Recently in Ballroom Dance Category

Remember this post, where I linked to a video that compressed our 22 mile bike ride into 11 minutes? I've done the same thing with a recent lesson - a tango lesson, to be exact. As we all know, the tango is a serious, sensuous, sophisticated, sultry sort of step. I think I've captured that essence quite well in the following clip. You'll never again be able to watch True Lies with quite the same perspective.

It's been several days and I'm still stewing about the final results from Dancing With The Stars. The fact that Chelsea Kane, by far the best dancer on the show this season, didn't even make the top two is astounding to begin with, but to think that she was beaten by Kirstie Alley, who was perhaps the 6th or 7th best dancer of the bunch takes the cake. (And we're not making any jokes about Kirstie eating it, because she really did do a great job in getting in shape and losing weight during the course of the season. I'll grant her that much.)

Today's newspaper ran this AP story under the headline, "Mutant pointy boots create a craze." When I first saw the headline, I thought, "well, so what's new? I've seen lots of pointy boots on the dance floor, at country dances."

Last year, I made the mistake of predicting the outcome of Dancing With The Stars before watching any of the competitors. That was a disaster of epic, Charlie-Sheen-as-a-babysitter proportions. However, after the first viewing, my revised handicapping was pretty darned good, if I do say so myself (and I must, because no one else will). I picked Jennifer Gray, Kyle Massey, and Brandi Norwood to finish in the top three, and nailed two of them. Would have been three, but who could have predicted the Bristol Palin juggernaut?

One side effect of learning to dance has been that our social adventures have expanded significantly. So it was that we found ourselves in a local bar last Friday evening, surrounded by curious patrons, and listening to instructions in Spanish.

I made a couple of jesting comments on Facebook and Twitter about this article describing the first documented case of something called beat deafness, wherein a man named Mathieu "can't feel music's beat or move in time with it." But it's a bigger problem than those researchers probably realize.

Alert readers (and I know that includes all of you, because you don't let me get away with anything) will recall that our dance last Saturday night featured something different, something that to my knowledge had never been tried in the 20 year history of the Ballroom Dance Society: prerecorded music in place of a live band.
We created this "band" from foam board, and set it up on the Midland Country Club stage with the sound equipment (basically an amp and an iPad) hidden behind the drummer. It added a bit of atmosphere that somehow made the unattended music seem less, well, unattended. In fact, there was a steady stream of people throughout the night having their photos made in front of the band (which someone dubbed "The Cutouts").

I solved a tricky little problem today and want to document it in case anyone else encounters it. But first, some background.

Our ballroom dance club is trying something different at our March dance. Up to now, we've always had live music, and that tradition will continue. But, for a variety of reasons, we're going to try some prerecorded music, sort of DJ-style...without the DJ.

I've created a play list in iTunes of about 50 songs for the evening, providing a wide variety of music for the most popular steps (foxtrot, waltz, swing, rumba, cha cha, tango, and salsa), and we're going to stream the music through a sound system via an iPad. The music is outstanding, but when Debbie and I gave the play list a run-through (well, a dance-through, to be exact), we discovered an unanticipated problem. There's not enough time between the songs.

Now, you would typically want the DJ to keep the music going in a continuous stream, but this isn't a nightclub or mosh pit. Well, sometimes it does resemble a mosh pit, but that's mostly unintentional. Anyway, ballroom dancing is a bit more formal, and we want to give people some time to get on and off the floor.

Here's the problem. iTunes, by default, puts two seconds between each song in a play list, and there's no preference or option to change that. There is an option to cross-fade songs (one fades out while the next fades in), but that doesn't help us a bit.

I tried googling a solution and found that this situation is not a problem for the vast majority of folks. In fact, most people want to know how to shorten the gap between songs. I did find one suggestion to put a short recording of, well, nothing in between each song but that seemed inelegant and tedious. Surely Apple, in its ubër-elegant and ultra-non-tedious design, had a better solution.

Uh, nope. I posted my dilemma on the discussion board on the  Apple website and the only workable solution that was suggested was - you guessed it - an "empty" audio file used as a spacer between songs. (This approach is reminiscent of a staple of website design back in the 90s, before CSS, when we used 1 pixel transparent GIFs to provide the desired spacing around various elements on the website. Can you say "inelegant" and "tedious"? And, uh, "effective"?)

So, I found a 15-second "empty" mp3 and downloaded it (it was advertised as a free download; I just hope the creators actually cleared the copyright issues around that bit of silence). I then imported it into iTunes, and dragged it into my play list.

