bowl Commercial Wrapup

Everyone's dissected yesterday's Super Bowl commercials ad nauseum, but that won't stop me from piling on. The main impression they left was one of, well, insignificance. Perhaps the threat of FTC fines and sanctions had advertisers walking on eggshells to the point of completely losing their creative edges, but I'm going to accuse them of just copping out and using that as an excuse.

Note: All the ads can be viewed via iFilm's website.

Commercials don't have to be R-rated or in poor taste to be effective and memorable. There were at least two examples of that yesterday, with each coming in at the opposite end of the spectrum.

FedEx scored big with its spoof of the "ultimate Super Bowl commercial," wherein it listed the ten factors that make a great SB spot, and then attempting to put all ten into one ad. OK, so one factor was a "groin kick" (carried out by a dancing bear on Burt Reynolds and therefore it was completely forgivable) and another was "attractive females" (but the cheerleaders were quite modest). What made the commercial for me, however, was the item "Product Message," followed by "Optional" in parentheses. I like that sort of self-effacing approach (especially when contrasted with the overly-dramatic and proud offerings by most car manufacturers, Cadillac being Exhibit A).

At the other end of the spectrum was Anheuser-Busch's tribute to soldiers walking through the terminal of an airport and attracting spontaneous and increasing applause from bystanders and airport employees. I couldn't tell if the soldiers were leaving or departing, but it didn't matter. The message of gratitude was clear and moving.

In both of these instances, the ads had nothing to do with the companies' products, but they still managed to make a brand-specific impression.

Of course, the biggest buzz and, I suspect, educational success was achieved by GoDaddy.com with its spoof of the very thing that scared off the other advertisers: a presumed Congressional hearing into the appropriateness of broadcast material. The GoDaddy rep in the ad, a quite healthy young woman, suffered a "wardrobe malfunction" during the hearing, but carried on bravely in the recitation of GoDaddy's product offering. Fox News reported this morning that the ad that was shown was actually the third take (although CNN reports only two takes), with the first two not making through the vetting process for broadcast appropriateness. The final version was designed to look more dangerous than it really was; the commercial was actually more tame than some of the sideline shots of cheerleaders during the game itself. But I have no doubt that GoDaddy had a huge amount of traffic to its website (where the commercial could be downloaded) and many of those who visited it had never before heard of the company or what it offers. Now, whether any of those visits turn into paying customers is another issue.

Johnny Carson - A class act

It's hard to believe that Johnny Carson is dead. Even though he hosted his last Tonight Show back in 1992, he, like Bob Hope, was a guy you felt would be around forever.

And, like Hope, Carson was a class act...a term that some of his successors don't understand, much less deserve. You can argue all you want about how our society is so much more sophisticated today and that humor from Carson's era is simply too adolescent to "work" anymore, but I defy you to watch tapes of his shows without collapsing in laughter. His humor was never cruel, rarely tasteless or crude (especially when compared to what Leno and SNL and their ilk stoop to for laughter) and yet was just as insightful as anything our more "enlightened" and "sophisticated" comics can dish up.

Watch for great wailing and gnashing of teeth from Hollywood over the loss of a guy who, frankly, could have done without them. Those who've really lost are the regular TV viewers of America, in more ways than one.

HDTV Coming! Celebs Run Scared!

We blogged about this almost a year ago, but it's back in the news: the inevitable penetration of HDTV broadcasts has some interesting implications for television actors and actresses. OnHD.tv takes a brutally honest look at those celebs who will benefit the most from HDTV exposure, and those who will (or should) run away screaming before the audience does.

According to them, those who will benefit the most include Anna Kournikova, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Halle Berry, George Clooney and Liv Tyler. Lesson? Those who already have it just get more.

On the flip side, those whose inherent flaws will just be more noticeable include Cameron Diaz ("has had a terrible acne problem since high school"), Britney Spears ("looks 10 years older in hi-def"), Brad Pitt ("terrible skin problem in high school"), Renee Zellweger ("her cheeks look like she's had a Rosacea
problem; very visible in high-def"), and Joan Rivers...like we needed HDTV to tell us that.

Of course, many on the latter list make very infrequent TV appearances anyway (Rivers being the unfortunate exception; Bill Mahrer is also on the list), so they might just decide that discretion is the better part of valor and stay away from the TV cameras. Others will rely heavily on the magic of make-up, even more so than they do now.

The real victims of t