in·ev·i·ta·bil·i·ty/iˌnevədəˈbilədē/noun: inevitability; plural noun: inevitabilities the quality of being certain to happen“there was an air of inevitability about the outcome” You know how when you’re sitting in your recliner watching Netflix and eating roasted, lightly salted mixed nuts, and you drop one and it lodges between the cushion and the arm of the chair, and you know… Continue reading Chair Peanuts & Running Shoes: The Embodiment of Inevitability
Month: August 2020
Neighborhood Nature (Pt. 5)
Editor’s note: The Editorial Board here at the Gazette has grudgingly come to accept that rudimentary animations in the form of gifs — pronounced with a soft “g” — must be tolerated, much as one tolerates the annoying-but-inescapable social behavior of toddlers and politicians. That said, the Board has put strict limits on the use… Continue reading Neighborhood Nature (Pt. 5)
And the heat goes on…but not the lizards, perhaps
Hey, y’all…is it hot where you live? This is the time of year where we resurrect General Sheridan’s quote about preferring to live in Hell and rent out Texas, which makes a lot of sense until you wonder just who, exactly, would be willing to rent Texas during August? Alert Gazette readers will recall that… Continue reading And the heat goes on…but not the lizards, perhaps
AMEX Centurion Credit Card? Ha! A mixtape card is way cooler.
My Discover card expired recently and when I popped over to their website to request a new one, I discovered (ha!) that I could choose from about 150 different designs. My initial thought was “well, this is sorta lame,” the same reaction I have to folks who order checks decorated with puppies and hummingbirds (the… Continue reading AMEX Centurion Credit Card? Ha! A mixtape card is way cooler.
Dream Sequence
It’s an indisputable fact that the most boring thing one can bring to a conversation is a detailed description of one’s dream. Sure, that dream sequence involving Scarlett Johansson, a badger, and a NutriBullet smoothie machine created a permanent new neural pathway on your brain, but even your most fevered and fervent description of that… Continue reading Dream Sequence