Once in the play list, I copied-and-pasted the mp3 as many times as was needed to separate the songs, and then dragged the instances of the mp3 through the play list to provide the inter-song gaps. That's when I realized again the genius of Apple's iTunes music database approach. The actual "song" resides in one place; the duplicates are simply pointers to that one song.

Why is this important? Well, I discovered that 15 seconds was too long. That pause borders on uncomfortable. Ten seconds would be just about right. But that means I have to delete all those 15-second gaps, find a 10-second mp3, and repeat the import/copy/paste/drag process, right? Wrong.

If you select "Get Info" under the "File" menu in iTunes for a highlighted song, it provides an option (under the Option tab - go figure) for specifying a start and end time for the selected song. This allows a sort of on-the-fly cropping of an audio file, and it was the perfect solution for my "got 15 seconds of nothing but need only 10" problem. I simply selected one of the instances of the silent mp3 and set the end time to 10 seconds. As if by magick, all the other copies of the mp3 took on that same setting throughout the play list.

Now, this is where the elegance finally appears. Since I haven't physically edited the sound file, there are still 15 seconds of silence contained therein, and if I decide I want a larger gap, I can restore up to the full amount with that single setting. (There is a complication if I want to use, say, a 10 second gap on one play list and 15 seconds on another. In that case, I'll need to physically duplicate the original mp3, rename it, and import it to iTunes.)

So, there's a pretty detailed solution to a rather obscure problem. But if someone out there needs a way to increase the gap between songs in iTunes (that's a little trick to help Google find this post) then I'm happy to share what I've learned, and my job here is finished. Heck, I'll even provide a link so you can download your own slice of silence.

I'll let you know how the dance turns out. We're a little nervous. Ballroom dancers are such traditionalists, and they're like a pack of rabid hyenas under a full moon if things don't suit them.

So, I'm a fan of dancing, and I'm a fan of photography. Thus, this series called "Dancers Among Us" just absolutely fascinates me. I think you'll find it equally fascinating. There are more than 120 photographs in the collection, but it's really worth the time to page through the gallery.

We were at a dance Saturday night, sitting at a table with eight other fans of Dancing With The Stars, and someone observed that they were surprised that Bristol Palin was still on the show. The consensus was that Bristol's fan base had kept her in the competition long after her skill ceased to do so.

It is ironic that the one person who really, really seems to want to go home can't do so. Bristol is obviously uncomfortable in this setting - and who can blame her? She may be the only "celebrity" in the history of the show who isn't actually a celebrity: she's not an actor, entertainer, athlete, or politician. Her public appearances have been limited to sitting on stage with her famous mom, or to giving talks to various groups about preventing teen pregnancy. In short, she's a perfect candidate for a show like DWTS, but one who is all too rare.

I know she's homesick, and appears to not really covet the spotlight, but there is some incentive for her to stay on the show as long as possible. The celebrity paychecks increase the further into the season they get, with those who make the final show pocketing a reported $350,000 for the season. I'm sure Bristol isn't hurting for money, but I would also guess that being able to earn a third of a million dollars on her own would be an affirming accomplishment for any young woman in her circumstances. As an advocate for a specific social cause, the publicity she's gaining is simply priceless. And, finally, the longer she remains, the better paid is her dance partner, Mark Ballas (the professionals earn a reported $5,000 per episode).

Strange as it may be, while she has no chance of winning, Bristol has a shot at making the final three. Her skills aren't that far behind those of Kurt Warner, and I think her fan base is much larger than Kyle Massey's. So, we could be headed for an all-female DWTS finale, with one of those finalists being the longest of shots.

I'm not sure who comprises Bristol's fan base, but I disagree with some who think it's Tea Party support that's keeping her on the show. What do you think?

Following last night's premiere of Dancing With The Stars, it was painfully obvious that my predictions were as bad as Margaret Cho's dancing (which was just about the only thing I got right). But the good news is that this might be the most interesting season yet, for the simple reason that the show has no trained dancers (think Nicole Scherzinger) or Olympic skaters. It's a cast of pretty evenly-matched contestants.

So based on one performance, here's my revised ranking:

• Jennifer Grey - I nailed this one, even if I did misspell her name. She turned in a beautiful and emotional waltz that had Carrie Ann in tears (which, admittedly, isn't all that unusual). Grey has enough grace and skill (and the right partner in Derek) to continue being the front-runner.
  
  
• Kyle Massey - Big surprise (to me anyway). The kid can not only dance, but is eminently likable and has great showmanship. He's now in my top three.
  
  
• Brandy Norwood - Another surprise. She appears to have a strong competitive streak and the talent to back it up. Another top three competitor at this point.
  
