Ant Band

OK, feast your eyes on this little jewel:

Photo - Fire Ant Gazette silicon wristband

That's right - it's an authentic Fire Ant Gazette wrist band, crafted by otherworldly artisans deep beneath the earth (in the general area of Wickett) from the finest silicon harvested by documented workers from the forests of Silicon Valley, and tinted in Classic Lead-Free Pewter to accentuate the elegance of the finest evening wear and/or t-shirts. It's embossed with the iconic Fire Ant and the reverse side has the URL imprinted with this oddly playful font that evokes the mystery and wonder of Walt Disney after a three day binge with the dwarves.

What's more amazing is that one of these beauties can be yours for a song - well, for a poem, to be more precise. I'll send one to the first three people to leave a haiku about fire ants in the comment section of this post. 

Because, frankly, I don't know what I'm going to do with a case of these things. So help me out here, will ya? It seemed like a good idea at the time.


Evil, biting pests
But, when found online instead,
A smile sometimes comes.

Red body that stings
Found in mounds of dry red dirt
Why must you hurt me

lovely ancient font
band forged in the hobbit's fire
burnished silver... WANT

I hate ants.
Mainly cause of CSI.
But Eric rocks!

(I'm thinking of that episode of CSI where the guy is buried alive with a heap of Fire Ants. Since we don't have any, I learnt a bit more about them hehe and am really glad we don't have them.)

little fireant
fiery fierce formidable
tiny powerhouse

I knew I should of checked whether it was three or five! Try this,

Ants sometimes scare me,
Mainly cause of CSI.
It is live ants only.

Just in case Rachel's first submission is disqualified...

Little red ninjas
Leap from grass blades while I mow
Biting stinging pests

Sheesh, seems I'm late to the party. Well, here's my bid anyway:

Ants, strength aplenty,
Absconded with our picnic,
All's left: breath minties.

Went to bed early
missed out on a fun contest
oh, desolation

Such an unusal & unique creature of God
And a tenacious & formidable foe of man,
So I'm standing by their lofty mound,
Wonderin' how much Amdro can they stand!

Do I pour out just a teaspoonful
Or maybe a measured cup.
How bout' the entire bag.
Now that would be kicking butt.

But to my visual periphery I spied a single warrior ant
Working tirelessly the warm morning soil.
And what I saw on that frame so scant,
Give me a moment to recoil.

For upon its tiny leg was a single band,
Or maybe it was a tiny sock.
But enscribed in the tiniest lettering read..
'Eric really rocks!'

So I took this as a sign from above,
as I placed the Amdro out of danger's way.
I spared the mound and it's curious soul,
Thinking.....I'll have to kill them another day.


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About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Eric published on May 13, 2011 9:48 PM.

Cinemagraphs: Animated GIFs Live Again! was the previous entry in this blog.

The Transfiguration: The most intriguing passage in the Bible? is the next entry in this blog.

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