  
• Rick Fox - Much better than expected, with grace and fluidity that can be attributed to Cheryl's expert coaching.
  
  
• Audrina Patridge - At first glance (and second, and third...) she was the typical early-exit eye candy that has generally been reserved for the supermodel genre, but she defied expectations with a very good performance. She might be this year's Pamela Anderson, although not as nasty.
  

Those are the front runners. Here's the rest of the field, in descending order:

• Kurt Warner - Warner has potential and he's just a really, really nice guy. Perhaps the fan base will carry him until he sharpens his dancing skills.
  
  
• Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino - I thought the judges hammered him a bit unfairly; with less than a week to prepare (vs. three weeks for everyone else), he did just fine. He's more likable than I expected, too. That's still a lame nickname you got going there, dude.
  
  
• Bristol Palin - Palin was a pleasant surprise: not wonderful, but not sucky, either. Considering her complete absence of experience as a performer, she may have turned in the best routine. That said, she's got a long way to go, and won't be a real contender.
  
  
• Florence Henderson - I predicted a surprise from her...and did she ever deliver! Unfortunately, it had nothing to do with her dancing, but, instead, her salty language and, um, friskiness. In fact, she flashed her "abs" (and other things) in a hilarious but vaguely disturbing challenge to The Situation. Her dancing was mediocre at best.
  
  
• David Hasselhoff - The Hoff was significantly less charming and adept than I expected. He's showing his age, or, rather, his mileage.
  
  
• Michael Bolton - Dancing skills suspect; charm absent.
  
  
• Margaret Cho - My only other accurate prediction. She was awful, although, surprisingly, a good part of that was due to the terrible routine cooked up by partner Louis van Amstel. Cho was probably cast as this year's Kelly Osborne, plagued by self-esteem issues, but I don't think she's nearly as sympathetic a character.

So, there you have it. Feel free to keep this as a scorecard for next week, and judge for yourself the accuracy of my observations and predictions.

The new season of Dancing With The Stars is just a few hours away, and I thought this would be the perfect time to share my predictions on how the competition will unfold. Following is the list of participants along with my handicapping of their chances, based on absolutely no insight or wisdom. Feel free to print this out and remind me as the season goes along of how incredibly lame I am.

• Bristol Palin - She will be this year's Kate Gosselin, painfully inept through no fault of her own (and without even the on-camera experience Gosselin brought with her) but kept alive for a few weeks by sympathetic women who can't stand Levi Johnston. Exit week: 5
  
  
• Michael Bolton - An old guy who tries to sound black when he sings, and sometimes succeeds, but he'll still dance like a white guy. Exit week: 2
  
  
• Rick Fox - Continuing in the tradition of sucky dancing basketball players, Rick will nevertheless hang around longer than reasonable 'cause the chicks dig him. And guys dig Cheryl Burke, his partner. Exit week: 6
  
  
• Margaret Cho - The comedienne who is not only not funny, but also can't dance. Margaret will be really sad to find out how many Christians watch DWTS. Exit week: 1
  
  
• Jennifer Gray - Nobody puts Baby in a corner (you knew that was coming, right?), and Jennifer is still cute as a bug. I'll bet she can still channel the spirit of Dirty Dancing, too, and Swayze's ghost will give her a boost. Plus, her partner is Derek Hough, and that's good for at least three extra weeks. Exit week: 10
  
  
• David Hasselhoff - The Hoff has the charm and wit of George Hamilton, and is probably spryer than the Sun God, so if he can lay off the burgers and Jagermeister, he'll be a contender. Exit week: 9
  
  
• Florence Henderson - She's no Betty White or Cloris Leachman...thank goodness! Everybody's sexy grandma will surprise us. Exit week: 6
  
  
• Kyle Massey - A 19 year old rapper. Really? How quaint. Exit week: 3
  
  
• Brandy Norwood - She bears a slight resemblance to disco queen Donna Summer. I don't think Donna could dance, either. But somebody's got to stick around past week 6. Exit week: 7
  
  
• Audrina Patridge - Who? Exit week: 1 (I'm pretty sure they'll drop two people right off the bat, to ease our pain.)
  
  
• Mike "The Situtation" Sorrentino - "The Situation"? What kind of stupid nickname is that, for pete's sake? It might as well be "The Yogurt," or "The Garage Door Opener." Still, I'm told he tests well with the core audience - young straight girls and young gay guys. I'm guessing he's got some moves. Exit week: 9
  
  
• Kurt Warner - Much as I respect Mr. Warner, he's going to bring an end to the tradition of football players who do well in DWTS. He's another old (relatively speaking), banged up white guy, and he's just too nice to get down. Heck, he may even be a Baptist. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Exit week: 5

You may have noticed that I've doubled up on some exit weeks. So sue me. To be honest, I'm not sure how long the season is this year. Anyway, the exact weeks aren't important; what's important is that you recognize the futility of guessing what will happen, and then give me big props for the lucky guesses.

Oh, and you want to know who wins? I dunno, but I think the top 3 will be Jennifer Grey, David Hasselhoff, and Mike "The Lame Nickname" Sorrentino.

Scientists have discovered what moves make a guy a good dancer, at least in the eyes of female onlookers (and, after all, what else matters?). It's apparently very simple, which only deepens the mystery of why so many of us are such bad dancers. We just need to move our torsos and necks more. *forehead slap* Why didn't I think of that before spending all that money on lessons?

OK, the sad fact is that almost none of us don't suck at dancing, when left to our own devices. I'm not talking about ballroom dancing, where the moves are choreographed and improvisation is frowned upon. (Don't believe me? You obviously haven't watched Strictly Ballroom.) I see a lot of highly skilled ballroom dancing guys on a regular basis, but when the band breaks into Louie, Louie and they have to rely on their own partner-less imaginations...well, let's just say it's a sad thing to behold.

(Girls, don't think you're much better. It's just that we guys have much different standards. Trust me.)

Further, I don't think there's any hope for most of us. Even with science-backed moves at our disposal, the best most of us can hope for is that we don't fall down too often when attempting the Water Sprinkler.

Personally, I think my best strategy is to emulate the classy moves of Los Chulapos dancing El Chotis, to wit:

Today's "Close to Home" cartoon hits, well, close to home.


However, in our case the caption is wrong. In our case, the neighbors would be saying, "The Siegmunds aren't being tormented by wasps after all; they're practicing the rumba." Or the cha cha...or the foxtrot...or, well, you get the idea. Sometimes it's hard to tell just exactly what we're doing on the dance floor.

The couple moved across the dance floor, somewhat less than smoothly, obviously mismatched in terms of skill. The man provided a strong lead to which the woman bravely attempted to respond. The music had a fast beat - he later described it as "almost a quickstep," one of the more challenging of the ballroom dances, and one certainly not suited for a beginner - and as they moved across the middle of the floor their feet, instead of moving in concert, tangled briefly and the couple stumbled.

As they began their descent toward the floor, it appeared for an instant they might regain their balance but the man, in an ill-fated attempt to rescue the situation, clung to his partner rather than letting her fall free. Inexplicably, they came face-to-face, literally and forcefully, and crashed to the floor in that position, him on top of her. They immediately rolled apart and onto their backs, striking oddly similar poses, legs outstretched, holding their faces as if to reassure themselves that they were intact.

She had a broken nose and a torn nostril. His nose wasn't broken, but his eyes were already beginning to blacken. Ballroom dance had claimed yet another set of victims.

That scene played out last Saturday night, near the end of what was otherwise an enjoyable and carefree evening of dancing to the music of an outstanding band from Austin, Texas. I was an eyewitness to the mishap, which took place only a few feet from the table where we were sitting while taking a break.

This was the third serious accident (that I know of) in as many years at a club dance. All three resulted in at least one visit to the emergency room. The victim of one of those incidents suffered months of recovery. And each mishap was the result of dancers trying steps that either they or their partners were unprepared for.

I suspect that everyone who has danced regularly has had mishaps of varying degrees of seriousness, ranging from smashed toes to elbows in the face to turned ankles. My eyeglasses have gone flying across the room, and Debbie has dropped like a rock when another dancer (not me, thank goodness) stepped on her foot. Neither of us has been injured (pride doesn't count; we lost that baggage as soon as we started taking lessons!), but incidents like last Saturday night's remind us that ballroom isn't for wimps.

In fact, it might be advisable to have safety briefs at the beginning of each dance. As the police sergeant in Hill Street Blues said each day prior to the start of the next shift, "let's be careful out there." The dance floor can be a dangerous place!

Triple Swing is a dance step. That's not the step that the folks in the following video are doing, but watch for a minute or so and you'll see that it's still a relevant description. And, in case you're wondering, we did not teach them everything they know. ;-)

[Updated August, 2011

Based on the number of questions Debbie and I get about ballroom dancing, I've decided to create a rare thing: a Content Filled post providing some basic information about dance lessons and venues in the Midland/Odessa area. This is by no means a comprehensive treatise but I hope it will provide some useful tips for those who are new to ballroom or who are new to the area.

Lessons/Studios

There are a large number of dance studios in Midland/Odessa, but most cater to children. I'm familiar with two that offer ballroom lessons for adults.

In Odessa, the Love to Dance studio is relatively new. Ray and Ronnie Reynosa are the owners and instructors, and they teach all forms of ballroom and Latin dances. Their pricing and lesson options are shown on their website. The Reynosas are also great ambassadors for dancing throughout West Texas as they travel to some of the smaller outlying towns to give lessons.

In Midland, Bernadette Lindsey's Dance Design studio (no website) is the most well-established ballroom studio in the area. Dance Design is located in the Imperial Shopping Center (3211 W. Wadley, Suite 11B; phone 432.352.8866). Bernadette offers private lessons and beginning, intermediate, and advanced group lessons, and teaches country as well as ballroom steps. She also periodically offers an introduction to ballroom dance class through Midland College's Continuing Education curriculum; you can find the current CE schedule here.

If you're an absolute beginner I strongly recommend the Midland College class. It's a great way to learn the basics of six common dances (Waltz, Foxtrot, Tango, Rumba, Cha-
Cha and Meringue) in a low-stress environment, and you can quickly decide if ballroom is something you want to pursue further.

In the interest of full disclosure, Debbie and I have taken and continue to take both group and private lessons from Bernadette.

Dance Clubs

Of course, knowing how to dance doesn't do you a lot of good if you have no place to use that skill. Our area is fortunate to have two active organizations that promote ballroom dancing.

The Ballroom Dance Society (BDS) is the older of the two, having been in existence since 1990. It current has about 150 members, most of whom are in Midland and Odessa, but some live as far away as San Angelo, Fort Davis, and Abilene. Membership is open to anyone, but requires a recommendation from a current member. The annual membership fee is $45/person; dances are $35/person and are generally held at Midland Country Club (MCC). Update: Beginning in 2012, most BDS dances will be held at the Gloria Denman Ballroom. (More about dance venues below) The dress code for BDS is semi-formal to formal; men are required to wear coats and ties and you'll see more than a few tuxes at a given dance, and ladies don evening wear. The exceptions are the summer dances where casual dress is permitted. Dances are always accompanied by a buffet dinner. Dances are generally scheduled on Saturday evenings, one per month. Another update: Beginning in 2012, most dances will be on Friday evenings.

The current BDS schedule, showing dates and bands, is available here.

More full disclosure: Debbie and I serve on the BDS board.

Club Dance was formed in 2007 by some members of BDS who wanted to expand the opportunities for dancing in the area. It's a bit larger than BDS, with perhaps 200 members. Club Dance differentiates itself from BDS in several ways. First, it's a little less expensive; annual membership fee is $40/couple or $25/individual; dances are $25/person. Second, the dress code is more casual; coats and ties are rarely required. Third, the Club dances have a wider variety of music, with a couple of dances each year featuring country music. And finally, the normal venue for their dances is the Gloria Denman Ballroom, a wonderful facility that's described in more detail below. Dances are accompanied by a buffet dinner provided by a variety of local caterers. Dances are generally scheduled on Saturday evenings, one per month.

It's logical to presume that the two clubs compete with each other, but that's not the case. With a few exceptions, most dancers are members of both clubs, and the organizations work together to ensure that their schedules don't conflict. Several of the board members of one group also serve on the board of the other. There are several benefits to having two such groups, primarily in the areas of providing alternatives for levels of formality, and exposure to different types of music and dance venues.

All dances for both clubs feature live bands and orchestras. The challenges involved in locating and booking bands that do a good job of ballroom music and that are affordable are not insignificant. While there are a few bands in the Midland/Odessa area, groups are also booked from Lubbock, Abilene, San Angelo, and even Dallas or Austin. Musical quality can vary, but it's all danceable. [It apparently borders on blasphemy to suggest using a DJ, but given some of the rather inexpert musicianship we've experienced over the years, I'd be perfectly happy to dance to prerecorded music that has a steady beat and on-pitch vocalists. But, that's just me. Update: In March, 2011, BDS used pre-recorded music for a dance with great success.]

Venues

As implied above, there are two primary venues for ballroom dancing in this area. Midland Country Club has a temporary floor that will comfortably accommodate 20-30 couples, depending on the dance (some require more elbow room than others). The BDS partnered with MCC a couple of years ago to purchase additional "tiles" that expanded the floor area by about 50%, but it could still use some expansion. Still, the MCC ballroom is an elegant setting.

However, the showcase venue in West Texas is the recently completed Gloria Denman Ballroom (GDB) located at St. Stephens Catholic Church (located on Neely, west of Midland Drive). This beautiful facility is named for the generous benefactor who funded its construction; Gloria and her husband Doug continue to be active in both clubs and are wonderful people. The GDB is massive (7,000 square feet); it will easily accommodate 100 couples plus tabled seating. Its permanent floor is smooth and comfortable. This is truly a showcase venue for local dancers.

There is actually a third venue that can be used for dancing and that's the Petroleum Club in
downtown Midland. At one time, this was the venue of choice for the BDS until the oil and gas boom heated up competition for space and the club looked for an easier-to-book location. One of the areas country dance clubs (Just Dance Country) uses the Petroleum Club as its regular venue, but its dances are general on Thursday evenings. In any event, this venue remains an excellent choice when available, with a floor area between that of MCC and GDB.

Why Join?

You certainly don't have to be a member of a dance club to be a ballroom dancer in West Texas, but you'll find your opportunities to dance to be severely limited if you choose to go it on your own. The aforementioned venues host no open-to-the-public dances, and there simply aren't any other public venues for ballroom dancing in Midland/Odessa. (It's quite another story if you want to stick with country music, and there's certainly nothing wrong with that. The Stardust Club in Odessa provides a nice floor in a safe environment with DJ'd country music. The biggest downside is that it's not a smoke-free environment.)

In addition to gaining access to great venues, the clubs also offer the opportunity to get to know a group of people who you might not otherwise encounter. Debbie and I have been pleasantly surprised - blessed, even - by the friends and acquaintances we've made over the past few years. We hear this a lot: we got into it for the dancing, but we've stayed with it for the people. Perhaps it's the basic etiquette that comes with ballroom training, but you meet some of the nicest folks at the dances.

Of course, many (most?) people feel a bit intimidated by dancing with a new group, especially if they're beginners. It's hard not to feel like you're being judged. We certainly felt that way at our first few dances. But we soon learned the simple truth: nobody else cares how you dance. They like it that you're trying. And we're all too concerned with our own steps to judge someone else's.

That's not to say that people don't watch you, because not everyone dances every dance and part of the fun is watching other dancers. If that's intimidating, here's a tip that's guaranteed to mitigate the problem. Find the best dancers on the floor and stick close to them. No one will even notice you. (Hmm. That could explain why we're often alone on the floor!)

If you're a ballroom dancer in West Texas and you have additional information, corrections and/or clarifications regarding anything I've written here, please feel free to share them in the comments and I'll update this post accordingly.

One of the unanticipated benefits of taking up ballroom dancing is the expansion of our appreciation of different types of music. While we've acquired the habit of judging all music we hear by the American Bandstandesque criterion of being "easy to dance to" (something that's admittedly distracting when it occurs at church), we've also found that dancing creates a hitherto missing physical connection to music, and this added dimension has opened us up to new genres. For example, we listen to more jazz and "easy listening" pop (think Michael Bublé). That shouldn't be too surprising, though, as those genres have historically been associated with ballroom-type dancing.

More unexpected is a new appreciation for country music. As our dancing abilities have improved, we've become more discerning in matching up music to dance steps, and we were surprised to find that country music isn't just an endless series of Two Steps. We've waltzed, cha-cha'd, rumba'd, and swung to country songs. And the Two Step is really just a straight-line foxtrot. About the only steps we've not been able to apply to country music thus far are the tango and the samba, and we're so clumsy at the latter that we don't miss it. [Update: George Strait's River of Love is a pretty good samba.]

I listen almost exclusively to the Outlaw Country station on the Sirius XM station in my car, and Debbie has her car radio tuned to a local country station (she's less enamored with the "outlaw" version of the genre, and I have to admit that some of the stuff they play can be pretty obnoxious; 50 Cent has nothing on David Allen Coe when it comes to filthy lyrics). But the channel is also one of the few places where you can routinely listen to some of the country classics: Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard, Hank Snow, Hank Williams, Bob Wills...to name a few. I've also been introduced to some of the newer artists like Corb Lund, Lucinda Williams, and Cross Canadian Ragweed (which isn't Canadian at all, unlike Corb Lund).

In the "mainstream" side, musicians such as Jason Aldean, Darius Rucker, Zac Brown, and Randy Houser are breathing new life into the genre. Heck, I even like much of what Taylor Swift does, although it's a bit of a stretch to call her "country" (even so, the fact that she writes most of her own material is impressive to me).

Perhaps it's just that one can re-listen to the hits from the 60s and 70s only so much, or that modern pop/rock is too angsty and boring. Or perhaps it's that country music has appropriated what's best from those other genres while still maintaining (for the most part) its original character. It could be that, more often than not, country artists express moral values via their music that more closely aligns with ours. Whatever the reasons, country has breathed new life into our iPods and radios (and dance steps...we're not half bad Two Steppers nowadays). And for someone living in West Texas, that's got to be a Good Thing.

Programming note: If you read this post yesterday and found that it had an abrupt and unfulfilling ending, you might want to take another shot at it. Not that the ending is any more fulfilling, but at least it has one now. In the meantime, I'll be away taking a remedial course in blogging in an attempt to remember the difference between "Save as Draft" and "Publish."


As I've mentioned a couple of times, we spent the July 4th weekend at Canyon Lake, in the Texas Hill Country. We went there without much of an agenda, other than tubing down the Guadalupe River (a pastime, by the way, whose attraction escapes me, but Debbie grew up with fond memories of tubing the Frio River so I suppose we were trying to recapture her childhood. But, I digress; this is not about that.).

Having a relatively uncluttered schedule, when we saw numerous signs advertising a "sock hop" featuring the music of Johnny Dee & the Rocket 88's, one of us decided that we ought to go.

Parenthetical aside, sans parentheses: Now, lest you misinterpret the preceding sentence, let me assure you that despite all claims to the contrary, I am not a stick-in-the-mud. Well, not always. I'm just, well, deliberate. I had my reasons for initially being less than enthusiastic, and those reasons proved to be remarkably relevant as we shall soon see.

It took us a while to discover the reason for this event - it was a fund-raiser for a community service group, but after talking to a couple of enthusiastic volunteers and learning that it was an annual and well-attended event, we decided to shell out $50 for two tickets. We decided that, if nothing else, we could hear some fun music, and maybe get to practice a few dance moves in front of people who would likely never see us again. That's a liberating concept, by the way.

Neither of us had packed in anticipation of a dance, but with the understanding that this was a very casual affair, we headed for the J.C. Penney's store in nearby New Braunfels where Debbie found a fetching sundress and I scored a couple of pairs of ridiculously plaid shorts, the kind all the Kool Kids are wearing nowadays. Shoes were a slight concern, but I figured that my low-top All-Stars would fit in with the sock hop theme, and Debbie never travels with fewer than a dozen pairs, and surely one of them would work.

We had been informed that while the dance got underway at 8:00pm, there would be a dance instructor on hand earlier to give a few swing lessons to those who were interested. Since this was our first time at the event, we showed up early, and joined in the group lessons even though they were pretty basic. It was during those lessons that my initial concerns began to assume enhanced credibility.

If you were anywhere near the Hill Country over the 4th of July weekend, you know how hot it was. Temperatures were in triple digits every day, and the humidity pushed the heat index into the danger zone. Thus the temperature was still in the upper 90s when the dance began, and did I mention that it took place in an non-air-conditioned, gym-sized metal building? The organizers had set up an industrial strength fan in front of one of the four garage doors set in the sides of the building, but there was no cross ventilation so the fan didn't provide any relief unless you stood directly in front of it.

And thus we found ourselves glowing intensely following the rather mild dance lessons...and it was obvious what was coming.

The band fired up promptly at 8:00 (and if you've never been to a JD&tR88s show, you're missing a great time; these guys are pros, in every sense of the word) and while the majority of the 300 or so in attendance were content to sit and listen, the concrete dance floor was crowded throughout the evening. As you might expect from a 50s/60s retro band, most of the music was fast, and so we spent most of our time doing swing and cha cha, with an occasional rumba thrown in. We also spent all of our time sweating.

We'll never again complain about the air conditioning not being turned up enough at our ballroom dances, because we learned that evening what it means to truly sweat to the oldies. I'm talking dripping-off-your-fingertips, flung-off-the-ends-of-your-hair (well, not mine, of course), do-you-think-these-clothes-are-ruined? levels of sweat. And that was after just three dances.

Still, we quickly realized that everyone was in the same boat - the same sticky, soggy, smelly boat - and we decided just to enjoy the music and the dancing. As I said, chances were good that no one would ever see us again, and there's a lot to be said for anonymity in a situation like that.

But when the band took its first break, the aforementioned dance instructor made her way through the row of tables to where we were sitting (and dripping). She crouched down next to us and quietly asked if we could come up to the front of the bandstand at the next break. Oh, great; we've violated a local standard of personal hygiene and they want to make an example of us before they run us out of town. OK, that sounds silly, but not as silly as the real reason.

The instructor leaned forward and said (I swear this is the truth), "we've been watching the dancers and we want to recognize three couples who are doing the best job, and you are one of them." Debbie and I could barely stifle our disbelieving laughter. I mean, while we weren't falling down on the dance floor, or if we were it was gracefully choreographed, we also weren't (in our humble opinions) doing anything worthy of what was obviously A Major Award.

But, I'll admit we were flattered. And so we gratefully and humbly accepted our Major Award during the next break, still sweating like Mississippi chain gang workers. Finally, we had tangible evidence that the literally thousands of dollars we've invested in dancing (if you total the cost of the lessons, dances, ball gowns and shoes, tuxedo and accouterments, and so on) over the last three years has paid off.

And we have the denim apron, soy candle, and bar of scented soap to prove it.

What can I say? It was a fund-raiser, and local merchants donated the awards. And, as they say, beggars can't be choosers. Especially really sweaty ones.

You may note that I've elected to categorize the following in "Ballroom Dance." I chose that category simply because I lack one called "Personal Disasters of Epic Proportions."

At 5:55 p.m. last Friday evening, we were full of enthusiasm and hope, eager to conquer the romantic and brave new world of ballroom dancing.

Two hours later we were shambling, twitching, sweating (well, MLB was merely glowing) step-counting robots whose fantasies were as shattered as our dance "moves." My wife later confessed that her dreams were filled with the mantra, "itty-bitty step...itty-bitty step..." For my part, all I managed to retain was that I, being the man, always start with my left foot. Everything thereafter is a blur; may God have mercy on my partner.

We arrived at the dance studio precisely on time, only to discover that everyone else was early. It reminded me of a junior high function (except for the male-female pairings); each couple stood in their own circle of personal space, sizing up the others ("yeah, I think I take him in the waltz; not sure about the mambo, however"), hoping to find someone who looked klutzy enough to divert attention from themselves. The demographic was pretty consistent...middle-aged WASPish, like us, with a single GenX couple who seemed to be second-guessing their Friday evening plans. There were about ten couples in all, plus two women without partners (and I gave them extra credit for their courage). MLB and I were fortunate in that we were friends with one of the couples; they had, in fact, provided us with the motivation to sign up for the class, and it remains to be seen whether forgiveness will be forthcoming.

After a five minute introduction by our instructor, a tall brunette named Bernadette, the guys were told to line up across the room and we launched immediately into the first steps of our dancing careers. We started with the foxtrot, and I encountered my first humiliation of the evening (I got used to them, by the way).

Apparently, in ballroom dancing it's considered to be the suave and gentlemenly thing to keep your knees together with feet pointed straight ahead ("pretend you're wearing corduroy pants, and the ribbing rubs with each step," Bernadette helpfully suggested). Well, that ain't happenin' with yours truly. I'm 6' 1" but I'd be 6' 4" if I weren't bowlegged, and one foot pretty much refuses to point straight ahead, if given a choice. We all had a big laugh over that, and I'm sure the others were still laughing later after I sneaked out and let the air out of their tires.

Despite my apparent physical shortcoming, I managed to get through the evening with a minimal amount of damage to either my partner or the other students. The least comfortable moment of the class was the one time we had to switch partners and I ended up with the GenX girl, who was about 4' 11" and had that deer-in-the-headlights look as she contemplated my size 10s next to her (very fashionable) size 2s. That encounter is now, thankfully, a blur; all I remember is her saying at the end, "you take really big steps, don't you?"

As this class is entitled "An Introduction to Ballroom Dancing," we went wide but not deep. We covered the foxtrot, waltz, cha-cha, rumba, mambo, tango and merengue. My personal favorite is the merengue, as it was the last one we tried and thus the only one I remember. Also, the merengue seems to consist basically of walking, and while my carriage is not a thing of beauty*, I mastered that skill a number of years ago and it's finally coming in handy.

Lessons learned? First, ballroom dancing isn't for wimps. Those who do it well are working harder than I ever imagined, especially with the latin steps. We used muscles that apparently lay back on a chaise lounge and sip iced tea during cycling and running workouts. Second, it's fun, even if you're really bad at it. In fact, for a while anyway, I think being bad at it is part of the fun. Expectations are low; everyone's messing up. I'm not sure how long I'll be able to capitalize on that situation, but it's the best plan I've got at this point.

We're facing three more lessons, one each Friday evening in May. But the only light at the end of this tunnel is an oncoming freight train, as the ladies have discovered that Midland has, of all things, a Ballroom Dance Society, where members get all gussied up once a month and go to the Petroleum Club for a couple of hours of gliding across the floor to the accompaniment of live music. The ladies think it all sounds very romantic and cultured. I can't repeat what the guys think.

*Extra credit to anyone who can identify the culturally iconic source of that phrase.